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When making friends do you prefer quality or quantity?

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  • #31
    If you wear bells I will know who you are at least I will pm you my cell in case something changes.

    Originally posted by phigment View Post
    i'll be there with bells on...probally not with bells...but you never know ;-)
    You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

    Age 48
    height 5'3
    SW 215 lbs
    CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
    LW 172 lbs
    GW 125ish lbs

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    • #32
      Quality. I prefer fewer friends and I prefer to see them less often.
      Female, age 51, 5' 9"
      SW - 183 (Jan 22, 2012), CW - 159, GW - healthy.

      Met my 2012 goals by losing 24 pounds.
      2013 goals are to get fit and strong!

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      • #33
        Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
        I also like going out alone, especially things that most people don't like going out alone for like bar hopping or out for dinner. I invariably meet interesting people.
        I have learned to really enjoy having little adventures by myself, which I think is really important because I now really appreciate having some quality time to myself and I don't force myself to do things I'd rather not do out of fear of loniliness or boredom. When I started traveling alone, I met people and had experiences that changed my life.

        Originally posted by JEL62 View Post
        I much prefer quality over quantity. I turned fifty yesterday and there was a scant few friends who even remembered my birthday... but as I'm not twelve years-old anymore it didn't bother me. I don't need cake. Really.
        Happy Birthday! I was living in a foreign country when I turned 31. The timing worked out so that all the friends I made there had to return to their home countries a day or two before my birthday. So on the big day, there was not a single person living in the entire country that even knew it was my birthday...plus it was a rainy nasty day and I ended up walking around all day with wet socks. Somehow, that should have been awful, but I remember it as beng one of the best birthdays because it was the first time my birthday was like a secret that only I knew about.
        Last edited by BestBetter; 12-17-2012, 08:36 PM.

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        • #34
          Maybe it is different for women, but for myself, I consider just about anyone that is not trying to actively hurt me a "friend" in like the normal use of the word- I get numbers all the time from men and women when I am out and about and I keep in touch with people by mass-texting tree alerts of traffic problems/police disruption of our travel, and also because I smoke weed with people. Anyone who doesn't rat me out is pretty much my friend, and narc kind of people I just consider not in my tribe and not of my people, and I basically ignore them and do not associate- even in public, if interacting with such people anonymously, I sense how different and repressed they are and they kind of disgust me.

          But in the privacy of my own mind, I only consider someone a friend if I know that they will fight alongside me AND that they do not behave in such a way so as to make me likely to have to fight alongside THEM over stupid crap. These kinds of men are evidently very rare and exceptional, and I have only had 3 or 4 friends in my life by this standard.
          "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

          Jack london, "Before Adam"

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          • #35
            Quality has to be the most important thing about friendships. We have had some hard knocks as a married couple, and it was always our true friends who come through for us in the end. We have lost two little boys, at different times, through prematurity - you carry them in utero for so many months, they are born, survive, fight for there little lives, and then they die. It was the most heart breaking thing to ever go through. And the thing that got us through was our true friends. The ones that didn't cross the road when they saw you, because they didn't know what to say....they came and gave you a cuddle instead - they didn't need to say anything,........ the ones who saw that you were struggling, and just arrived and did your washing...... the ones who could see that you looked like shit, didn't let on and came and gave you a manicure......
            true friends are not put off by the daunting task of propping you up, of wiping your tear stained face, force feeding you when you are too stricken to do so yourself,
            true friends don't just happen....they are a work of art.
            ......and I am thrilled that You - Valmason are heading out with a Phigment - cos i think that this will be a fantastic beginning in your friendship journey.
            have the best night girls
            "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

            ...small steps....

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            • #36
              This kind of forum is going to be chock-full of anti-establishment introverts (yes, I'm one too). It's just the nature of the beast. Almost everyone here is going to answer "quality", even though there are lots of people in the general population who prefer a large quantity of friends/acquaintances and a busy social calendar.

              For my part, I typically have to get to know someone for a year or more before I can even consider them a friend, unless I am forced into intense proximity/association, like on a wilderness outing, in which case it can happen much faster. I open up to people in layers and those layers are slow to peel back. I don't have anyone I consider a close friend that I haven't either known 5+ years or lived in the same house with.

