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  • Stubborn people and refusing to fix health problems

    Don't you just hate it when people ask you for advice, then berate you because your methods are "too extreme" and "unfair"? Long story short a younger sibling of mine has some serious gastrointestinal issues. I am talking about a teenager year old with gut problems worse than many 65 year olds, chronic gas, bloating, diarrhea, her villi and good bacteria are most likely completely gone(and this came from a doctor), their enzymes are screwy, its just bad.

    I had similar problems(though less extreme) but after a few months of a primal/GAPS/weston a price fusion diet my issues have subsided(enzymes, probiotics, bone broth and fermented foods added in as well as avoiding crappy food). My parents and sister were curious over what worked, after I told them they flipped out called it "too extreme and unfair". So they went to a doctor, and to their surprise, the doctor reccomended the same thing, less fried, processed, refined food, probiotics, enzymes and absolutely no fast food, the only difference is the doctor did not say anything about bone broth and reccommended some whole grains(unsoaked CW-style). Needless to say my father, mother and sister are all b*tching about how unfair this all is. She refuses to eat anything but french fries, chicken strips and cheese nachos because "she is picky" and when something else is suggested they all freak out with the same "not everyone is meant to be a thin stick" retaliation. They refuse to believe that diet plays a role in all this. To top it off they refuse to take any supplement or even CW-style medication on a regular basis, they will take it once then complain about it "not working", after being told it will take a month or two to see results.

    To top things off my other sibling who is around the same age is a high metabolism, mesomorph blessed with a cast iron stomach(you know the people that can sit on their asses,eat twinkies and still look like atheletes). My parents can only complain about how unfair it is that they can gorge on daily fast food and not have any problems, yet their other daughter is "confined" to a restrictive diet. The sick part is their condition has only worsened due to not following any advice, the monthly check in is coming up and the results are not going to please their doctor at all. I visited this past weekend and they spent a half hour asking what they should do and I told them I don't know what to do anymore. Needless to say this angered them and I was called "unhelpful" and "rude" and told "if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem". Don't you just hate it when people don't follow advice then blame you for the problem?

  • #2
    You could buy a copy of the GAPS book and give to them and just say, "It's explained in here."

    I think trying to explain things to people can get very difficult, especially if they're not inclined to take advice from you because of who you are (viz. a family-member).

    Give them the resource, and they'll either read it (and, let's hope, take it to heart) or they won't. But whatever happens you put the opportunity in their way, and it's better than getting into arguments.

    Comment


    • #3
      i lol'ed a bit about them complaining about your sister's "restricted" diet, since it sounds like she pretty much self-restricts, albeit with utter crap. funny too how eliminating grains seems so impossible to so many, when eating this way allows foods NOT permissible in so very many other ways of eating. foods like meat, butter, avocado, coconut milk, etc. can be part of everyday! without guilt! no "cheating"!

      if your truly improved health isn't sufficient testament what more can you do? give them books and links on the interwebs. you cannot make them change. families are such a pita, lol.

      you can only lead a horse to water, ya know?

      good luck.
      As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

      Ernest Hemingway

      Comment


      • #4
        People are addicted to the carbs.

        Funny, when my husband convinced me to do the FSND reboot (juicing) everyone we knew was supportive, "oh yeah, good idea, so healthy, I should do that again myself." But when we switched primal everyone was suddenly "what? oh no, I could never give up pasta! that's crazy!" It was almost a visceral reaction, like if we told them we were becoming cannibals. So, drinking nothing but kale juice for days on end is acceptable, but just cutting out grains is crazy? WTF?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by SarahW View Post
          So, drinking nothing but kale juice for days on end is acceptable ...
          What it would be is pretty inadvisable.

          Would it would mean is a rather large intake of a raw brassica, which is a goitrogen:

          Goitrogen - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

          The thing is that people know hardly anything, but they think they know it all. Practically speaking they're totally divorced from any real firsthand knowledge of where foods come from, how they should be sourced and prepared, and what effects they have. Instead they have a set of superstitions, and random beliefs that are the deposits of broken scientific theories about food and ideas that have been planted in their minds by advertising.

          Any hunter-gatherer would have an immense amount of practical knowledge of that sort. They know some type of insect should be given to pregnant women, that eating adrenal glands from a deer will ward off scurvy and so on.

          By comparison, the average person in a modern society, who people would imagine to be more sophisticated (and who probably is in some ways), has a head filled with rubbish when it comes to opinions about what to eat and drink.

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          • #6
            it is sad/a pain when dealing with situations like this (especially family). I do like the suggestion of just giving them that book, and if they want to read it, they will...and if they want to 'get it', they will.
            Their actions (eating crappy foods, not seeing that everything they put in their body plays a role in how they feel), their actions are that of an addict to some degree.
            There is no magic pill...it is a way of life...if they want it, they have to choose it.

            Comment


            • #7
              its disgusting to watch my mom and sister eat. they eat what scientist refer to as "the supermarket diet" the other night they had pasta and egg white for dinner. my mom constantly complains about her weight and yet she knows what she has to do. I got her to read a short book from Dr. Greg Ellis called "The Low Carb Diet and How to Do It Right" she didn't finish it. I suspect its because she doesn't want to count carbs and calories. she is trying to eat healthier now but she still junks all the time. everyday I have to watch her get fatter and fatter and basically kill herself. its really depressing
              Paleo since November 2011 - Carnivore since June 2012
              Before and after pics
              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread65846.html
              Primal Sucess Story
              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread65400.html
              Primal Journal
              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post955444

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by kiks View Post
                their actions are that of an addict to some degree.
                That's actually a valid response to someone's complaint "I can't give up pasta!"

