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Stop Fit-shaming. Ladies: Being healthy and beautiful is good.

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  • Stop Fit-shaming. Ladies: Being healthy and beautiful is good.

    It seems that society is splitting further and further from healthy people and unhealthy. (I'm speaking 80% of weight and metabolism, but I think this also includes smaller things like people getting tons of piercings, tattoos, bizarre haircuts, etc.)

    Women have it the worst, for the obvious reason that women value their beauty more, for evolutionary reasons. Lately, the split between the healthy and unhealthy has caused the latter group (and their benefactors) to start the fad of "fit-shaming". Sites like HuffPost and comments at Facebook and elsewhere regularly spew what could only be called hate-speech, with barely repressed dreams of violence, against healthy women.

    There were a couple of lovely young "mommy bloggers" who posted pictures of themselves, looking far leaner than the average woman. Social media flipped out (just Google "Maria Kang" for one such instance) and Facebook even banned the woman on the left below:



    Here's an article on this topic.

    So, I just want to let all the healthy women here at MDA know that I hope you don't give into these anti-fitness, pro-obesity bullies. You're healthy and have lean bodies, and you have every right to be proud of your beauty. So stand up to the HuffPost bullies.

  • #2
    *Devil's Advocate*

    You can look at it that way. Or you could possibly see how a good number of women might feel constantly belittled, denigrated and made to feel by and large unworthy because they don't measure up to an idealized form of physical attractiveness that they are constantly bombarded with. The message "What's your excuse" could be taken to be inspiring... but it could also be taken to be completely insulting and instantly dismissive of someone's life choices, goals and aspirations. At it's heart, it's a damn arrogant statement, irrespective of how it was intended.

    I don't know enough about the Huffington Post article to comment. Eh. Funny parody shot, though.

    I personally hate the site I'm going to link to, but I think this response makes a lot of sense:

    Dear Maria Kang: I've got a long list of excuses for you.

    No vitriol or reactionary bullshit, but a likably honest account of a fit and healthy lady with kids (who doesn't look like a fitness model, but is still definitely attractive).

    There is a level of legitimate fit shaming that occurs in some sectors, but there's also a definite degree of fat shaming you feel every day if you've ever been there. The reality is people judge. People are assholes. The entire thing seems like a stupid overreaction, but by the same token, I do have some understanding as to why there was such a strong reaction.

    *Note: Mia Freedman shits me to tears. I hate the fact I've linked to her site. I will credit the article's author with doing such an excellent job I was able to get over my revulsion.
    **Double note: The fact two dudes are discussing this is weird as hell. I need to pinch myself.
    Last edited by Reventon; 02-17-2014, 11:24 PM.

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    • #3
      Yeah, well, you can tortuously rationalize it, or you can look at reality:

      A healthy, beautiful mother was relentlessly bullied and censored by Facebook.

      A proudly obese woman was championed and celebrated by the new America.

      It's fine that you're cool with the bullying and censoring, but I'm not, and I'm sure others aren't, either.

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      • #4
        You can't really call it censoring when Facebook is basically a giant online social club filled with shitty advertising, not a legitimate media outlet. Someone's Facebook wall isn't journalism. Deleting an account isn't censorship, it's exclusion from a large social club, with whatever mores it chooses to popularize. In this case, Facebook found her statement unnecessarily polarizing and reacted.

        I don't agree with their decision. So many people say all manner of shitty things on Facebook without reprisal. This is relatively harmless in comparison. But the simple fact is this is a knee jerk reaction to an inflamed response, not true censorship.

        As far as it a fat chicks alternative body image being "championed" by the new America I really think you're taking it a bridge too far or being purposely facetious.

        Having spent a goodly portion of my youth as "the fat kid" I can tell you that no one champions your image when you're fat. That is utter bollocks.

        Accepting people as they are in all their unglamorous chub - I have no problem with that. Accepting responsibility for your own health doesn't give you the right to denigrate or belittle anyone else.

        I've been on both sides of the equation personally in this stake - I've had people cut me down for years with virtually every fat joke you can imagine and felt overwhelmingly insecure and out of place with the projected image I felt I was supposed to look up to. I've now also had people make snide comments that I must be working out too much, tell me not to go too far and generally undermine my pursuit of fitness.

        The simple fact is everyone has their bugbear.

        If the same photo had been accompanied by the caption "Achievable" I can bet you dollars to donuts the reaction would have been very different. "What's your excuse!" isn't an encouraging statement, it comes across as a form of personal criticism, and an exceedingly snide and condescending one at that.

        Make of it what you will.

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        • #5
          1) People are too damn sensitive and are eager to be offended.

          2) It's none of your business what other people do/don't do with their bodies.

          3) It's nobody's business what you do/don't do with your body.

          4) People need to learn to leave each other the hell alone. (A lesson my mother taught my sister and I when we started nosing into each other's business.)

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          • #6
            Well to contribute to both sides of the argument;

            If you have 3 kids under 5 and have time to tan and primp and shave and make up to that level you either have a)incredibly easy kids who all nap at the same time and entertain themselves giving you time to get your shit done b) a Nanny or other childcare or c) you are neglecting your kids.

