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Cure for broken heart?

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  • #46
    Oh the unsavory advise. Men are not that different, some are touchy feely and some not, just like women. In any case it isn't empowering to screw somebody who you don't care about. Don't pretend you haven't watched When Harry Met Sally.

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    • #47
      Originally posted by Credodisi View Post
      I think the advice to go sleep with another girl is fine. It's advice given by men to other men because it works for MEN. Spreading the seed is pretty damn primal and is not really fraught with peril from an evolutionary perspective.

      Wouldn't work for me because I'm female and we have to worry about other aspects of a father to our child in the event we get pregnant.

      I've read the advice in this thread given by women and it's really compassionate and wonderful and sound... as advice to other heart broken women. But why can't a guy just go have sex with a willing partner to forget a woman who hurt him without him being an asshole?
      That's why I put the disclaimer in my post that it's okay to go screw someone else ONLY if she's fully 100% aware that it's just sex. Using some girl for sex to get over someone else is what makes some men into assholes. I was responding more to the "screw her mother/sister/best friend" type comments, which typically sound "asshole" to me (and if they do come to pass, often end up screwing over more than one person and can destroy friendships/relationships).

      BUT going out and having sex with a woman who KNOWS it's just sex and is completely cool with it is fine... it may not fix the pain, but if it helps a guy through... then yeah, that's cool.

      It just reminds me of some article I was reading the other day though, written by a guy who went out and had loads of meaningless sex after his wife left him. Ultimately, it turned him into an ass (he admitted this) and it didn't actually fix the heartbreak.

      Comment


      • #48
        I think that you should get so blind shit faced drunk that you wake up the next morning next to a 400 pound woman with a moustache who says, "Boy, were you drunk when we got married last night!"

        Seriously, whether you are the "get through the pain" type, or the "screw everything that moves" type, I hope you feel better soon.

        Maybe call 20+ pizza delivery places and send them all to her place one night? Order pizzas she doesn't like - triple anchovie with pineapple?
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • #49
          Originally posted by Comma View Post
          Oh the unsavory advise. Men are not that different, some are touchy feely and some not, just like women. In any case it isn't empowering to screw somebody who you don't care about. Don't pretend you haven't watched When Harry Met Sally.
          "I can win a girl's heart by being touchy feely and getting LJBF'd! I saw it in a movie!"

          -Famous last words
          Ye shall know them by their fruits.

          Comment


          • #50
            Originally posted by Laconophile
            Oh, the irony. You are projecting your own sex's psychology onto the opposite sex, and you're projecting your projection too.

            Actually I didn't...
            I said he should do what he feels comfortable with.
            Either option.
            And reported what I've observed many men do who pursued those options.
            And my reactions from pursuing both options as well.

            It's not really a man/woman issue...
            Heartbreak and such are individual personality issues.
            The way to get over it has more to do with the individual than the sexual organs between he legs.

            I don't think/act like the typical "normal" female, I simply don't identify that way and never have, so I don't have those experiences.
            *shrug*
            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

            Comment


            • #51
              Originally posted by Chaohinon
              "Fuck bitches/get money/lift weights" really does work as a psychological shield against the longing. And make sure to throw out anything that reminds you of her, and don't just sequester it in a box somewhere, burn it.

              Also, booze and violent video games. I recommend Dead Space.

              Haha so true. Just add bacon.

              "Go For Broke"
              Fat Kine-230/24% @ 6'2"
              Small Kine-168/9%
              Now- 200/8%
              Goal- 210/6%

              Comment


              • #52
                Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "will you marry me?"
                the girl said - "NO!"
                and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased....did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved some money, had all the hot water to herself, never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid, watched girlie movies, never had the football on, never wore fricken lacey lingerie that went up your arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked good in sweat pants and shirt, and burped, swore and farted all the time !!!!


                THE END
                "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                ...small steps....

                Comment


                • #53
                  Hey there!

                  I'm the cowardly relationship guy from another thread.

                  My advice is to take the time to focus on you. If there's any bad habits you want to break, do that. If there's anything you've always wanted to try, do that. If you've not spent time with your friends, take a little time to do that too. Have you wanted to build a fire pit? Perfect time.

                  Host some parties if you're an extrovert, finish up your reading list if you're intro (I'm an extreme introvert...I have a reading list of motivation books...that...I need to get around to reading...hah...) Don't dwell on things if you can help it.
                  Down from 275 to 250!
                  Werewolf Primal Living Blog - http://lycanthropology.com
                  Some fact, a lot of fiction! Keep track of my progress there!

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Originally posted by NZ primal Gwamma View Post
                    Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "will you marry me?"
                    the girl said - "NO!"
                    and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased....did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, travelled more, had many boyfriends, saved some money, had all the hot water to herself, never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid, watched girlie movies, never had the football on, never wore fricken lacey lingerie that went up your arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked good in sweat pants and shirt, and burped, swore and farted all the time !!!!


