Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Sex and Primal relationships

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    i've met guys who weren't all that interested in sex and it made me not want to pursue relationships with them.

    you're just not meeting guys who want what you do right now.

    eta: oh, and plenty of aboriginal people are not hung up on monogamy, nor is female "promiscuity" looked down upon. they're allowed to be autonomous with their bodies, without everybody around slut-shaming them because of stoopid western patriarchy judgi-ness.
    Last edited by noodletoy; 03-18-2013, 08:29 AM.
    As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

    Ernest Hemingway

    Comment


    • #17
      Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
      I can't fathom committing to being with someone with whom I might not be sexually compatible. I don't think it's immoral or unfair to consider the sexual aspect of a relationship important, and I personally resent any implication to that effect.
      Well said and I agree.
      Depression Lies

      Comment


      • #18
        He promise to call you back OP?

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by Susie View Post
          No, but is it unreasonable to not want to be taken on a test drive before the person decides if they want to be with you?
          Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
          I can't fathom committing to being with someone with whom I might not be sexually compatible. I don't think it's immoral or unfair to consider the sexual aspect of a relationship important, and I personally resent any implication to that effect.
          I think you guys are talking about different things. I don't think Susie is saying that a person should wait til they're married to have sex - just that she would prefer if the guy had honourable intentions. Then the cards can fall where they may.

          Originally posted by Legbiter View Post
          He promise to call you back OP?
          I had the same feeling..!
          "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

          In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

          - Ray Peat

          Comment


          • #20
            Originally posted by noodletoy View Post
            you're just not meeting guys who want what you do right now.
            Yessss. I met a guy once who was only interested in getting married and starting a family, and while he was a great guy, I wasn't at that stage in my life and refused to date him because I knew we wouldn't be happy together.

            Also sexual compatibility is incredibly important to me, I would never make a life-long commitment to someone without knowing something so intimate and important for happiness in a healthy couple. Likewise, living together before marriage is also important to me. I like monogamy, but I'm gonna make sure it's with someone I've got a future with.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
              I can't fathom committing to being with someone with whom I might not be sexually compatible. I don't think it's immoral or unfair to consider the sexual aspect of a relationship important, and I personally resent any implication to that effect.
              This.

              While there is more to a relationship than sex, it's a VERY big component, to me at least. If we don't click sexually and it's in a way that can't really be improved, I'm sorry, but we're done. I have a very large libido. If we just aren't compatible sexually and it's expected to be completely monogamous, it doesn't matter how well we click in other areas, we wont work.

              I'm all for a woman not wanting to sleep with a guy on the first date. Or even second or third. But if it won't happen within the first few months....and, unless monogamy is brought up in conversation, I don't expect monogamy, from either side, until sex has occurred, to be honest.

              Comment


              • #22
                Originally posted by Susie View Post
                I have recently been thinking over sex in the context of primitive survival. A female, especially with a child, without a male protector, would not survive. Females would have needed to make sure that they had a partner who was going to stick around before mating. Fathers and uncles and brothers would know this and beat to a pulp anyone who tried to do otherwise. So why then, does it seem that so many males want to spread their seed far and wide? Why is it so hard to find a guy who will not require sex in order to decide if he wants a realtionship?
                So what do you have against sex?

                Comment


                • #23
                  Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                  just that she would prefer if the guy had honourable intentions.
                  She wants him to commit to being "with" her without letting him get "with" her. It's extortion.
                  The Champagne of Beards

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    She wants him to commit to being "with" her without letting him get "with" her. It's extortion.
                    And honestly, before birth control, it made a lot of sense. Now sex is more about recreation than procreation. And well, if sex is just about procreation for you, you don't want a guy for whom sex is recreation, LOL!

                    I think this is another thing that is more cultural than biological or related back to cavemen. Bottom line, other women put out, the guy can get it elsewhere, so it is not worth it for him to commit to you since he can try before he buys elsewhere.

                    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
                      I can't fathom committing to being with someone with whom I might not be sexually compatible. I don't think it's immoral or unfair to consider the sexual aspect of a relationship important, and I personally resent any implication to that effect.
                      so very true.

                      to the OP, how do you define relationship? its obvious that you aren't hopping in the sack after the first date. but after a month of dating? 2 months? 3 months? do you have a set "rule?" and if so, why? why does there have to be an arbitrary number of dates/months/etc before sex is an option? why do people repress their sexual desires so badly? if you are attracted to a guy, then sleep with him. if he is doing his best to sweet-talk you out of your clothes, and you arent interested in it, then don't.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                        Bottom line, other women put out, the guy can get it elsewhere, so it is not worth it for him to commit to you since he can try before he buys elsewhere.
                        /thread.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                          And honestly, before birth control, it made a lot of sense.
                          before pulling out was invented?
                          The Champagne of Beards

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Thanks for all the ideas and opinions. This is not about me. I am married and I do not have a problem with sex, nor do I believe it is only about procreation. Sex is definitely fun and important to a relationship and I did not say anything about a life-long commitment. I have seen several young ladies' lives turned upside down because of getting pregnant and the guy wants nothing to do with it. I, myself, have gotten pregnant even when using birth control due to equipment failure. A good friend, who is a virgin, is what prompted my rant. She had been seeing a guy for two weeks and was not ready for sex, though she really liked the guy and wanted to continue seeing him. He would not continue without sex. The first time is especially important. I would think a guy could understand that.

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by RichMahogany View Post
                              She wants him to commit to being "with" her without letting him get "with" her. It's extortion.
                              Ha!

                              I could be wrong, but I read the OPs post differently though. Not that she wanted a ring on her finger before they jumped in the sack - just that he was open to a relationship developing?

                              Let me put it like this:

                              Option one: You meet someone and one of you is not up for a relationship. You / they make it pretty clear at the outset that you / they aren't in it for the long haul, and then you either become lovers or not.

                              Option two: You meet someone and you are both open to being in a relationship. Sex happens soon or not-so-soon, but either way both of you are curious about the other and think this has potential.

                              Option three: You meet someone and you think they want a relationship with you, but actually they don't. They just want to shag you. You sleep together, they leave, the end.

                              I'm guessing that the OP is talking about an option three situation, and is saying option two is preferable.
                              "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                              In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                              - Ray Peat

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                In a lot of ways, I got lucky when I met my husband. We've been married almost 16 yrs this May and still to this day, he will tell people that I am the most beautiful, sweet, sexy woman he's ever met. I still feel the same about him. I cannot imagine my life without him and I don't want to. We are the rarity in this world. We got married in 1997 and of all the couples we know who got married around the same time we did, which was around 8, we're the only ones still together. We've had our issues and our share of fights but that is what makes us stronger and as of late, the sex is actually getting better. I think there is something to be said for monogamy.
                                Georgette

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X