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  • #16
    My partner is the same. I've also given up on him, not that I was trying to convince him all that terribly much. But I've decided that I have to pay a "tax" to eat a steak, which is that I have to buy the steak and I have to buy something from Trader Joe's that he can eat so I can have a dang steak or a grass-fed lamb chop and not get the stink-eye. So frozen tamales for him, grass-fed beef for me.

    He actually said to me that he's the total opposite of me and can't eat this way. Well yes, he is the total opposite of me:
    * I feel young, he feels old
    * I am healthy, he is unhealthy
    * My chronic aches and pains are gone, he takes pills and applies ice packs every single day for chronic pain
    * I am happy and cheerful, he is depressive, moody and irritable
    * My mind feels clear and focused, he complains of brain fog
    * My health improves more and more, he has a cardiologist now
    * I usually sleep well, he cannot sleep without psychiatric medications and even then he says he can't sleep
    * My digestive system works great, he claims he has not had a normal bowel movement for as long as he can remember (it sounds like IBS to me)
    * My skin looks pretty good and I feel healthy, he complains every day of chest pain or back pain or digestive problems or upset stomach

    So, if I want what he has, I'll do what he does. If he ever finds a cure, maybe I'll change my ways. But I'm not betting on it.
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
      My partner is the same. I've also given up on him, not that I was trying to convince him all that terribly much. But I've decided that I have to pay a "tax" to eat a steak, which is that I have to buy the steak and I have to buy something from Trader Joe's that he can eat so I can have a dang steak or a grass-fed lamb chop and not get the stink-eye. So frozen tamales for him, grass-fed beef for me.

      He actually said to me that he's the total opposite of me and can't eat this way. Well yes, he is the total opposite of me:
      * I feel young, he feels old
      * I am healthy, he is unhealthy
      * My chronic aches and pains are gone, he takes pills and applies ice packs every single day for chronic pain
      * I am happy and cheerful, he is depressive, moody and irritable
      * My mind feels clear and focused, he complains of brain fog
      * My health improves more and more, he has a cardiologist now
      * I usually sleep well, he cannot sleep without psychiatric medications and even then he says he can't sleep
      * My digestive system works great, he claims he has not had a normal bowel movement for as long as he can remember (it sounds like IBS to me)
      * My skin looks pretty good and I feel healthy, he complains every day of chest pain or back pain or digestive problems or upset stomach

      So, if I want what he has, I'll do what he does. If he ever finds a cure, maybe I'll change my ways. But I'm not betting on it.
      sounds like he's pretty miserable to be around. and btw.. what kind of man chooses frozen tamales over grassfed meat? wtf?

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      • #18
        Many Dietitians cant get their partners to eat "healthy" either.

        Perhaps you feel you know whats right, your partner may not feel the same, or doesn't share the same discipline when it comes to nutrition.

        Like I often say to my wife...

        "dont try to change me baby"
        Last edited by BigJilm; 09-28-2012, 06:08 AM.
        I'll be back

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        • #19
          My father will be 70 in November. He had his first heart attack when he was 44 and has had 3 more since then as well as 2 strokes. He has insulin dependent Type II diabetes. His father died of a heart attack at 35 and his mother died of diabetes related complications in her early seventies. Sunday, for the second time in the last couple of months, my mother had to call the paramedics because his blood sugar bottomed out and he was delusional, did not recognize her, etc. He refuses to change anything. I am past sad. I am angry. My son is 25 and weighs somewhere between 250 and 300. He eats just like his grandfather and they both think it is funny. I know how hard it is to watch those you love slowly kill themselves. I am so very sorry.
          You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

          Age 48
          height 5'3
          SW 215 lbs
          CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
          LW 172 lbs
          GW 125ish lbs

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          • #20
            Kelmar... keep at it, you look hot.

