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Is monogamy worthwhile; is there a point to it?

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  • #61
    Originally posted by Miguelinileugim View Post
    I have a pretty much mixed extreme opinion on this. First I acknowledge that love is way better than sex and that long-term is generally better than short-term.

    On the other hand, I don't believe monogamy is the only way, so I think that as long as it's more about loving more than one individual rather than about having more sex you're good to go.
    I have periods of both. Usually when I'm not in a committed type of thing, I try to get with as many attractive, healthy women as possible, then when I stumble across one I want to be monogamous with for a while, it sort of happens organically. I consider this to be the normal way people operate in 21st Century America. Maybe it's influenced by societal pressures, but it would seem strange to me to do anything else.
    The Champagne of Beards

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    • #62
      It depends on how much money he has. More money=more monoganism.
      As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again.

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      • #63
        Originally posted by Jennifla View Post
        It depends on how much money he has. More money=more monoganism.
        Hate it with a passion, but it's honest.
        The Champagne of Beards

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        • #64
          Oh crap, this whole time I thought your name was RichMonogamy, but that's clearly wrong!

          Sent via F-22 Raptor

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          • #65
            the word rich is in his username?

            i'm suddenly attracted *simper*
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

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            • #66
              Originally posted by Jennifla View Post
              It depends on how much money he has. More money=more monoganism.
              Really??? Wow. I have been doing it wrong then.
              ------
              HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

              My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


              Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

              " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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              • #67
                you really have

                i'm sort of ashamed
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

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                • #68
                  There are strategic reasons for monogamy without a better second option, but I don't really think that's what we're talking about.

                  There are pointless things *about* monogamy (like spending 20k for a wedding ring), but strip it all down, and it's just two people in concert with one another. If you repeat that with one person forever, that's monogamy. If you lived a more varied life, that's polyamory.

                  I would shun the labels and just do whatever your psyche craves. The same goes for sexuality, which is quite meaningless once you abstract it.

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by Gorbag View Post
                    Not to derail this excellent thread, but I heard some rumors today that even the Bulgarian split squat may be better for strength than the back squat;

                    T NATION | Are Bulgarian Squats Superior to Regular Squats?
                    I've been doing those for a long time. Unilateral calisthetics are just about all you need. If you build more muscle mass than what your body can move calisthetically, then you're over the hump of usefulness. The muscle mass becomes a drain on your system until you lose it or can't use it.

                    It's possible that different workout types work better for different athletes. Calithetics work better if you have good enough body mass to use as resistance. If you are starting out skinny, then maybe a weight vest will make the difference. If not, you could try Olympic weights too. But realistically, if you're starting skinny and can't gain just from adding a weight vest, maybe it's better for your body to just be skinny.
                    Last edited by wiltondeportes; 09-20-2013, 01:17 AM.

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                    • #70
                      Reading the OP, I'd say that if something is no big deal for you, then it's no big deal for you. And if something is a big deal for you, then it is.

                      I, personally, enjoy monogamy with my husband, whom I met when I was 20. I'm 37 now. So, that's a decent run.

                      I also think that, so long as we were honest and upfront about it, we could have an open relationship if we both wished. But, we're mostly so busy and ambitious and stuff (with our work), and busy with our kiddo -- that the thought of trying to foster another relationship of this sort is a bit overwhelming. But I know folks who do it, so, you know, good on them and stuff. No judgment from me.

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                      • #71
                        Monogamy makes sense from an evolutionary point of view to limit sexually transmitted diseases. STDs can cause infertility and/or birth defects. Pass that around and in a generation or two, your tribe is extinct, and so is the tribe that "shared" the STD with you.

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                        • #72
                          It's worth it if you're at a point in your life when you're ready to settle down, and won't resent the freedoms you give up to make it work. And of course if you have found the right other half, that goes without saying. I've been with my husband for almost 7 years now (married for almost 5) and I'm very happy. The reality is that if you drop the person you're with every time you can score someone "better", then the same will happen to you as soon as you hit a low point. Maybe you get seriously injured or suffer a major financial setback or something along those lines. If you're committed, your partner is there for you because s/he is looking at things in the long term. Or at least that's how it works for us. I love my husband. I'm not out looking for someone incrementally better ... even when he does things that irritate me!

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by KimInGA View Post
                            It's worth it if you're at a point in your life when you're ready to settle down, and won't resent the freedoms you give up to make it work. And of course if you have found the right other half, that goes without saying. I've been with my husband for almost 7 years now (married for almost 5) and I'm very happy. The reality is that if you drop the person you're with every time you can score someone "better", then the same will happen to you as soon as you hit a low point. Maybe you get seriously injured or suffer a major financial setback or something along those lines. If you're committed, your partner is there for you because s/he is looking at things in the long term. Or at least that's how it works for us. I love my husband. I'm not out looking for someone incrementally better ... even when he does things that irritate me!
                            I don't approach weaknesses in monogamy from a value perspective. I just think variety is spicier.

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                            • #74
                              This answers the original question better than I can:
                              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNfvuJr9164

                              I have been married for 36 years now; we are monogamous, and I can't imagine doing things any differently. If he is the one to pass first, I can't imagine being with anyone else. DH and I have built a life together.
                              Ruth

                              See my journal, The Balancing Act: Integrating Primal into My Life, for menu plans, musings, and more.

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