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Aaaaah- going GREY!

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  • #46
    Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
    First three grays at 16, salt and pepper at 26, almost totally white at 30 except for the little darkness at the nape, now I am 45. It is familial with me. I have white hair, not gray or silver. I colored blond for a little while while the transition was at its fastest, but the color tore up my scalp (I bled from the scalp no matter what my salon lady did), and it was planned to be temporary anyway while I figured out my new skin-hair tone thing.

    Now this is my little activist thing, not to color at all. Why shouldn't white or gray be an acceptable hair color on any head it comes in on??

    Mine is trimmed in a cute style, and clean and healthy, and that should be good enough for anybody. For you gals who have men who want you to color, I just don't understand you or them if you do color long term. So many of us have this, it borders on absurd to have all of us hide this.
    I totally agree with you. I am quite militant about changing society's attitude 're women with grey hair. Why should it only be men who look 'distinguished"

    I am a 46 year old woman who started going grey at 18. I have been dying my hair since 20. I was dark brown naturally but as I got older I had to go blonde because of the skunk stripe regrowth.

    I decided to go natural at the start of this year. Every time I mentioned I was thinking about it my girlfriends would tell me I was letting myself go. I decided this was my life and I needed to be authentic me.

    So I cut it all off into a kick arse pixie cut and grew the blonde out. I am white the front half of my head and salt and pepper at the back. I didn't like the back so I am lightening up the back to match the front!

    I was out at a workshop tonight and there were two really attractive women in front of me with beautiful grey hair.. I like to think I am a trend setter, especially now my cut is really funky. Asymmetrical fringe, tousled and rad!

    Anyone who is dying their hair because someone doesn't want you to be grey I would say that its you that might end up with cancer from the chemicas not them. Don't be one of those older ladies who obviously dye their hair when Grey's should be visible. It just looks so fake!

    Grey is just another colour choice, not a label. Last time I got a haircut a 70 yr old woman sat down next to me. Very well made up with dyed blonde hair. She immediately joined in our conversation was amazed I was proud of my hair colour and I could see the cogs working in her brain... my hair looked way better than hers because of the shine (lol just saying)

    Embrace it and enjoy the compliments you WILL get.

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    • #47
      I also color my hair to add thickness to it. I lost almost 3/4 of my hair about 9 years ago due to hormonal changes in my body. I basically do a no poo routine with a cleanser and conditioner(no sulfates or parabens in either). I'm back up to 75% of the hair I had before. I will probably be one of those women who will always have to color my hair just to have some thickness to it. If I had the money, I would have a transplant done just to try to make up for the rest of the loss. Its no one else telling me to color my hair, its just what I've found in my research and observations.
      Georgette

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      • #48
        Amla powder adds thickness and texture with no color and it seems to make my hair softer and not shed as much, I also really like the smell of it, very organic with a hint of maybe earthiness? I get it at the Indian Grocer. I'm planning on trying Henna and Indigo next

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        • #49
          Originally posted by Kelmar View Post
          Amla powder adds thickness and texture with no color and it seems to make my hair softer and not shed as much, I also really like the smell of it, very organic with a hint of maybe earthiness? I get it at the Indian Grocer. I'm planning on trying Henna and Indigo next
          I can't go into stores like that without getting ill. I've an adversion to Indian food smells all my life. I technically have male pattern baldness so I don't like to put any powders on my head whatsoever
          Georgette

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          • #50
            This has nothing to do with anything, but I discovered last year at an indoor glow-in-the-dark putt-putt golf course that my white hair GLOWS under blacklight!

            My kids thought it was absolutely hysterical. I did too.
            I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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            • #51
              Ha, I like that!

              I'm enyoing the fact that for the first time in ever I don't need to worry about how often I wash my hair. By now I have an almost 2 inch white strip of grey. It lloks a bit funny with hair straight down to the sides, but is fine when hair is up.

              Interestingly this is unearthing some issues I have with ageing. Like, the things I feel I'm missing out on (like sex, DH is not interested) I now feel like well, that's it. I have to face that its not going to change and I will die without having had much attention in that sector. Which I have decided must be okay, but now it really seems to hit. Hm. I guess I also do feel like I'm making myself more unattractive to men, even though I don't want to feel that. Just stuff to sort through, ifywim. And not necessarily true, but still there.

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              • #52
                I do not get why the DHs loose interest. I would look into asking him. a lifetime without attention would do me in.

