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  • #61
    Originally posted by aliphian View Post
    I have been happily married for over 7 years (been together for about 9). My wife and I are together 24/7 (we work together, commute together, sit next to each other at work etc...) We met on hotornot.com. Romantic, huh?
    This is my husband and me! Except w met online by chance via a mutual friend while doing business, haven't been apart for more than a few hours in 8 years! Work together, even shared a long desk for a long time, lol. We love being around each other. Definitely recommend finding someone with similar interests and being honest about your intentions.

    OP it doesn't sound like you want to date, you want to have sex. Stick to adult friend finder and sites like Craig's List fling ads that don't have women who are mostly looking for love. No point in wasting anyone's time including yours.
    | My (food) Blog | Follow me on Facebook | Pinterest | Twitter |

    “It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men.” - Samuel Adams

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    • #62
      Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
      A feminist is a person who supports equal opportunity for women as men. One who is opposed to feminism thinks that women should have fewer opportunities than men, or none at all. We know where Derp stands on that issue.
      It has been my observation that most feminists do not fight for equality, but rather for favoritism. True equal opportunity does not need labels. All humans have the same rights and they never come at the expense of another. E.g., getting hired simply because you are _________ (insert group requesting special privileges).
      | My (food) Blog | Follow me on Facebook | Pinterest | Twitter |

      “It does not take a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority, keen on setting brushfires of freedom in the minds of men.” - Samuel Adams

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      • #63
        I met my girlfriend online and i hope my future is like j3nn and aliphian. We are spending a lot of time together and i hope we end up happy together. Right now, i am saving up for a ring and hopefully start a family soon. So, i definitely recommend online dating, especially at perfectmatch. If you want to know about perfectmatch, you can check out www.freedatinghelper.com/reviews/perfect-match/ to get user feedbacks.
        Last edited by PandaBoy; 06-14-2013, 10:16 PM.

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        • #64
          And mine has been disturbed o.O
          http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

          Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

          And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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          • #65
            you can't tell me you aren't tempted to sign up for zombie dating

            i am
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

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            • #66
              Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
              you can't tell me you aren't tempted to sign up for zombie dating

              i am
              I can absolutely tell you that I'm not tempted by the zombie dating. Now the werewolves . . . they don't fall apart at inopportune times
              http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

              Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

              And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

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              • #67
                Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
                The maximal biological advantage for men is to pair up and provide support to a woman who is raising his children (maximal investment with best guarantee of return), while occasionally sowing some wild oats on the off-chance that a woman he may never see again (and possibly her partner) will raise his offspring (minimal investment with possibility of return).
                If my body was a computer, it might think that way. However, my sexual attitudes are pre-set to the primeval "maximum biological advantage". In other words, less of what you say and more of a polyamorous attitude. There is SOME truth to what you say about providing for the mother of your kids. That does provide a more maximal investment. However, investing the extra care to help that mom really has nothing to do with devoting yourself to her (as it does in modern marriage). Your linkage of "providing support" to mostly monogamy is just a result of your modern preconceptions of what "providing support" really means.

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                • #68
                  Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                  I have sympathy for both sides of the equation. Free sex has been tried many times in many countries under many names, and yet we seem to pair bond, even those of us who chose not to breed and have indulged in serial monogamy.

                  JoanieL's theory on the whole free sex/one night stand thing:

                  First the physical. If you (generic you, not addressed to anyone specific) believe that sex is only a biological function like shitting, then I guess you can fuck whomever you want and walk away unaffected by the whole experience. However, you guys don't get your groove on mostly 'til your 40s and I know few women under that age who have orgasms from one night stands. So all we walk away from a one night stand with is some goo and the need for a shower.
                  Sex is a biological function. Guess what? So is socializing. You're romanticizing it unnecessarily.

                  Woah.... 40's?? That sounds ridiculous to me. Thoughtful moment where I wonder if none of my peers are any good....

                  Pretending that's true, there's a lot that honesty and realism would fix in this situation. If women started thinking they wanted sex and conversation rather than a long-term commitment, they would spend time finding men who could provide that. As it is, women often try and try and try to find their white knight (a totally mythical creature). When they've held their metaphorical breath as long as they can hold it, they take a breath by getting drunk and finding some supposedly shitty lay that makes them feel terrible. Then, they wake up and want the white knight even more. The women need to just appreciate sex and conversation. It will end this moral bullshit. They'll experience more kinds of men. They'll find someone (who there's a good chance they wouldn't have met) who will satisfy them for a long time if they decide to eventually commit.

                  Then on the side of men, men would begin to focus on satisfying women with sex and conversation rather than stupid shit like flowers and a freshly-pressed collar shirt. Men are out there to impress, so if they don't think much about it, they will always focus energy on what the women claim to be seeking. In this case, it's romantic bullshit, feigned devotion, and wealth transfer.

                  Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                  The emotional + physical. You guys have outies. You stick a part of your body into something. We women have innies. We take someone into our bodies. You can't relate to us on that and we can't relate to you. To be really crass, I could stick my finger (since I don't have a penis) into a jar of mustard and feel nothing, but at the very least, I'd feel discomfort if the jar of mustard was stuck into me.

