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New baby destroying my sleep, suggestions?

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  • New baby destroying my sleep, suggestions?

    Heya, well 7 months in and this new parasite is destroying my sleep and my sanity and any hopes it seems of weight loss. We co-sleep and my wife is breast feeding so the kid is staying in our room.

    I dont sleep well, she often does not even start to think about sleeping before midnight, kicks in her sleep and keeps waking me up or prevents me falling asleep at all which leaves me feeling angry, tired and frustrated.

    In the middle of the night I find my mind races as I get more frustrated and I cant stop it from revisiting every dumb thing I ever did, every single time anyone has pissed me off and everything I resent about the wife and baby..... all at 2 am.

    I am beginning to feel like I am going to loose my mind if this keeps up and I dont know what to do. On top of which I have started having to go pee 3 times a night no matter what I do.

    Suggestions are welcome, somebody tell me how to fix this short of duct taping the parasite to a hanger and leaving her in the front closet.
    Primal since April 2012 Male 6' 3" SW 345lbs CW 240lbs GW 220lbs and when I get there I am getting a utlikilt. This one actually.

    Join me at, where all the cavemen hang out.

  • #2
    Could you sleep somewhere else? Babies wake during the night-it's normal and by co-sleeping you probably get woken less than if your wife had to get up every time baby wakes.


    • #3
      No room to sleep elsewhere unforkunately. My teen son is sleeping in the other bed. I am thinking magnesium citrate as a supplement to at least let me relax enough to shut down.
      Primal since April 2012 Male 6' 3" SW 345lbs CW 240lbs GW 220lbs and when I get there I am getting a utlikilt. This one actually.

      Join me at, where all the cavemen hang out.


      • #4
        Get an air mattress for your bedroom. They are comfortable. I feel sorry for the baby, it's not her fault; she's an infant.
        | My (food) Blog | Follow me on Facebook | Pinterest | Twitter |

        It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men. - Samuel Adams


        • #5
          You really need to find somewhere else to sleep. On the couch? On the floor (air mattress) in the living room? Where will the baby sleep when she's older? How long will she stay in your bed? You need to get your sleep.

          We did co-sleeping/with breastfeeding for our kids and my husband was sleeping in the living room on occasions, when he had a few bad nights in a row then come back and be ok for a while.

          You appear to be at the end of your rope, wich is very understandable with a baby and no sleep and you absolutely need to change something. Having those toughts at 2 am is not good for your relationship/family.

          Can't you use a small crip (Mose basquet) right next to your bed? If the baby is not between you two, you will not get kicked. We did a small crib at first, then we put our mattress directly on the floor and our kids were sleeping on one side, I was in the middle and my husband on the other side. There was no danger for the baby to fall since the matress was on the floor. We put the bed back together when the kids were out of it.

          Hope you can find something that works!

          Good luck, it won't last forever, she'll get big before you know it.
          Paleo since April 2013 for health reasons.


          • #6
            +1 on sleeping elsewhere. The couch, presumably, since you said your other child occupies the other bedroom.

            And- if there's any possibility of your wife pumping and storing milk maybe offer to alternate with her. I can only imagine she's in a similar boat. If you think she might appreciate that. Not ideal for either of you but better to sleep well every other night than not at all.
            High Weight: 225
            Weight at start of Primal: 189
            Current Weight: 174
            Goal Weight: 130

            Primal Start Date: 11/26/2012


            • #7
              Eh, I've raised 2 sons with one more due next month. The wife breastfed quite frequently in bed obviously but we worked out a certain method where she'd leave the room to feed/fuss over them and I'd up sticks so she could lay in as needed for sanity reasons. Plus this is a really good time to start drinking more.

              There ain't no easy way around this but the good news is that the chronic sleeploss will make you forget how terrible it was at times. Hell, in 6 month's time you'll be offended at the notion that your kid was ever a handful at that age.


              • #8
                Do you already wear earplugs and a face mask? If not, I'd try them. I also second sleeping on the couch or living room floor. That way, you can go to bed earlier--just kick everyone out of the living room. Turn on a fan, too, for white noise.

                Here's a video for you:

                Remember that it's natural to get annoyed with kids and it doesn't make you evil. You just have to be able to laugh about the situation or you'll go insane (said as someone who has taught preschoolers and toddlers for 6 years, and will have her own crying baby in about a month!)


                • #9
                  Honestly if you are at that much at the end of your rope you need to sit down with your wife and talk about possible solutions. When mine were small I did use a moses basket by the bed, so I could just reach over and pick them up or pat them if they were disturbed, but I did get them in their own rooms as soon as they started to be able to go more through the night without needing a feed. No way it was anything like 7months though, more like 7 weeks. It was a long time ago so I am sure my memory of it is going to be a bit off. Co sleeping is all and well if everyone is happy with it, but needs to be worked out somewhat if not. I would be a pretty nasty person, and a zombie if I didn't get my sleep.
                  Started Primal June 2012 at 148.5lbs, and 5' 1", reached goal weight in 5 months.
                  Lowest weight 93lbs - too thin. Now stable at around 100lbs much better weight for me at my age.
                  Primal, minus eggs, dairy and a myriad of other allergens.


