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  • #16
    Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
    it's because of this:

    Ha! Made me think of We Will Marry Your Girlfriends.

    But I seriously doubt that has any relevance to the OP's issue. I also think the mostly likely problem (assuming it isn't just some horrible coincidence) is that the OP is attracted to or attracts the kind of men who have these issues. People can be incredibly savvy at enabling their own emotional maladies. And they can be completely unaware at the conscious level.
    50yo, 5'3"
    SW-195
    CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
    GW- Goals are no longer weight-related

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    • #17
      I've had similar luck with men. When they were young they went too fast. The older ones are too slow to finish the job, can't get it up or can't keep it up. Among the older ones I've been with it appears to be the following things:
      - Too much porn
      - Too much alcohol
      - Too fat/unhealthy
      - Taking old man meds
      - Too nervous

      The ED meds aren't really much help but the old guys always take their little blue pills because once they "fail" a couple of times they get all mental about it. The pills just keep them in that mental state and become a crutch.
      Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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      • #18
        I was going to mention the alcohol thing too.....

        Depending on where you meet them, like in a bar, or maybe
        you're even on a 5th date where lots of wine has been consumed,
        that will totally wreck thinks in the bedroom later. AskMeHowIKnow.

        My husband and I have been together since 1996 and when we first started
        dating we could go out, party, drink like fish and then **** like rabbits later.

        Then in our mid 30's it was like, the man part would initially work after some
        booze, but then fail.

        Now in our mid 40's, if he even LOOKS at a beer, let alone DRINK one (or 12)
        before bed, forget it.

        The urge is there but physically, it just ain't happening.

        So, just wanted to throw that out there in case alcohol is involved.

        And I'm not talking stone cold drunk, either - even two glasses of
        wine does it these days.

        Julia

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        • #19
          Violette, I believe it is a coincidence. A girl would have to be very ugly for a guy to lose his sex drive - especially when he could get a picture of what she looks like even when she has her clothes on, and he went for it.

          Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
          I think you've had bad luck. Any dude who seriously wants to get laid will do it, barring mechanical/health issues with himself. My partner played the pool quite a bit in high school and the basic rules are "is conscious, has consented, has boobs & vagina. Go."

          And when I say "has boobs", it really doesn't matter what type.
          Hearing from guys online and offline, and knowing myself, I can say this: Guys are actually not so picky with what a girl looks like. Especially not in online dating, where women are absolutely more picky with what men look like. Women complain about "super models setting impossible standards," but when do they ever hear guys talk about "super models"? They are not what a normal guy would pick, especially not with that avian look they get from taking weight-loss pills. (Look at porn, which actually has to cater to a normal male audience; the women look different.) It has always seemed like a cop-out to me. Guys don't complain like that about Chris Evans ... but I digress.

          To get back on topic: the one thing guys want to see in a woman's body is a waistline. They will not say that though, because it is too obvious for them to have thought of. A waistline is the sine qua non for a woman's body to look attractive. It doesn't have to look great, it just has to be noticeable.

          Kind of like what I have heard women say about men's muscles: it is not necessary that they look great, they just need to be at least noticeable.

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          • #20
            OP- you should try getting with an immigrant. American men are like the bottom-ranking globally for different male sexual indicators because of the extent of the toxins in our food and environment.

            It's not that weird though, I think, for your unit to go into hiding with a new woman. It happened to me when I was younger just outta straight and total fear, because the gap between my understanding of the quality of mate that I can land, and the reality of the hotness of the mate before me was just too unbelievable and overwhelming. Lookin life and death in the mouth is more terrifying than most men are willing to confess. Probably after one such fail, any follow-up attempt is tainted with obvious embarassment, which is a boner killer.

            You can come to SJ though and I will introduce you around; the dogs I run with will hook you up.
            "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

            Jack london, "Before Adam"

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            • #21
              Find a primal dude. My wife has been much more satisfied with me since switching up my diet.
              The above should be viewed as complete and utter nonsense.

