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Eggs, I'm just not that into you.

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  • Eggs, I'm just not that into you.

    My beloved Eggs:

    I've spent the best part of my life with you. In the 18 years we've been together, every morning that I woke up to your pearly white shell has given me the strength to go about my day. You really do give me the energy I need, and I'm so thankful for that. I think you're good for me. I really, really do, but I think we've hit a rut in our relationship.

    I used to love it when you would get hot when you knew what was coming. You knew I would taste you all over. But now it seems that we have done that same routine over and over again, and I'm not getting the pleasure from you like I used to. Don't most couples mix things up? Don't most couples get wild and crazy when it's time to heat things up? What do we do? Boiled and scrambled every single time. It's just not pleasurable to me anymore. I've tried spicing things up with you, but nothing works. You've just gotten boring.

    So Eggs, by the time you read this, I've probably got some nice meat in my mouth and I'm probably experiencing more pleasure from this than I have from you in years. If you come up with a way to make this relationship exciting again, give me a call. But I'm not coming back unless you find a way to please me again.

    Sorry for breaking you so much,

    (Anybody have any other ways to cook an egg?)
    Last edited by Aly; 07-13-2011, 04:10 PM.

  • #2
    Saute thin sliced zucchini and green onion. When soft, add in some raw scrambled egg and cook. Zucchini and eggs is an awesome breakfast.
    Over easy eggs are my favorite to eat with meat - so I can dip the meat in the yoke. Mmmm


    • #3
      I like to scramble them with spinach, or broccoli. Zucchini is good also as previously noted.
      You can even make them deviled you'd have to look for a nice primal recipe for the filling though I guess most mustard and home made mayo would work.
      I find your lack of bacon disturbing.


      • #4
        dear Aly,

        admittedly, I have felt your frustration. This isn't the first time things have grown a little tiresome in a relationship with me, but in my yolk I know we can last forever if we are willing to experiment just a little more.
        We've done boiled; we've done scrambled--there are countless more things we have yet to try. Just off the top of my head, it might be time to try frying. And, while it may take a delicate hand, poaching is always an option.
        I wasn't sure I wanted to be the first one to bring this up, but perhaps it's time to think about more than just us. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable or anything, but maybe we want to invite a few others into our relationship. You're already seeing meat, right? Imagine how i would taste fried and sitting on top of a piece of steak. Everyone knows how well ham and I get along. How good would ham scrambled up with me and a little Tabasco would be in your mouth. And veggies...ohhhh, what veggies can do with me and ham, and that creamy devil, cheese.
        i refuse to accept your rejection until you have tried me as the two best options i present: omelets and frittatas. In these cases, I'm only the vehicle for all the other scrumptious foods that play well with me. Meats, cheeses, veggies, sauces...even nuts; they all work in these cases.
        I don't want this to be the end. I miss your lips, your teeth, your healthy gut. We've only scratched the surface of the fun times we're going to have together.
        forever and always,



        • #5
          I'm with Egg - once you fully explore the risque world of both omelets and frittatas, you'll never be able to go back to the same ol, same ol.....The possibilities are deliciously endless. I also HIGHLY suggest incorporating coconut oil.
          Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

          - Robert Louis Stevenson


          • #6
            Hahaha! I love it.
            Ancestral Health Info

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            • #7
              Nice Dear-John letter to the poor egg. Time to put the eggs in something other than the starring role. Here is a suggestion to rekindle the flame:

              Set the frying pan medium hot, and toss in a couple slices of onion chopped microscopically small and spread evenly to fry while things heat up
              Then whisk 2 eggs and add a tsp of Sambal or other spicy sauce
              Grate some cheese into the pan making a nice layer over the onions
              Once the cheese melts, pour the eggs over and cover with a pot lid or some such
              Once the top of the egg is dry, lace with pepper, fold in half, and serve.

              It should come off the pan with the cheese crispy and the onion well browned on one side. It is like fried-cheese and onion with eggs. Very fast, good fuel for a work day, and just a teaser for the million different things you could do featuring fried cheese.



              • #8
                Devil 'em!
                This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. Ralph Waldo Emerson

                Any given day you are surrounded by 10,000 idiots.
                Lao Tsu, founder of Taoism


                • #9
                  This may be a primal/paleo sin for some of you, but I've never been a huge egg fan so I usually add just a few slices of potato in mine. Along with decided tomatoes, onions, peppers, ham, sausage and topped off w/ cheese. It's like the entire kitchen sink but really filling... I may also sprinkle in some black pepper and minced garlic/garlic powder. And a fritatta is FANTASTIC!
                  sigpic My goal pic...

                  Sugar is a damn drug. It's a sick and evil cycle that I must break permanently. GROKETTE ON!

         (My personal designs & creations of quality handcrafted jewelry. Items for grokettes AND groks of all ages.)