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Am I a jerk or is the GF crazy?

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  • Am I a jerk or is the GF crazy?

    I hate text messaging. All it does is cause misunderstanding and *inhibit* communication. Also I suck at it. Unfortunately everyone my age loves it and so I am forced to cooperate.

    Here's an exchange from lunch today between me and the GF that I could use a separate perspective on; frankly I am questioning my
    own perceptions as I could be a complete sociopath with a skewed sense of reality.

    TFC's Squeeze:"Hey TFC know how I talked about having poor post workout recovery? Well for lunch I am eating sardines (fish oil) with spinach and
    avocado "

    TFC: "Amazing! Do you think cortisol could be a factor? I'm sending you a care package [of zinc, magnesium, anti cortisol supplements] from Amazon.com"

    (she's been under a lot of pressure/stress lately with work, friends and a 100 mile relay race she is running this weekend)

    TFC's Squeeze:""Thanks for suggesting I have high cortisol :-/"

    TFC: "It was a question goof /bonk!" :P

    TFC's Squeeze:""You're right I'm too stressed and suffer a multitude of physical sumptoms as a consequence. All of which are unattractive and debilitating in some way.
    Yes I likely have high cortisol. Thank you for pointing it out. Assumptions can be made from that question that hurt my feelings."

    TFC: Maintains radio silence so as not to break something again;. scratches mane and wonders what the cure for estrogen is.

    Since when is suggesting someone is stressed an insult?
    How do I respond? Clearly I have no idea what I am doing.
    And yes it's pathetic asking for help from the internet.
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  • #2
    She is crazy.

    Run. Run while you still can.

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    • #3
      Pms.
      In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

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      • #4
        I had to read this twice to understand your GF. Originally, I was like, yes GF is being a tad crazy but then I read her first sentence again. She was looking for your praise by eating what you suggest and instead you found another problem. ;-) I know that you only want to help her feel better but she just may need a little extra praise and love instead.

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        • #5
          Hard to infer tone and all that stuff, also girls are just crazy man.

          Is she good in bed? ultimately that's all that matters.
          I used to seriously post here, now I prefer to troll.

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          • #6
            What's crazy is text messaging.
            Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by jkr View Post
              She was looking for your praise by eating what you suggest and instead you found another problem. ;-)
              He gave her praise ("Amazing!") and suggested further help asking if cortisol might be an issue (this is offering support) and he then offered to help with this (more support). Her response "OMFG I am a horrible stress monster who sucks at life! Now you have hurt my feelings!"

              Yeah, run.

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              • #8
                Girls are awful. I'm glad I like dudes because if I had to deal with a female on a regular basis I'd go abso-fucking-lutely insane.

                Just back away and let her simmer down. She overreacted.
                >> Current Stats: 90% Primal / 143 lbs / ~25% BF
                >> Goal (by 1 Jan 2014): 90% Primal / 135-ish pounds / 20-22% BF

                >> Upcoming Fitness Feats: Tough Mudder, June 2013
                >> Check out my super-exciting journal by clicking these words.

                Weight does NOT equal health -- ditch the scale, don't be a slave to it!

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by jkr View Post
                  I had to read this twice to understand your GF. Originally, I was like, yes GF is being a tad crazy but then I read her first sentence again. She was looking for your praise by eating what you suggest and instead you found another problem. ;-) I know that you only want to help her feel better but she just may need a little extra praise and love instead.
                  Yes you are completely right. I have a built in drive to help, increase, aid, fix and improve. Girls never, or very rarely, want any of that when they have a problem that they voice. They just want to dish about it and have you listen. Men are from Mars women from Venus etc.
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                  • #10
                    Context matters. Do you frequently comment on her health? She may feel like you are overly critical of her choices and might have been wanting praise for her healthy choice rather than inferences about her cortisol.
                    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                    Owly's Journal

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by iniQuity View Post
                      Hard to infer tone and all that stuff, also girls are just crazy man.

                      Is she good in bed? ultimately that's all that matters.
                      Wow, I first read that as "girls are crazy men" and was all like "are you calling me a girl?". Then I realized that my first thought sounded all mood swingy and got depressed by how accurate that statement would've been.
                      In all of the universe there is only one person with your exact charateristics. Just like there is only one person with everybody else's characteristics. Effectively, your uniqueness makes you pretty average.

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                      • #12
                        Dude, 95% confident she got mad because she's stressed out, not because of anything you specifically did or didn't say.

                        But in general I find that it keeps grumpiness-prone women a lot happier if, instead of trying to fix whatever problem is "causing" their bad mood, you offer only sympathy and ask them if there is something you can do to help. As opposed to coming up with a solution on your own and offering it to them unsolicited.

                        For some reason it just seems to be a super-common female/male source of miscommunication, where women are looking for validation or emotional support and men instead try to solve a problem for them.

                        So if it were me (and I was thinking straight, which I often don't, with often-poor results), I would have written something like "Cool that lunch sounds really good! Anything I can do for you to help out?" and leave it at that.

                        Just my several cents' worth.

                        EDIT: LOL like 5 people responded more succinctly in the time it took me to write that. Too many wordz!
                        Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

                        My Primal Journal

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                          He gave her praise ("Amazing!") and suggested further help asking if cortisol might be an issue (this is offering support) and he then offered to help with this (more support). Her response "OMFG I am a horrible stress monster who sucks at life! Now you have hurt my feelings!"

                          Yeah, run.
                          I also needed to hear this perspective. Often in relationships I have no outside perspective and can lose sight of reality or what is normal. I agree with you Canio but I understand her reaction as well, though honestly I could have never predicted it.
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                          • #14
                            I agree with owly on this one.

                            It might also play into some of her specific insecurities. she might not feel good enough for you, and this process that you went down was a trigger for her.

                            Also, she's under stress, so her interpretive abilities may not be fab right now.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Owly View Post
                              Context matters. Do you frequently comment on her health? She may feel like you are overly critical of her choices and might have been wanting praise for her healthy choice rather than inferences about her cortisol.
                              She is super healthy, active, the strongest girl in my crossfit gym - gluten free and 80%+ Paleo, terrific, healthy cook. I constantly shower her with praise (which is frowned upon from the male perspective I just can't help it I am totally nutso for her). She does have this perception that I have a superiority complex though or that I expect everyone to be perfect. Frankly there's probably a lot that's true to that. So she no doubt was trying to help herself out with her own problem, offered it to me to show me and then felt hurt when I was like "Good job. But also it's just that you are bat shit crazy with cortisol. Here I am solving your problem for you since you can't".

                              I totally understand that.

                              Never would have happened without text messaging.

                              edit: and yeah she gets her period in the next week or so.
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