                ..."Sounds like you have an addiction that you need to take care of."
                Female, age 51, 5' 9"
                SW - 183 (Jan 22, 2012), CW - 159, GW - healthy.

                Met my 2012 goals by losing 24 pounds.
                2013 goals are to get fit and strong!

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm going to have to say, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. My first husband was very very diabetic and never made any real effort to control it. Fifteen years later he has most of the 'wonderful' complications of diabetes in his early 40's. He is in the hospital about once a year and at the age of 38 came within a hairs breadth of having his leg amputated for infection caused by diabetes. I am a fifth generation diabetic myself and both the dietician and I educated him on proper diet and exercise which he promptly blew off. I work hard to keep my blood sugars under control although I definitely have room for improvement. It is a decision of whether I want to feel good or feel crappy. I grew up with a diabetic diet and other restrictions due to allergies. In our household there are allergies to corn, dairy, peppers, sunflower seeds and most tree nuts and sensitivities to wheat. We were eating somewhat primal before we even discovered it out of necessity. I am still diabetic simply because my genetics are hardwired that way.

                  Personally I would back off the subject of diet and wait for them to get tired of being sick and come to you for questions.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I've heard that people don't change until the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same. I guess that would also apply to diet/lifestyle too.

                    The problem though, as others have pointed out many times (this thread and others) food is more than just nourishment for the body. It's also the traditions of a dozen generations, the social connection of friends, the comfort on a stressful day, for many cultures, the expression of love. Not easy to say *no* to all of that~

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Lewis View Post
                      What it would be is pretty inadvisable.

                      Would it would mean is a rather large intake of a raw brassica, which is a goitrogen:
                      I may have exaggerated a bit. You also juice a lot of tomatoes, beets, cucumber, bell peppers, spinach, cabbage, onion, carrots, peas, and broccoli - in other words lots of nightshades and other goitrogen substances.

                      But - but, I think that teenage girl probably deserves a 2-week juice fast. That will show her what "deprivation" actually looks like. Plus, her intestines probably need a good long rest.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Juicing...gross!
                        Paleo since November 2011 - Carnivore since June 2012
                        Before and after pics
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread65846.html
                        Primal Sucess Story
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread65400.html
                        Primal Journal
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...tml#post955444

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I have a friend who commented that I look so healthy, I'm in good shape and would I tell him how I did it? Sure, I'm willing to help a friend out. He's VERY overweight anyway. Dangerously so, and it's all in the gut too, the most risky place to hold such extra weight.

                          So I told him I engage in light/moderate exercise a few times a week, I go on LONG walks regularly, and I eat a very low-carb/high fat diet. I was just getting to the primal blueprint and reducing inflammation when he interrupted me.

                          "I want to get healthy, not KILL myself man. What you're doing is actually slowly wasting to nothing. I get it now!" He went on to explain that low-carb diets are akin to a dangerous mania and a dangerous plague on society, destroying our health.

                          I said, "fine, discussion over. Don't ask me for advice EVER again."

                          If he can complement me one second and tell me I'm killing myself with a dangerous, psychological mania the next second, I don't want to be a part of THAT conversation.

                          I think it's less that he ACTUALLY thinks I'm killing myself, but he's threatened by how easy it actually is. People WANT it to be hard so that they can have an excuse for not doing anything about it. When they realize it's easy, they feel uncomfortable about the fact that they no longer have any excuse for inaction.
                          "The cling and a clang is the metal in my head when I walk. I hear a sort of, this tinging noise - cling clang. The cling clang. So many things happen while walking. The metal in my head clangs and clings as I walk - freaks my balance out. So the natural thought is just clogged up. Totally clogged up. So we need to unplug these dams, and make the the natural flow... It sort of freaks me out. We need to unplug the dams. You cannot stop the natural flow of thought with a cling and a clang..."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by SarahW View Post
                            I may have exaggerated a bit. You also juice a lot of tomatoes, beets, cucumber, bell peppers, spinach, cabbage, onion, carrots, peas, and broccoli - in other words lots of nightshades and other goitrogen substances.

                            But - but, I think that teenage girl probably deserves a 2-week juice fast. That will show her what "deprivation" actually looks like. Plus, her intestines probably need a good long rest.
                            as someone who dealt with disordered eating for decades, juice fasting like this is one of the WORST things you can do. it's a sugar fest. you juice the veggies and fruits, remove the fiber and drink the remaining sugars. it's an insulin merry-go-round. for somebody that lives on crap food, drinking kale and beet juice for 2 weeks is damaging -- not healthy, in any way.

                            i have no problem with actual fasting, and do it myself now -- wholly. but that's because my insulin is safely regulated by my everyday diet.
                            As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

                            Ernest Hemingway

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              My only question is how did you turn out to be proactive about your health and have a sense of accountability? Your family has some nerve in my opinion. I would just tell them you are done trying to help someone that refuses to help themselves. If they get mad they will either get over it and change or not. That is their choice, not yours.

                              Comment

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