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  • #16
    Originally posted by Bosnic View Post
    The biggest cause of my stress is not moving enough. Sitting in front of a computer, I slowly feel a build up of stress, to the point where I can't take it and must go outside and walk/run/sprint.
    I used to be able to move better. I realized I have so much abdominal fat now, it is hard for me to really run. I realized I have to get my weight down to move. I see what happens to really big people, they get so big, they can't move anymore. This terrifies me, I don't want to end up like that.

    I am doing what I can. I do walk...my neighborhood has streets that have hills, so it's not all flat. I do situps, I do what I can...it's more about releasing the stress than trying for tight abs for me.

    But you have said it all in a nutshell here.

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    • #17
      Don't let money be the barrier. As I said, many studios offer work-study. Usually, the first class is a discounted rate, and then you can ask about work-study positions if you like that studio.

      From the time I was 19 (a student with no money), I did work-study for classes. In the two studios where I did this, I worked one class (greeting, taking money, cleaning up) and got two classes for free. In another studio, I did light cleaning 2x week and got unlimited classes. In both places, I also did work-study for teacher training (value of over $6,000) -- never handing over $1.

      So, just ask. Most studios have work that needs to be done.

      Comment


      • #18
        Originally posted by Credodisi View Post
        My old job was killing me. Lots of responsibility over things I did not have control of. I basically could not sleep through the night for 2 years.. I would wake up in the middle of the night and worry about this and that for hours. I tried all kinds of things to control it... yoga, baths, different time management methods, eating right... but it became clear over time the only way for me to deal with this was to get a new job.

        It took a while, but I finally secured a new job and was able to quit my old one. I took one with less responsibility and for a bit less pay, but I do not regret it for a second. I finally sleep and feel great.

        Find the source of your stress and try to do something about it. Sometimes you cannot do anything but learn to live with it (caring for sick loved ones, death in the family etc) but sometimes you can.

        Wow, you are like a validation here. I know my body has been saying this all along. I can feel myself "repelling" fwhen I am applying for jobs in my field. I am laid off right now....but I have been looking all along for something outside my field. In this economy, this is difficult, because one is competing with so many other unemployed people. But I feel I have to do this, because of the stress.

        I am glad you found something else. I too will work a better job for less money. Heck, I have had so many jobs end or close up, so if I was employed in a less stressful, but more stable job, and less money, I'd fare better in the long run.

        You are right. Quality of life is much more important. I have several sources of stress, but I am very solution-oriented, and nothing makes me feel better than a solution. Otherwise, I am just trying to juggle the stress.

        Thanks for your post.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by doublehelix View Post
          I used to be able to move better. I realized I have so much abdominal fat now, it is hard for me to really run. I realized I have to get my weight down to move. I see what happens to really big people, they get so big, they can't move anymore. This terrifies me, I don't want to end up like that.

          I am doing what I can. I do walk...my neighborhood has streets that have hills, so it's not all flat. I do situps, I do what I can...it's more about releasing the stress than trying for tight abs for me.

          But you have said it all in a nutshell here.
          don't worry about running. just go for long, leisurely walks. it will help clear your head, get you some vitamin d and get you moving. running distance can be profound stress on joints.
          As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

          Ernest Hemingway

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          • #20
            I do think the Cortisol is a problem for me. Too much stress. I realized I don't have a lot of good in my life, and I have to deal with this. It's not all my fault. I made decisions I thought were for the best, and things don't always result in the best.

            A job is not my whole life. It doesn't give me satisfaction, and I want more in life. I haven't been able to find it.

            A lot of people will criticize and blame you if you don't have what they have. You might have worked as hard, or even harder, but they look at the end result-- how you played the game doesn't count, it's whether you win---mentality. I don't define success in terms of workplace success, although money is a tool that can give one freedom. I don't need the title or anything to feel good. What I need is freedom from the workplace politics and games. I just don't function in that. If I had a lot of money, I'd buy a farm or some remote land. My coworkers would be goats and chickens.

            Living off the land was good enough for our ancestors, and it's good enough for us. I sometimes wonder if we are doing our children a disservice by telling them to go to college for jobs that will trap them in cubicles and corporate manipulation.

            Perhaps knowing how to grow one's own food and survive are better skills. We traded in our freedoms to work for others, like slaves, for that currency, and now, we are beholden to it. It takes quite a bit to go "off grid". I know a few who have managed to do it. They had to save a lot of money and get established.

