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Certainly makes dating interesting

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  • Certainly makes dating interesting

    Went out with some girlfriends last night and after chatting to a guy that seemed interested he tried to get me to consume a whiskey and coke. I told him I don't consume sugar and it would have to be diet, but that I truly prefer vodka/sodas. He thought that was weird, which I wouldn't drink regular coke before going Primal anyway, so he obviously doesn't talk to too many girls. Then he asked me which sub place was my favorite since I am from the East coast (living in Ohio). I said, well, since I don't eat bread, it doesn't really matter. That freaked him out. I said, I choose to eat mostly meat, veg and some fruit and dairy. He just didn't get it. I told him my dinner was a big, juicy steak at Brio - really good btw. That impressed him, a girl eating and loving a big steak, haha. So, as you can see, it just didn't work out overall. Other reasons too, but it would be great to find a guy that respects and enjoys the primal lifestyle too. Not that I'm perfect at it. Of course, I would not mind introducing an open-minded guy to it.

    Anyway, this just adds a new box on the checklist for someone - must be open to my primal lifestyle.

  • #2
    I'm not sure why this would come up in a conversation really, or why you couldn't just answer in the obvious ways.

    I think you're doing a TMI. He's asking friendly, innocuous questions and you're up-ending them. It doesn't mean he wouldn't respect the way that you eat, I just don't think how you eat is good bar-conversation.

    Last time I dated, which is when I was 19 -- so a long time ago -- I didn't have a weird diet. But, I also ate in a very healthy manner, and as such, it was very unusual for 19 yr olds. guys would ask me about my favorite pizza place, and I would answer -- even though I rarely ate pizza. Guys would ask me which beers I liked, except that I didn't like beer, so I would mention a microbrew that was difficult to find. Guys would ask me how I liked my coffee and I've never liked coffee so I would say "in ice cream!" which is really the only way I have coffee flavored anything. LOL

    He's just looking for banter, not an in-depth explanation of your diet and nutritional preferences. If you get past the 'banter' stage and into a date, you can then make mention of restrictions or whatever, and you'd probably discover that he "respects" things just fine.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by zoebird View Post
      I'm not sure why this would come up in a conversation really, or why you couldn't just answer in the obvious ways.

      I think you're doing a TMI. He's asking friendly, innocuous questions and you're up-ending them. It doesn't mean he wouldn't respect the way that you eat, I just don't think how you eat is good bar-conversation.

      Last time I dated, which is when I was 19 -- so a long time ago -- I didn't have a weird diet. But, I also ate in a very healthy manner, and as such, it was very unusual for 19 yr olds. guys would ask me about my favorite pizza place, and I would answer -- even though I rarely ate pizza. Guys would ask me which beers I liked, except that I didn't like beer, so I would mention a microbrew that was difficult to find. Guys would ask me how I liked my coffee and I've never liked coffee so I would say "in ice cream!" which is really the only way I have coffee flavored anything. LOL

      He's just looking for banter, not an in-depth explanation of your diet and nutritional preferences. If you get past the 'banter' stage and into a date, you can then make mention of restrictions or whatever, and you'd probably discover that he "respects" things just fine.
      1000+++
      Totally agree. There is a science to dating -- it's a dance of flirtation and easy banter, accompanied by a smile and a hint of fun. As soon as you start going on about your 'special food diet' and 'I don't do this' and 'oh, I don't do that' -you come across as difficult, a kill-joy and high maintenance. Keep it light, easy, fun and keep the banter going. Why not ask him what his favourite restaurant is --- what kind of steak he likes best etc etc. An initial conversation is not about 'assessing' whether someone may or may not be open to your 'lifestyle'. Have fun, keep it light, and keep it simple. /Lu
      ----------------------------------------
      F, 48, 5'10"
      Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
      Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

      Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

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      • #4
        Totally agree with zoebird. I'm learning how to bar flirt again and something I've noticed is that it's all about deflection anyways.

        So for me, "Let me buy you a whiskey and coke" gets answered with "I'm feeling crazy tonight - how about a vodka sprite?" He's going to either answer, "OK" or "Why is that crazy?" to which I reply something cute like - "Cause then I won't know how much vodka is really in it!" wink wink

        "So, what's your favorite sub place?" gets answered with "Some place with lots of meat." If I leave that hanging he's going to say something like, "Oh you like meat, do you?" to which I answer "All kinds."

        That may be a bit spicier than your style, but the point is by acknowledging that the reason he's asking these questions is not to get the answers but to have fun talking to you, you can let yourself not answer the questions - or turn them so that you're talking about something fun for both of you... like meat and meat!

        It's all about subtext. Have fun!

