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  • #16
    Originally posted by nikitakolata View Post
    In situations like when we go to a bar and no one talks to me so I end up babysitting the coats and purses while my friends are all talking to new people or dancing, size feels much more important than health. I'm just as interesting, successful, intelligent, whatever as my friends are, but men at a bar are not interested in talking to me. I've never once been asked out on a date in person. That stuff hurt, even though we want to say that it doesn't matter.
    I hate it that anyone is ever made to feel this way. It is just heartbreaking and, unfortunately, is not uncommon. Those awful feelings kick off the cycle of thought that eventually paralyzes us and leads to our putting life on the back burner UNTIL we.....A., B., or C., or all of the above. We are then on a mission to do whatever it takes to avoid being vulnerable to that kind of pain again, regardless of the sacrifices involved.
    Last edited by GoJenGo; 04-17-2013, 02:47 PM.
    Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.

    - Robert Louis Stevenson

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    • #17
      Sounds pretty familiar. I still find myself doing it almost everyday. Not really don't it, but THINKING it. "Oh, this will be so much easier when I'm down in weight." Which, is honestly true. I guess the difference this time is that I actually AM losing weight. This poor woman is still lost the CW weight loss sea.
      The process is simple: Free your mind, and your ass will follow.

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      • #18
        I did not read the article but I'm sure it contains all the thoughts I've had in my own head since I was a little child. It doesn't help when people like some of these younger men who push starch and bro science come on here and reinforce it with the whole CICO thing. I truly believe we get fat(ter) and sick when we eat too little and try to cheat on eating less with low calorie, low nutrient foods. I have reached a point where I understand this is what I am, always have been and always will be. I still don't like it that I am fatter than most women in the gym and not stronger than them to make up for it, but I am what I am. This is as good as it gets. I may as well just live life to the fullest right now.
        Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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        • #19
          It's very sad indeed that we define beauty as being at a lower weight.

          We went out for burgers this weekend, and there was a very thin woman who looked very sad, sallow and unattractive. I don't know if she was sick or what, but I didn't think pretty at all. There was another mom with an envious body and 4 kids, she was not having much fun and also didn't strike me as pretty. Meanwhile there was a heavier woman, very much a plus size, nicely dressed, hair done, make up on, big smile, having a ball. She struck me as pretty and likely a fun date! The people with her were clearly enjoying her company!

          A lot more goes into beauty than thin thighs. The irony is that the quest for thin thighs often robs us of the other things that make us pretty. The energy and joy and pretty hair and skin.

          This is getting just, well stupid. This obsession with weight. I looked at my arms last night and cried. My legs too. My scale makes me mad. Yet yesterday, I made it through a brutal WOD at Crossfit. I put on a dress this morning that makes me look like an hourglass, even the 22 year old in the office thinks I look hot in it.

          Nikitakolata, I saw your pic on the etsy site. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. Talk to men and dance and let someone else man the purses.

          http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
          Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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          • #20
            Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
            Nikitakolata, I saw your pic on the etsy site. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. Talk to men and dance and let someone else man the purses.
            You are sweet. The unfortunate thing is that that picture is from when I was at my lowest weight (the day before my wedding). I wish I still looked like that. To get to that weight I took phentermine twice a day and went to the gym twice a day. I wish I had maintained it, but after a year at that pace I was just too burned out. Darn, right?

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            • #21
              This morning I got on the scale and weighed 146.6, up 1.6 pounds since yesterday, even though yesterday I had eaten nothing but 350 calories of potatoes. Durn. Then I looked in the mirror and saw my abs. I realize I say to myself "You look great for a woman of 57" every day, but truly I looked different.

              Seriously, I was such a wallflower before. It was all my own doing. People saw what I was projecting.

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              • #22
                Cierra, that was beautiful and heartbreaking to read. Thank you.
                No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated with any other means.
                -Maimonodies

                The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.

                Babes with BBQ

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                • #23
                  I hear you Cierra, but I don't think it's vanity that drives us to it. I think it's perfectionism and the fear of not being good enough. We've been told that skinny is the ideal, so to gain acceptance anorexic perfectionists do what most people can't and starve themselves to the unrealistic ideal.

                  I have done crazy things similar to the article, and it's really sad. I've chosen not to go out with friends and have fun with my family because I binged the night before and they would see how fat I was. That is insane. I'm insane around food, I know I am. It destroys any clear thinking I have. I long to ditch the random number on the scale that rules my life and tells me if it's a good or a bad day. But I'm too scared of getting fat, which means I'm scared of what other people think of me because I don't accept myself.

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                  • #24
                    Cierra and VW, I totally get what you mean. I think part of it was so much emphasis is placed on beauty from the time a girl is born, and it's like if we're not beautiful, we're nothing. And we can't control our faces, but we can control our bodies (somewhat! not me, currently )

                    I've also wasted so much time feeling fat / being depressed and unable to get out of bed cos' I binged. I look in the mirror, see new wrinkles forming, and I fear the reflection the future might bring.

