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I actually found a job I might like

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  • I actually found a job I might like

    -Long stretches of time outside.

    -environment hyper-saturated with competing demands for attention to moving people and objects

    -holding stances punctuated by suicide sprints

    -snap judgments

    -shouted grunts and flexing

    -a personal suit of armor

    -cash money


    I think that I want to be an Umpire forever. It literally never occured to me to try it. I have never even owned a baseball hat in my life.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

    Jack london, "Before Adam"

  • #2
    Originally posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    -Long stretches of time outside.

    -environment hyper-saturated with competing demands for attention to moving people and objects

    -holding stances punctuated by suicide sprints

    -snap judgments

    -shouted grunts and flexing

    -a personal suit of armor

    -cash money


    I think that I want to be an Umpire forever. It literally never occured to me to try it. I have never even owned a baseball hat in my life.
    Nice. How much can you make?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
      -Long stretches of time outside.

      -environment hyper-saturated with competing demands for attention to moving people and objects

      -holding stances punctuated by suicide sprints

      -snap judgments

      -shouted grunts and flexing

      -a personal suit of armor

      -cash money


      I think that I want to be an Umpire forever. It literally never occured to me to try it. I have never even owned a baseball hat in my life.
      That's almost the same description as my job (reading utility meters):

      -environment hyper-saturated with competing demands for attention to moving people and objects (Dodging cars, dogs and angry customers that just got their bill)

      -holding stances punctuated by suicide sprints (When the dogs decide to chase you or the customer is armed)

      -snap judgments (Is the dog actually going to chase me or just snarl? And how many bullets does that gun hold...)

      -shouted grunts and flexing (Holy crap! That dog is huge! And fast!)

      -a personal suit of armor (Got me there. All I'm allowed to carry is an umbrella)

      -cash money (They have to pay decent money or no one in their right mind would show up)
      Durp.

      Comment


      • #4
        Why don't you do dish/cable installation instead?
        Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
        Starting Weight: 294 pounds
        Current Weight: 235 pounds
        Goal Weight: 195 pounds

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by kenn View Post
          Why don't you do dish/cable installation instead?
          I always wanted to make a few 'house calls'...

          Comment


          • #6
            Sounds monotonous as shit 'swhy. I can't stay interested in like, activity or productivity unless I have to be in hyper-attentive, decision-making mode in basically battle time.
            "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

            Jack london, "Before Adam"

            Comment


            • #7
              Truck with a gas card driving around parts you've probably not been before?

              Doing installations on different houses and different environments?
              Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
              Starting Weight: 294 pounds
              Current Weight: 235 pounds
              Goal Weight: 195 pounds

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
                I have to be in hyper-attentive, decision-making mode in basically battle time.
                Try being a security guard at a rock concert. Those guys on the barrier are constantly on battle time looking for the next person to try and jump over the barrier, throw things, use a prohibited item etc, whilst also listening to the earpiece in case the supervisor wants them to move.

                Comment


                • #9
                  When I was 18 I decided I wanted to be the first female umpire in the MLB.

                  Somehow I ended up in academia instead.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
                    -Long stretches of time outside.

                    -environment hyper-saturated with competing demands for attention to moving people and objects

                    -holding stances punctuated by suicide sprints

                    -snap judgments

                    -shouted grunts and flexing

                    -a personal suit of armor

                    -cash money


                    I think that I want to be an Umpire forever. It literally never occured to me to try it. I have never even owned a baseball hat in my life.
                    And? You are never wrong, not ever. Even if you call a strike on a ball that bounces in the dirt before reaching the plate, you will always be right. First lesson of baseball that both my kids had to learn was never argue with the ump. He won't change his mind and you'll need him to make horrible calls like that when you're pitching too.

                    Comment

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