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  • #16
    Are you sure you enforced the seriousness of your diet to her? If she expects you to eat something you cannot, it either means she is not respecting your choices or doesn't understand them. "Eat this before it goes bad" sounds like not understanding (mostly because I would hate to think she doesn't GAF about your health). She's going to either need to make you-friendly meals, or eat some friggin' leftovers, ESPECIALLY since you are the one with the job.

    Also, yeah, I am the bacon-bringer in my house. Boyfriend eats Primal dinners and ramen for lunch. I would rather spend more on OTHER SAD things than have him eat ramen, but he makes a fuss about he money and won't suggest other things I can get him when I try to find something else I can buy him. Gotta compromise somewhere.
    Depression Lies

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    • #17
      hold on, so she stays with you, doesn't have a job, and is a picky eater? is she contributing to the household any other way?
      Here to eat and move like a caveman, not look or stink like one

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Jer37208 View Post
        hold on, so she stays with you, doesn't have a job, and is a picky eater? is she contributing to the household any other way?

        She better be able to suck a mean di....oh nevermind. not my business anyway.

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        • #19
          Tell her not to make extra unless she intends to eat it. JMO, but this lack of respect for your food preferences is a big red flag to me~ this girlfriend isn't a life partner, unless you want to always play this power game. What would happen if you needed to eat a certain way due to a medical condition?

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          • #20
            Originally posted by Westly View Post
            Hey there everyone!

            How have you been?

            Things have not been well in the land of the werewolf. ;_;

            I was swimming along just dandily, and then...Life totally got in the way. I was 95% primal, doing all kinds of (Beginner level) Convict conditioning... I was down over 35lbs!

            And then...well, my girlfriend moved in.

            My girlfriend doesn't like to cook. She doesn't like fish. She doesn't like seafood. She doesn't know how to grill, and refuses to learn (If she refuses to learn, she never has to do it!) She doesn't know how to broil, she insists there needs to be bread and potatoes in everything...

            Cue depression.

            I quit eating primal, I gave in to her demands for fast food, ice cream...and indulged myself.

            Now I'm back to where I was before, and...I don't want to be here!!

            So, I'm going to try to get back. Some words of encouragement are totally needed, everyone! My life has not been good for some time, and I could totally use some gentle get back on the horse. (Is the horse delicious? Can I eat it?)

            I hope you all remember me! I'm gonna try to become an active member again!

            I've got the PB on my Kindle, and I'm reading the Omnivore's Dilema. Good to see you all again!
            Starry-eyed love (lust) took over and you were temporarily derailed. It happens. For some it is the holidays or stress or just the thought that a little bit won't hurt... as you see, it can.

            She cannot demand you to eat anything you don't want to eat, my dear. If she does, then I think there is a problem. Both of you should be loving to explore what the other loves. It is her turn to indulge you! Start that blog up again. At one time you were so motivated and so proud and so content that you wrote about it. Do it again! Write; be cathartic about it. It will come back to you as the good healthy body comes back.

            You can live Primal in the same household with a nonPrimal if they shut up and let you be. Don't just try to get back... get back on that horse! Don't eat it; a dead horse won't be that fun to ride.
            sigpic
            Age 48
            Start date: 7-5-12
            5'3"
            121lbs
            GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


            "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
            Henri Frederic Amiel

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Westly View Post
              Hey all!

              I've been with her for six or seven years now, and I cooked my own food previously. (Which is why I was able to stick so well to Primal!) but when she moved in near the beginning of the year, she said that she would prepare the meals. I told her that I'd really like to stick to Primal, and she says "Oh, well, a few potatoes aren't going to kill you." and "It's just a little sugar in the chicken!" (WTF?) (And by a little she means about a quarter cup.) And "I've set out some pound cake for you, eat it before it goes bad." She doesn't take what I'm doing seriously, because to her, it's not serious.

              I've been doing my part. I generally make a lot of crock-pot meals (Because WF has been having a lot of stellar sales on roasts!) I bake my own fish (She hates fish) pan fry my own scallops, make my own soups (Typically a from scratch chicken coconut curry with home made stock), roll my own meatballs, and do all of the grilling. I make quite a bit of my own food, but she also eats a lot earlier than I do (She needs to eat around 5-6PM) and I don't even get home from work until around 7 or 8, so she makes extra of whatever she's eating, and expects me to eat it before it 'goes bad'. She doesn't like eating leftovers. I've got a bit of a hangup about food going to waste (Comes from being poor as a teenager) so I tend to finish off things she doesn't eat as well.

              I would love it if she'd buy her own food, but, currently, I'm the only one with a job, and I buy all the food. She gets sick if she doesn't eat the foods she likes (Which, interestingly enough, MAKE HER SICK!!) and I think it's pretty much a case of "I want you to be like me."

              Thanks for all your suggestions, folks! I'm going to be eating more fish (It's really cheap here in Cali) and sticking to strictly making my own meals. It's just really financially difficult to be funding both Primal and SAD. ;_;
              Wait. You support her? If she doesn't work, then why does she have to eat at 5-6PM? Sounds like she has more weird control issues over food. I hope she can be happy for you as you make some healthy changes in your life. If she cannot, you need to do some serious thinking about her future in your home. She needs a job so she doesn't have to fixate on you. Volunteer???