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        • #5
          Maybe I am just stupid about dating/flirting (well yes I AM haha) but if a guy asked me my preferences, I would just answer honestly. I mean, if you mention your fave pizza place, and you don't EAT pizza, and you end up on a date with the guy, he might take you to THAT PLACE and then you've gotta explain to him that you don't eat pizza?! It makes little sense to me .

          I'd rather just say, "I don't eat pizza" or whatever.

          And if a guy offered me Whiskey and Coke I'd say "No thanks!" cause... yuck... I don't like it. If he offered me a drink, I'd ask for Vodka and something cause I can actually drink it without feeling nauseous .

          But maybe this is why I was never successful in the dating/flirting arena? I just never got it! But still, it seems to me that it's a bad idea to lie (even if it's just a white lie about food/drinks preference) when you're chatting to a guy and things could potentially go further. At least if you're honest then he'll know not to take you out for pizza/pasta etc. and if he truly doesn't "get it" then neither of you will waste time on getting to know someone better who you are possibly quite incompatible with.

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          • #6
            I guess I must be stupid, too. If someone asked me what my favorite sub place was, I'd rather not date him. If he asks me what my favorite steak place is or if I like fancy wine, then yeah, I'll consider it, if he's good enough for me.
            Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Iron Fireling View Post

              But maybe this is why I was never successful in the dating/flirting arena? I just never got it! But still, it seems to me that it's a bad idea to lie (even if it's just a white lie about food/drinks preference) when you're chatting to a guy and things could potentially go further. At least if you're honest then he'll know not to take you out for pizza/pasta etc. and if he truly doesn't "get it" then neither of you will waste time on getting to know someone better who you are possibly quite incompatible with.
              ah, maybe therein lies the difference. I wouldn't see it as wasting time if we were both having fun.
              my primal journal:
              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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              • #8
                Maybe the male perspective is not needed here, but... I'd like to think I could find something more interesting to talk about than "what is your favorite sub place?"

                But it's been awhile since I was dating.
                Last edited by DCarr10760; 10-27-2012, 06:16 PM. Reason: Spelling...I wouldn't date a poor speller...
                Height: 5' 10"
                Starting Weight: 292
                Starting Primal Weight: 275
                Current weight: 224
                Goal weight: 172
                Body Fat 30.5

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                • #9
                  Who the hell says can I buy you a whiskey and coke? I've heard can I buy you a drink, or can I buy you a beer even, but a whiskey and coke seems oddly specific, lol? And if he already had purchased it... no way! Can you say roofie coolatta anyone!

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                  • #10
                    I guess I must be stupid, too. If someone asked me what my favorite sub place was, I'd rather not date him
                    lmao amen to that! i have been married to and also dated someone whose idea of good food was KFC. it gets to be very not fun. cooking 2 different meals. trying to fight the junk food culture away from your kids when the hider is already in your house is an uphill battle. you cant change people and part of the reason we have some many food issues these days it the lack of, i cant even think of the word, be we dont all sit down and eat together and the social aspect is ignored? so just like i would never date a vegetarian as it would lead to severe problems in the very near future, i would have to tread with extreme caution. as to bar flirting, most men in my age range who've been eating subway and drinking coke are not very hot anymore, i would never flirt with them in case they thought they stood a chance lol

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                    • #11
                      I'm a male and live in Dayton, Oh. If a chick goes all batty about her diet in the first conversation or makes it a point especially in the setting you gave, I'm out. Seems like you met a socially awkward guy and didn't dig him, were flattered with the attention and dragged him along. Bars are good for hooking up, not for dating.

                      Favorite sub place? I'd rather eat steak.
                      Whiskey and coke? Too sweet for me, prefer to enjoy my liquor.
                      Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                      Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                      Current Weight: 235 pounds
                      Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                      • #12
                        I'm sorry, guys, but you're now starting to sound like -- and please pardon the language -- fucking paleo princesses who want "respect" for your diet before the person even knows whether or not he wants to ask you on a date.

                        For chrissakes, it really doesn't matter at this point. It will matter when you decide you want to household. It does not matter before then. UNLESS he's aggressive about it (ie, trying to convince or force you to eat what you don't want to eat).

                        So lets talk about this a bit.

                        First, when you are in a bar, a person is getting to know what kind of person you are. If you are immediately rejecting someone who likes sub shops because you think he loves sub shops a lot because he asked you about sub shops, then you are a high maintenance princess. Secondarily, if you answer with "i don't eat bread." then you are being a snotty, high maintenance princess.

