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Will he think I'm fat?

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  • Will he think I'm fat?


    Should I be afraid of my appearance? How do I have more confidence?

    Situation: I had a wonderful relationship with a guy for three years, we then proceeded to break up and have been apart for two years. We have recently had phone conversations and one interaction. We are now looking towards hanging out and seeing what happens.

    I am 10 pounds heavier than when I was in a relationship with him. I am afraid he will not like my body and I cant even fathom him touching me with my extra pudginess. I actually told him it bothered me in one of our conversations & (from the one time he has seen me) he said I look good. I am working towards getting back to my natural weight, though right now I am what I am. We will be getting together tomorrow evening

    All I know to do right now is find a nice outfit that still fits and hope we still connect like we did two years ago, we were very close.

    Suggestions for a self conscious girl ?
    Last edited by freedom.please; 11-30-2012, 08:22 PM.
    "Never regret. If it's good, its wonderful. If it's bad its experience"
    -Victoria Hold
    F/Age 23 height 5' 3"
    HW 134
    CW 126
    GW 120

  • #2
    10 pounds isn't that much - you probably don't look much different. He might not have even noticed if you hadn't brought it up. Don't let a minor weight gain distract you from what really matters - getting your relationship back on track. If 10 pounds is such a big deal to him that it becomes your biggest issue, then you have no business being with him anyway. Good luck.

    Comment


    • #3
      They all look the same in the dark.
      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

      B*tch-lite

      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

      Comment


      • #4
        hahaha! - JoanieL, that made me feel better. My face is actually smiling. Though, when I said "the last time he saw me" I was neither nude nor in the dark

        Kata- In photos I can tell I look different, mostly I just don't feel like i am in "my own" body. Bleh, its just where my mind goes, but I suppose I should not let it distract me, thanks
        "Never regret. If it's good, its wonderful. If it's bad its experience"
        -Victoria Hold
        F/Age 23 height 5' 3"
        HW 134
        CW 126
        GW 120

        Comment


        • #5
          To be honest, if 10lbs puts him off he's shallow and not worth bothering with. If he likes you despite the weight gain it might mean he likes the real you, not just the packaging. Now that would be nice to know.
          My website: http://www.shoppinganywhere.net/

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by freedom.please View Post
            Suggestions for a self conscious girl ?
            Lose 10 pounds?
            Everything is bad for something - How do you feel today?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Gilleh View Post
              Lose 10 pounds?
              Exercise
              Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
              Starting Weight: 294 pounds
              Current Weight: 235 pounds
              Goal Weight: 195 pounds

              Comment


              • #8
                OP it's just ten lbs, if he's still into you he'll still want to jump bones and happily do it

                because it's just 10, not 100 (;
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • #9
                  Ten pounds is not THAT much! Besides from your siggy I can see that you're not really that heavy for your height either . I'm sure you look absolutely fine! Besides which, as others have said, if he is THAT bothered by it he's not worth worrying about! I can understand him being put off if you had put on 50+ pounds, which is a lot more... but you've hardly done that!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Your confidence and carriage will matter more than 10 pounds. You've got to love yourself first. Confidence is a huge factor in attraction.
                    F 28/5'4/100 lbs

                    "I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath; do your research."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      10 lbs? He probably won't notice. Be confident, but set yourself up to succeed.

                      Find a great outfit. Something that makes you look amazing. What is your body type? That matters more than weight in choosing great clothes. Buy a size that fits you and get it altered if needed. Seriously, go put some time into finding an outfit. Try on 20 pairs of jeans until you find the ones that make your ass look amazing. Try on a bunch of dresses until you say "damn that chick in the mirror is sexy". Make sure the bra lifts and seperates the girls and get some good panties that don't cause panty lines.

                      Then update your hair and make up as needed. Be the best you. So often people put on 10 lbs and just give up on everything else. If you dress right it will give you confidence. But it takes some effort. You can't lose 10 lbs in a weekend, but you can take 10 lbs off your appearance with some time in a dressing room.

