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The Sandwich is Back, and He's Pretty Pissed Off. Primal 5 Minute Sandwich Time!

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  • Originally posted by Adrianag View Post
    I don't usually link to untested recipes but this one is screaming with potential - flax, coconut flour, sesame seeds, yum!
    http://www.lifeasaplate.com/2010/12/...istory-of-man/
    Test report - I made this with pecan meal instead of flax and it turned out very good. I think it will be excellent for making buns. I plan to make the next batch in my muffin top pans.

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    • I am so glad someone replied to this, I never saw it the first time around. I totally have a crush on your unnecessary verbiage.

      and hey, maybe this weekend I'll make a sandwich.

      Originally posted by Rivvin View Post
      I know you are asking yourself why the sandwich is mad. He's such a nice guy who has done so much for all of us at some point in our lives, how could he be mad at us? If it wasn't for him, we'd never have survived grade school. If it wasn't for the sandwich, construction workers everywhere would die of starvation. How could something so magnificent turn against us? Well, you assholes replaced him with some shitty cabbage and lettuce and wrapped your crap up in a green shroud of misery and tastelessness that completely defies everything sandwich has tried to give us.

      How can we redeem ourselves? By making a goddamn sandwich, and here's how.



      The Bread
      It's the staff of life... you best respect or step off, bitch.

      Your Hardware:
      A square or round glass container roughly the size of bread with a flat bottom.

      Your Software:
      1/4th cup flax meal or almond meal (they are both delicious)
      2 tbsp fat (coconut oil or butter)
      1 tsp baking powder
      1 egg
      100% of your respect for the sandwich!

      Mix all of that together very well and then pour it in your container. Microwave it for 1 minute 20 seconds. Congratulations, you just made some bread. Now pop it out of the container and onto a plate and let it cool off and firm up a bit.

      Guess what retard, this isn't a deconstructed sandwich topped with foi gras foam and molecular gastronomy bullshit, so you are gonna need another piece of bread. Do what you just did again.

      Put something between the bread. I don't care what you put between there, but it's not a sandwich unless it has something meaty inside. I chose a grilled chicken breast, spinach, spicy mustard, and some onion. If you make this without meat I hope you die.



      "WAIT A SECOND RIVVIN!" I know, I hear can you yelling that in your head. You want to know how I have such delicious crispy chips sitting next to that beautiful beast of bread and breast (chicken, that is).

      Stupid Simple Chips
      It's all that and a bag of chips. The 90's called, they want their tagline back.

      Your Hardware:
      A Knife

      Your Software:
      Some Parmesan (a block of the good stuff, don't use pre-shredded kraft krap)

      Slice the Parmesan thin and put it on a plate. Microwave the slices for 1 minute. Give them a minute to harden. Chips are made.



      It is my fervent desire that you have learned to respect that which is known as the sandwich by my frivolous use of profanity and unnecessary verbiage. If you use some already prepared meat, this thing can be thrown together in 5 minutes or less. You can flavor the bread with spices, you can switch to almond meal if you want something different, and there are literally a million different sandwich combinations out there.


      Sincerely,
      Rivvin. The King of Bachelor Cooking.
      ***if you fall down seven times, get up eight.***

      Comment


      • I just made a double batch, so I can have some for breakfast -- I made it with almond meal and it is totally awesome! This really makes my day, because it will totally help out when I am craving carbs!

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        • dudes and ladies:
          what is the success story on the oven method? what temp? how long? etc. me hungie for bacon sandwich with cheese and avocados and roasted redz. i wanna grilt cheez. i wanna french toast with fried bananas. i wanna meatball sub.

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          • Originally posted by cookie View Post
            dudes and ladies:
            what is the success story on the oven method? what temp? how long? etc. me hungie for bacon sandwich with cheese and avocados and roasted redz. i wanna grilt cheez. i wanna french toast with fried bananas. i wanna meatball sub.
            Your name is cookie. You don't need sandwiches.

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            • Originally posted by Rivvin View Post
              I've got a serious hankerin' for a PB&J with almond butter and ?. Seriously what the heck can you sub jelly with? Are my dreams dashed forever?
              Mashed strawberries or blueberries. If you "do" artificial sweeteners or want to use honey or maple syrup you can make guava or blackberry jam by simply cooking sweetened mashed fruit or puree down a bit, about 5 minutes of simmering. Both have enough natural pectin that they will jell with nothing else added.
              Last edited by Adrianag; 02-16-2011, 06:09 PM.

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              • I just made a double batch using pecan meal instead of flax. Added 1/2 tsp. Onion powder and a pinch of salt. Cooked them in the muffin top pan at 350 for 12 minutes. It made 4 thin buns, each suitable for a top and a bottom of a sangwich. I wonder if we add a bit of acid, sour cream or yogurt, we'll get them to rise more.

                If somebody tells me how it's done I'll post pictures.

                They smell amazing, haven't tasted them yet. There is a Bacon Blue Cheese Burger on my menu.

                .
                Last edited by Adrianag; 02-16-2011, 06:26 PM.

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                • This was my dinner tonight, a mushroom-cheddar burger:


                  I split one recipe between two single-serving casserole dish thingies, and it still took both hands to handle Rivvin's buns!

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                  • Originally posted by pebblehead View Post
                    I still took both hands to handle Rivvin's buns!
                    Well, I think we all figured out from the video that Rivvin's buns were a challenge.
                    MTA: because it is rare I dont have more to say

                    "When I got too tired to run anymore I just pretended I wasnt tired and kept running anyway" - my daughter Age 7

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                    • That burger looks fantastic. Also, sometimes it helps to squeeze the buns a little bit as it makes them easier to work with.

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                      • this thread i think the most entertaining i have ever read on this site

                        hahaha the recipe, its the same as the 'minute flax muffin' that makes big hits on low carb sites, some add in protein powder, some add yogurt or soda water for fluffiness, or dark chocolate ofor deserts. if you take the recipe and fry it in nonskick skillet you get pizza dough then broil it with ingredients. you can 'bulk it' with zucchini and cook it in the oven.

                        seems like endless possibilities,, but i have never made it
                        Get on my Level
                        http://malpaz.wordpress.com/

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                        • anyone interested in the million varieties of this micro-flax thing, this thread will keep you occupied for hours...

                          http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/lo...in-recipe.html
                          Get on my Level
                          http://malpaz.wordpress.com/

                          Comment


                          • All I know is that this Saturday night's dinner will be patty melts with sauteed shrooms and onions.
                            Georgette

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                            • Originally posted by MalPaz View Post
                              anyone interested in the million varieties of this micro-flax thing, this thread will keep you occupied for hours...

                              http://www.lowcarbfriends.com/bbs/lo...in-recipe.html
                              Holy crap this is awesome

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Rivvin View Post
                                If you make two peices of bread out of the flax meal (which is what I've been doing with a slightly larger dish) it comes out to like 200 calories and not even 2 carbs for both slices.
                                Do you mean both slices = 200 calories together, or 200 calories per slice? Relying on the info in my head, the recipe you posted makes about 400 calories worth of food, so I'm confused about whether or not I'm really supposed to use 2 tbsp of oil/butter. I don't care how many calories I end up eating, I'm just confuuuuused. ;_;

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