              Which makes it pretty lame to move to a new city, because I'm basically friendless for months on end.
              Last edited by Uncephalized; 12-17-2012, 02:12 PM.
              Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

              My Primal Journal

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              • #37
                I don't have any friends, even my daughter's imaginary friends don't like me, especilly twinkle, though tiny mac has been stiring shit up so that may be untrue.
                You know all those pictures of Adam and Eve where they have belly button? Think about it..................... take as long as you need........................

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                • #38
                  This old saggy baggy Gwamma will be your friend guys - however i do say inapropriate things at times, and I have been known to drink too much and say really REALLY inappropriate things !!!!! LOL..........all in good fun thou
                  And I am an annoying extrovert, but I really much prefer quality. If you have a huge friend base....it takes alot of maintanence !!!!
                  "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                  ...small steps....

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                  • #39
                    I'm an introvert as well. Perfer a few close quality friends and plenty of alone time.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Damiana View Post
                      I don't think anyone would prefer quantity over quality when it comes to friendship unless you're a movie star who depends on social networking status with millions of followers on twitter and Facebook.
                      I prefer quantity over quality. I don't do facebook or twitter and I'm not a movie star. I prefer low quality and low quantity. Basically, people are soul-suckers and I'd rather be with my boyfriend or by myself. And I like it when my boyfriend is quiet. It's enough he's just there, he doesn't have to talk to me, too. If I feel like being social and surrounded by people I like to go attend events and talk to the people there. I have a ton of acquaintances from doing this.
                      Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                      • #41
                        ......and I am thrilled that You - Valmason are heading out with a Phigment - cos i think that this will be a fantastic beginning in your friendship journey.
                        have the best night girls
                        Thank you m'aam! I know we will.
                        You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

                        Age 48
                        height 5'3
                        SW 215 lbs
                        CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
                        LW 172 lbs
                        GW 125ish lbs

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          I had a Facebook account for less than a week before I deleted it. I only signed up to see what all the fuss was about, but after I started receiving friend requests from random high school folks that I never really liked anyway, it was gone. I'm a classic introvert and sometimes I wish I weren't... but oh well. I've got fewer than six really close friends that I stay in touch with regularly, and even some of those I only hear from on a yearly basis. The rest are just acquaintances.

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                          • #43
                            I'm not an introvert, but a dedicated loner. Oh I can be the life of the party~ keep the laughs coming, witty conversation. But I really never let others (except hubby) 'inside'. I'm happiest in my garden, where the only sounds are from nature. Long standing rule, no chit chat when I'm playing in the dirt.

                            Finding a 'true' friend is difficult for me~ seems they always want/need something and I'm happy to help~ but when it's my turn, huh, where is everybody? I do better by myself.

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                            • #44
                              Originally posted by sakura_girl View Post
                              Both.

                              I'm a businessperson/entrepreneur by heart, and with that, I'd like to have access to a large network of people. Doesn't mean I have to be close to them; I just prefer to have all of them as friends, with resources I, or someone else in my network, can tap into.

                              Then I have a few really good friends with whom I can describe as "quality" friends. People who I can trust to slap me in the face when I need it, who I can enjoy my time with, and who I can be a support network with.
                              This.

                              I'm an introvert at heart (not antisocial, just "selectively social") and I have no problem spending time with myself. I don't get bored easily, and I don't need other people to entertain me or relieve my boredom.

                              I'm thankful that a handful of really close friendships have evolved as a result of my business (which is event-based and very social) and I now have many acquaintances with whom I am friendly, but my circle of friends has widened only slightly. I find managing too many relationships at once to be exhausting. My job requires me to be social, gracious, witty, accommodating for a day or a weekend, and then I require double the amount of time to recover from it!
                              Sandra
                              *My obligatory intro

                              There are no cheat days. There are days when you eat primal and days you don't. As soon as you label a day a cheat day, you're on a diet. Don't be on a diet. ~~ Fernaldo

                              DAINTY CAN KISS MY PRIMAL BACKSIDE. ~~ Crabcakes

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                              • #45
                                I like small doses of quality friends.

                                I know what you mean Nady, it seems very rare when my friends will come through for me. They do live busier lives than I do but still, it would be nice if they made the effort. Partly it's my fault, I'm not that good at asking for help and a bit too understanding when they tell me how busy and over worked they are.
                                Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

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