Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Importance of Significant Other's Eating Habits?

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Originally posted by Liquid Gusto View Post
    consider someone who eats the food pyramid to a tee, limits processed foods, limits sugar, and truly believes their diet is ideal despite exhibiting medical signs to the contrary (but does not push this diet onto you)[/URL]
    This is my situation right here. It has gotten less annoying over time. I chip away at it little by little on two fronts:
    1. I send along links to interesting articles/studies if they appear in publications that he respects. Additionally I have a friend who can discuss this stuff with me with equal fervor right in front of him, making him seem like he's the one who's not as knowledgeable. Both of these things I do very rarely.
    2. I cook delicious meals that are both low or moderate in fat but highly decadent, such as perfect steaks or simple meals that are light and healthy with steamed veggies. Nothing I make ever swims in bacon fat. I like to declare that this is mediterranean food from <insert some mediterranean region here>.

    The one worry I have is that his clinging to so much bread and processed food with all his complaints about joint pain, brain fog, poop and sleep problems and whatever else, that I'm going to end up with some Alzheimer's riddled old man who shuffles around and needs his butt wiped. I am not up for that, I'm sorry. But I've made a small dent. I haven't seen the pound of M&Ms eaten in a while. I haven't seen the huge bags of Doritos in a long time. He doesn't get mad at me as much when I send a link to something.
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

    Comment


    • #17
      Dealing with this... I'm only 6 months into Primal but it makes so much sense, we are basically a gluten free household. My husband doesn't quite understand my fervor for organic and no refined sugar, but if we go out, he likes to make sure I have options before we go. I just mention often how good I feel. And for dinners he has an option for pasta/tortilla/bread but most times I just don't include it and he doesn't ask. I DID go out of town over Thanksgiving and came back to chips, Poptarts, cheesecrackers, and Nutrigrain bars in the pantry....but he normally doesn't ask for them when I ask what he wants from the store.

      I don't know how I would have dealt with this if we had just started dating. I have concerns for his health but if he doesn't want to read the literature or take an interest in what I'm trying to do, then there's not much I can do other than keep on keepin on, and let him know how bad wheat is for him.

      Comment


      • #18
        I care. I can't help it. I have the best husband in the world, and I don't want to lose him. If I didn't like him so much, maybe I'd care less. I never cared before. Thankfully, I prepare ALL the meals in the house and he LOVES my cooking. I can adapt a low carb Primal meal to him just by adding some rice or potato. He is lean and very leptin sensitive, so he needs to eat more and eat higher carb anyway - but he lets me choose the carbs. He does not need or want wheat or seed oils. Now, he DOES have a sweet tooth, so he has a bit of maple syrup in the fridge and honey in the cupboard, for using with yogurt. I can live with that. If he didn't cut the grains and seed oils completely, it would break my heart.
        5'6" Female, 29 Years Old, 260/195/120

        "Discipline is choosing between what you want NOW, and what you want MOST!"

        Comment


        • #19
          I tend to not be attracted to women that don't care for their bodies.....I don't really care HOW they do it, as most of this will usually come down after some time with me, so long as the strong motivation is there.

          Looks will fade over time. It is inevitable for men or women....but give me someone that works like hell to take care of themselves and you will always have the best catch in the place. A lot of women look good at 21. A woman that works to look good at 41 is the one you want
          "The soul that does not attempt flight; does not notice its chains."

          Comment


          • #20
            My wife was just "along for the ride" at first, we didn't keep gluten etc in the house, and she was okay with that. Now, she is 100% in with me, she lost some weight and feels like a whole new person. so, it works.

            Comment


            • #21
              For me it comes down to being open to new ideas and questioning the status quo. I consider it a must for a long term partner because it extends to every aspect of life, having children, educational philosophy consumption habits, etc. I would never want to be with someone that wasn't open to new ways of looking at things, diet is just one small part.

              Vegan definitely a deal breaker. TBH even vegetarian would be challenging. I went out with one for a while it was no fun.
              Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
                I tend to not be attracted to women that don't care for their bodies.....I don't really care HOW they do it, as most of this will usually come down after some time with me, so long as the strong motivation is there.

                Looks will fade over time. It is inevitable for men or women....but give me someone that works like hell to take care of themselves and you will always have the best catch in the place. A lot of women look good at 21. A woman that works to look good at 41 is the one you want
                This is why I view my weight issues as a blessing, not a curse. Thanks to the magic of Facebook, I happen to know that 75% of the skinny, pretty, cheerleader-type girls I knew got fat over the last 10-15 years. It was so easy for them, they never had to learn. Now that I've got a handle on my diet and the weight is falling off like crazy, I know *I* will be slim and gorgeous well into my 80's. :-)

                My mother in law is in her 70's now (my hubby is the baby, haha) and she looks every bit a picture of health. Sure, she doesn't look 30 (or even 40) but there's NO reason for women to become fat and unkempt as they age. She's my inspiration for that.

