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  • I agree...with the risk of sounding outrageous I'lI say women "struggle" more to impress other women rather than getting the attention of men...whether this is conscious or not.
    yup. And you know what, I stopped doing that (trying to please other women). It's funny the reactions my friends give me. I was telling a girlfriend that a guy hit on me in a bar. Instead of just saying, "oh, you must have looked cute", she was all "oh, he just wanted sex" and actually took it as far as saying the guy is probably crazy. We have a mutual single girlfriend who gets hit on a ton and no one will just say she is cute or pretty - "she's a slut" or "acts slutty". She is a cute girl, average body, dresses well, very friendly. Not at all done up in hooker gear.

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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    • Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
      Sbhikes, PE was torture for me too. I was scrawny and uncoordinated, no one ever picked me for their team. I hated wearing the required PE shorts because I was often teased about my skinny legs. I wish I could have learned something useful in PE class, instead everything was geared toward competitive team sports. It wasn't until a year ago at the ripe old age of 52 that I learned how to do a chin-up and mastered push-ups. When I went to school you either could do them or you couldn't; no one taught you how to do them.
      Oh god yes. Not just pullups but you were supposed to automatically know how to play football. I still don't understand football.

      As for short/tall men. Nice thing about being a short woman is all men are tall to me. I honestly can only tell if men are really super tall. I can't really tell if they are short. I personally think 5'6" is just right for a man but mine is 5'9" tall. And I'll admit that I have found myself attracted to a few dwarves in my life. And I didn't really realize they were dwarves at first.
      Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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      • Since only 1 image of darling mens thighs showed up here, I thought I'd try to track some down. And lo' even though the search was for men, the results included these gems:

        -A man in footless lace top thigh-hi's, a thong and silver lame high heels ???
        -And many womens images showing them measuring their thighs w/ tape measure and showing light behind them to demonstrate, what, oh yes THE GAP.

        The image search was a big fail!

        “you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.” Wavy Gravy

        Today I am Fillyjonk. Tommorow I will be Snufkin.

        Comment


        • Me too SBhikes and UrbanForager -- PE was a torture and wearing shorts so I could have my knobby knees pointed out was great fun. However when we had the choice of weights class later in HS, that was better.

          “you aren't what you eat - you are what you don't poop.” Wavy Gravy

          Today I am Fillyjonk. Tommorow I will be Snufkin.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by sauerKraut View Post
            @magnolia

            I agree...with the risk of sounding outrageous I'lI say women "struggle" more to impress other women rather than getting the attention of men...whether this is conscious or not.
            And men are in competition with other men on so many levels. For instance, women aren't impressed by the bodybuilder look, but men continue to strive for it. Who are they trying to impress? Other guys at the gym. Who do they think they are trying to impress? Women.

            So what's new?

            Comment


            • At 5' 2" all men are tall to me too. I grew up with tall brothers all are over 6ft. so when I met my husband who is 6'2" he just seemed normal to me. I definitely didn't pick him for his height.

              As has been mentioned, I think height is something that matters more to men, maybe it is like weight among women. Women seem to be more accepting of different heights in men and men seem to be more accepting of different shapes in women. Maybe we women need to look at ourselves from a man's perspective and vise versa for the guys.
              Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

              Comment


              • @magnolia

                I agree...with the risk of sounding outrageous I'lI say women "struggle" more to impress other women rather than getting the attention of men...whether this is conscious or not.
                that's the argument I always make to my wife about most make-up, definitely having her nails done, and the time and attention that she spends getting dressed. Most men literally don't even notice, so it must be to impress/threaten rival women.
                "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

                Jack london, "Before Adam"

                Comment


                • I have still yet to hear a rebuttal to what I wrote previously....how about growing the hell up? How about having enough maturity to understand that the "media" and it's "standards" of both men and women have no concern for your health, and are in place to separate you from your money. What about raising your kids to know that that "voice", as I call it, has NO RELEVANCE for anything in their life, other than to let them understand how messed up some people have their priorities.

                  All of this talk about "victims" for grown-ass adults making choices you view as destructive is ridiculous. Yes, the TV set or magazine rack has some stupid shit to say about how tall and rich men should be, or how thin and "thigh gapped" women should be. Ditto with magazines or internet or anything else....so here's an idea; don't listen. Simple. It's called growing up.

                  Men and women compete with their own gender, and a lot of people make money on that. It is our biology, our basest instinct, and a certain degree of it is healthy....but if someone is actually placing their self-worth on ANYTHING they saw on a screen or magazine somewhere, it is NOT the fault of the cable channel or magazine. That is the fault of an adult that hasn't yet evolved to adulthood, or taught his/her children to do the same. Our culture puts a premium on youth and sex appeal because it infantalizes us, reduces us to children, because that is the form most conducive to spending money. Mature adults don't go spend $2000 they don't have at the mall to fill a whole in their self-esteem. That is something only the emotionally infantile would do, so the culture encourages that for economic reasons....plenty of books have been written on this phenomenon. A part of growing up is learning what this "voice" really is and what it cares about. And it isn't you....

                  If you are an adult and your self-worth has anything to do with what you see on Pinterest, you need to re-think your entire life.
                  Last edited by TheyCallMeLazarus; 06-28-2013, 10:36 AM.
                  "The soul that does not attempt flight; does not notice its chains."

                  Comment


                  • Concur.

                    No one will refute it, because the people that you are criticising are not capable of critical thought, and generally aren't even on forums, because the part of the brain that analyzes and argues about information is dull and atrophied in them. The ones who ARE capable of thinking are already all here and already in agreement.
                    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

                    Jack london, "Before Adam"

                    Comment


                    • That was awesome. Just sayin
                      "The soul that does not attempt flight; does not notice its chains."

