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Potentially amusing story

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  • Potentially amusing story

    So I have this friend. I've been preaching primal to him for awhile now, after he told me he needed to lose a few pounds and was trying to do it on a traditional low-fat diet.

    After a bit of effort on my part, he decided to give primal a try. In the first couple of weeks, he lost 4-5 pounds, and he tells me that he now has those V-shaped lines on his lower abdomen (muy muy jealous, I am). He was already pretty lean, and does ROTC PT during the year, but he was surprised that weight loss was so effortless. He didn't eat strict or anything--he still got fast food, sometimes, and had diet soda, and booze, and probably other stuff I don't know about. He did notice, however, that eating that junk made him feel bad afterwards.

    In an effort to help him go strict(er) for 30 days, we are embarking on a 30 day journaled challenge May 16th, which is two days after I get home from college. We decided that rather than the fully Melissa Urban style "tough love" one cheat and you're out thing, we'd impose a graded penalty system for anybody who cheats. It's all in good fun, obviously, and we've known each other for years.

    Our paleo program is not as strict as some--we're including grain, rice, gluten, corn, and sugar free-booze (vodka, wine, some cider), as well as dairy (I won't be eating it, but he's a tall, strapping young lad who needs a lot more calories than I do, even when trying to lean out). We are, however, cutting coffee and soda (not a problem for me, but he's seriously addicted). I will also be giving up chocolate.

    Here are our penalty ideas (we haven't worked out where these things fall as far as strength of penalty goes):

    -bucket of ice water over the head on the lawn (him shirtless; I have to wear a white shirt)
    -loser is at the disposal (aka the slave) of the winner for a day, with everything from car to wallet included (we're setting an upper limit on money, but we haven't decided how much yet)
    -loser carries around a doll for the week, and must have it with them on their person at all times
    -1oo burpees
    -loser gets tied to a chair and blindfolded and left to stew in a corner for a couple of hours
    -loser gets belted

    So, yeah, that's our plan. And yes, if you guessed we have a bit of light BDSM going'd be right. But all the penalties are meant mostly just to suck.

  • #2
    Hahaha! That sounds fun! Good for you guys finding a motivation that really works. But, uh, are you sure you won't be tempted to cheat? I know I would love a good bucket of ice water over the head right about now.

    And 100 burpees, that's just mad! I know from recent experience that I'd be a whimpering pile of goo by about #15.


    • #3
      Timothy, depends on how hot it is outside. Right now it is snowing back home; hopefully it will warm up!

      Spoke with my friend and we've settled on this list:

      1. bucket of water
      2. shaving
      3. chair, blindfolded, handcuffed, 2 hours
      4. slave for a day, 40 bucks upper limit
      5. burpees, 100
      6. belted, 10


      And then, because I decided it's not all that challenging for me (I've already done a strict 30 day challenge, and have been eating more or less primal since January), I sent him this email:

      So I want to make this a little harder for myself and up the ante, so to speak. I think this is only fair, considering I've been eating this way for a lot longer than you and am a lot more used to it. So all of the below applies ONLY to me, not to you (unless you want to do it, too) and the same penalties as listed will apply if I screw up.

      1. No chocolate, not even 100% cacao
      2. 2 twenty-four hour fasts each week (so if I stop eating at 6 pm one day, I don't eat again until 6 pm the next day). This is called intermittent fasting and it's not as much of a stretch as it sounds; I've done 18 hours pretty comfortably on paleo, 3-4 days less comfortably at survival school, and 2 days at NOLS. Which days I do this can be my choice.
      3. 1 hour, minimum, of physical activity each day, with 3 hard crossfit-style work-outs per week (at least until I can start the self-motivating factor only applies until May 28th or so). Activity can be anything--biking, walking the dog, running, whatever. I want one get-out-jail free card in case I get sick or something. Also, if I, God Forbid, get a migraine*, this one becomes null and void.
      4. I'm already doing a 365 push-up challenge (I might have told you about this?) where I do one push-up on day 1, 2 on day 2, and so on. Today was day 36 and I haven't missed yet, but should I miss a day during the challenge period, we'll count it as a penalty.

      *I get migraines for a week at a time and I am totally incapacitated. I am hopeful that primal living/ketogenic diets will help fix this, but so far it is too early to tell, as I can get them anywhere from 3/4 months to a year apart.


      • #4
        What a riot!
        You'll never see the light if you're in someone else's shadow, or said another way, life is like a dog sled team, if you're not the lead dog, the scenery never changes


        • #5
          My sister is coming to live with me this summer after I have my baby and we have a similar plan! We will also include humiliating photos of ourselves, perhaps posted to facebook but at least shown to lots of people, on the list. And, in our attempt to learn to like organ meat, eating liver is going to be either part of the "requirements" or one of the punishments. It should be fun!