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Giving up on husband

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  • Giving up on husband

    I am saddened that my husband just won't stick to primal living. He eats crap, his cholesterol levels are atrocious, he is looking old and frail, doesn't exercise. At this point I need to take care of myself and think about our children. I just can't spend more energy on someone who'd rather take stains than eliminate grains.

    Just a sad moment for me having to realize it - one I wanted to share with you.

  • #2
    Not your issue. He's an adult and he's going to make choices that he can live with. Get on with your own life, and your own eating beliefs. Since when did our partners have to be 'just like us?'
    ----------------------------------------
    F, 48, 5'10"
    Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
    Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

    Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

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    • #3
      Yes, but I dwell in possibilities of what could have been in 10, 20, 30 years from now... I know what's coming.

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      • #4
        You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. All you can do is lead by example and do what you can to keep the garbage food out of the house. I have the same problem with my dad; blood pressure meds, cholesterol meds and it is looking more and more like he will end up on insulin. As much as it pains me to see him killing himself, he is an adult and it is his decision to do as he pleases.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Karo View Post
          Yes, but I dwell in possibilities of what could have been in 10, 20, 30 years from now... I know what's coming.
          I'm so sorry to hear. It can't be easy, hang in there...

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          • #6
            My man isn't too interested either, but he is making changes, he can see by my moods and steady weight that it's helped me so much, he now uses less diary, has tried some almond meal alternatives to cakes, chooses sweet potato over white potato and eats less bread in general, he is also happy to eat the grain free dinner and lunch I provide him each day, it's just his snacking which is bad. I can accept he will never be primal, but I know he is making great changes which may mean a longer happier, life, that's a very good thing. As I see it even if he has taken on just a few "primal habits" I'm happy!

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            • #7
              Yea...that's a tough one. Just lead by example and hope he changes his mind. Good Luck!

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              • #8
                Grass is greener syndrome poor beta that is your husband he has my sympathy
                Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                Current Weight: 235 pounds
                Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                • #9
                  i don't think so, kenn.

                  I don't see anything there that says "grass is greener" or that she's looking elsewhere. Rather, she's just sad that he's not interested in taking care of his health *now* which would improve the quality of his life later. And thereby also the quality of her life later, too.

                  I think it's ok to be upset about that -- about the quality of life and mortality of your partner. It's normal even.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by HaroldStewar
                    I know what's coming
                    Winter?
                    In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

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                    • #11
                      That's rough. It has to be heart breaking to see someone you love lose his health, especially when it's preventable by something as simple as diet. Sorry, some people are just unwilling to change.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                        i don't think so, kenn.

                        I don't see anything there that says "grass is greener" or that she's looking elsewhere. Rather, she's just sad that he's not interested in taking care of his health *now* which would improve the quality of his life later. And thereby also the quality of her life later, too.

                        I think it's ok to be upset about that -- about the quality of life and mortality of your partner. It's normal even.
                        But there is also the matter of perspective. My wife is convinced that I'm hastening my death by being primal. I have to tell her to back off. Conversely, there is no point me telling her about her unhealthy ways because she won't hear it. In the end, one of us will watch the other decline. It's in the contract
                        Four years Primal with influences from Jaminet & Shanahan and a focus on being anti-inflammatory. Using Primal to treat CVD and prevent stents from blocking free of drugs.

                        Eat creatures nose-to-tail (animal, fowl, fish, crustacea, molluscs), a large variety of vegetables (raw, cooked and fermented, including safe starches), dairy (cheese & yoghurt), occasional fruit, cocoa, turmeric & red wine

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                        • #13
                          Yes, and I think that's what she was referring to. She's in the contract, she's aware of it.

                          And yes, it is a matter of perspective.

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                          • #14
                            *sigh*

                            As they say... Opposites attract!
                            "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

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                            • #15
                              I feel the same about my dear wife. she is 15 years younger than I, eats a terrible diet an"d is smart enough to cook up a life philosophy to " Justify" her life choices. She is terrified of me dieing and leaving her alone so she seems to be trying to hurt herself to prevent this from happening. I hate having to watch her do this but saying anything just makes her mad. She claims to be a moral vegetarian and hates meat but will eat it happily if I make it, hunh? Of course her diet is based on bagels, strawberries, lowfat yogurt, hummus and sugar in myriad forms. I love her but she is an idiot sometimes, I guess she just has to get sick enough to wake her up but it is like watching a frog slowly adjusting to get boiled.
                              Primal since April 2012 Male 6' 3" SW 345lbs CW 240lbs GW 220lbs and when I get there I am getting a utlikilt. This one http://www.utilikilts.com/company/pr...ilts/workmans/ actually.

                              Join me at www.paleoplanet.net, where all the cavemen hang out.

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