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Cure for broken heart?

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  • #16
    Time, exercise, distraction, a new relationship

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    • #17
      Go out for a looooong walk this extended weekend (maybe hike!) and just reflect on it for 4 hours. But I wouldn't know. The times when I thought my boyfriend was going to break up with me, I just went straight to Whole Foods and bought a 90% chocolate bar.
      My chocolatey Primal journey

      Unusual food recipes (plus chocolate) blog

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Louisa655 View Post
        Continue eating well, working out and be ready when that next great person, unexpectedly walks into your life. Give yourself some time, and figure out how to be happy solo for a while. We've all been there, that's for sure.
        This x 1000.

        I'm about 15 months out from my last soul-crushing break up, and still waiting for that great guy myself, but it's just a matter of time. The thing is, we are never given anything we can't handle. We are all complete beings and the sooner we love ourselves for simply being who we are, that wonderful person will come in to the picture.

        Hang in there, and don't bang her friends. She'll just go psycho on you, and rightfully so.
        “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi

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        • #19
          Hang in there. Time heals all (for the most part at least)

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          • #20
            Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
            I know this is cliche, but find the pieces, pick 'em up, and keep walking. I had an ex do the same thing.
            If what you do is fairly brainless, use it as a form of meditation.
            Set aside a time to truly reflect on that relationship. I'm not talking 20 minutes. This may be an all nighter. Go through all of it, the happy times, the sad times, the rough times, the good times. Reflect on how she changed you and how you learned from each other. Allow yourself to feel as you go through it, to cry, get enraged, smile, and laugh. This will go a long way towards helping the healing. You may not be far enough into your mourning to do that though, so that call is yours.
            Let it out as you can. A soul in pain can only fester if not allowed to breathe.
            Find reasons to smile and laugh. Beg, borrow, or steal funny movies and books. Get lost in enjoying things you couldn't while you were attached.
            Your heart will heal, eventually. I can't say when, but you will love again. One day you'll wake up and she won't be your first thought. One day, she'll be put aside in a special box in your memories and filed away. For now, let yourself process it.

            fast cat that is sad, and I so agree with Naiadknight. You have got to go through the whole grief process. You have lost a loved one - so take each day as it comes, don't do nothing stupid, and keep feeding yourself. You so don't want to be low in nutrients at this tough time. If it means just buying the basics - butter, cream, meat and a pkt of lettuce - just do it, and tomorrow you might feel a miniscule better. I haven't been through a breakup but have lost two children - and the emotions are all very similar.
            Good luck and we are here for you man
            G
            "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

            ...small steps....

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            • #21
              Grok would have spent many hours remaking his fishing nets. I crochet, but I'm female. Fishing net crochet is much more manly.

              Anyhow, find a project that is repetitive and mindless and results in a physical object at the end. Then do it and let your mind and body rest. Choose something easy for you and easy to control.

              I really think the "hop on another woman" advice is really about proving to yourself that you are still in control. Should probably not use another person to prove this to yourself... stick to fishing nets.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by TheFastCat View Post
                A woman I loved very much pulled the rug out from underneath me and broke my heart last weekend. My heart is utterly destroyed. I am so sad. Beyond this my life seems empty and lonely without her and I don't find fulfillment, enjoyment or motivation for anything. I have lost weight that I don't have to lose, food is unappealing and tasteless. I continue to exercise but lack desire to. I don't want to be by myself but I have no where else to be that I want to go. I look ahead and there is nothing I want or am excited for.

                My heart hurts so much. I don't want it anymore. I am so sad.

                How is there anything evolutionary about what I feel. I don't want to feel this way. Why do I and how can I stop. Is there a drug? sitting in front of my work computer feels like a prison of misery
                That happens to nearly everyone somewhere along the journey. Looking back when that happened to me, I laugh now at how sad and forlorn I was. I laid on the ground for hours the day after I was dumped and wanted to just die. (seriously, how silly is that?)

