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  • #16
    Originally posted by seaweed View Post
    lmao amen to that! i have been married to and also dated someone whose idea of good food was KFC. it gets to be very not fun. cooking 2 different meals. trying to fight the junk food culture
    Originally posted by zoebird View Post
    I'm sorry, guys, but you're now starting to sound like -- and please pardon the language -- fucking paleo princesses who want "respect" for your diet before the person even knows whether or not he wants to ask you on a date.
    Gosh, I wasn't even thinking about my diet. I was thinking I don't have time to date a cheap bastard who wants to take me to a sub shop for a first date. If you really want to date me, you either take me to a really nice place and flash me your 6 figure salary or if you don't have a 6 figure salary, you take me to do something fun and interesting that doesn't require money, something that shows me your amazing personality and sense of adventure, something that makes you worth my time. You don't take me out for submarine sandwiches. There will be enough time for that sort of thing once we're long-term (if it ever comes to that.)

    I suppose that's pretty crass, but I did date a man with a 6 figure salary and at first I freaked out about it. I couldn't imagine being with someone so wealthy. I had to come to terms with a belief that somehow I wasn't worth it, that I didn't deserve the best. I know better now. You don't have to have a lot of money to be considered the best, but you do have to have more to offer than a sandwich. Or else it better be a hell of a sandwich.
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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    • #17
      First, I never said don't have preferences. What I did say is don't be too picky.

      Particularly at this stage. Be picky when you're talking about householding (or when you're considering it). Don't be picky when a person is hitting on you.

      Why? You don't know him yet. You don't know if he smokes, does weed, drinks too much, likes sub shops, or respects your diet. These are the sorts of things you learn when *dating* not when going to a bar to meet someone.

      If you want to get to dating people, you have to get through this first litmus test. The first litmus test is the banter at the bar. If that goes well, you get asked out.

      Then, on the date, you might learn that he doesn't fall into your preferences, then you can say thanks but no thanks.

      But if you shut down every guy in the bar with high-maintenance princess behavior, you're definitely not going to get what you want. You're gonna have to kiss a few frogs to find the prince, so to speak.

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      • #18
        Uhm, but he didn't invite her to a sub shop. He asked her what her favorite sub shop was. That's a wholly different question. And, it also depends upon context. This sub shop question is a big deal in PA (sheetz/wawa question), and if it's shifted to cheesesteaks, it's an even *bigger* cultural question. But it doesn't say that the guy's idea of a good meal is a sub shop, or that he is going to take you to one, or that he's cheap, or whatever else.

        He wasn't even asking her on a date, and she failed pretty much any "will I ask this gal on a date" test.

        And you dismissed him as cheap simply becuase he asked about sub shops.

        Which meant that he -- say it was me even -- would have the option to take you to a nice restaurant with a fancy salary flash OR do something fun and free (which six-figure salary people do too) because, guess what? Attitude toward the question is that it's wrong to ask and you are offended, as opposed to simply playfully answering the question behind the question so that you COULD get asked out.

        These guys are testing to see if the lady is interested and interesting. If you are not interested, fine. Be polite -- don't carry on the conversation and find an easy out of it. If you are interested, then be interesting. Because if you are not interesting, then you will not be asked out.

        And then, you can have some influence on the date, even. I always did. He would call to ask me out, and I would make a few recommendations of things to do "I like these restaurants. I like to do these sorts of things. Did you hear about this (free cool event)? Maybe we could do that!" Then he decides from that list, knowing that he'll please you within those choices, and also be able to show who he is and how he works, too.

        Seriously.
        Last edited by zoebird; 10-27-2012, 08:02 PM.

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        • #19
          Zoe, has given a lot of good advice and most importantly PERSPECTIVE, I hope the OP will learn from her posts.
          Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
          Starting Weight: 294 pounds
          Current Weight: 235 pounds
          Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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          • #20
            No, he asked you about a sub shop as an introduction to talking about your ass
            every conversation
            beautiful
            yeah you are

            Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
            lol

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            • #21
              I disagree with some people here. Unless you're looking for a fling, being upfront as early as possible is a good thing in most cases.

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              • #22
                Dude owns the chain of subway shops, is a multi-billionaire, and was blown off by a chick who doesn't do wheat. Now that's funny.
                ----------------------------------------
                F, 48, 5'10"
                Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
                Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

                Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Louisa655 View Post
                  Dude owns the chain of subway shops, is a multi-billionaire, and was blown off by a chick who doesn't do wheat. Now that's funny.
                  LMFAO - that would be soooooo funny !!!!!
                  "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                  ...small steps....

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                  • #24
                    Out east...I have a friend. He talks about "grinder shops" Sub shops are the big thing out there...I think he was just trying to make conversation, by talking about something she was familiar with to make her comfortable.

                    But what do I know about dating..I've been married for 40 years.
                    Start weight 182
                    weight now 162
                    goal weight 132

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                    • #25
                      My response wasn't me being a picky "princess" just about me being basically honest, and not a naturally very flirty person . I generally don't discuss my diet with anyone unless it's sort of imperative I do so (like they're gonna shove a piece of cake at me if I don't tell them lol). Even then I keep it low key. I just don't want to give some guy the impression that I like something I don't, or later (if there is a later) it's going to make me seem dishonest!

                      Honestly, I actually don't care THAT much about my partner's dietary choices if they make an effort to be fit/healthy etc. As long as we can live and let live, I'm cool with that. Sure it can be a PITA having to organise different meals for different people but meh... if you're with someone who you really click with that doesn't matter so much!

                      I just don't see a problem being upfront with a guy when he asks something random about your food choices!

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Iron Fireling View Post
                        My response wasn't me being a picky "princess" just about me being basically honest, and not a naturally very flirty person . I generally don't discuss my diet with anyone unless it's sort of imperative I do so (like they're gonna shove a piece of cake at me if I don't tell them lol). Even then I keep it low key. I just don't want to give some guy the impression that I like something I don't, or later (if there is a later) it's going to make me seem dishonest!

                        Honestly, I actually don't care THAT much about my partner's dietary choices if they make an effort to be fit/healthy etc. As long as we can live and let live, I'm cool with that. Sure it can be a PITA having to organise different meals for different people but meh... if you're with someone who you really click with that doesn't matter so much!

                        I just don't see a problem being upfront with a guy when he asks something random about your food choices!
                        The key is to know what he's really asking (like zoe said)
                        Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                        Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                        Current Weight: 235 pounds
                        Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                        • #27
                          If you're looking for some amazing prince, you're likely looking in the wrong place. I met my DH when I was 19, so I never went to bars looking for a date. But guys at bars looking for a date are going to ask generic questions to weed out girls, like zoe suggested. No one is saying you should be dishonest, just know that it's light banter in a bar and don't make it a serious conversation.

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                          • #28
                            Well, I guess he didn't pass the flirt test with me because he's got to do better than ask me my favorite sandwich shop. The other day a guy asked me if I'd like an opportunity to take a whiz in the Reagan Library. Now that piqued my interest.
                            Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                            • #29
                              Wow, poor guys!

                              Now I understand why the good ones have taken themselves off the market and just sit at the bar instead of approaching girls.

                              One can be honest while still being fun! People read waaaaaay too much into casual bar conversations.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by sarasue624 View Post
                                Wow, poor guys!

                                Now I understand why the good ones have taken themselves off the market and just sit at the bar instead of approaching girls.

                                One can be honest while still being fun! People read waaaaaay too much into casual bar conversations.
                                Yeah, I feel sorry for some of the dudes mentioned in this thread. I'm sure it takes quite a bit of courage to approach a stranger at the bar and strike up a conversation.

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