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  • #16
    Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
    Perhaps I am just tired and bored. Two years in a row now of not taking any vacation days, saving them all up for one long summer trip. I don't think I will do this again next year. Next year I will just tack extra days on to long weekends and thus have more vacations overall.

    Anyway, it kinda occurred to me that maybe I'm going nuts because I've been trying to do weird things with my hair, I care more about weight lifting than my job (but maybe that's because I don't do anything for weeks at a time), and the other day I decided to hell with waiting for some appropriate excuse--I have always wanted a tattoo of a butterfly so I walked into a tattoo shop and 4 hours later I had a butterfly tattoo.
    the butterfly effect
    Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

    Predator not Prey
    Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

    CW 315 | SW 506
    Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


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    • #17
      Interesting thread SB. Been wondering about stuff like this myself lately. Good input Q. I feel like I'm not exactly worrying about the past but I'm not exactly sure where to go/what to do for the future. Trying to figure out how to figure it out.
      Breathe. Move forward.

      I just eat what I want...

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      • #18
        Originally posted by excursivey View Post
        Interesting thread SB. Been wondering about stuff like this myself lately. Good input Q. I feel like I'm not exactly worrying about the past but I'm not exactly sure where to go/what to do for the future. Trying to figure out how to figure it out.
        no one knows that answer but you , however i have found that when you stop looking you find stuff. true with keys, true with life.


        stop assuming you are not doing exactly the right thing right now and notice how that feels
        Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

        Predator not Prey
        Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

        CW 315 | SW 506
        Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


        Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

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        • #19
          Time for me to admit that I'm going through one. I just turned 45 and the last few years have been tough. My job went backwards -- new boss brought in idiot friends to do the interesting parts of my job (and do them badly) while leaving me the crap. My adult son moved in with me -- which is nice but also a challenge. My last single friend left for the Peace Corps.

          But the hardest part is that your whole life you live for tomorrow (I know -- you're supposed to live for "today", but who really does that?). But now "tomorrow" seems kind of ridiculous.

          The positive is new insight. Throughout most of my life, there's always been this discipline thing -- I've got to "bear down" and change this, change that. There are times that call for discipline, but it's mostly overrated. After 40 I stepped back and looked at myself -- I now have a decent sample size -- to figure out some of the reasons for my decisions, actions, attitudes, emotions, etc... I've gotten to know who I am and who I am not. I'm reading some Jungian stuff and exploring my subconscious, giving my some "a-ha" moments.

          I'm starting to see that the first 40 years of my life was the me that was created by my family, upbringing and society. And that there's a "me" I want to forge. But to get there, I had to know who that was.

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          • #20
            I hope more people will reply to this thread. I'm probably not old enough to be having a mid-life crisis (I'm 31) but I've had a series of mini-crises, I guess. I think the replies so far are very interesting!

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Rojo View Post
              Time for me to admit that I'm going through one. I just turned 45 and the last few years have been tough. My job went backwards -- new boss brought in idiot friends to do the interesting parts of my job (and do them badly) while leaving me the crap. My adult son moved in with me -- which is nice but also a challenge. My last single friend left for the Peace Corps.

              But the hardest part is that your whole life you live for tomorrow (I know -- you're supposed to live for "today", but who really does that?). But now "tomorrow" seems kind of ridiculous.

              The positive is new insight. Throughout most of my life, there's always been this discipline thing -- I've got to "bear down" and change this, change that. There are times that call for discipline, but it's mostly overrated. After 40 I stepped back and looked at myself -- I now have a decent sample size -- to figure out some of the reasons for my decisions, actions, attitudes, emotions, etc... I've gotten to know who I am and who I am not. I'm reading some Jungian stuff and exploring my subconscious, giving my some "a-ha" moments.

              I'm starting to see that the first 40 years of my life was the me that was created by my family, upbringing and society. And that there's a "me" I want to forge. But to get there, I had to know who that was.
              Thank you for your thoughtful response. I totally get that thing about waking up and realizing you've spent your whole life living as you "should" and realizing there's a "me" you always wanted to be but haven't even started working toward, if you even know what the "me" is supposed to be.

              You also reminded me somehow of all these cool classes they used to have at the Adult Education center. I stopped looking for their schedule after I heard they were going to discontinue all the interesting stuff for High School GED and computer literacy classes. Maybe they still have all those cool classes. They had art classes and personal development/psychology classes and cooking and all sorts of interesting things.

              I gotta say that if any part of you is a free-spirit somewhere inside you, whatever you do, don't marry a Catholic. All that guilt and duty. I mean, I was raised in a stern German Lutheran denomination but it was nothing like all that Catholic guilt.

