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Weekends are killing my attempts at progress!

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  • #31
    Thanks for the advice guys! I know that during the week I have all the resolve in the whole world. Once my honey gets home, I start to rationalize, "I've been so good, this one glass of wine won't hurt. I've been really good." But then as we all know, the glass of wine turns to two, that turns to a piece of cheesecake, which turns into a donut on Saturday morning... without me really thinking about it. Someone pointed out that a person having only 30 lbs to lose like myself is probably not struggling with a hardcore food addiction. And I'm not. I am like many people who just wants to look good in my old jeans and eat healthier. But sometimes your husband brings donuts home. Sometimes you drink a glass of wine. Sometimes your will power that you've had all week goes out the window because you're so damn happy to see your SO, who you haven't seen in 5 days, and you want to share some tastiness. I'm not condoning this at all. Just explaining what goes on in my head. But I just need to readjust my thoughts to say, "Wouldn't I rather look good at the end of the year instead of enjoying things now that slow me down?" That's all. I need to learn how to say no to temptation, which is everywhere. Not just at home. It's at Chick-fil-a when I drive by, its at the grocery store when I see the bakery, its at my sister's house when she has cookies made and my sweet nieces offer me one. We all have to learn how to deal with what is shoved in our face, even by the most innocent of sources.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by lea View Post
      Absolutely!

      To the OP, have you tried having one or two bites of whatever it is you want and then moving on? Willpower is finite. Maybe try giving up one thing at a time. (like, start with wheat or donuts or cokes or whatever you want to focus and once you've kicked that, move on to something else).
      You want her to go back to eating wheat so she can give it up?

      I personally think her husband is probably a nice guy who would want to help her if he realized she was having trouble, not a dick who is doing it because he thinks it will make her stronger to have to live through difficult situations.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
        You want her to go back to eating wheat so she can give it up?.
        Not necessarily wheat, but a little treat. Have a planned glass of wine and split cheesecake after diner with the hubby (which may mean take a bite or two and let him finish) or maybe get chocolate moose with no wheat and then be done with your indulgence. Or make it for home so you can control the ingredients.
        Last edited by lea; 08-14-2013, 07:27 AM.

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        • #34
          One good thing that comes from avoiding as food, as you start treating it as a non-food item. I know that I don't even view donuts as food, and on a funnier level, I can't seem to start eating beans because of the same thing. It's similar to a food that other culture enjoys but you have never tried and have a bit of a problem eating, so you do not experience the desire to eat it when you see it.

          I grew up away from the sea, so trying shellfish like raw oysters takes a conscious effort.

          I was surprised that you can condition yourself to see the food you have always eaten that way. But I remember actually seeing those self-hypnotic technique in the I Can make You Thin that operated on a similar principal, only more like a sharp intervention (rather than gradual process), making a mind to despise a certain food that is your trigger food.

          EDIT: Also a way to minimize damage is to ask your partner (or to cook) sweets you do not like. I kept making chocolate treats for a while and even learned to make brownies because I don't like them, but absolutely everyone else seem to love chocolate. That's everyone but I.
          Last edited by Leida; 08-14-2013, 07:31 AM.
          My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
          When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Leida View Post
            EDIT: Also a way to minimize damage is to ask your partner (or to cook) sweets you do not like. I kept making chocolate treats for a while and even learned to make brownies because I don't like them, but absolutely everyone else seem to love chocolate. That's everyone but I.
            For me that would be stuff like pecan pie and banana pudding. Meh.

            When I was starting to try primal I actually made tiny little chocolate pots de creme as a treat - they have some sugar but its basically very dark chocolate egg yolks and creme. And a bite or two is satisfying. I think it helped me transition oddly enough. But my diet is far from perfect.

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            • #36
              Heh, I once made avocado-chocolate mousse everyone was raving about. Gotta say that half a teaspoon was enough....
              My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
              When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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              • #37
                I need to learn how to say no to temptation, which is everywhere.
                It gets easier. I passed on a chocolate croissant to my hubby yesterday and threw a gingerbread cookie in the trash discretely. And yup, you'll mess up and sometimes it's worth it, sometimes it is not.

                http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                • #38
                  Hi Jilly

                  I was thinking about it, one thing that has helped me has been to keep on reading about health issues. Mark's postings every day are great (I am actually embarrassed for Mark when I read some of the shit on the forums). I found the introduction to Nourishing Traditions amazing. I've read Primal Body Primal Mind. I want to read Catherine Shanahan's Deep Nutrition. Keep in mind that sugar is aging (I find that very motivating!). I found the more I read, the more the choices become natural and you should use this time while your husband is away to think about when you do not eat so well (mine are boredom and 'I deserve it') and get your cooking organized, so you have lots of yummy dishes for him on hi return. I really enjoy wellnessmama and healthyhomeeconomist on my facebook feed.

