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What I Gave Up...

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  • What I Gave Up...

    Feeling Fat: Health: Self.com

    Mainstream 'health' source aside, reading this article really struck a chord with me. My friends and family don't give a rat about the number on my scale and I don't care what theirs says...so it's high time I stopped defining myself by what mine says and making myself insane trying to get it lower. I will eat healthy, real foods, move my body, spend time outside (once spring actually happens, grr!), sleep well, stress less, play and spend time with those who mean the most to me and add value to my life. The rest will come in time.

  • #2
    What a great article. Thanks for sharing!

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    • #3
      That story was touching but sad.

      Comment


      • #4
        That article really resonated with me! I still hate buying clothes because I always think "well if I buy that and lose weight it won't fit anymore so it will be a waste of money!" and as a result I own few clothes (and nothing special). Half the time I'm going out I don't bother to make a REAL effort to look good because "I'm fat anyway so I won't look good no matter what I do".

        Definitely food for thought!

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        • #5
          That was so sad, and the cycle is what so many women go thru. Diet to diet to diet, getting malnourished, not understanding why the weight won't go.

          But let's face it- I miss out on a lot these days, but so many people in my life are social with alcohol not optional.

          http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
          Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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          • #6
            Wow! Been there done that..still do it some.
            Primal since 4/7/2012

            Starting weight 140
            Current weigh 126

            www.jenniferglobensky.blogspot.com

            Jennifer

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            • #7
              That you for sharing that!

              Wow. I could have written that article! The writer's life sounds so much like mine that it is uncanny. We even weigh the same amounts! I have had every thought she mentions go through my head as well. The wedding things particularly resonates because when I found out my sister was getting married the first though was "shoot, how much time do I have to lose 30 pounds." Of course, I never lost those 30 pounds. I still can't look at her wedding pictures because I'm so disappointed in myself for not losing weight.

              It is hard to imagine that others don't see what is so obvious to me (the extra 40 pounds). Even at my thinnest I wasn't thin, heck, I was still technically overweight. My weight is definitely all-consuming and something I think about for at least 8 hours a day. Crazy...

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              • #8
                Struck a chord with me too...been that way for many years.

                Big turning point was when I started concentrating on being healthy and fit, rather than being thin. Instead of searching for the elusive 'skinny' portrayed in the media, I've realised that as well as being completely unrealistic for my broad frame, it is also unhealthy. Thee days I'm after 'athletic' - something I've never been and never imagined I could be, but is becoming ever closer. I still weigh myself but manage to be quite dispassionate about it and realise that it is fat that I'm losing these days, not just weight. In fact it kinda frustrates me that so many people - even quite knowledgeable people around here - still insist on celebrating or commiserating due to the number on the scale.

                It's really hard shedding all those years of brainwashing...the same brainwashing that also makes us feel that we're unworthy. The sad thing is that so many of us don't realise that being thin won't solve that.

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                • #9
                  Great article. It is so very sad to think how common this is, too. This cycle of thinking becomes so deeply embedded in our minds so early in life, that it takes major work in order for there to be any hope of escaping what is basically a toxic mental prison. It's probably no surprise that losing the weight does NOTHING to free us. That realization is a major disappointment which overshadows the enjoyment of (and sense of accomplishment from) having met our "goals".

                  I am determined to do anything and everything I can to prevent my 13 year old daughter from ever starting down this dead end road. It's ridiculously difficult to do as we are constantly bombarded with messages attempting to convince us to hop on and take a "quick" walk in order to be "acceptable by society's standards". Heck, just look at all of the tabs above the article. "Lose 10 pounds! Breakfasts under 350 cals! Bikini body workout!" They're everywhere. Unfortunately, she's gotten messages from me in the past, too - by observing my struggles and hearing my comments about myself. No mas!!

                  Thanks for sharing this, lemontwisst.
                  Last edited by GoJenGo; 04-17-2013, 08:52 AM.
                  Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

                  - Robert Louis Stevenson

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by spuggygirl View Post
                    It's really hard shedding all those years of brainwashing...the same brainwashing that also makes us feel that we're unworthy. The sad thing is that so many of us don't realise that being thin won't solve that.
                    Exactly!
                    Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

                    - Robert Louis Stevenson

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                    • #11
                      This could have been written by me as well. I've let so much of my life pass me by because of my weight, and my terror of leaving the house because of everyone judging me. >.< So many things I've missed out on because I was ashamed of my body.

                      And the irony of the tabs above the article just drove the point home. No matter how body confident you might be, there is always someone there ready to take you down a peg to make a buck off your "flaws."
                      yay!

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                      • #12
                        The funny thing is that I don't notice people's weights except for people who really are pushing morbidly obese. The weirdest thing for me was a group photo taken at Christmas with some girlfriends. I ALWAYS feel like the fat cow of the group, like everyone is staring at me. And I saw that photo and realized I was smaller than all but two of the women, but that I didn't consider any of the others to be fat.

                        This is all very sad, that we wrap so much importance into something so actually unimportant.

                        http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                        Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                          The funny thing is that I don't notice people's weights except for people who really are pushing morbidly obese. The weirdest thing for me was a group photo taken at Christmas with some girlfriends. I ALWAYS feel like the fat cow of the group, like everyone is staring at me. And I saw that photo and realized I was smaller than all but two of the women, but that I didn't consider any of the others to be fat.

                          This is all very sad, that we wrap so much importance into something so actually unimportant.
                          I think perhaps it depends on who you are surrounded by. Out of all of my friends and relatives, the largest person (aside from me) wears a size 6. So, in every picture I am much larger than everyone else, even the men. It just makes me feel bad.

                          Since shifting to primal I'm trying to focus more on health and less on appearance, but it is very tough to do. Maybe if I had even just one friend that was close to my size I wouldn't feel so out of place all the time, but who knows. I do think I am healthier than most of my family and friends. I haven't had a cold in 2 years and now that I've gotten my migraines figured out I really don't have any health issues that I can think of. But... when we go clothes shopping somehow all of that is out the window. In situations like when we go to a bar and no one talks to me so I end up babysitting the coats and purses while my friends are all talking to new people or dancing, size feels much more important than health. I'm just as interesting, successful, intelligent, whatever as my friends are, but men at a bar are not interested in talking to me. I've never once been asked out on a date in person. That stuff hurt, even though we want to say that it doesn't matter.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by GoJenGo View Post
                            Heck, just look at all of the tabs above the article. "Lose 10 pounds! Breakfasts under 350 cals! Bikini body workout!" They're everywhere.
                            Terrible isn't it? They couldn't have at least paid lip service to prompting HEALTH rather than weight loss? Even if you don't read magazines like Shape and Cosmo (which are the worst offenders), it's almost impossible to escape these messages.
                            No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated with any other means.
                            -Maimonodies

                            The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.

                            Babes with BBQ

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                            • #15
                              Gosh, that was hard to read! That was me, for 25 years, except for the ending. I try not to think of all those years as wasted. I don't know if it makes it easier or harder that something just clicked in my head a year ago and now I have something like the body I longed for all those years. I avoided so many photographs because I hated seeing my giant self. I worry that I already planted the poisonous seeds in my daughter's mind a long time ago. Ugh.
                              50yo, 5'3"
                              SW-195
                              CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
                              GW- Goals are no longer weight-related

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