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Off the wagon - total frustration :(

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  • Off the wagon - total frustration :(

    I fell off the wagon yesterday and today by having mega huge tubs of ice cream for "lunch". This happens everytime I think about stuff I am not happy about. I guess I am an emotional carb eater. Any ideas on how to stop this behavior?

  • #2
    Eh, stuff happens, mistakes were made, I did not have sexual relations with that woman, etc.

    Shrug your shoulders and carry on. Worrying about it is probably more harmful than whatever was in that icecream.
    Last edited by Legbiter; 10-19-2012, 05:29 PM.

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    • #3
      I do the same thing. And I don't know how to tell you to quit except to accept it happened, recognize what triggered it and move on. Think of one thing you could do to stop it next time the situation comes up. And when it happens again remember you are human. This is a journey. You are not going to be perfect. Enjoy it and keep living!
      You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

      Age 48
      height 5'3
      SW 215 lbs
      CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
      LW 172 lbs
      GW 125ish lbs

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      • #4
        I third the above posts. I actually just had half a pint of ice cream yesterday! It wasn't the least bad for you kind, either - it had peanut butter in it, and corn syrup was one of the ingredients....so good, though! (Moose Tracks) I focused on the fact that the rest of the meal was a veggie soup with prosciutto and crab, and now I'm back to the grind today, so no big deal!

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        • #5
          As a recovering emotional eater, I have a clear process.

          If I feel a craving coming on -- the "i want to eat this tub of ice cream" -- I stop myself and ask "why do I want to eat this tub of ice cream? Am I trying *not* to feel something?"

          Once I have an answer to that question, I then ask myself "what would make me feel safe and able to process the feeling so that I can feel the feeling?"

          Usually, I need time and space, and I have to schedule it. I'll tell DH: I'm feeling some intense things, and I need soem time/space fo rmyself. When can that happen? It's usually within 24 hrs.

          I then ask myself "do I really need to eat this in order to comfort myself for the next 24 hrs, or am I ok staying on task and knowing that I"ll ahve the time to deal with those feelings later?"

          Sometimes, I choose to have a *small amount* of the treat to get the "rush" of that. Sometimes I choose to be a bit more primally indulgent (ie, eating an extra egg or adding more butter or something). And sometimes I just choose to have a cup of tea and let it be until I have the time/space to deal with it.

          More and more, it's the third option. That's the majority of the time. I went through a major upheaval (stress/emotional time) over the last 10 days, and I didn't stress-eat/emotional-eat *once*. So, it can be done.

          But it is a process and it takes concerted effort and awareness.

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          • #6
            Very impressive Zoebird. And some wonderful advice. Thank you.
            You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

            Age 48
            height 5'3
            SW 215 lbs
            CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
            LW 172 lbs
            GW 125ish lbs

            Comment


            • #7
              I used to be an emotional eater eating ice cream by the truckload, but those cravings are completely gone now. I don't know how exactly but I think eating lots of healthy fats like butter and coconut oil has something to do with it. Ever since going primal about 4 months ago I just don't see the sugary stuff as food any more. I still occasionally enjoy some quality ice cream, but a few scoops satisfies me now.
              As for stress and emotional eating, let me tell you about a recent experience: I got married last month and had been eating primally for months before that to get into shape. I felt (and looked) great. With the wedding coming closer, stress levels were rising. Being with family, it was hard to control my food so I went off the wagon a bit too. I had fries (chips in UK) the week before and again the day before (battered fish and chips), and on the wedding day even indulged in some bacon wraps (I ate the bread). Result: I was terribly ill the day after. Lesson learnt, crappy food, certainly combined with stress, makes me ill, so in a way it was a good experience to reinforce that into my mind. Not sure why I am saying all this, but maybe it helps to learn to associate feeling crappy with junk food.

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              • #8
                Shrug your shoulders and carry on. Worrying about it is probably more harmful than whatever was in that icecream.