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              • #22
                I think like an arab or russian is a safer bet. I bet a lot of NYC Primal guys are irritating hipsters.
                "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

                Jack london, "Before Adam"

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                • #23
                  It's a struggle to go in less than 5m for me, I hope that never changes
                  Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                  Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                  Current Weight: 235 pounds
                  Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                  • #24
                    It absolutely isn't you at all, certainly not from a physical perspective. Have you considered the energy you might be putting out about yourself and have perhaps attracted men who can't perform in correlation to your expectations? It's just an idea, but I look back at some of the men in my life and why I was being attracted again and again to the same thing...all because I didn't think much of myself. So I think I kept reaffirming it with choosing losers, a bit different from your story, but enough to go on?

                    I really don't think erectile dysfunction is from the woman not being attractive, it's from the man's thoughts about himself and his own performance anxieties and whatever other worries he has spinning around in his head.

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                    • #25
                      Notice how Mark is always citing those studies with a five-person sample size?

                      Me either. Cuz it don't mean anything.

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                      • #26
                        Craigslist will get the job done... Just say mature lady seeks younger man for tonight only.

                        Say, "Come on in, the door will be unlocked, I will be blindfolded, do what you want"

                        I'm sure the solve your problem.


                        Excuse me for my bad typos,
                        Sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                          Advice: go Italian. I've yet to meet one from ages 25 to 67 who couldn't get the job done. LOL.

                          (I'm of Sicilian descent, but that is still just an observation.)
                          she's right. my family is originally from naples and I've been known to get the job done...

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Rojo View Post
                            Notice how Mark is always citing those studies with a five-person sample size?
                            What error margin you save from higher sample size is a case of diminishing returns. The magic number I remember from stats classes is six. However this assumes that your sample is well selected and thus a good representative of the population, which is not the case in this thread.

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                            • #29
                              Of course, there is the obvious response:
                              Modern men have lower testosterone. The average number of times couples have sex, per week, is now ONCE. This is people who live together, who supposedly love each other to bits and who only manage ANY sexual act (so everything counts in that statistic, from the regular stuff, to a quickie, to hand-work) once a week. Maybe the men you're dating, due to a combo of low testosterone, poor diet and age, are simply not at their best?

                              PS: I second the Russian thing someone mentioned. Slavic Russians have naturally MUCH higher testosterone. This should balance-out any diet- or age-based erectile issues. Polish men of Balto-Slavic descent may be good too, mind. They also like fatty, offally meats sauerkraut, pickled veg and roasts, so they won't whinge about your diet. Unless they're Primal you may still have to put up with a lot of bread, though.
                              Yeah, Slavs are pretty much the incarnation of awesome. Plus, we're sexy as fuck.
                              Last edited by Kochin; 05-14-2013, 05:32 AM.
                              --
                              Perfection is entirely individual. Any philosophy or pursuit that encourages individuality has merit in that it frees people. Any that encourages shackles only has merit in that it shows you how wrong and desperate the human mind can get in its pursuit of truth.

                              --
                              I get blunter and more narcissistic by the day.
                              I'd apologize, but...

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Violette_R View Post
                                That's 60% of the men I try to have sex with being unable to achieve or maintain an erection or unable to ejaculate via intercourse. Is that a normal rate or do I need to face the possibility that it's me?
                                "Several studies have looked at the prevalence of ED. The Massachusetts Male Aging Study1 reported a prevalence of 52%. The study demonstrated that ED is increasingly prevalent with age. At age 40, approximately 40% of men are affected."
                                Source
                                So 60% may seem high, but it's not outside the realm of expectations, particularly if you consider sampling bias.

                                Self-assessment of my sexual desirability
                                If you are attractive enough to get him into bed, you are attractive enough for sex. Besides, you can always turn out the lights.

                                The guys probably feel even worse about this than you do.

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