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
                        I have still yet to hear a rebuttal to what I wrote previously....how about growing the hell up? How about having enough maturity to understand that the "media" and it's "standards" of both men and women have no concern for your health, and are in place to separate you from your money. What about raising your kids to know that that "voice", as I call it, has NO RELEVANCE for anything in their life, other than to let them understand how messed up some people have their priorities.

                        All of this talk about "victims" for grown-ass adults making choices you view as destructive is ridiculous. Yes, the TV set or magazine rack has some stupid shit to say about how tall and rich men should be, or how thin and "thigh gapped" women should be. Ditto with magazines or internet or anything else....so here's an idea; don't listen. Simple. It's called growing up.

                        Men and women compete with their own gender, and a lot of people make money on that. It is our biology, our basest instinct, and a certain degree of it is healthy....but if someone is actually placing their self-worth on ANYTHING they saw on a screen or magazine somewhere, it is NOT the fault of the cable channel or magazine. That is the fault of an adult that hasn't yet evolved to adulthood, or taught his/her children to do the same. Our culture puts a premium on youth and sex appeal because it infantalizes us, reduces us to children, because that is the form most conducive to spending money. Mature adults don't go spend $2000 they don't have at the mall to fill a whole in their self-esteem. That is something only the emotionally infantile would do, so the culture encourages that for economic reasons....plenty of books have been written on this phenomenon. A part of growing up is learning what this "voice" really is and what it cares about. And it isn't you....

                        If you are an adult and your self-worth has anything to do with what you see on Pinterest, you need to re-think your entire life.
                        But if you aren't a victim of magazine standards or gym class then you have to have personal responsibility for the shit you do. Then you can't place blame on anyone else. And that isn't American now, is it?

                        Comment


                        • As a guy with f*cked up achilles tendons, PE was hell. I dropped that crap ASAP.

                          M.

                          Comment


                          • how about growing the hell up? How about having enough maturity to understand that the "media" and it's "standards" of both men and women have no concern for your health, and are in place to separate you from your money.
                            Mostly I don't want girls to live through the experience I have which is basically too many years of hating myself because I carried excess fat. I *know* that the cover of Cosmo is irrelevant to me. And I know when women are being bitchy. I know I can find a mate. But it bothers me that the Pinterest board is probably the work of a 12 or 13 year old. I *know* that somewhere a 13 year old girl quit horseback riding because her coach said she was "too fat to win". I know there is a 15 year old gymnast vomiting to try and stop the impact of puberty. And I just remember the desperation I felt a few years ago, killing myself with cardio and some stupid diet because I thought if I could just lose 50 lbs, my husband would stop cheating on me.

                            It's a bunch of stupid shit, but women are fed at an early age to believe that "thinness" is some holy grail to happiness. I'd love to see that change that your body as long as it is healthy will get you what you need in life. Hell, I KNOW that now at damn near 40. Wish I'd have known it at 30.

                            So honestly, for me it matters because of the next generation of women. It killed me with riding to see the chunky kids so in love with horses and then they show, get judged, find out why they didn't win the ribbon and tearfully and embarrassed leave the sport for no other reason than they look chubby on their pony.

                            So, no.... I'm happy with myself but it took a lot of years to get that righted. Was it my fault? Yes, but it would have been nice to have heard some other message at some point other than "fat thighs suck", you are fat, fat is why you are X, Y or Z. I think the ONLY person who was ever concerned about my weight for any reason other than my appearance and how it impacted my life, was my dad who was concerned about my health.

                            I also think men underestimate the number of women who deal with these issues, most of them silently, most with a great deal of shame about it.

                            http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                            Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
                              I have still yet to hear a rebuttal to what I wrote previously....how about growing the hell up? How about having enough maturity to understand that the "media" and it's "standards" of both men and women have no concern for your health, and are in place to separate you from your money. What about raising your kids to know that that "voice", as I call it, has NO RELEVANCE for anything in their life, other than to let them understand how messed up some people have their priorities.

                              All of this talk about "victims" for grown-ass adults making choices you view as destructive is ridiculous. Yes, the TV set or magazine rack has some stupid shit to say about how tall and rich men should be, or how thin and "thigh gapped" women should be. Ditto with magazines or internet or anything else....so here's an idea; don't listen. Simple. It's called growing up.

                              Men and women compete with their own gender, and a lot of people make money on that. It is our biology, our basest instinct, and a certain degree of it is healthy....but if someone is actually placing their self-worth on ANYTHING they saw on a screen or magazine somewhere, it is NOT the fault of the cable channel or magazine. That is the fault of an adult that hasn't yet evolved to adulthood, or taught his/her children to do the same. Our culture puts a premium on youth and sex appeal because it infantalizes us, reduces us to children, because that is the form most conducive to spending money. Mature adults don't go spend $2000 they don't have at the mall to fill a whole in their self-esteem. That is something only the emotionally infantile would do, so the culture encourages that for economic reasons....plenty of books have been written on this phenomenon. A part of growing up is learning what this "voice" really is and what it cares about. And it isn't you....

                              If you are an adult and your self-worth has anything to do with what you see on Pinterest, you need to re-think your entire life.
                              I agree that's why I limit my intake of media drastically, in fact it's on this forum where I hear about weird stuff like thigh gap. Health involves more than working out and eating right; mental health involves not consuming CW crap promulgated by mass media as well as offered up by well meaning friends and family.

                              And if you're a parent it means not dishing out that crap to your kids. In our family that is one of the reasons we choose to unschool our son.
                              Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                              Comment


                              • When my kid was 7 years old she started crying one day at the dinner table. I asked why, and she said it was because she was "fat and lazy". Her father, my ex-husband, had told her so.

                                Maybe she should have just pulled herself up by her bootstraps.

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