                        If you answer with "ah, you know, I've tried both Geno's and Pat's, but my preference is really for Rick's because of how they prep the steak for the cheesesteaks, so I guess that puts me into the Pat's category, technically, because Rick is in the Pat's family" this demonstrates that you are a smart chick who understands all things "guy awesomeness" in terms of what is culturally appropriate in that venue.

                        And after his mind is adequately blown, you can sneak in "but it's such a bummer that I can't eat bread anymore, because there's just nothing like a good sub." And then he'd say "oh, why not?" and you'd say "how else do you think I keep my ass looking this good?"

                        Then you get a compliment on your ass AND asked out on a date AND he asks where he can take you so that you can continue to have a good-looking ass which he hopes to get naked in the relatively near future if at all possible.

                        See, then he respects your diet because you're a hot fox who understands guy-talk and demonstrates that you are up for a good time.

                        Otherwise, you are just using your food preferences as another method of keeping people away from you, and you might as well go and start your cat collection, becuase your issues go way deeper than "the guy at the bar asked me about sub shops, so he's obviously disrespectful of my lifestyle."

                        No, he asked you about a sub shop as an introduction to talking about your ass.

                        Do not let your diet inhibit your sex life.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Kenn, I'm so in agreement with you. I don't hang with a lot of yoga peeps because they always talk about how holy their effing diet is and how evil my diet is and how can I possibly "really" be practicing yoga and what not other clap trap. It's too much work.

                          I don't mind talking aobut diets in a science-y way, or a comparative analysis of different diets, or even cultural differences or personal differences or whatever. But DUDE, seriously?

                          I also agree with the idea of being able to find other things to talk about -- that is that the guy might have been socially awkward. It would be weird to be asked about my favorite sub shop -- though it's common in/around philly to be asked about your favorite cheesesteak because it's a point of civic pride and also it "tells" something about you. If you are a Geno's, you're this, if you're a Pat's you're that.

                          It's like yoga people asking what style you do. It would be weird to go to a bar and just ask a guy randomly "so, what kind of yoga do you do?" but if it comes up in conversation, you mght ask about styles and when you do, it does tell you about the person.

                          I think that it's also like asking someone if they prefer eagles or steelers. Oddly, I"m a steeler's girl, though I'm way into flyers over penguins. Weird, I know. But is does say something about me. And I can talk the live-long-fucking day about sports even though I don't watch them or really give a shit.

                          Mostly becuase I like talking to men. And, while I found a guy who doesn't care about sports either, I would never have let my lack of interest in sports if his interest was major get in the way of me getting LAID.

                          I don't understand why people arne't keeping eye on the prize here.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                            I'm sorry, guys, but you're now starting to sound like -- and please pardon the language -- fucking paleo princesses who want "respect" for your diet before the person even knows whether or not he wants to ask you on a date.

                            For chrissakes, it really doesn't matter at this point. It will matter when you decide you want to household. It does not matter before then. UNLESS he's aggressive about it (ie, trying to convince or force you to eat what you don't want to eat).

                            So lets talk about this a bit.

                            First, when you are in a bar, a person is getting to know what kind of person you are. If you are immediately rejecting someone who likes sub shops because you think he loves sub shops a lot because he asked you about sub shops, then you are a high maintenance princess. Secondarily, if you answer with "i don't eat bread." then you are being a snotty, high maintenance princess.

                            If you answer with "ah, you know, I've tried both Geno's and Pat's, but my preference is really for Rick's because of how they prep the steak for the cheesesteaks, so I guess that puts me into the Pat's category, technically, because Rick is in the Pat's family" this demonstrates that you are a smart chick who understands all things "guy awesomeness" in terms of what is culturally appropriate in that venue.

                            And after his mind is adequately blown, you can sneak in "but it's such a bummer that I can't eat bread anymore, because there's just nothing like a good sub." And then he'd say "oh, why not?" and you'd say "how else do you think I keep my ass looking this good?"

                            Then you get a compliment on your ass AND asked out on a date AND he asks where he can take you so that you can continue to have a good-looking ass which he hopes to get naked in the relatively near future if at all possible.

                            See, then he respects your diet because you're a hot fox who understands guy-talk and demonstrates that you are up for a good time.

                            Otherwise, you are just using your food preferences as another method of keeping people away from you, and you might as well go and start your cat collection, becuase your issues go way deeper than "the guy at the bar asked me about sub shops, so he's obviously disrespectful of my lifestyle."

                            No, he asked you about a sub shop as an introduction to talking about your ass.

                            Do not let your diet inhibit your sex life.
                            Lmfao... thank you for my first real laugh of the day

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              when you have choices you can be picky. and no one would ever accuse me of being a princess if i said i would automatically dismiss a guy who smoked cigarettes or weed or drunk too much. but yeah, funny much lol

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