                    As the article said - we need to embrace this moment of life, because we we're aiming for might never arrive, and we'll end our lives regretting that we didn't live them.

                    “Man surprised me most about humanity.Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.
                    Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
                    - The Dalai Lama
                    Anyway, with cholesterol like mine I should really start partying again... I'm clearly doomed anyway My numbers were a lot better and I was thinner back then too, ha
                    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                    - Ray Peat

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                    • #25
                      You know what? I've been into this diet stuff for a year now. All that's happened in that time is that I've gained 14 lbs, my choletserol has gone through the roof, I've gotten loads more wrinkles and I might have a thyroid condition. What the hell am I doing to myself? I'm seriously thinking that I should go back to eating bread and oats and just forget all this stuff. I was healthier without it.
                      "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                      In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                      - Ray Peat

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                        You know what? I've been into this diet stuff for a year now. All that's happened in that time is that I've gained 14 lbs, my choletserol has gone through the roof, I've gotten loads more wrinkles and I might have a thyroid condition. What the hell am I doing to myself? I'm seriously thinking that I should go back to eating bread and oats and just forget all this stuff. I was healthier without it.
                        You should. It's not worth it if you have to think about it so much, honestly. Every truly healthy person I know isn't dieting.

                        Humans feasting on grains for at least 100,000 years | Observations, Scientific American Blog Network

                        And, honestly, when I eat grains and other junk food that I like(red bulls, donuts omg apple fritters are so good, french toast, oats, peanut butter, chiptole burritos) my hair becomes so much more vibrant it's absurd. It also gets rid of that social outcasting when you're free to go out for pizza, coffee, etc; with other people without having to say "oh I don't eat that cause I'm on a paleo diet and I can only eat meat and veggies"
                        Make America Great Again

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                          You should. It's not worth it if you have to think about it so much, honestly. Every truly healthy person I know isn't dieting.

                          Humans feasting on grains for at least 100,000 years | Observations, Scientific American Blog Network

                          And, honestly, when I eat grains and other junk food that I like(red bulls, donuts omg apple fritters are so good, french toast, oats, peanut butter, chiptole burritos) my hair becomes so much more vibrant it's absurd. It also gets rid of that social outcasting when you're free to go out for pizza, coffee, etc; with other people without having to say "oh I don't eat that cause I'm on a paleo diet and I can only eat meat and veggies"
                          You know, I was craving sugar insanely about three days ago: I ended up drinking about eight tea spoons worth in tea. And I shit you not - since yesterday my hair looks fantastic (for me). I actually even took a pic of it I was so happy! Only difference was the sugar.

                          Anyway, I don't actually miss bread or oats, but I've got so many limitations on what I eat - I'm sick of it. No PUFA (nuts / fish / avos / chicken / pork), no cous cous, no pasta. No soya sauce, ever?

                          I need to sleep on this.

                          In the interim:
                          "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                          In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                          - Ray Peat

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                            You know, I was craving sugar insanely about three days ago: I ended up drinking about eight tea spoons worth in tea. And I shit you not - since yesterday my hair looks fantastic (for me). I actually even took a pic of it I was so happy! Only difference was the sugar.

                            Anyway, I don't actually miss bread or oats, but I've got so many limitations on what I eat - I'm sick of it. No PUFA (nuts / fish / avos / chicken / pork), no cous cous, no pasta. No soya sauce, ever?

                            I need to sleep on this.

                            In the interim:
                            Fabulous hair would run hand through

                            I missed pie and donuts and various bakery treats, so I ate them. And soy sauce isn't so bad, it's a good source of sodium too.
                            Make America Great Again

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                              Fabulous hair would run hand through

                              I missed pie and donuts and various bakery treats, so I ate them. And soy sauce isn't so bad, it's a good source of sodium too.


                              Soy sauce is okay??? Wow.

                              You know, I realised this yesterday with my mum. She's been sick for about 31 years (since I was born), and has spent the last 15 years travelling around countries to see different specialist. She's on more and more medication and they keep finding new things wrong with her (latest is a lump on her spine )

                              I almost think that going to the docs has made her sicker. When you channel negative energy into something it ends up becoming a reality. Maybe that's why some people thrive on Primal. They really embrace it whereas people like me are probably projecting a lot of baggage onto it.
                              "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                              In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                              - Ray Peat

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                I think very few people thrive on a restricted diet of any kind. Cut out the seed oils and corn/soy derivatives and everything else is basically a wash.

                                Cierra, i absolutely encourage you to eat whatever you want in whatever quantities you want for however long you want. There are few things as liberating after coming off a strict diet mindset.

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