                    THE END
                    Haha well played.
                    "Go For Broke"
                    Fat Kine-230/24% @ 6'2"
                    Small Kine-168/9%
                    Now- 200/8%
                    Goal- 210/6%

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Originally posted by Wanderlust View Post
                      Haha well played.
                      sorry Wanderlust - totally irrelevent to this thread.... but I just couldn't resist !
                      "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                      ...small steps....

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Thank you for the support and advice- it's very nice and very appreciated.

                        Last Monday she wrote me an email.

                        TFC,

                        I am writing this email because I am truly sorry and I want you to know that. I know that last night was hard for you as it was for me too. I never meant to hurt you nor did I use you and I really want you to know that. When you and I first got together I was so excited and happy because you had so many great qualities that were compatible with me- your sensitivity, thoughtfulness, kindness, sweet nature, not to mention all of the shared experiences we have. It felt right, it felt good. As time went on, I started getting scared a bit because I realized you were way more ready for this relationship than I and I started having crazy feelings. Feelings that left me pushing back a bit. I felt like I needed space and time with my friends and sister, which you happily gave most of the time. I really just don't think I was ready, TFC. As much as I can say this and that and whatever were the cause, I really just think that is what it is. Like you have said in the past, anything can be interpreted a certain way depending on what you are looking for; I was scared.

                        I sincerely apologize for hurting you, TFC. I tried and it did not work and for that I will not apologize. I had and have true feelings for you and that will always be in my heart. I had no intentions of hurting you, ever. I never used you or meant to make you feel that way. I thought I was ready and thought my crazy feelings would go away. They didn't and frankly, just got crazier as our relationship went on. It is pretty clear to me now that I cannot move on from my past in my current state. I know you love me and I hold that very close and dear. I have never been loved by a man the way you loved me, never. Thank you for everything, the way you treated me, cared for me, tried for me…all of that is not unrecognized or forgotten. It was real. I hope someday you can forgive me and I hope you don't feel resentful of our time together. I treasure it.

                        Please reach out if you feel inclined, but don't feel obligated as I know this is probably difficult.

                        Love,

                        Her
                        I din't respond to this but posted a photo gallery on Facebook of photos of us having fun together this past summer, with a description "@Her while my heart hurts so much right now I will remember our summer together fondly. I wish you always the best; thank you for everything". Just my way of trying to let her know I accepted the situation.

                        That afternoon I got a text from her:

                        "I saw your facebook message and your pictures. I think matters of the heart are better left off of Facebook, so I wanted to respond to you personally- my heart hurts too and I will always remember you fondly. It was an epic summer and I hope we can talk again someday"

                        I didn't respond to that.

                        I need some help with this though:

                        I got two texts just now from her:

                        "Hi TFC - obviously you don't want to talk to me. I get it but I have your belongings and would like to return them to you, how would you like me to do this?"

                        "Also, I would like to keep it as its very meaningful to me, but understand if you would like the chest back. Let me know."

                        All she has of mine is a cell phone charger, a button up shirt, some socks. I want her to throw it all away I don't care about it and I don't want to see her again. Seeing her again just to reclaim worthless crap would hurt so much. Beyond that I don't even want to text her back or talk to her ever again. It would cause me a lot of pain.

                        She has some toiletries at my place that I handed her when she broke with me 8 days ago, but she refused to pick up and take with her. As far as I am concerned she doesn't want them either.

                        The chest she refers to is a piece of furniture I refurbished for her for her birthday in July as a surprise. You can see before/after pictures of it here: http://sdrv.ms/MYbYFO

                        I don't want to look at the chest again or even think about it.
                        ad astra per aspera

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                        • #57
                          If you truly don't wish to speak to her again block her number from your phone and block her from FB and be done with it.

                          You can have whatever pictures you want posted and she can't see them anymore.
                          And she can't text you annoying messages about meeting you to exchange meaningless socks.

                          Peace man.
                          “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                          ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                          And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            She's crazy, you're better off. Steer the fk clear of that oncoming trainwreck.

                            PS: sell or destroy the chest she doesn't deserve it.
                            Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                            Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                            Current Weight: 235 pounds
                            Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                            • #59
                              I wanted to response to you personally...she says in a text message.

                              I would text her one last time to tell her to throw your stuff away and that her stuff will be outside the door if she wants them.

                              TFC, congratulations on your quality of life improvements. I'm sorry that it hurts so much, though.
                              If I just said LOL, I lied. Do or do not. There is no try.

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                how long did you date this woman for?

                                it sounds like she is trying to do whatever she can to see you. socks, phone charger, etc. maybe she realizes that she made a mistake. however, after the breakup and the email she sent, i'd say you are better off without that kind of nonsense in your life.

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