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Giving up on husband

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  • #31
    Also, if things are really awful, sometimes it makes sense to leave. I don't think that's what the OP is wanting, though. I see a woman who cares very much about her spouse and wants him to be healthy and with her for many years to come.
    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

    Owly's Journal

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    • #32
      Originally posted by Sabine View Post
      I saw it more as she can see the ill-health in store for him, and having to deal with that, not that she is thinking of divorce.
      I think what she sees ahead of her is becoming a nursemaid rather than a partner and having to wipe his ass and help him ambulate.
      Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
        I think what she sees ahead of her is becoming a nursemaid rather than a partner and having to wipe his ass and help him ambulate.
        Yup. Perfectly legitimate reason to worry; it happens every day.

        I'm really glad my wife and I are on the same page about health stuff. She has chronic health issues (mostly digestive and mostly stress-related it seems) but we're both working together to find solutions and she's willing to experiment whenever I find something I think might help her.
        Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

        My Primal Journal

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        • #34
          Originally posted by kenn View Post
          Please, the OP is thinking about divorce and breaking up her family in the long run
          Dude... all that baggage must be heavy.
          You might consider setting it down before you permanently damage your back or something...

          Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
          or perhaps the OP realizes that no matter how much she stresses out over her sickly husband, she has to stop worrying about him and his health since he doesn't want to change his dietary habits

          hmm? yeah?
          Yep. That sounds about right.
          “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
          ~Friedrich Nietzsche
          And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Uncephalized View Post
            I'm really glad my wife and I are on the same page about health stuff. She has chronic health issues (mostly digestive and mostly stress-related it seems) but we're both working together to find solutions and she's willing to experiment whenever I find something I think might help her.
            I wish this was my story. Unfortunately I can empathise with the OP. My wife tends to be a fundamentalist low-fat zealot, who is overweight, unhealthy and tired all the time.
            We're in our 50's and I intend to spend my life at the top of the worlds mountains and trekking through its beauty. Ironically its my wifes sister that shares this with me, while my wife is at home reading a book.
            "Continue being a man and you will be excellent. Pussy will rain from the sky. " - Legbiter
            Couldn't resist immortalizing this quote.

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Picaro View Post
              I wish this was my story. Unfortunately I can empathise with the OP. My wife tends to be a fundamentalist low-fat zealot, who is overweight, unhealthy and tired all the time.
              We're in our 50's and I intend to spend my life at the top of the worlds mountains and trekking through its beauty. Ironically its my wifes sister that shares this with me, while my wife is at home reading a book.
              Maybe you and I should swap. I want to spend my life at the top of the world's mountains and trekking through its beauty. And my old man is a low-fat zealot who cringes at the idea of steak but can't seem to put two-and-two together on the corn chips and ice cream.
              Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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              • #37
                Originally posted by quelsen View Post
                if we knew ahead of time what would happen do you think we would have chosen those partners?
                In my case, I would say yes.

                The reality is that we are going to loose our loved ones -- one way or another. So, it's a risk to love them (or anyone). And, the heartache is just part of the deal.

                If a person accepts that from the out-set, then it makes things a lot easier, IMO.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                  kenn

                  a wise man once said that if all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail

                  what i'm trying to say is, i think you have some tunnel vision going on
                  My thoughts, exactly, on that one.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                    Dude... all that baggage must be heavy.
                    You might consider setting it down before you permanently damage your back or something...



                    Yep. That sounds about right.
                    Ain't my baggage lass
                    Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                    Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                    Current Weight: 235 pounds
                    Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                    • #40
                      I see threads like this posted by men who are frustrated with their wives or girlfriends too. Concern for a partner's health and unhappiness with their poor choices is not a gender-specific issue.
                      “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                      Owly's Journal

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                      • #41
                        i think what makes it so frustrating is that you promised to love them for better or worse, and they're actively making it "worse" when it could be "better".

                        Other than kidney stones, my man is pretty healthy, but he's definitely not Primal. I could see him switching if he ever got a serious diagnosis though. He sees the logic, but he just doesn't want to change yet.
                        Durp.

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                        • #42
                          Clearly the guy is a lost cause, and you're unhaaappy? Go collect cash & prizes immideiately, you poor, poor thing.

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                          • #43
                            Karo I am sorry that someone decided to bang his hammer in judgement on you. I think many of us realize that what you are going through is very hard. And you do reach a point where you have to do what is best for you and your kids. I pray that he will see it and join you. Hang in there.
                            You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

                            Age 48
                            height 5'3
                            SW 215 lbs
                            CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
                            LW 172 lbs
                            GW 125ish lbs

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                            • #44
                              And one of the great things about primal is how quickly many people feel/get better when they make the switch. So, if he decides to change, you can have a healthier husband pronto!

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                              • #45
                                I have an extremely close friend who I have known now for oh...

                                15 years?

                                We're really close. But the guy weighs 250 lbs and is only 5'6". He's storing it all as belly fat too. It's hard to look at him now. He asked me the other day, about how I stay so skinny and healthy.

                                When I told him about the PB he was up in arms. He said low-carb was a "dangerous mania released on society that is slowly killing those individuals who buy into it." I was thinking that's a bit harsh. But he said to me, "I now realize you are not 'healthy' but are rather, slowly wasting away. You are killing yourself. I hope you're happy."

                                Yeah... Thanks "friend."

                                Although I don't think he actually believes I am killing myself by wasting away. He just doesn't want to accept that making these changes are extremely easy. He'd rather continue to complain about how hard it is and continue to have excuses to do nothing than to admit "it's easy," in which case, he'd have no more excuses.

                                I know how you feel. It's really sad to watch people do this to themselves.
                                "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

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