                Originally posted by FlyingPig View Post
                maybe it helps to learn to associate feeling crappy with junk food.

                I agree with both of these above comments. Actually, I would think the 80/20 principle would easily cover a tub or two of icecream, so if you look at it that way you haven't fallen off any wagon at all.

                In time, you will so love the feeling of feeling great eating primally and bad when you don't, that the temptations will lose their hold. Meanwhile, no great harm done.
                Annie Ups the Ante
                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

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                • #9
                  We all have these types of days, and unless you're completely disciplined with a willpower of steel, you will fall off the wagon occasionally. That's what the 20% is for. Dust yourself up, remind yourself that whatever couple pound you gain is going to be mostly water weight from all that sugar, and will be easily lost with a few days of healthy eating and exercise. Eventually it will become easier as these foods are no longer a dietary staple and you are more used to eating real food.
                  F 28/5'4/100 lbs

                  "I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high-functioning sociopath; do your research."

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                  • #10
                    I would say, though, that there's a big difference from simply "falling off the wagon" -- from deviating from the diet due to circumstance (ie, you're out and about, hungry, and the only thing available is non-primal but still relatively healthy) or deviating on purpose (ie, it's a wedding, i'm having cake and champagne!) -- and what emotional eaters do.

                    what an emotional eater is doing is not accidentally falling off the wagon. the emotional eater has a self-comforting, self-sabotage system wherein feelings are not felt and food is used for comfort in that process. This is an unhealthy behavioral pattern, not just "oops, I ate a tub of ice cream today."

                    I know the difference. There are times when I *actively choose* to eat off the diet. It's not that big of a deal if we decide that we'll be going bowling with DS and the ILs and order pizza there. It will be off-diet. No big deal. it's a choice. Likewise, DH, DS, and I were on a country drive and I thought hte town we were heading to was much closer than it was. We got really hungry, and pulled over at a small roadside cafe to ask for directions and the like. They told us it would be another hour before we got there, so we opted to eat. The meal was not primal, but it was healthy overall and it was fine.

                    But, there are times when I'm stressed and/or emotional and I go. . . i want cookies. I can go and get cookies and then I will eat all of the cookies. I'll have a stomach ache, maybe, but then I can relate my "bad feeling' to the physical feeling and still continue to disassociate from my emotional process (which I am not experiencing/processing).

                    And, the thing about this is that it is largely unconscious, and we are smart enough to call it "oh, it's just part of the 20%!" btu then when we are gaining, not reaching our goals, becoming less healthy, we can blame the diet, rather than our emotional eating. . . and even if we get really strict with the diet again. . . we are likely to fail because we do not have a method of dealing with our FEELINGS.

                    So, it will come up again, we'll excuse it at 20%, and then begin to faileo, and then the cycle keeps going.

                    I want to stop the cycle of emotional eating in myself. I want to make sure that I never gain that much weight again (from two separate 2 yr stints spent emotionally eating), I don't want to go through that my mother, father, and sister go-through health-wise, self-esteem-wise, and else-wise in terms of their continued, uncontrolled yo-yoing between diets and emotional eating. They eat emotionally, that's why their diets fail (and/or, they have to find another reason why they are fat such as 'thyroid trouble' or 'vitamin D insufficiency' -- so it's never their fault, it's not the emotional eating).

                    If you, like me, are an emotional eater and you want to stop the cycle, you have to be willing to

                    A. admit that you use food for comfort and are an emotional eater;
                    B. be willing to feel your feelings and come up with new ways of feeling and managing those feelings (this might involve counseling);
                    C. be willing to go through a process to stop emotionally eating -- to emote rather than eat.

                    If we always just excuse it, then we'll never break the cycle.