            I think as people grow more and more disgusted with "modern life"...they will seek out ways to be on their own and trade among themselves. They will grow to understand how early man survived and how a new cell phone just isn't going to make life better. We are smarter than advertising, we are smarter than being pidgeon-holed into lives that aren't ours.

            What does it mean to be human? We are animals, but the corporate and business mentality don't really allow for this. I've had jobs where no lunch was allowed. People can bleat all they want about how that is illegal but companies will "schedule" a half hour, but overload workers so they just don't have time to take a lunch. So they back themselves up. Lord help you if you ever get sick, you're not allowed to take off, and illnesses are passed on among coworkers. You wait to get the dreaded flu others have at work.

            I don't have TV, I haven't had it for about 4 years. I don't care about it. So I don't couch potato. The most I've done is watch some videos online about working out and living right. I did get hung up on one about early man and also plate tectonics.

            I found that Cortisol is the reaction to stress, the "fight or flight" and if you are at work, you can't go run outside of the building. Our animal bodies were not made to deal with this. Studies have shown all forms of stress are interpreted the same by the body. So if it's an unreasonable boss or a car accident or a jaguar chasing you, it's interpreted as stress. The body goes into survival mode.

            A lot of information on Cortisol says you can fight it and tame your reactions. But once Cortisol is released, you can't really control how it works. You can't really control if your body releases it. Exercise seems to be a huge key here. But I have read what some body builders say, and they say too long or hard exercise, with people like me, can cause more stress! They suggest short workouts with rest periods. Like quick sprints. Okay, I get that...makes sense...early man walking around in the forest, now has to run back to the cave because night is falling. Or going down to the river to get water. It wasn't always long endurance. Undoing this modern life, both physically and mentally. We can't fight our genes. Our genes are our programming, and they control us down to how we think, feel, and react. We are taught we can control everything, that we don't have to be this way. So far, that's not working. Obesity is growing in the US, and they are pushing refined flour products and "low-fat". That food pyramid. That food pyramid is designed with modern lifestyles. Pasta with very little meat.... Oh, they tell us how runners eat like that. Yeah, runners who do marathons, real marathons. But I am not a marathon runner.

            I am on a quest to change myself, I won't give up until I die, and I am glad this forum, and the people on it, exist.

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by noodletoy View Post
              don't worry about running. just go for long, leisurely walks. it will help clear your head, get you some vitamin d and get you moving. running distance can be profound stress on joints.
              I was having a problem with my hip joints. My body is saying it doesn't want to carry this around. Inflammation in the joints. Oh yeah, more inflammation. I have been taking glucosamine again and it is helping. I can't run. Not yet. When I was slimmer, I could.

              It's hard for me to walk. I feel so unsexy. I look far different than I did decades ago. It isn't aging, it's stress. My mom is older, and she doesn't look like this. Her stress levels are far lower.

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              • #22
                The job I had before this one was in title and escrow, so the financial side of real estate during the boom and ensuing bust. Yeah, no stress there.

                I got laid off 5 years ago and the only job with about the same pay was working a very physically demanding job for the most hated company in the state. Another win.

                But it made me realize that I handle a physically demanding job much better than an emotionally or psychologically demanding job. I'll never go back to the finance/real estate industry again. It's no exaggeration to say that I would rather be unemployed for years. I'm now looking into a career working with animals because that's where I'm at my happiest. That means volunteering at animal shelters after my job and saving as much of my current paycheck while I can. I'm working to make myself known in the industry so that I'm on someone's mind when an opening happens. I'm trying to establish a reputation before I need to use it.

                The pay will probably never be more than half what I make now, but that's literally the price you pay to be at peace with yourself. I just work on being more self-reliant and more fiscally responsible, and have found a boyfriend that has the same attitude.

                You can leave a stressful work environment. You just have to plan it and then follow through.
                Durp.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by RitaRose View Post
                  The job I had before this one was in title and escrow, so the financial side of real estate during the boom and ensuing bust. Yeah, no stress there.

                  I got laid off 5 years ago and the only job with about the same pay was working a very physically demanding job for the most hated company in the state. Another win.