                  • #10
                    7 months seems like a long time to be co sleeping, let alone breast feeding, but that's just my opinion. If it were my baby, it would at the very least have it's own crib, likely it's own room, at this age. And probably would have the baby eating solids, maybe I would still breastfeed, I don't know, but I don't think a 7 month old needs boob milk twice a night. But that's just my opinion.

                    Clearly it is making you miserable, so I suggest either get a larger bed (if you're not already in a king) or go sleep on the couch. Or the floor. Or a motel. Worst comes the worst, get the teenage son on the couch in exchange for some extra allowance $$, so you can have his bed. You can't be nice to anyone else if you're miserable, and this is making you miserable, and I don't blame you.

                    But when it all comes down to it, you need to talk to your wife in a non-confrontational way about this. 7 months is a LONG time to get no sleep, and I don't care how heavy a sleeper you are, a baby kicking you constantly will make for a bad night. 7 months, and the bed will only get smaller, as the baby gets bigger.
                    Stumbled into Primal due to food allergies, and subsequent elimination of non-primal foods.

                    Start Gluten-Free/Soy-Free: December 2012; start weight 158lbs, Ladies size 6
                    Start Primal: March 2013, start weight 150lbs, Ladies size 6
                    Current: 132lbs, Ladies size 2

                    26lbs lost since cutting the crap.


                    • #11
                      Based on my experience, I'm having a hard time understanding why this is so hard on the dad.

                      With our first, he was in a cradle next to our bed and then moved into a crib in another room as soon as he was sleeping through the night. Once he was out of the crib and into a toddler bed, he was in our bed from 3am on, until his sister was born when he was 7. The sleeping arrangement was always kid, mom, dad. Dad was blissfully unaware there was another body in the bed, despite it being a double.

                      With our 2nd, she was in our bed (king-sized) from the get-go. The arrangement was baby bed rail, baby, mom, dad, 7yo brother most nights. Mom staked out enough real estate to give baby plenty of breathing room. She nursed unresticted until 18 mos, cut off at night until 2 and then cut off altogether when I had to go on antibiotic for Lyme disease, but still was in our bed until we bribed her with a princess bed at age 5. I found nursing while co-sleeping 1000x easier than having the baby arm's reach away and DH was generally oblivious.

                      Are you disturbed because you're a super light sleeper or because feeding is a huge production? For a dad to complain is so far outside my personal experience of small babies, that I'm not sure where to even begin.
                      50yo, 5'3"
                      CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
                      GW- Goals are no longer weight-related


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by kathleen View Post
                        7 months seems like a long time to be co sleeping, let alone breast feeding, but that's just my opinion. If it were my baby, it would at the very least have it's own crib, likely it's own room, at this age. And probably would have the baby eating solids, maybe I would still breastfeed, I don't know, but I don't think a 7 month old needs boob milk twice a night. But that's just my opinion.
                        My kid is 26 months and we still co-sleep. I would never put her in a room by herself until she's ready. But that's just me.

                        To the OP:
                        Co-sleeping makes breastfeeding so much easier for the mother. The best way to get sleep is just sleep in another room or the living room. That's what my husband does. Lets me breastfeed in peace, he gets his sleep, all 3 of us are happy.


                        • #13
                          I agree with others... Even sleeping on the floor in another room is better than your current arrangement!

                          My babies were all in a crib in our room until about 6 months when they were moved into their own room in a bigger cot.

                          I can't imagine trying to share a bed with an infant! For starters it would make me paranoid about suffocating them, and also it would take up more room. But I don't think it's a problem when people do... Except when they get no sleep!! Geez I find it hard enough to sleep with my husband as I'm such a light sleeper! If I could, I'd totally have my own room!


                          • #14
                            Personally I'd be pushing for the kid to be transitioned to a crib at this point, but that's obviously something you and your wife have to figure out. We didn't co-sleep, but at 2 months I was pushing for him to be transitioned out of our room and into the nursery we spent so much money on. I'd also check with your ped., but at 7 months I'm pretty sure you don't have to do a night feeding anymore, just more volume during the other feedings (particularly the one before and after bed). I think we stopped the night feeding around 4 months, and my coworker (who has a 5 month old) has also stopped night feedings. So breast feeding doesn't have to be a factor in this decision unless you and your wife aren't comfortable with stopping the night feeding for some reason.

                            Anyway, I gained 20 lbs over the 7 months of restless sleep (and limited gym time, and eating like crap), but have managed to lose it fairly quickly thanks in part to primal eating. I'm sure no matter how you approach things with your sleep, you'll be back on track in a matter of months. Good luck to you, and congrats on the child.


                            • #15
                              My eldest is eleven and hasn't slept through the night yet.

                              For those that said "it'll get better", THEY LIED!

                              Not trying to give you hopes of doom, I'm just saying.

                              Also, if co-sleeping keeps the baby sleeping longer and less
                              wake ups, do it until they move out.