                      People don't notice minor weight gain. They notice a schleppy appearance or someone that looks really put together. Be put together.

                      http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                      Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by freedom.please View Post
                        Suggestions for a self conscious girl ?
                        Get over it. Will he notice 10 pounds you gained when he sees you two years later? No. Hell, you are 129 pounds not 329. What he might very well notice is that you think you are fat and that lack of confidence is about as sexy as granny panties on a chimpanzee. (Not very sexy at all for those of you who may be unclear on the issue). Honestly, few things are a bigger turn-off than a woman who is within healthy weight ranges thinking she is fat.


                        "Does this dress make me look fat?" "I ate a cookie, do my hips look big?" "*sighs* I wish I was a size <insert whatever miniscule number here> instead of <equally small number>" Seriously, shut up already.

                        So will he think you are fat? No. Will he think you are annoying as f*ck if you go on about being fat while being a healthy weight? Yes.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Gilleh View Post
                          Lose 10 pounds?
                          I have been trying! Believe me it is a process for a college student with anxiety.
                          Originally posted by kenn View Post
                          Exercise
                          I work out nearly every day, some times twice
                          Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                          OP it's just ten lbs, if he's still into you he'll still want to jump bones and happily do it

                          because it's just 10, not 100 (;
                          Yay, gota love the guys response... haha thanks for the encouragement
                          Originally posted by Iron Fireling View Post
                          Ten pounds is not THAT much! Besides from your siggy I can see that you're not really that heavy for your height either . I'm sure you look absolutely fine! Besides which, as others have said, if he is THAT bothered by it he's not worth worrying about! I can understand him being put off if you had put on 50+ pounds, which is a lot more... but you've hardly done that!
                          For me it is a matter of not feeling like I am in the body I should be, no I am not over weight, but it is amazing what ten pounds can do to your body
                          Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
                          10 lbs? He probably won't notice. Be confident, but set yourself up to succeed.

                          Find a great outfit. Something that makes you look amazing. What is your body type? That matters more than weight in choosing great clothes. Buy a size that fits you and get it altered if needed. ........


                          Then update your hair and make up as needed. Be the best you. So often people put on 10 lbs and just give up on everything else. ......

                          People don't notice minor weight gain. They notice a schleppy appearance or someone that looks really put together. Be put together.
                          This is really what I needed, thank you. See, I do not do well with fashion/style/ understanding how to find the right fitting cloths
                          My body type - small waist, huge butt, big thighs -- muscle in the legs and the fat seems to go there too. I hate shopping for jeans, and knowing I am working towards losing my 10 pounds makes me not want to shop for them until I have! A lot of things I own right now I know I should not be wearing at my current physique ha.


                          Seriously though, a big thanks. I know it sounds silly, but you have all made me reevaluate my thinking. Oh what our minds can get us into...
                          "Never regret. If it's good, its wonderful. If it's bad its experience"
                          -Victoria Hold
                          F/Age 23 height 5' 3"
                          HW 134
                          CW 126
                          GW 120

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by freedom.please View Post
                            My body type - small waist, huge butt, big thighs --
                            Oh, I think you will be just fine.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              This is really what I needed, thank you. See, I do not do well with fashion/style/ understanding how to find the right fitting cloths
                              My body type - small waist, huge butt, big thighs -- muscle in the legs and the fat seems to go there too. I hate shopping for jeans, and knowing I am working towards losing my 10 pounds makes me not want to shop for them until I have! A lot of things I own right now I know I should not be wearing at my current physique ha.
                              Oh.... so you are built like a sexy woman like normal men love, but not built like a tomboy that gay fashion editors love. If boyfriend is a gay fashion editor, you have bigger issues than 10 lbs. Go get a push up bra, a pair of heels and a very low cut V-Neck wrap dress in a flattering color and slightly clingy fabric. And be prepared to smack away the other drooling men.

                              Done.

                              http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                              Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

                              Comment

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