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The "Live like you will die today" cure.

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  • The "Live like you will die today" cure.

    So, I may have cured my anxiety/depression for a long while. I have 3 close family members with stage 4 cancer, This news has occurred within the past 2 months. The freedom that comes with realizing, seriously, that you could die at any time has hit home. The result is that I do what I enjoy more than I ever have before, but only things that won't hasten my death. The stress at work is gone, because if I lose my job, at least I'm not dead. Long line at the store? traffic? Rude stranger? Fuck them, who cares, I could die at any time. It's a very zen, "Dude" approach. When you are free of fear, when you are free of stress, you are finally free to enjoy what you have.

    So, if you knew you had a year to live, what would you do?
    Last edited by Rasputina; 01-15-2013, 07:27 PM.

  • #2
    Rasputina, this is so weird that you started this thread. I'm just implementing a slightly different, but very similar realisation. Last week I gave myself a death sentence - thinking: if this is my last year of life, how will I spend it?

    All of a sudden I realised what was important to me, and that life is too finite to spend it doing things that don't make me happy and beating myself up for not being the kind of person I think I should be. If I only had one year to live I wouldnt give a shit anymore - I would do exactly what I want, without hurting anyone.

    And it's weird, cos' since that realisation I feel such relief. It's like the pressure of being alive lifted from me. I am going to die and so there's really no point in worrying about "what I'm doing with my life". Most people don't "do anything" with theirs! I'm going to smell the fucking roses, I'm going to celebrate who I am in all my imperfectness, and I'm not going to stress about outcomes that may never occur.

    I'm really sorry to hear about your family btw. I lost two young friends in 2012, both very suddenly and tragically (one, 33, to liver cancer, which she was diagnosed with and then died 10 days later; and one, 29, who was murdered) and I know how earth rocking it is. But it seems that you are coming through it with resilience. That's the beauty of the human spirit. “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

    Hugs.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

    Comment


    • #3
      Rasputina and Yogabare I'm sorry to hear of your loosing loved ones. I too had to re-evaluate how I live my life when our son was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at 7. It caused DH and I to really examine how we were raising him and what our priorities were. We'd always been attentive and involved parents but after the diagnosis we learned to slow down and truly appreciate the time we have with DS. By that I mean letting go of per-conceived expectations and truly appreciate DS for who he is and letting him be that person. As a parent that's something worth doing whether your child is healthy or not. For us it led us to eventually unschool DS (his idea). None of us know how much time we have here. I am happy to say that DS is doing very well and as a family we enjoy each others company. I see so many families where the kids and parents are at odds; DS is now 14 and we don't have any of the typical struggles one expects with a teenager.
      Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

      Comment


      • #4
        Travel, about a month or two overseas, then the rest here in the US because there is so much to do here and it's easier to party when you know the language. Eat at great restaurants, stay at awesome hotels, see some roadside attractions (I keep missing the SPAM museum due to logistics) and many city sites (museums, art galleries, shows). Wear a pork chop necklace to a PETA rally. Tell ignorant rude people that they were ignorant and rude. Die with one cent left in any of my accounts.

        But first I'd have to believe it, and I have to tell you that unless God herself appeared and told me, I'd probably not believe. And if God did appear, knowing me, I'd probably think I was hallucinating.

        Just as an aside, there is a slight difference between knowing you're going to be dead in a year, and living with the awareness that no matter how conscientiously you live your life, you're rarely out of reach of the result of someone else's stupidity or carelessness.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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        • #5
          I try to live in a similar sense, but more Ecclesiastical. We live for a blink, come from dust and turn to dust, and nobody will care how we lived in even just a few generations. Clearly, any of us could fill a book with our views on life, but almost all my successful revelations on behavior and figuring out how to relax grew from this general attitude.
          Crohn's, doing SCD

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Knifegill View Post
            We live for a blink, come from dust and turn to dust, and nobody will care how we lived in even just a few generations. Clearly, any of us could fill a book with our views on life, but almost all my successful revelations on behavior and figuring out how to relax grew from this general attitude.
            True, and beautifully put. I find it amazing though how embracing death has given me the freedom to make life what I want it to be. I always looked at life as this burden that I had to "do something with". Now I realise that it doesn't matter. The life I think I "should" live is not true to who I am and the burden of being that person or living that life makes me miserable. When you live your life as a preparation for death... well... you actually begin to live! It's an unexpected, paradoxical consequence.

            When I decided to live my life as though I am going to die in a year I actually made a list of 32 things I want to do before that death sentence comes. One for each year of my life (I'll be 32 by next Jan). Any time I made lists before I always felt pressure to complete them, but this time I'm actually really excited about doing these things, when I'm ready.

            Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
            Rasputina and Yogabare I'm sorry to hear of your loosing loved ones. I too had to re-evaluate how I live my life when our son was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at 7. It caused DH and I to really examine how we were raising him and what our priorities were. We'd always been attentive and involved parents but after the diagnosis we learned to slow down and truly appreciate the time we have with DS. By that I mean letting go of per-conceived expectations and truly appreciate DS for who he is and letting him be that person. As a parent that's something worth doing whether your child is healthy or not. For us it led us to eventually unschool DS (his idea). None of us know how much time we have here. I am happy to say that DS is doing very well and as a family we enjoy each others company. I see so many families where the kids and parents are at odds; DS is now 14 and we don't have any of the typical struggles one expects with a teenager.
            Thanks for your kind thoughts UF. I really respect and admire the attitude you adopted towards your son, and I'm so happy it's working out for you. What you're doing for your son is what I'm learning to do for myself. I really think that's where happiness is - lessening expectations, understanding who you really are, and embracing that. I think that inner support is what makes people blossom.

            Hugs to you all!
            "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

            In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

            - Ray Peat

            Comment


            • #7
              Rasputina, as someone who lost my father two months ago and someone who has stared cancer in the face and made it back down, I understand where you are coming from. Hugs to you.

              I highly recommend the novel by J. Stanton of the Gnolls site called "The Gnoll Credo"

              The first item in the Credo is this:

              We are born and we die. No one cares, no one remembers, and it doesn't matter. This is why we laugh.

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              • #8
                I only barely touch the surface of this sentiment with my anti-careerism way of life. I just do not care about a career. By not caring, I can walk away. By being able to walk away, a tyrannical boss can yell in my face and threaten me and I can just laugh. I even had one of those for a while and you know what I did? I walked away.

                I wish I could do this more, though. I might walk away from everything and just be a bum, bumming around the US, hiking the long trails, doing odd jobs for food, maybe I'd get better at playing my pennywhistle or mandolin and busk, live outdoors, walk away from fearful and negative people. I was raised so conventional it's so hard to throw off the mantle of what a proper life should be, so hard to close a door to open another. So I dream and think maybe when I'm old I'll do those things. When I'm old who will care what I've become, who will be left in my life to stop me?
                Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                • #9
                  Hugs for your losses.

                  That Gnoll credo is great, i am writing that down as a note on my laptop sleeve .

                  I am struggling with being raised by a poor but very material mom. Not her fault, but it is difficult to slip away from those thought patterns when you are being yelled at by your boss.. I try though, hmmm, I'll try even harder and might write the gnoll credo on HIS laptop sleeve when I have incorporated that credo LOL

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Aaaa, i found out what a gnoll is, great!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I love hearing all of your responses. The freedom from anxiety is immensely powerful. I am resolved not to let fear or worry dictate my actions anymore I am actually excited about the limitless possibilities for my life. Yogabare, you summed it up nicely, "When you live your life as a preparation for death... well... you actually begin to live! It's an unexpected, paradoxical consequence."
                      Thanks for all the virtual hugs!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hm, I see what you guys are saying but I'm not feeling that way myself. As of the past four months or so I've been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks, both of which were new to me (at least in a sustained sort of manner, obviously I've experienced anxiety before but it would usually be merited not unexpected). I believe they started out of a sense of guilt that I haven't been using my time wisely and can't seem to get my act together in order to do so. Anyway, won't bore you with the whole bit but knowing I'm going to die doesn't make me feel any better about that. In fact, it makes life seem way too pointless to even bother living it. I've had that understanding, that life is devoid of reason, for quite a while, but never did it make me feel like not living life. I'm not depressed, honestly, and I still get out there and do plenty of things and have fun and everything and I'm not worried about doing something grandiose with my life or anything but I'm not reconciling how acknowledging the futility of life or the fact that it will inevitably end is supposed to make everything better or give me this clarity... but hey maybe I'll get it soon enough.

                        I also have struggled with the structure that we currently have, the apparent need to hold a job (or a career if you luck out) in order to support yourself and live. Of course, this has been the case for humans ever since we started, nothing has ever come without work of some sort. I don't think I would necessarily enjoy a simpler life, which would actually probably be filled with a lot more work than I do now, and still for no tangible reward since we're going to die anyway! why do anything?

                        I could never purposely end my life, and I truly have no desire to do so and hope that I never will, but at the same time I can sort of understand why someone that feels as though their back is against the wall could do such a thing. Ideally they would feel like you guys do, but I think certain situations are more inescapable than that. You guys are experiencing some tough losses, but what if your anxiety is stemmed from other causes? and your mortality doesn't really make much of a difference in the matter? That's not my situation, but for the sake of argument I guess. I don't see how you can be so zen and just be like "well fuck it I'm going to die anyway" or "..but at least I'm not dead" when/if death would actually feel like a better option or a release?

                        I feel I must stress this, given what I've posted: I'm not suicidal, and I'm not talking about myself (outside of the anxiety stuff I mentioned, which has actually subsided) I am pretty happy and I realize that life will have its ups and downs and sometimes you have to go through the downs to get to the happy, so nobody needs to worry about me, but the topic is interesting.
                        I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by iniQuity View Post
                          why do anything?
                          Or why not do exactly what you want?
                          "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                          In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                          - Ray Peat

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                            Or why not do exactly what you want?
                            yes!!!!!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Rasputina View Post
                              yes!!!!!
                              "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                              In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                              - Ray Peat

                              Comment

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