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  • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i'm related to some brats that take joy in being mean

    brats is harsh. they're sweet. sometimes.
    Oh that sucks, I hope I don't come across people like that, but I guess they must be out there since you know some

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    • My mom said she was the one who raised us then she was the one to punish us. Dad was absent parent in formative years I believe he returned home when I was in 3rd grade. She only allowed grandmother because she babysat for free. Grandmother was old school "spare the rod spoil the child." mindset.

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      • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
        I find that children like that have usually been trained to act that way by their parents through either negative or irregular reinforcement.
        Don't blame the kids. It's the adults who are raising them that need the "swat".
        granted, the parents aren't perfect, but they (like a lot of kids) will lie to your face after you watch them do something they know they aren't supposed to

        they try to kick and punch and laugh. even after a talking to. even after a spank. they get put in time out? they whine and lie and lie some more

        for a people watcher, it's interesting and amusing to watch
        beautiful
        yeah you are

        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
        lol

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        • I was spanked a few times as a child. At some point, around first grade I think, my parents stopped doing it. I’m not sure if it was because they felt I was too old, or if they felt it was wrong. When it did happen, it was a relatively mild affair and I never felt afraid or intimidated by my parents.

          In talking with some people I know with advanced degrees in psychology and such, most are in agreement that spanking is an ineffectual behavior modification tool unless the child is attempting to do something that is putting them in serious physical danger. For example, if a child is attempting to run into a busy intersection, a hard slap on the face might be the best option to prevent a tragedy and teach them a potentially lifesaving lesson.

          Therefore, I can see how physical punishment has a place in child rearing, if such research is accurate. But I think the trend is overall against it.
          Started 9/5/11 at 212lb
          Last weigh in 12/10/11 at 188lb
          Goal: 160

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          • Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
            Yeah, sorry if it came across that way. I really do wish you the best. I want everyone's kids to turn out great. We need some better adults in this world
            same. I am just kinda baffled that people are treating a smack in the face as some kind of horrible abuse...(I don't think that I ever was by my parents except like a wrist swat halfhearted thing).

            If you aren't winding up and planting your feet and shit with ahab malice, it's not possible to do anything that isn't healed in a day. It's only purpose in our evolution is to trigger violent impulses and to mingle them in an implied-combat-potential setting to form subordination to violence. It's all in the mind.

            The point is that after the slap, you tell them that this is violence. Know that it is in the world and know that your feelings are the feelings you give people when you act violently. It is cheaper and a better return to party with everyone.

            I'm not advocating a habitual beating or violent domination of children.* But a lot of you are going on like the kid is supposed to understand why violence is bad just because mommy says. It's like trying to rationally impart to them the value of orgasm.

            *I do however advocate a more benevolent and yet natural means of imparting the implication that the adult is powerful, through interactive game and sport/combat education mammal play
            "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

            Jack london, "Before Adam"

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            • I don't want to be powerful over my children. They are not toys for me to control. They are people with feelings. I think controlling is a form of abuse too and yep experienced that too. Yep I've had some shit people in my life.
              I am breaking the cycle by not doing these things to my boys.
              So what if anyone thinks I'm crazy or ott I don't care

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              • Originally posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
                ..snipped...
                I get what you are saying. I just do not expect it to get much traction in modern parenting circles. Also, it is not always looked upon favorably by the powers-that-be. It is much like tossing your kid in the deep-end to teach them to swim. It is how my dad did it. It was find a way to stay afloat or drown (okay, he might not have let me drown). Such methods are generally frowned up especially in a community where so many persons apparently suffered at the hands of abusers.

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                • Everyone is abused- I thought that was the point. As you education children in violence, you have to expand their awareness of it, and that means turning the eye from the home and into the wide world; everything is forced on people when you look into it. I think the best way to start educating a kid in violence though is to be there when he experiences its effect in his mind, but when his body is safe.
                  "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

                  Jack london, "Before Adam"

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                  • haha and it's hard to follow along when there's no quote quoted. I am rambling.
                    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

                    Jack london, "Before Adam"

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                    • Originally posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
                      I am rambling.
                      Welcome to my world.

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                      • Mr perfidy I truly don't get what you are saying

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                        • Originally posted by Ayla2010 View Post
                          Mr perfidy I truly don't get what you are saying
                          The world is a shitty and violent place. People need to learn that. If they do not learn it as kids in a controlled, caring environment the world will eat them alive.

                          That seems to be the short version.

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                          • he's saying prepare the kids for the suckage of the real world
                            beautiful
                            yeah you are

                            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                            lol

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                            • lol about what?

                              My original point, based on my impression from your other thread, was that violence can't just be an idea to your son. You can't just use words to describe or assign value to things that are by virtue of their experience rationalized immediately- the way you are talking, "violence" to your son is when he uses his body to solve problems, and it's something vague and mysterious that mommy doesn't like. That is pretty weak in the decision-making foundations of the mind compared to a memory of a whicked smack and the sound and pain and swelling and trembling and shit, maybe taste of blood. That informs the decision-making part of the brain more effectively than theoretical mommy words.

                              but I also said a lot of other crap haha. I said also that adults should impress upon children their power by way of sports and games and universal mammal mock combat athletics. It is vital to a kid's psyche to percieve fitness and strength and power as a property of adulthood I think. Physical violence accomplishes this but in a shitty and destructive way. Throwing kids in the pool or something works without destruction.
                              "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

                              Jack london, "Before Adam"

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                              • I don't think I need to hit him to prepare him for the world. No way.

                                Are you saying people who are never hit will have problems?

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