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  • #91
    Originally posted by Ayla2010 View Post
    Not for me.
    which did you experience?
    beautiful
    yeah you are

    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
    lol

    Comment


    • #92
      Originally posted by jojohaligo View Post
      Yup, I am alive and don't suffer depression or other ailments as a result and I am fairly happy. My siblings have not fared as well.

      To acknowledge the difference, he beat us and he spanked us, but when you are the kid in the midst of it, there is really no difference. It all reads the same.
      Same boat.
      Beat and spanked... and there wasn't a clear distinction in my home either.

      But if you asked many who spank where the line is, their line for what is an acceptable spanking may be VERY different that yours.
      Their "spanking" may be your "beating". Or vice versa.

      In my father's view a spanking wasn't effective unless it had elicited some response from the victim.
      And I'm aware that this is common with most people who spank.
      However, after my mother's death, when I was 7, I became pretty emotionally shut down... and any sort of violence completely shut me off. Thus I was mute and completely non-reactive even thought I felt it all.
      At various times I was "spanked" by hand, with belts (both thin and thick, including the buckle ends), with wire cords, with green hickory switches that still had sharp spines where the side twigs were cut away that broke the skin and caused bleeding, with that old thick yellowy latex rubber surgical tubing(good god that shit was wicked), etc.

      And those were the "spankings", as in lashing to my ass for a "reason"... not the spontaneous beatings that seemed to happen for no real reason that I could discern or if I could discern the reason at least one I could not understand, and probably included getting hit in the face or choked.

      And while I don't know many people who were beat like me, as in hit/punched... most of the people I grew up with, and many of my friends over the years, have all shared stories of the implements that they were "spanked" with, and how often marks including bruises were left behind.
      I'm pretty sure that a good portion of the time "spanking" crosses the line.
      Last edited by cori93437; 02-11-2013, 07:17 PM.
      “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
      ~Friedrich Nietzsche
      And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

      Comment


      • #93
        i can count on one hand the number of times i was spanked, and the anticipation was worse than the experience

        in my area, verbal and emotional abuse are the 'norm'. one experience cannot color all experience. spanking is not beating.

        i have emotional issues from many experiences in my life, spanking is not one of them. spanking is actually the nicer experience. i was not warped and will not turn into an abusive beast who slaps, throws and screams at any child i may have
        Last edited by bloodorchid; 02-11-2013, 07:19 PM.
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

        Comment


        • #94
          No sorry, maybe I didn't word it correctly.

          I know for ME, the only time I have wanted to smack is when I am angry, and I can see how doing it in this situation, can lead to more if a person was not able to stop themselves. And yes I have seen it happen, and had it happen to me.

          Look there probably are people who can just do just a smack, but I have not see this myself or experienced it growing up.

          Isn't the point of a smack to make the child fear doing it again? Why does making them afraid to do it again seem the right thing to do? What about them learning to not want to because they know its not the right thing to do, and they actually want to do the right thing?

          I am sorry, I don't want to argue. I am trying to understand where other people are coming from.
          I just see fear as the reason for doing this.

          For those who were smacked, were you not afraid to do the wrong thing? Is that not why you say it "worked"?

          Comment


          • #95
            Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
            which did you experience?
            All.
            It was occasionally just a "smack" but since it was always done in anger it often, and I mean often it lead to way more, as the person doing it was not able to stop.

            Like I said, some may stop at a tap. And that is good.

            Id like to hear from someone who smacked while calm and rational and not angry. Or did you use some other method because of not being angry?

            Comment


            • #96
              And it was not just one experience sadly. I witnessed many, and experienced many.

              This thread is really scaring me actually. And bringing back many memories.

              Comment


              • #97
                If you are smacking your child out of anger you are doing it wrong. Spanking should be done when you are calm and rational. You are not hitting them to make yourself feel better. You are spanking them as a consequence to an action. You seem to think it is different from what you do - it is but isn't. Ideally a parent would discuss why what the child did was wrong, get them to understand they should not do it again, and spank them as a consequence. Kind of like a judge says, "Mr. Canio, you were speeding. This is why you shouldn't do that. Oh, this is your fine." He isn't screaming at me or throwing the gavel.

