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Critique my Primal Revenge Strategy

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  • Critique my Primal Revenge Strategy

    I live in a rural area. My mailbox is about 1 mile away, in a row of about 30 other mailboxes. These mailboxes are in a secluded area and crack-heads, kids, poor people have taken to going through them and stealing mail. A few of us have locking mailboxes, but over the weekend, someone actually pried mine open, but luckily I check mail every day.

    $100 and a new mailbox later, I came up with a devious plan for revenge.

    I filled a ziplock baggie with antifreeze and Ty-D-Bowl, The blue toilet cleaner is a concentrated dye that will permanently stain anything it touches and the antifreeze will keep it liquid as it's cold where I live.

    I used silicone sealant and glued the baggie of dye inside a flat box, sealed the box in a way that to open it means rupturing the inner baggie and spewing dye all over whoever opens it.

    We have many mailboxes that have been abandoned over the years. I am going to put a bogus address on one of these empty mailboxes and plant the dye-box in it.

    Anyone who opens this package is in the wrong, so I don't feel sorry for who gets it. The contents are not harmful unless swallowed. Anyone see a downside to this plan? I have the package ready to go and plan on placing it today. The thieves seem to love hitting us on holidays, as many of us take trips and mail piles up...thoughts?

  • #2
    I think you're awesome. Go for it!
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    • #3
      Hidden camera too?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by NorthernMonkeyGirl View Post
        Hidden camera too?
        We've talked about putting a trail cam out there, but the road gets so much traffic, it would be going off all day long. Plus, it could be a resident stealing mail with a valid excuse for being there. There is no power or street lights and you can see cars coming for miles, so it's a perfect place to steal mail. Cops are completely un-interested. Heading up to mailbox now--wish me luck!

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        • #5
          Follow up ideas - should they be necessary - various combinations of faeces and corpses*. It's amazing what samples people need to send through the post


          *non human!

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          • #6
            It sounds to me like you, me and my own father should all get married because this is
            exactly right up our alley.

            Go on with your bad self Otzi, i think it's a perfect plan.

            We live in the bottom of a court.

            Every year this neighbors f*cker nephew comes to stay for the holiday and he
            whizzes in and out of the court like it's the grand prix.

            On the last day of school he nearly ran us down when we were crossing the street.

            That night, my best friend and I, my needle nose pliers, ripped the valves out of his
            two back tires, then left a note that said "this should help you slow the fuck down".

            Car has been sitting there unmoved since. WAH.

            The only thing he was using it for was to drive his fat candy ass to McDonald's three times
            a day anyway.

            Ass.

            My father is 70 and is STILL pulling shenanigans like this - though, he's not vandallistic like myself.

            Sue me.

            I'm going to hell anyway, what's this going to hurt?

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            • #7
              This is awesome, I can't wait to hear how it goes.

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              • #8
                Perfect! If only there were some sort of RFID liquid you could track them with...
                Crohn's, doing SCD

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                • #9
                  Be nice if it was followed up by an ad in the local paper saying something cryptic like "the blue stain is that of the thief in our community. There are more traps". That way the person is blued and shamed others know what it means, and it might stop other shenaningans in the community because thieves won't know where the traps are.

                  But it wouldn't be worth the cost of a half page ad..

                  and the shitheads may not read, lol.

                  something would be good though, a sign at the mailboxes a week later?

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                  • #10
                    Wouldn't it be more primal to ambush, capture, enslave them, and take their women?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by OneDeltaTenTango View Post
                      Wouldn't it be more primal to ambush, capture, enslave them, and take their women?
                      or at least fill the letterbox with the most hostile local creature, like a massive spider or snake or fire breathing dragon...not chemicals.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by katemary View Post
                        Be nice if it was followed up by an ad in the local paper saying something cryptic like "the blue stain is that of the thief in our community. There are more traps". That way the person is blued and shamed others know what it means, and it might stop other shenaningans in the community because thieves won't know where the traps are.

                        But it wouldn't be worth the cost of a half page ad..

                        and the shitheads may not read, lol.

                        something would be good though, a sign at the mailboxes a week later?
                        I may send in a Letter to the Editor for our local paper, maybe parents might catch kids with blue hands (ooh, I should have used RED). And maybe others will do the same thing with their mailboxes.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by OneDeltaTenTango View Post
                          Wouldn't it be more primal to ambush, capture, enslave them, and take their women?

                          I would LOVE to ambush them! Not sure what I would do if I caught them, though, and can't imagine what their women look like! After the snow melts in the spring, we always find piles of gone-through mail where the thieves toss it out of their car. Every now and then you hear about police catching people, but usually only after they steal someone's identity and lots of money.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by katemary View Post
                            or at least fill the letterbox with the most hostile local creature, like a massive spider or snake or fire breathing dragon...not chemicals.
                            Not sure if I could manage to stuff a grizzly bear in there, but that's a good thought!

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                            • #15
                              I just hope you don't get a poor postal worker. Bad enough they have to contend with biting /stinging critters. Now they have to worry that there might be a dye-trap in the boxes they are legally required to service?

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