                  Also take the time, honestly husbands can be huge time suckers, to study the reaction you have to certain foods. I love bananas but they do not fill me up, so now they are treat. Watermelon, bring it on!
                  Life. Be in it.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by eKatherine View Post

                    Does being "good" during the week mean you have restricted yourself so much that a nutritional binge is inevitable? Maybe you could let up a little during the week if that is the case.
                    I have the same problem, and I'm finding that this is absolutely the case for me. Also, the sense of freedom/release/reward that is inherent to a weekend compounds it.

                    Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
                    It's much easier to eat only what you need when you aren't drinking.
                    Oh man....Yes. I'm an all or nothing, feast or famine type. For me, "just say no" is a mantra for success. Refusing the taste or the glass of wine is key to staying on plan.

                    As far as advice, I think talking to DH about your goals would be great. You'll feel better, but take care to not make it his responsibility alone. Other than that, plan and plan and just say NO!

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                    • #40
                      Magnolia1973
                      Rock on! I like the way you think. Personal responsibility is in short supply these days. Seems like everyone wants to blame someone or something else for they're own choices. The OP needs to understand that she made the choice to eat the way she does, her husband did not. What he chooses to eat is his choice. He isn't forcing her to eat anything, if she eats donuts it's on her not him.

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                      • #41
                        I love all the positive ideas! And yesssssss I definitely agree that if I eat a donut, no one had a gun to my head. It's totally my fault. But I explained to my husband yesterday when he got home how important it is to me that I keep on track of my diet, and when he brings bad things to the house, it just makes it harder than it needs to be. But I'm so proud of myself for what happened when we went out to eat. We shared an appetizer of a grilled artichoke and a creamy dip, shared a grilled steak and green beans, and I had one glass of red wine. We went to Cheesecake Factory (because that's his cheat dessert for the week, I can't take it away from him lol) and I wasn't going to get anything but I ended up getting their low carb original. When we got home, we had our dessert and I just took a few bites. I read online that even though they use Splenda, they also put sugar alcohol in it so I didn't want an upset tummy. When I woke up this morning, I was down half a pound from two days ago! That was all the reassurance I needed that I CAN have a good time and still keep my diet on plan. I've always known its possible, but I've been scared to try. Now I feel so good that I stuck to my guns even when I wanted 2 margaritas and a full sugar piece of cheesecake. Would not have been worth it! Thanks for all the support, I enjoy all the comments, good and bad.

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                        • #42
                          I'm a little late to the party, but when I read your original post I wanted to sympathize a little. My husband travels for his job, mostly to remote areas with little cell phone reception ( wild land firefighting) sometimes for 2-3 weeks at a time. I had been on point diet wise for many months consecutively until we moved during a time he was gone for 3 weeks. The stress got to me and caused some faltering (compounded by a death close to our family) but I mostly stayed my course. Until I was with him again. Then I found myself eating things with him that I previously had no trouble avoiding (i.e. gluten free beers, corn tortillas, beans, rice crackers and hummus). It was a very basic and long ago ingrained "comfort food=love" mentality, which I fault no one nor myself for slipping into during times of stress. Being seperated from your partner during the week does cause some stress, and following a strict diet while he is away may bring a sense of control and calm. The excitement of the weekends together can easily trigger the deeply ingrained notion that certain foods = celebration and relaxation. I don't find it surprising, alarming or even very concerning that your diet was falling apart. Seems really normal a phase to me. With awareness it's possible to move past it though, which by the sound of your last post, you have.

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                          • #43
                            You need to look at it differently, sugar and carbs are addictive. They ping that pleasure center of the brain like Cocaine and heroin. We are all pretty much recovering sugar addicts. No one would ever tell an alcoholic that its ok on the weekends to "splurge" at the bar, so long as they get right back on tract the next day. In fact, your friends and family would not only not take you to the bar they would actively prevent you from going. If you had a drinking problem your husband would not take you out for drinks and he likely would not bring alcohol into the house while you were trying to get your impulses under control.
                            It's also a good reason to say "none for me thanks, I'm a sugar addict in recovery. If I was an alcoholic you would not be pushing me to have "just one drink", the problem with me is once I start I can't stop. Please respect that."

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by Leida View Post
                              No, I am all about organic vanilla beans and cream and stuff, but it's still sweets. The problem is that I do know how to make all these tasty but not good for you things. It's like being a wizard and know dark arts, and then someone comes over and asks for a bit of a curse to be placed... wouldn't you say you can't do it?
                              Haha, I like that. I feel like that too - I make awesomely tasty treats involving sugar and flour. Now I try to make better for us treats taste awesome, but they still love Tollhouse cookies. Honestly, so do I, but I just don't eat them.

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