                Yes it sucks to love someone who does not share the feelings mutually or at your level. It taught me to respect who I am, I love me.
                I vowed I would never allow myself to feel the that level of pain again because I value me. I continued with the females through my life, not with bitterness but of a sort of evaluation of the total person and how much I was willing to connect. Eventually I found the right person who was worthy of my life, she is a gem. Took a while though...but life is an adventure. It's ok to be single, go find out who YOU are and what YOU want. Somewhere in your journey, life will present you with someone who is supportive and will compliment you as well as you to her. Realize you are ok by yourself for now. Pick yourself up, knock off the dust and know you are a worthwhile person. What you seek is out there, go find it.
                Last edited by Moochy; 10-05-2012, 01:01 PM.
                Primal/Paleo is not for everyone, it's for those who have committed to understand.
                READ THE BOOK! ...as Robb Wolf says: "Trying to convince people to save their own ass will burn you out."

                Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for -- the pure enjoyment of food.” Anthony Bourdain

                and yes, calories DO count my little piggies

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                • #23
                  Grow a beard
                  Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                  Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                  Current Weight: 235 pounds
                  Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                  • #24
                    ...What does not kill us, makes us stronger...Time will heal.

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                    • #25
                      Originally posted by TheFastCat View Post
                      A woman I loved very much pulled the rug out from underneath me and broke my heart last weekend. My heart is utterly destroyed. I am so sad. Beyond this my life seems empty and lonely without her and I don't find fulfillment, enjoyment or motivation for anything. I have lost weight that I don't have to lose, food is unappealing and tasteless. I continue to exercise but lack desire to. I don't want to be by myself but I have no where else to be that I want to go. I look ahead and there is nothing I want or am excited for.

                      My heart hurts so much. I don't want it anymore. I am so sad.

                      How is there anything evolutionary about what I feel. I don't want to feel this way. Why do I and how can I stop. Is there a drug? sitting in front of my work computer feels like a prison of misery
                      ...Hang in there...are we learning anything?

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                      • #26
                        take life one day at a time, it's all you can do
                        beautiful
                        yeah you are

                        Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                        lol

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                        • #27
                          You don't have to feel the way you are feeling. All the love you felt for her you can feel for you. It sounds crazy, I know, but it's very sweet.

                          Byron Katie - I need a boyfriend - YouTube

                          My prescription for you FTC is to obsessively watch all Byron Katie videos until you understand what she's saying. Also, she has a book called "I Need Your Love: Is that True?"

                          Hang in there, it will get better. Really!

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                          • #28
                            chamomile tea helps.

                            honestly, it's great and decreasing stress/stimuli which this grieving process has a ton of. When I lost my rabbit (i know it's not a comparison but it is grief), i pretty much just drank chamomile tea for days on end. It really did help.

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                            • #29
                              I am having trouble with admonishing those who are suggesting that he sleep with girlfriends, sisters etc of his ex-girlfriend.
                              Suggesting that he not do that because it will hurt other people...kind of... makes me think that he would be overpowering/co-ercing these other women. Making them do something they don't want to do.

                              So, if he sleeps with other women, who might be close to the ex, I think we should assume that they also want to have sex with him. So as others have therefore pointed out he has no obligation to the one who broke up with him, so as long as his partner is willing he should be able to have sex with any adult person he wants.

                              Does that make sense? Sometimes I talk, and it doesn't come out right.

                              Although, I am not convinced that would help him feel better.
                              Female, age 51, 5' 9"
                              SW - 183 (Jan 22, 2012), CW - 159, GW - healthy.

                              Met my 2012 goals by losing 24 pounds.
                              2013 goals are to get fit and strong!

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                              • #30
                                Know that you will go through all the stages of grief. Knowing what to expect is enlightening. I hope your journey is a fast one. Go out with friends and have some drinks and talk about stuff. Doesn't have to be her, just go out with friends. Lay a guilt trip on them if needed to take you out.

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