                  But it made me realize that I handle a physically demanding job much better than an emotionally or psychologically demanding job. I'll never go back to the finance/real estate industry again. It's no exaggeration to say that I would rather be unemployed for years. I'm now looking into a career working with animals because that's where I'm at my happiest. That means volunteering at animal shelters after my job and saving as much of my current paycheck while I can. I'm working to make myself known in the industry so that I'm on someone's mind when an opening happens. I'm trying to establish a reputation before I need to use it.

                  The pay will probably never be more than half what I make now, but that's literally the price you pay to be at peace with yourself. I just work on being more self-reliant and more fiscally responsible, and have found a boyfriend that has the same attitude.

                  You can leave a stressful work environment. You just have to plan it and then follow through.

                  You are a strong person. It really shows. Your genetic stock is very smart. It was early man's intelligence that allowed him to survive. I know it hasn't been easy at all. I feel the same. Some people have easier lives, but at the end of the day, we have more experience to draw on.

                  It is becoming more clear to me, that one has to shake off the societal ideas of what is good for us. And you're right, in this economy, it's very hard to even survive. I am originally from the Midwest, and things have declined there for several decades. Yet, we have to survive.

                  I love animals too, and am glad someone like yourself is helping them. You have an awesome life and I know it hasn't been easy. I feel the same. I didn't get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. I don't have anyone to lean on. For a lot of women, a job is just making vacation or new furniture money. They don't have to worry about being on the streets.

                  I am trying to come up with options for myself. I can't go back to school. I still have a loan. I think 3 degrees would make me virtually unemployable. But I apply to a lot of jobs not in "my field". I only need one of them to give me a chance!

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Perhaps consider working outside of your field -- in one that might have some cross overs with what you already know how to do.

                    And yes, a lot of people have a lot of stress these days. It's not just the economy or social expectations. It's how we react to these things as well -- or anything.

                    I'm a mom of a 4 yr old who owns her own business which supports her family (sole breadwinner). Our immigration is predicated on our success as well. I have a husband who works in the business and is pretty much the primary caregiver of our son (who is also in kindy and in care one half-day a week). We made this risky big move because we saw the writing on the wall in the US: there was no way for me to start my business; my husband's company was systamatically letting people go and are now down to a skeleton crew; and it would be unlikely for us to maintain ourselves (get more work quickly, etc). So we sold up and moved to NZ and started a business.

                    Without this, we have nothing. See?

                    A lot of people are under stress. We just have to learn to manage it.

                    Also, I'm a lot happier living here and doing work that I love. I love running this business. So even though we earn about half what we did in the US and the cost of living is higher here, the quality of life is MUCH better. And I feel in control of my own destiny, which is awesome.

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                    • #25
                      Zoebird, I think you touched upon something very important there. Stress is much easier to handle when you can see the reason for it. If you're struggling to make a place in this world, it's easier for us to understand. If your boss keeps moving up deadlines and demanding increased output with no reward, then yeah, it's pretty difficult to deal with.

                      I know a lot of people that have a mountain of stress, but they know they're going through it to improve their lives in the long run, and they're able to handle it much better.

                      Doublehelix, I was a single mom when I got laid off the last time, 5 years ago. It's definitely tough on your own. Thankfully, I do have a safety net consisting of my mom (who can only help long distance) and a few trusted, close friends. That's key to handling stress as well. Now I also have an amazing boyfriend who is totally my rock, so things will be even easier when I get laid off this time around (sometime in the next 6 months).
                      Durp.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        I had a job that gave me more stress than I could handle. I really thought it was the career choice, not the job. So I quit and went for a very long walk hoping I would think of something else I could do. Well, I ended up in the same career but in a different sector. I'm at a university instead of a dot-com. It's so different and I am so happy. I also gave up striving. I embrace my mediocrity. I don't get hung up on performance evaluations anymore. Not that I ever get them anymore. My partner seethes in anger during every review cycle. I just see it as the silly game it is. I used to work at the same company as him and back then I didn't care about the little number they rated me at.

                        Long ago after I graduated college I didn't know what kind of job I could do. One of these job centers for low income people helped me get a job working with developmentally disabled adults. I really didn't want to do it. I told them in the interview I was afraid someone would drool on me. They hired me anyway. Turned out to be really fun. I started as a sub. My income was random but I alway said yes when they called. I ended up full time soon enough and eventually had a few promotions. You never know what might work out and sometimes you just have to start at the very rock bottom.
                        Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                          I embrace my mediocrity.
                          My brother has a saying: Life is so much better now that I no longer give a shit.