                  The lies on both sides. Men who pretend sex means something and women who pretend it doesn't.
                  Why are we fighting over meaning versus lack of meaning? That's just a silly black/white argument that I don't really believe exists. You're creating something.

                  It never occurs to me that sex has meaning or not.
                  It never occurs to me that food has meaning or not.
                  It never occurs to me that a conversation on the street has meaning or not.

                  It does occur to me that friends, family, community have meaning. It does occur to me that knowledge and human achievement have meaning.

                  Maybe I have sex enough that I don't stress on it like those who don't. Maybe this allows my moral compass to be worried about actual issues and my soul to be enjoying the joy of life.

                  Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                  All of the above shit gets us all into trouble with misunderstandings. I'm sorry if it sounds sexist, but men and women are different when it comes to sex. I don't believe the old BS about men having some primal (not Mark's primal) need to spread their genes around because if you want your offspring to live, you need to stay around to protect them.
                  I do believe in the primal need to spread the seed around. Where are guys in tribes going to 'go' to? It's hard to be a deadbeat dad to a woman that lives next door to you your entire life. Secondly, if most or all of their possessions are shared, there is no need for a singular man to provide for a singular woman. Men provide for the tribe, have sex when they can. Women provide for the tribe, receive support from the tribe, have sex with the most powerful/alpha men they can get their hands on.

                  Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                  Given the standard one night stand scenario, a man picks up a woman, if he's smart he uses a condom, (hopefully) he gets out before light of day, and it's over. The ramifications are different for the woman. Any error, from misjudging the man and sleeping with a serial killer to a broken condom resulting in pregnancy or disease (and the risk of disease for men in this situation is substantially less because he hasn't exposed a mucus membrane to a stranger) carries a higher risk.

                  I don't know the solution to it all. Men, stop being so egocentric and thinking that ten minutes of the old in out is gonna do it for us. Women, stop trying to act/be like men. Women are too easy and men think they are all that. I have no answers. The zipless fuck (Erica Jong) can be fun for some women, but if we're honest with ourselves, the reality is that we are more complex, and most men don't get it in one night. That's why we feel ripped off by one night stands.

                  JMO obviously, but I have a lurid past.
                  I don't think sex is going to win a lady over. I'm not trying to win a lady over.

                  Women are too easy??? Fuck no, they're not.

                  Sex is a lot like socialization. It's having a conversation but with your body. How about we stop thinking it has to do with wealth transfer like traditional marriage tried to make it into. Would you want to have to walk into a bar and only get to talk to someone if you proved your loyalty, support, and on top of all that, the fact that you are a good conversationalist with a chemistry connection with the person you want to talk to??? That's exhausting.
                  Last edited by wiltondeportes; 06-08-2013, 12:29 AM.

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                  • #69
                    Originally posted by eKatherine View Post
                    Most women expect that many of the men on such sites are opposed to marriage on principle, but are not opposed to women supporting them or waiting on them hand and foot.
                    Thank you. The fact that I don't need a woman to support me or wait on me is a key ingredient I have been leaving out. In other words, I may be giving less to the woman, but I ALSO expect less in return.

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                    • #70
                      Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                      yes

                      I am vehemently anti-feminist though, it once stood for equality, now god knows what it stands for, it's beyond fucked up
                      How can you even decide what feminism stands for now? What are your sources and reasoning for this statement?

                      I think feminism is accused for all the world's problems by guys who actually just have problems themselves and don't have enough courage to admit that what is happening could be partially THEIR fault (and certainly partially the fault of particular woman they talk to) and NOT the feminism movement's fault.

                      I once lumped feminism into the whole "Political Correctness" thing that seemed like a panacea. In hindsight, it was a bunch of whining, obsessive nostalgia, and a lack of courage to man up and change my own situation. Plus, I've learned more about general governance, so I have different opinions on the best solutions there too.

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                      • #71
                        I'm really sorry... but any women who are trying to speak for all women in saying that "Women always feel something(emotional) during sex" should really just stop.
                        And no. Women who enjoy sex sans emotional ties are not "trying to be like men". WTH?

                        People are simply different. SOME people do want/form emotional connection with physical connection, others don't always.

                        Sure, I'm not a fan of the one night stand with guys. It did't take me but a couple of shots at that to figure out it was a losing bet. What I did figure out though was that I could find I guy I had great sexual chemistry with but ZERO desire for any actual relationship with and form a consensual booty call partnership with him. Thus I could go on dates with lots of guys I was interested in possibly having relationships with, but not be so goddam horney from lack of sex that I fell right into bed with them at the drop of a hat. It worked great for me. I've not had very many male sexual relationships due to that choice. I have, and have always had, an extremely high libido... I have never felt bad about having these NSA relationships even though back when I was doing it there wasn't even really a name for it like NSA or FWB.
                        Once a guy I was in a NSA deal with got too friendly and hinted that he wanted "more"... I dropped him immediately as nicely as I could. I was just not interested in a relationship at all. I had made that VERY clear from the beginning.

