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Is it really love if it's unrequited?

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  • Is it really love if it's unrequited?

    I just got back from "Les Miserable". Unrequited love is one of its themes.

    Made me think - is "love" really love if it's not expressed and experienced two-ways? If someone doesn't love you in return, then do you truly know who they are enough to love them? Is it possible to know someone's soul from a distance, or is it a projection of your ideals and fears? Is unrequited love: love, infatuation, or just self-sabotage?

    Thoughts on a postcard please
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  • #2
    I'm in the boring and unromantic school of thought of this shit's all brain chemistry evolved over millions of years to help trick our bodies into doing things that optimize the ability of our genes to replicate themselves. No "ghost-in-the-machine," no "soul," no "soul mate," no "true love" in the Princess Bride sense. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
    The Champagne of Beards

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    • #3
      If we're talking about romantic love, I would say yes. But seeing as unrequited is the only kind I've ever felt, I'm probably talking out my ass.

      EDIT: I mean, I've got nothing to compare it to. But I felt it. At risk of sounding confrontational when I don't really mean to be, who is anyone to tell me I didn't feel what I felt?
      Last edited by Violette_R; 02-21-2013, 06:13 PM.

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      • #4
        I "love" my laptop. Or is it infatuation? Or self-sabotage?
        Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

        Griff's cholesterol primer
        5,000 Cal Fat <> 5,000 Cal Carbs
        Winterbike: What I eat every day is what other people eat to treat themselves.
        TQP: I find for me that nutrition is much more important than what I do in the gym.
        bloodorchid is always right

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        • #5
          Originally posted by magicmerl View Post
          I "love" my laptop. Or is it infatuation? Or self-sabotage?
          Pairbonding instinct.
          The Champagne of Beards

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          • #6
            Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
            I just got back from "Les Miserable". Unrequited love is one of its themes.

            Made me think - is "love" really love if it's not expressed and experienced two-ways? If someone doesn't love you in return, then do you truly know who they are enough to love them? Is it possible to know someone's soul from a distance, or is it a projection of your ideals and fears? Is unrequited love: love, infatuation, or just self-sabotage?

            Thoughts on a postcard please
            Unrequited love is a bunch of fanciful thinking... most often in the wrong direction!
            Unlike the movies it usually turns out to be a comedy of errors.
            Such silliness we make up when we assume to know our "true love" from a far.
            It's bunk!
            Run away...
            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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            • #7
              Your soulmate isn't the one who can love you the most, but the one who can make you feel the most.

              I shared this with you before:

              "it's very rare for a relationship to withstand the Earth's gravitational pull and where it's going to take people and how they're going to grow. I've heard it said that you can't really have a true love unless it was a love unrequited. It's a harsh one, because then your truest one is the one you can't have forever."

              Limerence and unrequited love are different things.
              Make America Great Again

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              • #8
                I would say absolutely that love doesn't have to be returned to be love.

                A parent loves their baby from the moment they are born- we have no idea at what point the baby loves the parent back. It's still love.

                A person can love another person- in a romantic sense or not- and the love is genuine and real whether it's returned or not. Or how about after someone dies? They can no longer love you back- does it mean you all of a sudden don't love them anymore? I think not.
                High Weight: 225
                Weight at start of Primal: 189
                Current Weight: 174
                Goal Weight: 130

                Primal Start Date: 11/26/2012

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                • #9
                  In terms of Les Mis: Unrequited love means a person falling in love with another person VISUALLY from afar, but not ever meeting that person, but "in LOOOOOOVE" with them. Like totally "knows their soul" in love... for like a year. *nods*


                  Why has Taylor Swift NOT written THIS song?
                  It makes more sense that that Romeo & Juliet travesty...



                  Loving a baby who you touch and hold and communicate with(on some level)... and Continuing to love a person after they die is not really the same IMO.
                  Last edited by cori93437; 02-21-2013, 06:56 PM.
                  “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                  ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                  And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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                  • #10
                    Reminds me of one of my favorite Red House Painters songs

                    Red House Painters - Bubble - YouTube

                    In a particular emotion state, it's possible, and it's still love. Unrequited love is a much broader subject than what's in Les Mis.
                    Make America Great Again

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                    • #11
                      i think unrequited love is possible, and can be a true and heartfelt emotion

                      unless it's cause you just like looking at them from across the street, that's just stalking
                      beautiful
                      yeah you are

                      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                      lol

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                      • #12
                        Stalking shows you really love them
                        Make America Great Again

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                        • #13
                          why say it with flowers when you can say it by creeping outside her window?
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

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                          • #14
                            Unrequited love is an intense feeling: longing, desire.

                            Love is actually quite different in overall feeling -- in my experience. I've experienced both.

                            So, I would say, No, unrequited love is not love. It is longing.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by EagleRiverDee View Post

                              A parent loves their baby from the moment they are born- we have no idea at what point the baby loves the parent back. It's still love.
                              Not true for me. I did not love my child the moment they were born, but I did love my child the moment they were born. I guess it depends on how love is defined. if it about a feeling then I did not love my child until a few months went by. If it is about doing something for the other person that is in their best interest, then I did love my baby by feeding him, touching him (cause I heard that was a good thing to do for brain development), and taking care of his needs.

                              The love feeling? I don't trust that at all, it is very deceiving.
                              Female, age 51, 5' 9"
                              SW - 183 (Jan 22, 2012), CW - 159, GW - healthy.

                              Met my 2012 goals by losing 24 pounds.
                              2013 goals are to get fit and strong!

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