              Not too helpful, I know. You're a good guy to even care about her feelings at this point!
              sigpic
              Age 48
              Start date: 7-5-12
              5'3"
              121lbs
              GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


              "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
              Henri Frederic Amiel

              Comment


              • #22
                Okay, so she's insisting on cooking (I guess in part because she doesn't work and it's her contribution to the household?) which is great... BUT there needs to be some consideration for your needs. If I were you, I'd tell her how much you appreciate the fact that she wants to cook, but let her know that there are some things you just can't eat! If she can't cook meals that you can eat, tell her that you'll cook your own.

                She may get upset by this, but honestly she's got to learn that there has to be some compromise, and she HAS to learn to respect you and your lifestyle choices. If you've said "no bread and potatoes" and she keeps trying to shove them into you, you've got a problem.

                Being as how I'm the main cook in my house, I just cook primal, generally. Occasionally I will make the kids pasta, but that's only pretty rarely.

                If my husband cooks he knows what I eat and what I don't eat and will generally ask before serving me something (for example, he may cook the meal with potatoes, and I'll just have it sans potatoes, or I'll have just a single piece or whatever).

                Respecting the choice of our partner is pretty important, whether we agree with it or not!

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                • #23
                  Hi there again all!

                  Yeah, I support her 100%. The arrangement was supposed to be that she takes care of the house and cooks while she looks for work, and I bring home the Applewood smoked bacon (The only kind she'll eat...). Unfortunately, it's been months and months now, and while she does cook (Sometimes) she doesn't really take care of the house. I'm stuck taking care of all of my own things (Laundry, some cooking, cleaning) while she hangs out online a whole lot.

                  Anyway, she wants Chinese tonight, and I'm going to have trout. Because rainbow trout beats crap fast food Chinese any day!

                  I think I'm going to take some pictures, and show it off on my blog as well. Thanks for taking a look at it. It helps to be reminded that I was VERY excited about the things I was doing for myself, and to be excited for it once again. ^_^

                  Two trout...and...hm. What goes with trout? I've always been bad about sides!!
                  Down from 275 to 250!
                  Werewolf Primal Living Blog - http://lycanthropology.com
                  Some fact, a lot of fiction! Keep track of my progress there!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    I gather you must love her. But that relationship sounds really uneven to me. She is totally unwilling to accommodate your dietary choices, she's completely dependent on you yet you're letting her walk all over you food wise AND financially because of having to shop for 2 diverse dietary needs and fund her fast food habit.

                    That is just bananas, man. Bananas.
                    yay!

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Dude, is getting laid worth being with someone who's fundamental differences are polar opposite to yours? Either ditch the girlfriend, or grow some balls and and put down your foot on how you are going to eat. If she doesn't like it, or can't support your needs/desires, then give her the walking papers. What kind of person professes her love, but doesn't support you in something as fundamentally important as your health and eating regieme?
                      ----------------------------------------
                      F, 48, 5'10"
                      Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
                      Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

                      Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

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                      • #26
                        Grow a pair or stop complaining. Seriously
                        ----------------------------------------
                        F, 48, 5'10"
                        Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
                        Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

                        Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Mmmmm, trout! I'd have very little with mine, to be honest. Some fresh greens, maybe a tomato? Nothing too heavy that will overpower the flavour.
                          Started Feb 18 2011

                          Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                          Journalling here

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                          • #28
                            So your girlfriend stays online all day while you pay for her stuff. She doesn't do the housework like she said she would.

                            It sounds like you're a "really nice guy".
                            In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

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                            • #29
                              I've got a bit of a hangup about food going to waste (Comes from being poor as a teenager) so I tend to finish off things she doesn't eat as well.
                              That one thing is something you should work on. I sometimes have baked goods as my weekly indulgence, and if I try something and I don't like it, straight into the trash it goes. I cannot bear to waste my treat on inferior stuff.
                              Out of context quote for the day:

                              Clearly Gorbag is so awesome he should be cloned, reproducing in the normal manner would only dilute his awesomeness. - Urban Forager

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by Alex Good View Post
                                So your girlfriend stays online all day while you pay for her stuff. She doesn't do the housework like she said she would.

                                It sounds like you're a "really nice guy".
                                How so?

                                And, I'm just kind of a super coward, I'll be the first to admit it... I hate confrontation, and I did say I'd try to help her. I'll be the first to admit that I'm easily walked on... I kind of always have been. I don't really know how to 'grow a pair' or anything like that because in confrontations with people I care for, I just...don't do well. :/ I honestly don't know how to change it, and I think the whole "Stop complaining" has gotten me to the point I'm at now.

                                Even the post "Grow a pair or stop complaining" made me go "maybe it was a mistake to come back...?" And I totally understand why it was made, but, I dunno, cowardly and easily intimidated, and my self esteems taken a huge hit, so I just assume no one wants me around. Pretty much ever.

                                However, she HAS been given an ultimatium that I intend to stick to. I can do it!

                                But, the trout was amazing. I did it up with rosemary, lemon and some butter. Baked for about 25 minutes, and totally nomed down. Turkey kebabs for lunch, and a hint water for desert. (I wish I could make those... >.>; But I like the blackberry...and don't have any blackberry essential oil, I have lavender (meant to be ingested) but it's not the same!)

                                Off I go to update my blog! Yay!
                                Down from 275 to 250!
                                Werewolf Primal Living Blog - http://lycanthropology.com
                                Some fact, a lot of fiction! Keep track of my progress there!

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