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  • Originally posted by Rojo View Post
    I recommend not tying your mood to the Lions.

    Maybe the Tigers or Redwings.
    I blame my entire emotionally challenged past on being raised, from birth, as a Lion's fan.

    http://youtu.be/tfW7YzBonsM

    http://youtu.be/9FJoRxT6B5g

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    • So, what makes you anxious or what are you thinking about when you're anxious? That is what a therapist is going to ask you. Every make a worry list or a worry box? Write down what you think about that makes you feel anxious. Sometimes my brain gets into one of those loops because I'm afraid I'll forget something important.... kind of like long term test anxiety.

      What do you do to build confidence? Success builds confidence, failure builds character. What are you good at? Get better at it and the confidence you build will help silence the anxiety. That is why exercise is important, other than endorphins, is because it generates confidence and positive self image.

      If you don't want to get better and/or you don't believe you deserve to get better, you won't. That, coupled with my fear of failure, has been my biggest hurdle.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Maynard View Post
        So, what makes you anxious or what are you thinking about when you're anxious? That is what a therapist is going to ask you. Every make a worry list or a worry box? Write down what you think about that makes you feel anxious. Sometimes my brain gets into one of those loops because I'm afraid I'll forget something important.... kind of like long term test anxiety.

        What do you do to build confidence? Success builds confidence, failure builds character. What are you good at? Get better at it and the confidence you build will help silence the anxiety. That is why exercise is important, other than endorphins, is because it generates confidence and positive self image.

        If you don't want to get better and/or you don't believe you deserve to get better, you won't. That, coupled with my fear of failure, has been my biggest hurdle.
        The majority of my anxiety is at work. This job and my old job. I liked my old job very much and was there for 10 years. I left for a position that was a regular 8:30-5, better insurance, retirement plan, and better pay. I get pretty anxious at work. I've been there for almost a year and have made many friends there and love my job. I don't know why I get anxious there, but I do. I am comfortable with everyone... I just don't know. I am not usually anxious in social situations with friends, or even new people.

        Failure has definitely built my character. Most of it was brought on by my own poor choices, but overcoming these things has made me feel good about myself.

        I'm not good at anything. Well... I should say I'm not great at anything. I'm decent at most things, but don't excel at anything. I have never had a natural desire to do anything, no passion. I have taken aptitude tests and I am "good enough" to do anything, but have no real preference for anything in particular.

        I remember my two best friends and I were talking about something called "common carriers" things that acquaintances and strangers use to connect. We went over it and over it and really I had none, yet I usually make friends very easily and socialize comfortably... I don't always prefer to socialize, but I do pretty well at it. My family members are all very talented, natural musicians, artists, designers, photographers, etc... I'm just not. They told me that my gift was being a life force, lol. That I am funny. Many people have told me that I am one of the funniest people they know. I don't see it, but that's my only "talent". I'm just honest... to a fault sometimes.

        I truly don't know what causes my anxiety... I hope I will find out with some help. What other kind of things will they ask?

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Jena View Post
          The majority of my anxiety is at work. This job and my old job. I liked my old job very much and was there for 10 years. I left for a position that was a regular 8:30-5, better insurance, retirement plan, and better pay. I get pretty anxious at work. I've been there for almost a year and have made many friends there and love my job. I don't know why I get anxious there, but I do. I am comfortable with everyone... I just don't know. I am not usually anxious in social situations with friends, or even new people.

          Failure has definitely built my character. Most of it was brought on by my own poor choices, but overcoming these things has made me feel good about myself.

          I'm not good at anything. Well... I should say I'm not great at anything. I'm decent at most things, but don't excel at anything. I have never had a natural desire to do anything, no passion. I have taken aptitude tests and I am "good enough" to do anything, but have no real preference for anything in particular.

          I remember my two best friends and I were talking about something called "common carriers" things that acquaintances and strangers use to connect. We went over it and over it and really I had none, yet I usually make friends very easily and socialize comfortably... I don't always prefer to socialize, but I do pretty well at it. My family members are all very talented, natural musicians, artists, designers, photographers, etc... I'm just not. They told me that my gift was being a life force, lol. That I am funny. Many people have told me that I am one of the funniest people they know. I don't see it, but that's my only "talent". I'm just honest... to a fault sometimes.

          I truly don't know what causes my anxiety... I hope I will find out with some help. What other kind of things will they ask?
          Depends on the therapist. Most are useless academics. The good ones will call you on your bullshit and make you laugh too.

          You still didn't answer my question.

          What do you think about when you're anxious? You said work is a trigger, but you didn't say what you think about.

          What do you do for fun? This was another very important question that was asked of me. You don't have to be good or great at anything, you just have to do what you enjoy and try to improve.