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                    • #11
                      Zoebird, I used to be a major emotional eater, and also have a distant history of bulimia as a teen. I was very much convinced it's solely a psych problem until I had weightloss surgery (sleeve gastrectomy) and the urge to eat to comfort myself subsided to an extent where I actually feel like I can honestly say I'm not an emotional eater anymore. I still enjoy food, and as such, occasionally eat more than I should and often plan my meals painstakingly to make sure they are as delicious as possible even if it means much more time spent cooking; but I'm not eating to soothe my nerves anymore. My cravings also decreased significantly - this was pre-primal, so it wasn't a function of a change in diet beyond just quantities of what I ate. I did a bit of research and realized that ghrelin and serotonin in the GI system are probably the likely culprits behind my "emotional eating," and once the surgery changed the hormone balance in my gut, it became obvious that very little of my eating habits had to do with my mental state and thinking patterns.

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                      • #12
                        That's interesting.

                        There are certainly a lot of gut-connections with the brain in a lot of ways. reading GAPS was really eye-opening for me as well. And going through GAPS with DH, the change in him emotionally has also been surprising. It isn't all "in his head."

                        For me, though, I can only speak from my own experience. When I went vegan, I was able to get myself off of a lot of chemicals in processed foods. That made a huge difference. It was like going through withdrawal.

                        Changing to primal didn't do much, but changing to this IF protocol has changed a lot of things too -- such that I'm way more sensitive to "off diet" things (immediate reactions in the body).

                        But, this is still my primary process, and until I was willing to be really direct with myself as an emotional eater in this way (not that other ways aren't also helpful, but simply "it's ok, move on" certainly isn't helpful for me because it's a good place to "hide"), I wasn't able to really know that I had power over it.

                        It isn't just your gut making you do it, though I grant, that it might not just be your mind that gets you through/out of it.

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                        • #13
                          I don't think you can expect to never fall off the wagon. Oh boy, did I fall off the wagon this weekend. Thursday was almond cake, friday was a lot of booze, ice cream, bread.... and saturday was a fried corn biscuit with brisket. It was all awesome in celebration of my birthday and nothing I regret. Back on the wagon today, may take a few days to get straight.

                          You just have to get back on the wagon, get rolling again, know these things come up. I don't feel guilty. It was all delicious, not stuff I should eat every day.... and the fact that I seldom eat that stuff made it that much tastier.

                          I think when you eat something off the plan, think about what you were doing BEFORE turning primal. I can't be too mad at myself for eating chocolate cake and ice cream once in two months when it used to be an almost daily occurance to eat crap. I know there are people that never indulge- good for them. But you need to find the moderation that works for you.

                          http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                          Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                          • #14
                            Dug this thread up because I'm so far off the wagon. It's upsetting because I kept saying "oh it's just for a day" then "oh it's just a few days" then "oh <fill in the blank> event is coming" and now I'm nearly three full months off the wagon and up almost 20 lbs. It only just hit me the extent of the fail when my clothes stopped fitting I really appreciated reading zoebird's comments regarding emotional eating. I'm pretty sure that's a huge part of it for me. I know that's weird for a guy to admit to be I know that's it because when I was on the wagon well, I never even had the cravings, and felt great emotionally. Now I'm all down in the dumps and eating horrible. It's a vicious cycle and difficult to come out of. But I fully agree that getting the emotions in check is what will make all the difference, otherwise you just fall right back off the wagon.
                            -Chuck

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                            • #15
                              Hey! I think I am an "un-diagnosed" emotional eater/drinker and it was a couple of things said in this thread that made me think about it. I too have "fallen" of the wagon - more likely jumped to be honest....... and after I finally got DH on board with primal..... and the disappointment in myself is driving even more of this behaviour.....

                              I wake up every morning telling myself that I will do better today and there will be something that "stops" me i.e that I allow to divert me. I have the willpower of an ant really BUT am now thinking that I just need to not be too hard on myself and applaud the primal meals and work to change the ones that aren't.

                              Felt like crap last night after eating bread for the first time in 8 weeks yesterday......... gonna go for a loooong walk today so I have something to cheer about.

                              I feel for other people who have this relationship with food (and much worse) - it cannot be an easy thing to live with.

                              Good luck everyone

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