                          Sounds really horrible until you realize there's some truth to it.

                          At my work, we had a few guys that hauled ass to get their routes done super-human fast so they'd look like the model employees. The rest of us hustled, but we didn't literally run our routes, we just walked really fast. These guys never got promotions. All they got was more and more work added to the routes (so more and more stress added to their work days) and stuck in the same position with the rest of us waiting to get laid off.

                          I'm not saying you shouldn't try and do a good job. That's just having a good work ethic. But I do think there's this idea that, if we work our asses off doing stuff we hate, there will be some kind of reward at the end, and that's not always true. You have to find your reward in daily life.
                          Durp.

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Originally posted by Wrenwood View Post
                            Doublehelix, I know a bit about this from personal information - I'd like to help but can I ask some questions?

                            Have you had your cortisol levels tested? What test and what were the results?
                            Do you have any other endocrine disturbances like diabetes, high insulin, hypothyroid, etc.?
                            Do you take any supplements for it?

                            My own experience with high cortisol which eventually became low cortisol/adrenal insufficiency after some years of heavy stress was that it didn't stably improve until I started addressing both mind and body. Cortisol drives the perception of stress up AND the perception of stress drives cortisol up.

                            I haven't had them tested. I don't have any medical insurance so I can't have them tested.

                            What did they do for you to reduce the cortisol??

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                              Perhaps consider working outside of your field -- in one that might have some cross overs with what you already know how to do.

                              And yes, a lot of people have a lot of stress these days. It's not just the economy or social expectations. It's how we react to these things as well -- or anything.

                              I'm a mom of a 4 yr old who owns her own business which supports her family (sole breadwinner). Our immigration is predicated on our success as well. I have a husband who works in the business and is pretty much the primary caregiver of our son (who is also in kindy and in care one half-day a week). We made this risky big move because we saw the writing on the wall in the US: there was no way for me to start my business; my husband's company was systamatically letting people go and are now down to a skeleton crew; and it would be unlikely for us to maintain ourselves (get more work quickly, etc). So we sold up and moved to NZ and started a business.

                              Without this, we have nothing. See?

                              A lot of people are under stress. We just have to learn to manage it.

                              Also, I'm a lot happier living here and doing work that I love. I love running this business. So even though we earn about half what we did in the US and the cost of living is higher here, the quality of life is MUCH better. And I feel in control of my own destiny, which is awesome.
                              Oh yes, I have been looking for work outside of my field. But I have no skills outside of it. Employers aren't contacting me back. I have to find a job, and I am not getting results.
                              I am on my own, with no one to lean on...I don't have money to start a business. Most of the "dog-sitting" type businesses don't make enough to support oneself. I have looked into starting a business, and went to the Small Business Association and some other groups. I don't have a skill I can market...

                              I am glad things worked out for you. But it's not a one-size-fits all thing. I have no money to leave the US. Everything goes back to having the money to make things feasible. I am glad you are doing well and wish you more good fortune.

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                                I had a job that gave me more stress than I could handle. I really thought it was the career choice, not the job. So I quit and went for a very long walk hoping I would think of something else I could do. Well, I ended up in the same career but in a different sector. I'm at a university instead of a dot-com. It's so different and I am so happy. I also gave up striving. I embrace my mediocrity. I don't get hung up on performance evaluations anymore. Not that I ever get them anymore. My partner seethes in anger during every review cycle. I just see it as the silly game it is. I used to work at the same company as him and back then I didn't care about the little number they rated me at.

                                Long ago after I graduated college I didn't know what kind of job I could do. One of these job centers for low income people helped me get a job working with developmentally disabled adults. I really didn't want to do it. I told them in the interview I was afraid someone would drool on me. They hired me anyway. Turned out to be really fun. I started as a sub. My income was random but I alway said yes when they called. I ended up full time soon enough and eventually had a few promotions. You never know what might work out and sometimes you just have to start at the very rock bottom.

                                I've applied for anything, and yes, I'd be willing to do just that...I look at everything. But most of the jobs working with disabled want specific degrees. There aren't a lot of jobs that are just "come as you are" type of jobs. Maybe when they open up, someone knows of someone and they send their friends in.
                                I've been turned for jobs I know I could do. I've applied as an instructor, you name it.

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