                We went through a rough patch where there wasn't a lot of time, both exhausted, and DH didn't seem interested (he was just in an anxiety cycle which distracts him from reality), but it turns out that he was and that we both had to make an effort -- and in particular HE had to make an effort (i was putting in a lot of effort with little/no response). So, it worked out, but I don't think I could go for that disinterest.

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                • #53
                  Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                  This has nothing to do with anything, but I discovered last year at an indoor glow-in-the-dark putt-putt golf course that my white hair GLOWS under blacklight!

                  My kids thought it was absolutely hysterical. I did too.
                  Okay, that just makes me more excited about the bits that are going white. Awesome!
                  “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                  Owly's Journal

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                  • #54
                    It sounds like there's maybe more going on with the sex thing than age--can you discuss it at all with him?
                    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                    Owly's Journal

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                    • #55
                      Haha I'm 27 and wish I was going gray... then maybe I could go beardless and not get carded for R movies. *grumble* If I grow a beard I don't get carded for anything at all, but clean shaven my baby face gets me hit up for ID at R movies, haha if you decide you want natural colour we can always trade hair
                      -Ryan Mercer my blog and Genco Peptides my small biz

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                      • #56
                        Originally posted by Comma View Post
                        Interestingly this is unearthing some issues I have with ageing.
                        Yeah, letting the white/gray show does bring up some stuff. The blacklight thing is simply fun, but I do have to tell you all that it isn't always cute...

                        Case in point: out here in Redneck Corner where I now live, each and every time I go to the grocery store with my four girls (ages 9 to 15), I get lots of compliments on their cuteness and their good behavior, but it always goes like this - "What wonderful girls! How many more grandchildren do you have?"

                        This NEVER happened back in New Jersey, or anywhere else on the East Coast, for that matter. Out there, it was always "Wow! FOUR daughters! Boy, will you have wedding bills!!" With the exception of a frown line betwixt the eyebrows, I have no other wrinkles or bags or sags, and the more sophisticated folks pick up on that. The rural ones usually haven't so far.

                        Just be prepared. Being in the vanguard of changing how a lot of people view appearance, aging, and all that takes patience and a certain amount of proverbial thickening of the skin.
                        I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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                        • #57
                          That might not only be about the hair. What's the average age of a mother in the community where you now live as compared to where you were before? There are very different ideas of how old a mom is in different places.
                          “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                          Owly's Journal

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                          • #58
                            I think folks down south and in the mid west tend to have their kids earlier. Most of the people in my area seem to have their kids a bit later. We all seem to be in our 30-40's.

                            As for grey I've been greying since I was a teen. I dont mind it never did. Not liking the bald so much but I just cut my hair shorter and it;s not so bad.

                            Anyone seen jamie lee curtis lately? Looks good in grey.
                            I find your lack of bacon disturbing.

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                            • #59
                              A lot of my friends in the south are 35-40 and have children aged between 14-18. By the time they are 45, they will likely have grandchildren.

                              Whereas, where I lived in PA, the average 30-35 yr old had under-10 year olds. So, they won't be grandparents for a good 20 more years (likely), meaning in their 60s.

                              So, I agree with Owly on this one.

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                              • #60
                                Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                                A lot of my friends in the south are 35-40 and have children aged between 14-18. By the time they are 45, they will likely have grandchildren.

                                Whereas, where I lived in PA, the average 30-35 yr old had under-10 year olds. So, they won't be grandparents for a good 20 more years (likely), meaning in their 60s.

                                So, I agree with Owly on this one.
                                Like it or not, though, I think gray adds a LOT to perceived age. Your face may still be fairly youthful and unlined, but add gray hair and people will automatically assume you're older, not younger.

                                There are a few things I like about the idea of going gray... I'd like to have completely natural hair (at the moment it's pretty natural, with just henna), but I also like the fact that I'm generally thought to be a good decade younger than I am. I know that if I were to allow my natural hair through, people would be ADDING on the years, not subtracting them! That's just a bit too confronting to me .

                                Also... looking young is a bit of my vanity thing too... I'm short, somewhat chubby (but working on that!) and generally not very attractive, so having the youthful looking thing going is a bit of an ego boost because it's something not everyone has! I think I'd be sort of devastated if people suddenly started thinking I was mid 40s rather than mid to late 20s, you know?

                                That being said, a time will come when I'll chop my hair all off really short and start all over again and let my hair be its natural self! (I just figure that won't happen for another 10 to 15 years or so!!).

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