            Ok so me and the Mrs put our kids first as they are the most important thing in our lives and it is our responsibility to see them raised right, and that means to us giving them our time, lots of time, I know many parents who barely get chance to have a poo in peace let alone have their hair and make-up done.

            On the other hand, if 'society' stop being mean and hateful to those that are obese, accepted that a lot of the 'fault' is a complex mix of lots of factors, where the blame is shared between the food industry, government, medical profession etc.

            No-one wants to get fat, some people seem to be able to eat all the crap in the world and remain skinny. It's really not as simple as eat a little less and move a little more or everyone would do it.

            So is it any wonder that being subject to all that hate, some people stand up and say 'F you' I'm proud to be who I am and wont hide it. They know they are not healthy, we know they are not healthy. they still have the right to live free of persecution and hate though.
            Twerk - where people in Yorkshire go t'earn a crust.

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            • #7
              I found it pretty condescending. I have 1 child. My excuse is that a) I'd rather spend time with him and b) I was very very badly damaged carrying and giving birth to him and will never look like that woman. I'm actually thinner than her, but far less muscular and curvy.
              I don't think 2 bodies ever need to be compared. Both of those women seem happy. Isn't that enough?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by lva View Post
                I found it pretty condescending. I have 1 child. My excuse is that a) I'd rather spend time with him and b) I was very very badly damaged carrying and giving birth to him and will never look like that woman. I'm actually thinner than her, but far less muscular and curvy.
                I don't think 2 bodies ever need to be compared. Both of those women seem happy. Isn't that enough?
                I found it condescending too. I have 3 children each 2 years apart.
                While the weight fell off with the 1st, I had trouble with the next two, number 3 being a c section.
                I also didn't have anyone to watch them, i didn't have a loving, supportive partner, i suffered depression, emotional and mental abuse, a miscarriage, more depression....

                I think I've done awesome only being 10kg overweight and not 25.

                Sent from my HTC_PN071 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

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                • #9
                  I think you've done an amazing job too hannakb.
                  You sound amazingly strong x

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                  • #10
                    Excellent.

                    So it seems the consensus here is that it is okay to bully, censor, and shame a beautiful mother encouraging physical fitness.

                    Simultaneously, it is good that the media is bullying her, while celebrating a demonstratively obese and childless woman.

                    Summation: Fitness and pride is bad, obesity and bullying is good.

                    This is to be expected amongst the dying people of the West.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Reventon View Post
                      You can't really call it censoring when Facebook is basically a giant online social club filled with shitty advertising, not a legitimate media outlet.
                      It is literally textbook definition of "censoring", and therefore it should be called censoring.

                      You want Facebook to censor the healthy and beautiful mother, but you want the censorship to be covered up with a different word. What word?
                      Last edited by DavidBrennan; 02-18-2014, 04:20 AM.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by DavidBrennan View Post
                        It is literally textbook definition of "censoring", and therefore it should be called censoring.

                        What is your synonym for Facebook's censorship and bullying of this beautiful woman, that you prefer? You want Facebook to censor the healthy and beautiful mother, but you want the censorship to be covered up with a different word. What word?
                        I was prepared to play on the basis you might be something other than a troll. Clearly not the case. Well played dipshit.

                        Now go head back under your bridge.

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                        • #13
                          If she was simply saying 'I'm proud of myself' that would be one thing. But what she is saying is 'why don't you look like me?' THAT is bullying.

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                          • #14
                            I think the problem with Kang's was her approach.

                            "what's your excuse?" -- subtext, you are a failure and a problem if you don't look like me.

                            I don't look like her. I also don't have 3 kids (another failure?). I also work (another failure?) rather than having a partner wealthy enough to support me (another failure?) which completely doesn't even recognize that I might *enjoy* the work that I do and the amount of hours that I put into it.

                            So, you know, when I read her message -- as a fit person -- I was like "why would i use your effing ruler/standard?"

                            I had a problem with her "message" too. As a working mom of only one, I should be totally more glamourous and have a totally nicer/fancier house and as fit or more fit than she is. Why aren't i? What's my excuse?

                            Oh, my excuse is -- I don't want to live her life or her way. So, that's my excuse. And i'm *FIT*.

                            Now, on the flip side, I think that attacking people who are thin/fit are also part of the problem. We aren't lucky -- it's a simple process of good food in the proper amounts, adequate movement, and plenty of sleep. Yes, there will be some people who will never get thin by beauty standards, but she can still be fit.

                            We know that's the common knowledge, and we know that the excuses are many. BUT, it's also ok for someone to say "you know what? I'm prioritizing something else." So, their health might get the hit, but the rest of it? eh, whatever.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by lva View Post
                              If she was simply saying 'I'm proud of myself' that would be one thing. But what she is saying is 'why don't you look like me?' THAT is bullying.
                              Totally. I think if she approached at "look what I accomplished in the last year!" then I think everyone would be like "yay, you rule!" But because she didn't -- and instead turned it on everyone else -- that's not cool.

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