                Now do parents f*ck this up? Of course they do. That is because most people should not be allowed to breed. Most should just be sterilized. My wife grew up in a country where spanking was illegal, was never spanked in her life, yet, she was sexually abused for years and emotionally abused to the point that child protective services removed her from her home.

                Abusers abuse no matter what.

                Comment


                • #98
                  Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                  i can count on one hand the number of times i was spanked, and the anticipation was worse than the experience

                  in my area, verbal and emotional abuse are the 'norm'. one experience cannot color all experience. spanking is not beating.
                  What I'm saying is that there are many people out there who just plain don't know the difference.
                  Every "spanking" my father doled out was completely calm and rationally explained. Yet left bruises and occasionally blood.

                  And remember... the OP of this thread was actually advocating smacking a child in the face.
                  Yeah he did that in another thread, but that was the impetus that started this topic.
                  Last edited by cori93437; 02-11-2013, 07:26 PM.
                  “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                  ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                  And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                    If you are smacking your child out of anger you are doing it wrong. Spanking should be done when you are calm and rational. You are not hitting them to make yourself feel better. You are spanking them as a consequence to an action. You seem to think it is different from what you do - it is but isn't. Ideally a parent would discuss why what the child did was wrong, get them to understand they should not do it again, and spank them as a consequence. Kind of like a judge says, "Mr. Canio, you were speeding. This is why you shouldn't do that. Oh, this is your fine." He isn't screaming at me or throwing the gavel.

                    Now do parents f*ck this up? Of course they do. That is because most people should not be allowed to breed. Most should just be sterilized. My wife grew up in a country where spanking was illegal, was never spanked in her life, yet, she was sexually abused for years and emotionally abused to the point that child protective services removed her from her home.

                    Abusers abuse no matter what.
                    This is my experience with any form of hitting. Only done in anger.

                    I have asked if anyone does it calmly, so waiting to see that.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                      What I'm saying is that there are many people out there who just plain don't know the difference.

                      And remember... the OP of this thread was actually advocating smacking a child in the face.
                      Yeah he did that in another thread, but that was the impetus that started this topic.
                      Yes exactly. Good on those who do. I just believe their a better way, as it still makes the child fear doing it again. Sure it gets the results sometimes, but does it have to involve fear?

                      Yes I did not think my thread would cause this

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                        What I'm saying is that there are many people out there who just plain don't know the difference.
                        Every "spanking" my father doled out was completely calm and rationally explained. Yet left bruises and occasionally blood.

                        And remember... the OP of this thread was actually advocating smacking a child in the face.
                        Yeah he did that in another thread, but that was the impetus that started this topic.
                        and we have people here who seriously asked if we'd slam a kid into the wall or punch them

                        it's a little 'out there' and offensive

                        one person on another thread said smack the brat
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Ayla2010 View Post
                          Yes exactly. Good on those who do. I just believe their a better way, as it still makes the child fear doing it again. Sure it gets the results sometimes, but does it have to involve fear?

                          Yes I did not think my thread would cause this
                          ideally this thread would have turned into a conversation on parenting tactics and what was and was not effective for their child

                          that would have been nice
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • I never asked if anyone would do that. I am just saying a smack in anger, CAN lead to other things. Ive had it happen to me and seen it happen.
                            Thats all.

                            Its great if there is anyone out there who smacked calmly and rationally, but I am just not sure why if you were calm and rational you would just talk through the problem instead.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                              ideally this thread would have turned into a conversation on parenting tactics and what was and was not effective for their child

                              that would have been nice
                              I guess.
                              But I am sure I am not the only one shaking in fear with all the memories that are coming up when people are saying its ok to hit their kids. I only see any form of hitting as abuse. Maybe if I had experienced just the odd smack, maybe it would be different.

                              Look I said I didn't want to argue, but I just can't agree that its OK.

                              If its OK why is it illegal in nz to smack your kids?

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Ayla2010 View Post
                                If its OK why is it illegal in nz to smack your kids?
                                Why is raw milk illegal here? Why is it illegal to grow vegetables in the front yard in some places in FL? Why a lot of things? Someone in the government thinks they know better. Perhaps they do in this case, but why is it illegal is a pretty weak argument.

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