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Non-Primal Significant Others

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    "Eat what I say when I say to or get out."
    I am not my husband's dictator. I am his wife and partner. I wouldn't want him to dictate what/when/how I eat, and I respect him as a person and ADULT not to do the same to him.

    That said, he is supportive of my primal life. He will generally eat what I cook, or cook primal for me, but he does keep some special things around for himself. And he'll eat whatever the hell he wants if we're at a restaurant. Also, he's not very diligent about feeding the kids a primal diet, either. Although he's always been thin, he has lots of fond memories attached to food from his childhood. He insists on doing the same things with our kids (giving them chocolate milk before bed, for example). Again, I don't fight him too much because he is also their parent--the other half of this team--and he is mostly on board with what I want to feed the kids.

    I'd say I'm more 80/20 primal, and he and the kids are more 60/40.
    Female, 40 yrs old, 5', 120 lbs (post-pregnancy)
    Went Primal January 2, 2012!

    Paleo Cooking for Cavekids cookbook


    • #17
      I don't like the idea of my wife controlling my decisions either but if she said "eat this" I assuredly would.

      I was pointing out that in general men can't mistreat women because they are relatively valueless and replaceable, but women can do whatever to their man, because women are scarcer, more valuable, and less replaceable. Just drawing the OP's attention to her position in the dynamic.
      "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

      Jack london, "Before Adam"


      • #18
        I converted my husband through constant humming.....I had lots of health issues I was skinny fat (no muscle tone) as well as fat fat.....digestive issues (foodintolerance) no energy migraines you name it was obvious I needed to do something and through a suggestion that I avoid wheat on another forum I found MDA and havent looked back.

        I would buy books and devour them....and then give them to hubby...i read and read marks website and kept sending him all sorts of links and eventually he thought....mmmm...Elizabeth keeps reading this stuff....then he saw my health improve....and thought I feel ok....but had a few small niggerly things about his health....then he noticed his energy levels at the gym would fluctuate and we managed to link it to foods he decided to follow me into primal.......he thought...what the cant hurt me. His health benefits improved so quickly (well he wasnt in as bad shape as me to start with) and he hasnt looked back.

        It has been so good to have him finally on my side and we encourage each other to stay on the diet and it has been really terrific for our relationship as it is something so positive we do together.

        So for those of you out there who are frustrated by partners who dont get it.....just hummmm.....dont nag......just hummmm like i does work.


        • #19
          My fiance is decidedly un-primal, and an avowed vegetable hater. I discovered primal last year, while he was living across the country on a job assignment. He returned home just before the start of this year, and I still remember the look on his face when he went to the pantry for something to eat- priceless!

          Since then, we've gotten along fairly well diet-wise. He has no interest in becoming primal (yet), but because I am the cook in our house he eats primal dinners most nights of the week by default. My one concession is I will often try to include potatoes, sweet potatoes, or squash of some sort, as those are the veggies he likes the most. He has tried more types of vegetables in the last couple of months than he has had in the previous 30+ years. I have started taking pictures of him eating veggies to send to his grandma, who has always given him a hard time about his poor eating. His whole family is amazed!

          It breaks down like this: Neither of us eats breakfast generally, and we both make our own lunches. He makes a sad little processed turkey and processed cheese sandwich or pb&j on white bread, and has chips on the side, while I usually have eggs and leftover meats, or eggs and my greens soup. Dinner is a meat and two veggies, one starchy. I tell him sincerely that he is always free to make something else for dinner, but he hasn't yet. He has enjoyed some of the primal treats I have made up, including the paleo cinnabon doughnuts from TGIPaleo, and the bacon/sunbutter stuffed frozen bananas from the Civilized Caveman, but of course can't have those every day (darn it!). I am holding out hope that he will gradually shift to this way of eating, but I know better than to try and force the issue.

          On a related note, if anyone has any tips for convincing overweight parents to join the primal lifestyle I'd love to hear them. Both my parents are overweight, and both lament the fact and talk about "doing something" but rarely do. My mom has tried one of those medical weight-loss diets with the pre-packaged foods, I'm sure everyone can guess the results. The last couple of times I have visited I have made primal meals for them, which they have enjoyed, but they still think it is too restrictive- argh! I am fortunate that so far they are both healthy (no diabetes, no high blood pressure, no high cholesterol), but I am especially worried about my mom, as my uncle (her brother) was diagnosed with diabetes a couple of years ago.

          Looking forward to keeping this thread going!


          • #20
            My husband is not Primal and thinks it wrong in nearly every way. (Whaaat? Because eating veggies and meat is wrong??)He thinks I consume too much fat and eat too much red meat. He's not a fan of fish. He doesn't like most veggies (maybe green beans, occasionally asparagus, loves the corn [um, honey, that's a grain]). He will not give up pasta or bread or Taco Hell or Arby's or ice cream or chips and dip or...And now the kids are becoming more difficult to convince. They are 12, 11, and 7. They do, at least, understand me a bit more and are more willing to listen and eat better foods. They still like their Cheez-its and chips but I can more easily convince them to eat like me. The youngest is really picky so I have given a half-hearted okay to fish sticks (I try to sometimes make homemade ones and sneak them into the box; he's not caught on yet), but he is happy to eat apples and bananas all day. And yogurt (I buy a more fat European brand even though it has sugar in it, but not HFCS). And cheese like crazy (I buy the good cheese).

            The older two kids love steak, salmon, chicken, turkey, especially steak! I can get away with serving just a veggies with it, but they do like corn as well. I will also make homemade mashed potatoes on occasion. The boy (11) has bacon, eggs, and spinach a few times each week for breakfast. Sometimes just the better yogurt. The girl (12) will eat watermelon, cantaloupe, grapes and apples like there's no tomorrow. Bananas too. I've resigned myself to accepting that they like to buy school lunch (to fit in) but at least I can get them to eat better most of the time. Both boys actually seem to like to listen about how foods affect us, and the older boy has been checking up with me on my switch to a Whole30 Primal-style this week.

            Maybe my husband will be more interested in Primal once I finally show off what it LOOKS like to follow Primal. I've been not very Primal lately, since moving back to the US and falling into the SAD food trap too often. When I can show fat loss through food (he is convinced it's calories in/calories out only; he runs a lot, A LOT, but still has no definition to show for his running and military required fitness) and normal levels of exercise that can fit a healthy lifestyle, maybe he'll come around.

            I admit, I can get very food-snobby. I have tried to keep it cool since he pointed that out. I hate hearing about the need for whole grains and low fat as much as he hates hearing about organic and more veggies and no HFCS and unpronounceables. I do admit, though, I sometimes resent his buying the kids soda and chips and candy when they ask for it. And sometimes I think he does it just to get under my skin. This could be a long term issue if I don't make some marked improvements in appearance and bloodwork to help him understand my POV.

            Wow, long. Thanks for reading!
            Starting weight: 168 lbs
            Current weight: 168 lbs
            Goal weight: whatever makes me look strong and healthy!

            Current goal: No More Muffin Top!!
            a real pushup, a real pull-up, weekly sprints

            Visit my journal:' Place for Primal Rantings...because everyone else thinks she's nuts


            • #21
              My husband is not primal because he loves beer.
              I'm beginning to wish he had remained vegetarian as he has a love for expensive meats apparently. Chicken breast? OH HELL NO. Duck? Yummy, and he takes the leftovers. Lamb? He'll eat 3-4 servings. Chuck roast? OH HELL NO. Hamburger? MEH, MAYBE NOT. Kobe Filet? Oh please, sweetheart, can I have another one?

              Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!