                ETA: My mother in law doesn't eat Primal, per se, but she's European and they also spent a lot of time in the Mediterranean so their diet includes a lot of fats, fish, vegetables, potato, etc. She learned to avoid wheat and sweets as a young girl (because over there, they KNOW that is what makes you fat, not the cheese and butter) so all in all she's been living a very Primal life... If a little heavy on the potatoes.
                Last edited by GrokON; 12-13-2013, 10:18 AM.
                5'6" Female, 29 Years Old, 260/195/120

                "Discipline is choosing between what you want NOW, and what you want MOST!"

                Comment


                • #23
                  In the time that I've been primal, I've had two girlfriends that lived with me (I'm a bastared. I know) and neither have been anything like primal. I cook most of the time and I just make slight adjustments for the non-primals now and again. It's really never been a big deal for me.
                  http://www.facebook.com/daemonized

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    have been with my b/f 11 years. i started as lc over 4 years ago and have been lc/primal a bit over 3. since i am the cook, he eats what i eat at meals, but i will often add a starch for him. most often it's rice or potatoes and i will sometimes have a bit of that. we buy local, organic, grass-fed milk, cream and ice cream, local pastured eggs, same meats when we can and shop our farmers' market in summer. we are in new england, so plenty of local fish/shellfish. as my diet cleaned up his did too, by default, lol.

                    last year he FINALLY gave up his beloved cheerios after reading enough about gmo/round-up ready grains. he buys good artisan bread and drinks beer, so has plenty of gluten. although he's active, his body composition has changed since hitting 50, he snores WAY more than he used to and complains about his longer recovery time after a soccer game or skiing or whatever. i try to cajole him about experimenting with excluding gluten, but he won't budge on that.

                    compared to other men his age, he's in good shape and healthy. all his cw markers are good.

                    as somebody else mentioned, if he was sitting on the couch every night stuffing his face full of doritos and outgrowing his clothes, i'd be struggling. i have no desire to have sex with a fatty and i don't wanna be a nurse as we get older.

                    cooking and food are both a very important of my life. i grew up italian-american and meals were the stereotypical big deal. however, for the b/f, both his mother and ex-wife are lousy cooks. he could not have been more thrilled the first time he ate a meal at my house, lol. as we've gone along, my cooking is one of the ways i show that i care about him.

                    successful relationships most often need some matching priorities. if food and activity are big deals for you, being with a cookie-chowing sloth is going to get old really fast.

                    as for vegans and vegetarians? too much of what they do seems to be based on a feeling of ethical superiority. no thanks. go judge somebody else. plus? they're sick all the damn time, lol.
                    As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

                    Ernest Hemingway

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Over the course of our marriage, I have put DH through ultra low fat/Ornish egg whites only in a nonstick pan, the Kashi infatuation of 2002, cabbage soup diets, meatless meals 3x per week, juicing, smoothies, 6 small meals per day, and now over to primal/paleo. Primal/paleo has stuck the longest at about 3 years now.

                      If I had limited diet to one certain ideal at the beginning, not only would I have not chose him, he would not have chosen me! The key thing is willingness to evolve within a relationship, allow the other partner to evolve, and witness how each person can positively impact the other one's health (or not) over time.

                      My DH is about 80% primal. We make the best effort for good food choices. The household is primarily gluten free, and all family meals are GF. DH and DD will have bread occasionally. However, I like not being judged for the occasional 'cheat'. Heck, we were at Costco last week and discovered that the mongo tub of cheese balls are gluten free. Our cart consisted of organic eggs, Kerrygold butter, organic beef, broccoli, green beans, avocadoes, and cheese balls.

                      Permission to evolve is the key.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
                        ...
                        No offense, Lazarus, but it must be really hard for you to find a woman. She has to be beautiful and a pioneer woman. I've met a few pioneer-type women and they weren't beautiful. I've met a few beautiful women and they were afraid to rough it. Both in one package is hard to find.
                        Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                          No offense, Lazarus, but it must be nearly impossible and requiring of monk-like patience as well as Herculean persistence for you to find a woman .
                          There, fixed that for you

                          I think I realized a long time ago that I was very picky with women. A lot of men and women would save themselves a lot of wear and tear by just recognizing that and getting past it.....because in reality, the list is much harder.