          Whenever I am super down in the dumps, I remember something my Day told me. He was taking CPR training at work. They had a dummy they practiced on and many of the students were scared they'd hurt the dummy. My dad said that it seemed stupid that you could hurt someone that was already dead. Anything you did would have to be an improvement. So for me, when all seems hopeless, I do the thing that I'm most scared of or take a chance on something, because I've got nowhere else to go but up. Does that make sense?

          BTW, like the new pic. You are super cute.

          You should take a trip Up North and connect with nature. That seems to make you happy. Ever been to Traverse or Makinac? Port Austin is nice as well.

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          • When I am in the throws of an anxiety attack I mostly think about how to not appear to my co-workers that I'm freaking out. I think about how I will live the rest of my life with this anxiety. I think, what if I just had a stroke or a seizure right here in the office. What if I really lose it and left work and had no income. I don't know what I'd do. I think about how I have felt like I've been hanging on by a thread for years and am terrified about that thread snapping.

            In a non panicked state I know that I will be okay. I am strong and smart and even if I am on my own forever I will always get by. I don't really do anything for fun. I sit around my apartment and sip wine and laugh with my best friend. I hang out with the little girl I babysit. She's 7 and I've babysat her since she was 8 months old. I read sometimes. I like Palahniuk lately. I like to watch crime shows like SVU, Criminal Minds, etc... obsessed with Breaking Bad.

            I would love to go North for a trip. I have lived in MI my whole life (minus a year in the Chicago burbs) and have never been to the UP, or even north of Grand Rapids. Shit... I've never been camping, lol.

            I wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I could do anything I suppose. I could be a doctor, a lawyer... I just don't want to. I am paranoid about the government, the medical field, the "system" in general. I feel like I don't have a home. I have my parents house... which I feel very welcome at, I have my apartment, which I love, but I have never had a place where I really felt that sense of "home". I don't understand what people mean when they say they feel at home. More than anything I want to have a partner in life. Someone to spend my life with. I guess that sounds weak and anti feminist, but it's the truth.

            I feel lost sometimes, but I think, I hope I will figure it all out. I'm incredibly neurotic and can be self involved, but I think, I hope, that I'm a good person. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era... I would've made a great hippie, lol. And tha I you... it's nice to be told you're pretty

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Jena View Post
              When I am in the throws of an anxiety attack I mostly think about how to not appear to my co-workers that I'm freaking out. I think about how I will live the rest of my life with this anxiety. I think, what if I just had a stroke or a seizure right here in the office. What if I really lose it and left work and had no income. I don't know what I'd do. I think about how I have felt like I've been hanging on by a thread for years and am terrified about that thread snapping.
              I recommend Help and Hope for Your Nerves by Clare Weeks. It's an old book, but that's testament to it's usefullness. It's a slim book that takes you clinically through panic (basically it's fight-or-flight sending a bunch of signals to your body). I had panic attacks from junion high until I was about your age. I don't want to say I "outgrew" them. That implies they stem from immaturity, which they don't. But I did stop having them. 99 problems but panic ain't one.



              I like to watch crime shows like SVU, Criminal Minds, etc... obsessed with Breaking Bad.
              Somewhere in another dimension Olivia Benson is my lover.



              More than anything I want to have a partner in life. Someone to spend my life with. I guess that sounds weak and anti feminist, but it's the truth.
              I consider myself a feminist but I hate the dogma that says to be one you have to be uber-independent without a moment of vulnerability.

              Another thing to think about: you might be an HSP -- a Highly Sensitive Person. You can take the test here:

              Self Test

              I scored 26 of 27. The hypothesis is that about 15-20% of babies are born very sensitive to stimuli and get overaroused very easily. This can lead to problems growing up, being different from everyone else, in a world that values extraversion and stimilus. Two-thirds of HSP's are introverts (the reverse of the general population). But not all HSP's are introverts and not all introverts are HSP's.

              The psychologist Elaine Aron has pioneered the concept. I'm reading Aron's book right now and having a lot of "ah-ha" moments. Not all of them good. I really don't want to be a hot-house flower but I can also stop beating myself up for not being something I'm not.

              Comment


              • Interesting.

                I checked 15 of them, and according to this test I am also a highly-sensitive-person. How come this diagnosis is not followed on the test page with some kind of information about wtf that means...?
                "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

                Jack london, "Before Adam"

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                • I got marked 20 of them... what does this mean?

                  Comment


                  • Also... I would not call myself an introvert. And while I love and "fit in" with my friends, I do feel that I am different from them, always have. But I'm okay with that

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Jena View Post
                      Also... I would not call myself an introvert. And while I love and "fit in" with my friends, I do feel that I am different from them, always have. But I'm okay with that
                      20 is pretty high. Introvert/Extravert comes from Jung. It simply means the way you process the world. In practical terms an introvert gets their battery charged with alone time and extraverts with others. I'm a social person, but I also need to get "charged" up alone.