            Karo, share this ^ with your partner...
            I'll be back

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            • #21
              Originally posted by Kelmar
              I am also dealing with the same thing....heart goes out to you! My husband has told me he is just "not that into me" anymore, because I have decided to live the way I want to live and be healthy....I don't like to sit around eating crap and watching TV all the time....I want to live...I guess it is what it is....
              wow. totally at a loss for words over that one

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              • #22
                Originally posted by Kelmar
                I am also dealing with the same thing....heart goes out to you! My husband has told me he is just "not that into me" anymore, because I have decided to live the way I want to live and be healthy....I don't like to sit around eating crap and watching TV all the time....I want to live...I guess it is what it is....
                Wow...I am so sorry. Sometimes you do everything right and it still hurts. Don't quit!
                You know all those things you wanted to do: You should go do them.

                Age 48
                height 5'3
                SW 215 lbs
                CW 180 lbs (whole foods/primal eating)
                LW 172 lbs
                GW 125ish lbs

                Comment


                • #23
                  if we knew ahead of time what would happen do you think we would have chosen those partners?
                  Optimum Health powered by Actualized Self-Knowledge.

                  Predator not Prey
                  Paleo Ketogenic Lifestyle

                  CW 315 | SW 506
                  Current Jeans 46 | Starting Jeans 66


                  Contact me: quelsen@gmail.com

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by Kelmar
                    I am also dealing with the same thing....heart goes out to you! My husband has told me he is just "not that into me" anymore, because I have decided to live the way I want to live and be healthy....I don't like to sit around eating crap and watching TV all the time....I want to live...I guess it is what it is....
                    Oh wow, that is so sad. I feel for you.

                    Originally posted by quelsen View Post
                    if we knew ahead of time what would happen do you think we would have chosen those partners?
                    I suppose with every partner there's a chance that one day they'll say "I'm not that into you anymore." But as for how they can decide to stay sick and unhappy, I think this morning I have decided to be grateful for that. He serves as a reminder to me of where I was and how far I've come and where I'm not going to end up.
                    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                    • #25
                      I look at it this way- none of us came quickly to the decision to change. And while now that we are changed, it's easy. (for some), but the changing wasn't easy.

                      I'm lucky- my husband will eat whatever I make him. But he has issues with alcohol. It's what will kill him. It's sad and the healthier I get, the more I stop caring and fall out of love with him. And watching him try and do anything to make me happy- except quit the drinking is sad. I can't judge him- he had to deal with my fat ass for YEARS as I was a sugar addict. But I find myself less willing to deal with him.

                      I don't know what to tell you, but its hard.

                      http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
                      Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by Kelmar
                        I am also dealing with the same thing....heart goes out to you! My husband has told me he is just "not that into me" anymore, because I have decided to live the way I want to live and be healthy....I don't like to sit around eating crap and watching TV all the time....I want to live...I guess it is what it is....
                        Been there, had that, kicked it to the curb! Second time around, I found someone who didn't want to change me and that I didn't need to change. You have to do the things that are gonna make you the best you want to be and if someone doesn't want to ride along it's just a lighter load for you.
                        Some people just need a sympathetic pat... On the head... With a hammer.

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                        • #27
                          Originally posted by kenn View Post
                          Grass is greener syndrome poor beta that is your husband he has my sympathy
                          kenn

                          a wise man once said that if all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail

                          what i'm trying to say is, i think you have some tunnel vision going on
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                            kenn

                            a wise man once said that if all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail

                            what i'm trying to say is, i think you have some tunnel vision going on
                            Please, the OP is thinking about divorce and breaking up her family in the long run
                            Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                            Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                            Current Weight: 235 pounds
                            Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by kenn View Post
                              Please, the OP is thinking about divorce and breaking up her family in the long run
                              or perhaps the OP realizes that no matter how much she stresses out over her sickly husband, she has to stop worrying about him and his health since he doesn't want to change his dietary habits

                              hmm? yeah?
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by kenn View Post
                                Please, the OP is thinking about divorce and breaking up her family in the long run
                                I saw it more as she can see the ill-health in store for him, and having to deal with that, not that she is thinking of divorce.

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