                        I did however have a ton of sex with women. A lot of one night stands and some shot term and longer dating.
                        The one night stands and quickies were all very nice I assure you. No performance issues there unlike with guys. No emotions were necessary. It was just pure sexual energy getting burned and both parties were aware of that. It had exactly zero to do with me thinking about "being like a man" and trying to take my emotions out of the situation. I new I wanted sex, so I had sex. I didn't have any further feelings. Just thanks, that was awesome, and bye.

                        Sometimes, even for women, sex is just sex.

                        I'm "old" and married now... married for 15 years... and I LOVE that emotional connection. We don't need sex to feel connected, sometimes just a good hug or cuddle and chat in bed does that, but we still have really good sex even after all these years.
                        However, the "just sex" was really good back in the day too.
                        “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                        ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                        And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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                        • #72
                          Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                          I'm really sorry... but any women who are trying to speak for all women in saying that "Women always feel something(emotional) during sex" should really just stop.
                          And no. Women who enjoy sex sans emotional ties are not "trying to be like men". WTH?

                          People are simply different. SOME people do want/form emotional connection with physical connection, others don't always.

                          Sure, I'm not a fan of the one night stand with guys. It did't take me but a couple of shots at that to figure out it was a losing bet. What I did figure out though was that I could find I guy I had great sexual chemistry with but ZERO desire for any actual relationship with and form a consensual booty call partnership with him. Thus I could go on dates with lots of guys I was interested in possibly having relationships with, but not be so goddam horney from lack of sex that I fell right into bed with them at the drop of a hat. It worked great for me. I've not had very many male sexual relationships due to that choice. I have, and have always had, an extremely high libido... I have never felt bad about having these NSA relationships even though back when I was doing it there wasn't even really a name for it like NSA or FWB.
                          Once a guy I was in a NSA deal with got too friendly and hinted that he wanted "more"... I dropped him immediately as nicely as I could. I was just not interested in a relationship at all. I had made that VERY clear from the beginning.

                          I did however have a ton of sex with women. A lot of one night stands and some shot term and longer dating.
                          The one night stands and quickies were all very nice I assure you. No performance issues there unlike with guys. No emotions were necessary. It was just pure sexual energy getting burned and both parties were aware of that. It had exactly zero to do with me thinking about "being like a man" and trying to take my emotions out of the situation. I new I wanted sex, so I had sex. I didn't have any further feelings. Just thanks, that was awesome, and bye.

                          Sometimes, even for women, sex is just sex.

                          I'm "old" and married now... married for 15 years... and I LOVE that emotional connection. We don't need sex to feel connected, sometimes just a good hug or cuddle and chat in bed does that, but we still have really good sex even after all these years.
                          However, the "just sex" was really good back in the day too.
                          That's closer to what I'm talking about.

                          It's also a perfect example of getting what you want and need out of a situation instead of whining that not everyone sees it your way or giving up if it's not given to you.
                          Last edited by wiltondeportes; 06-08-2013, 12:36 AM.

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by Zanna View Post
                            The shyness you encounter is not always shyness, but caution ...
                            I have to agree with this.

                            Foremost, I know lots of people (of many ages) who are fine with casual relationships and are even looking for those, but it's very normal for people to be cautious. There is a lot of crazy out there. A lot of it. And as such, people are cautious to not invite the crazy into their lives.

                            Bloodorchid wrote about one kind: "we sexed! i know you love me!" I've run into this from men and women where it's like "you talked to me! you obviously want to be with me!" largely because there's all kinds of crazy/lonely out there.

                            whether real life or online, i'm cautious.

                            might I suggest a swingers club? some of them have evenings when men are allowed to come as singles, but msot of them will only let you become a member if you are part of a couple. so, look for those clubs that allow men to come as singles on occasion.

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                            • #74
                              LOL, my neighbor ALWAYS had 2 or 3 guys that she didn't want to date on the side for sex. I think women enjoy a hook up as much as men do.

                              And not all guys just want sex. My other online dating friend is a guy who has no desire to hook up randomly.

                              Probably a lot depends on your sex drive. If you want to have sex daily and are single, I imagine part of that is hook ups without dinner and flowers.

                              http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                              Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                              • #75
                                Originally posted by wiltondeportes View Post
                                How can you even decide what feminism stands for now? What are your sources and reasoning for this statement?

                                I think feminism is accused for all the world's problems by guys who actually just have problems themselves and don't have enough courage to admit that what is happening could be partially THEIR fault (and certainly partially the fault of particular woman they talk to) and NOT the feminism movement's fault.

                                I once lumped feminism into the whole "Political Correctness" thing that seemed like a panacea. In hindsight, it was a bunch of whining, obsessive nostalgia, and a lack of courage to man up and change my own situation. Plus, I've learned more about general governance, so I have different opinions on the best solutions there too.
                                I already posted enough on this to give you an idea, and no, it has nothing to do with what you said.
                                Make America Great Again

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