                      And you can be HSP and Extraverted. What does it all mean? I don't know quite yet. I'm in the middle of Aron's book. But one thing's become clear is that I was often trying to be something I'm not. And then beating myself over the poor job I was doing.

                      The million dollar question is what do you accept and what do you try to change.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Rojo View Post
                        20 is pretty high. Introvert/Extravert comes from Jung. It simply means the way you process the world. In practical terms an introvert gets their battery charged with alone time and extraverts with others. I'm a social person, but I also need to get "charged" up alone.

                        And you can be HSP and Extraverted. What does it all mean? I don't know quite yet. I'm in the middle of Aron's book. But one thing's become clear is that I was often trying to be something I'm not. And then beating myself over the poor job I was doing.

                        The million dollar question is what do you accept and what do you try to change.
                        I have taken the Briggs-Myers before, or at least a test based on that one. I can't remember what my results were. A friend of mine recently told me to take it. I plan on doing so.

                        I spent years trying to be something I'm not. I'm done with that. I accept that I am, and always have been a sensitive neurotic person. I do not accept and am changing that I have also been a self involved, co-dependent, excuse making, fearful child.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Jena View Post
                          I do not accept and am changing that I have also been a self involved, co-dependent, excuse making, fearful child.
                          It's okay to have an inner child as long as one also has an inner (loving and competent) parent. It sounds like you're really investing in taking good care of yourself, which is fantastic. Well done, it's not always easy (I know). *hugs*
                          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Rojo View Post
                            I recommend Help and Hope for Your Nerves by Clare Weeks. It's an old book, but that's testament to it's usefullness. It's a slim book that takes you clinically through panic (basically it's fight-or-flight sending a bunch of signals to your body). I had panic attacks from junion high until I was about your age. I don't want to say I "outgrew" them. That implies they stem from immaturity, which they don't. But I did stop having them. 99 problems but panic ain't one.





                            Somewhere in another dimension Olivia Benson is my lover.





                            I consider myself a feminist but I hate the dogma that says to be one you have to be uber-independent without a moment of vulnerability.

                            Another thing to think about: you might be an HSP -- a Highly Sensitive Person. You can take the test here:

                            Self Test

                            I scored 26 of 27. The hypothesis is that about 15-20% of babies are born very sensitive to stimuli and get overaroused very easily. This can lead to problems growing up, being different from everyone else, in a world that values extraversion and stimilus. Two-thirds of HSP's are introverts (the reverse of the general population). But not all HSP's are introverts and not all introverts are HSP's.

                            The psychologist Elaine Aron has pioneered the concept. I'm reading Aron's book right now and having a lot of "ah-ha" moments. Not all of them good. I really don't want to be a hot-house flower but I can also stop beating myself up for not being something I'm not.
                            Have you been tested for fragile x?
                            It's where there is a mutation in the x chromosome (something is replicated to many times). It sounds very similar to HSP. It's of course a newly found disorder (1990s) most people were diagnosed before as ASD high functioning, depression, stress, anything they may have marginally fitted into

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
                              Interesting.

                              I checked 15 of them, and according to this test I am also a highly-sensitive-person. How come this diagnosis is not followed on the test page with some kind of information about wtf that means...?
                              It means you need to clear your inbox so we can discuss our secret club further

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Jena View Post
                                I'm done with that. I accept that I am, and always have been a sensitive neurotic person. I do not accept and am changing that I have also been a self involved, co-dependent, excuse making, fearful child.
                                I don't know that you have to accept that your "neurotic". If you are HSP, then you can simply see yourself as someone with very high awareness. This is a trait and not necessarily a disorder. It can become a disorder if you let it.

                                Also that last part is still too harsh. For years I chased the phantom of "discipline". I'd steel my resolve, make to-do lists, new regimins, etc... only too find I was the same mess a two weeks later. When I hit 40 I finally realized this wasn't working. I started to work on myself on a much deeper level. I switched from the "what" (job, exercise, women, whatever) to the "why". Karl Jung was a big eye-opener for me. It gave my life a spiritual dimension. I'm still an atheist but I now realize the awesome force of the human mind.

                                We all have an ego that thinks it's in charge. It churns out thoughts all the time. We start to believe these thoughts and believe that we are these thoughts. But we aren't. There's an unconscious mind that's the iceberg of "you" below the water's surface.

                                My boss is a dick. He micromanages everything. The frustrating part is that we have a lot of talented people at my work. We could accomplish way more if he would just get out of the way -- if he just functioned like an executive should -- making decisions and keep an eye on the larger picture. Despite his micromanagement, things get away from his grasp, because he's so busy sticking his nose in everyone's business that he loses track of important stuff.

                                My ego is also a dick. It believes that it can manage something much larger than itself (the unconscious) with analysis, discipline and thinking. Now, instead of "thinking things through", I'm learning to just stop. To trust my body, instincts and intuition. Therein lies my wisdom. My ego? Pretty good at crossword puzzles.

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