              Originally posted by nikitakolata View Post
              I hope more people will reply to this thread. I'm probably not old enough to be having a mid-life crisis (I'm 31) but I've had a series of mini-crises, I guess. I think the replies so far are very interesting!
              I hear it's pretty common to have a quarter-century crisis nowadays.
              Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                I gotta say that if any part of you is a free-spirit somewhere inside you, whatever you do, don't marry a Catholic. All that guilt and duty. I mean, I was raised in a stern German Lutheran denomination but it was nothing like all that Catholic guilt.
                Too late, I was raised Catholic. Interesting Jung thoughts on religion. In Christianity the model is, of course, Christ, who is without sin. That's a pretty tough standard. The Greeks, OTOH, had Gods that were all too human. This meant the all the human traits, even the bad ones, were sanctified. Not that they weren't bad -- most of the God's sins were punished -- but that they took on an immortal hue, as if to say lust, envy, sloth are all part of the human experience since time immemorial. Under this paradigm you don't have to hate those parts of you, just be weary of them.

                A big struggle for me is perfectionism and control. It's an enemy of love and creativity.

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                • #23
                  What is the plural of crisis?

                  My life has been a series of crisis so I even though I'm 31, I can relate!

                  Crisis occur when you realise that your life has fallen short of your expectations and dreams.

                  Sometimes this is because you ignored your dreams

                  Sometimes it's cos you procrastinated and didn't work towards them

                  Sometimes you can have crisis because you did follow your dream, and you realised that your dream itself fell short of your expectations, and did not fill the void within you....
                  Or that the dream was something you thought you should want, but wasn't what your heart actually desired.

                  Some things alleviate the feelings of crisis. One is pleasure. Another is change. But I honestly don't know how to resolve it long term. The people who don't seem to go through crisis are those who are single-minded, and don't doubt in themselves, or in what they believe.
                  "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                  In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                  - Ray Peat

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                    What is the plural of crisis?
                    Crises.

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                    • #25
                      I don't know if I've ever had a full blown mid-life crisis. Years in which my age ends in zero or nine tend to be introspective and I'm more prone to act out in sometimes risky ways. But that's been happening since I was 29. So maybe I got to take my midlife crisis in pieces.
                      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                      B*tch-lite

                      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                        I don't know if I've ever had a full blown mid-life crisis. Years in which my age ends in zero or nine tend to be introspective and I'm more prone to act out in sometimes risky ways. But that's been happening since I was 29. So maybe I got to take my midlife crisis in pieces.
                        Do tell. You've always got some interesting personal stories.
                        Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                        • #27
                          I find it a bit reassuring that I am not the only one in my 30s (33) having that has had what feels like a typical mid life crisis. I used to work really hard up to 60 hours a week with a lot of travel, about 85-90 flights a year, on call every second weekend. And to make it worse all of my work was unscheduled. I would start my week not knowing if I would be home at all, or be home all week. I did that for 5 years, then I was laid off (2 weeks before Christmas!!!). I put a lot into that job, took very little vacations, but they didn't really seem to care. About a year before being laid off I took a month off on stress leave because I was extremely burnt out, when I went back to work it was right back into all the crap the burnt me out which undid the stress leave in a matter of weeks. That was 4.5 years ago, and with the help of the PB I am finally getting over all of the symptoms of burnout.

                          My not quite mid life crisis was in part from a job, and seeing some of my friends go through similar crap with an employer who doesn't care for them just all about the profits. For the last two years my current job has been a complete revelation about how employees should be treated. I took a good long 4 week vacation with my wife last year, and since getting back we realized that the life 90% of people in NA are living is so wrong in so many ways. Houses that are way to big, and lots of junk to fill them. Then you have to spend so many of your valuable rare hours away from work cleaning everything, and you have to be a slave to your employer to be able to pay for everything. I think that in my grandparents generation they had it right with less consumerism, one spouse stays at home to take care of the house, and cooking so that when you are home from work you can actually relax, and have some quality time. My wife and I are in the process of moving to a city that we really like (also better for my allergies) to a much smaller house with a big lot (preferably an acreage), much smaller mortgage so that my wife can do reiki part time from a home office, raise some chickens for eggs, and get fruit and vegetables from a nice garden while I am at work leaving us with much more quality time when I am home.

                          I have been working towards this for about 6 months so far, and I have about another 2-3 months before I will be ready to make the move. I have been talking to a lot of people about my plan, and from everyone who is getting close to retirement, or has been through a mid life crisis I seem to get the same response something to the extent of "you are very lucky to realize what is important at such a young age". I think that the cause of so many crisis is when you realize that in the long run it doesn't matter how big your house is, or much stuff you have filling it what matters is that you enjoy life, and take time for yourself, and the things that you enjoy.

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