                          1) Must be smart and very well-read, but I give nothing of that toward time/money spent on education. I have dated incredibly ignorant lawyers as well as sharp as a tack social workers.
                          2) Like UrbanForager said, must think outside the box and always question everything. Must be immensely curious and always learning.
                          3) Must take very good care of themselves and take pride in it. Body >>>> Face any day for me. Ahahaha
                          4) Be frugal, grateful for what they have, and humble.
                          5) Work for and care about things other than themselves and their own situation. If I can't watch the news or a movie with them and get into an hour-long discussion over what we saw, no thanks.
                          6) Must have an opinion. I don't do meek and mild. This isn't 1950.....my current gf and I bounce stuff off each other all the time. It refines your opinions.
                          7) And yes, they cannot be thrown off by: dirt, guns, cold, compost toilets, dead animals, animal bones in stock pots, dogs, horses, having no neighbors, the woods, gardening, canning, cooking, or actual bear rugs

                          Other than that, I am pretty easy?

                          But keep in mind that my basic stance is that marriage is an anachronism in today's society, and overall sets a VERY high bar for a partner.....so for me, if I DON'T have that, then what is the point? I will end up finding what I really wanted one day anyway, so it may as well be easier for us when we do. Partners are not used cars, where you buy the nicest thing you can still afford. Get what you want or stay a Mustang, is what I say.
                          "The soul that does not attempt flight; does not notice its chains."

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Looks will fade over time. It is inevitable for men or women....but give me someone that works like hell to take care of themselves and you will always have the best catch in the place. A lot of women look good at 21. A woman that works to look good at 41 is the one you want
                            Really sadly, so many people let themselves go at 40, women and men. I went to my annual holiday party and not one of the women looked even remotely healthy. They all looked like hell, and honestly, lacked vigor and energy. People look at me and comment how hard I work out, how carefully I eat and how good I look and miss that it is pretty much inter-mingled.

                            If you like pretty people, you like pretty people. I'm that way. You can't really compromise on looks if you are like that. My SO still looks good- he is really quite handsome. But I'd have a hard time staying in love with someone who "let themselves go". OK, I admit it, if he ballooned up to 300 lbs, I'd leave him.

                            As for diet, I couldn't be with anyone who was preachy about their diet. I could live with a vegan that left me alone. Also if your diet left you unhealthy looking, I'd not be with you.

                            http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                            Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
                              To me, it matters. It matters if the person cares about taking care of themselves, and if they think I'm ridiculous for eating the way I do or have no interest in learning from me, I probably don't see them as a long-term candidate for success. But early in the relationship, I don't care, keep it light, and joke around about it rather than being pushy, and usually they end up coming to me and at least making some adjustments that suit their preferences and beliefs.
                              This. But I wouldn't date (if I was dating again) a vegan or vegetarian. When someone tells me they're a vegetarian I always say "Oh, I'm so sorry." It drives my sister inlaw nuts when I say it because she's a vegetarian.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
                                There, fixed that for you

                                I think I realized a long time ago that I was very picky with women. A lot of men and women would save themselves a lot of wear and tear by just recognizing that and getting past it.....because in reality, the list is much harder.

                                1) Must be smart and very well-read, but I give nothing of that toward time/money spent on education. I have dated incredibly ignorant lawyers as well as sharp as a tack social workers.
                                2) Like UrbanForager said, must think outside the box and always question everything. Must be immensely curious and always learning.
                                3) Must take very good care of themselves and take pride in it. Body >>>> Face any day for me. Ahahaha
                                4) Be frugal, grateful for what they have, and humble.
                                5) Work for and care about things other than themselves and their own situation. If I can't watch the news or a movie with them and get into an hour-long discussion over what we saw, no thanks.
                                6) Must have an opinion. I don't do meek and mild. This isn't 1950.....my current gf and I bounce stuff off each other all the time. It refines your opinions.
                                7) And yes, they cannot be thrown off by: dirt, guns, cold, compost toilets, dead animals, animal bones in stock pots, dogs, horses, having no neighbors, the woods, gardening, canning, cooking, or actual bear rugs

                                Other than that, I am pretty easy?

                                But keep in mind that my basic stance is that marriage is an anachronism in today's society, and overall sets a VERY high bar for a partner.....so for me, if I DON'T have that, then what is the point? I will end up finding what I really wanted one day anyway, so it may as well be easier for us when we do. Partners are not used cars, where you buy the nicest thing you can still afford. Get what you want or stay a Mustang, is what I say.
                                But of course you know, as a doctor, that people who do crazy amounts of activity during the prime of their lives, which includes women who exercise hard several hours a day in order to maintain the appearance of fitness, often end up with overuse injuries and disabilities that permanently knock them off the hamsterwheel. Then what will you do if she can no longer meet your standards?

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X