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  • #31
    Originally posted by TheFastCat View Post
    I responded with

    "I should have responded to what a drool-worthy cook you are instead of providing unsolicited "help". I realize why I hurt your feelings now. I am sorry I did."

    It's hard to text with razor sharp claws.
    You sir, are a much nicer guy than me. Bravo.

    Comment


    • #32
      and let us not forget that this window that we have been privvy to, in your daily relationship - is extremely small. Water may have already passed under the bridge this morning, or over it, maybe through it ??????
      Pick some daisies, kiss her on the lips (unless she has keto breath), and tell her you love her !!!!!!
      if this doesn't work - both of you grab a bow-n-arrow ....and take it outside !!!!!!!
      "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

      ...small steps....

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      • #33
        sounds like a good plan.

        Comment


        • #34
          The appropriate response is: "Wow, that's really great about your lunch. Is my dinner ready yet?"
          "The problem with quoting someone on the Internet is, you never know if it's legit" - Abraham Lincoln

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by zoebird View Post
            man, all caps still reads as 'yelling' to me.
            My intention was to differentiate my comments from the poster's comments.
            ----------------------------------------
            F, 48, 5'10"
            Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
            Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

            Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by TheFastCat View Post

              TFC: "Amazing! Do you think cortisol could be a factor?

              TFC's Squeeze:""Thanks for suggesting I have high cortisol :-/"

              ...All of which are unattractive

              My read on what she thinks, which could be wrong of course?



              She thinks - that you think - she is looking fat.

              Stress and cortisol = fat.
              Female, age 51, 5' 9"
              SW - 183 (Jan 22, 2012), CW - 159, GW - healthy.

              Met my 2012 goals by losing 24 pounds.
              2013 goals are to get fit and strong!

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by Knifegill View Post
                The trick is TIMING. She was NOT READY for more advice. All she wanted was a gold star at that moment. In man terms, wait at least half an hour after saying "Good job" before saying anything like "here's what else might be wrong". Men, we compartmentalize everything we're told to deal with later, in our heads in our own time. The woman feels the blow of each idea all at once, and cannot comprehend how you could do that to her. You can tell a man, "Yeah, this steak is done correctly this time, but your eggs suck." and he'll hear ,"Good job on steak. Check. Eggs need work. Check." but say that to a woman and she hears, "even though you did an acceptable job with the steak, I'm still not satisfied or happy with you because you failed at making these eggs. You are an abject failure at this and no matter how hard you try, it's not going to be good enough. You don't love me."
                Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                Quite frankly? My answer would be to call her with "I fucked up. How do I fix it?" But, I'm very open about that sort of thing, so YMMV.
                Outside of that: yes, it's possible hormones have her low and wanting praise. If that's the case, you delivered the hormonal maniac's equivalent of Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown and then kicking him in the nuts.
                It's also possible she wanted to hear she was doing good and got "slapped down" with "Yes, but no. Now fix this."
                It's also possible that there was no right answer except "Good lunch."
                I think (again, I tend to think more like a guy than a chick) she had a batshit crazy moment and you happened to catch the fallout. Give her time and play it calm. Chances are, she'll calm down, realize she made a nut of herself, and it'll pass without incident.
                Agreeing with both of these.

                I tend to think like a guy too, but I've had to deal with generic women enough that I kind of understand them now. She was trying to show you she had fixed the problem (pat on the head, please) and suggesting something else made her feel like what she did was not enough to fix the problem (kick in the nuts). Most women I know really do have a problem, like Knifegill said, with separating praise from constructive criticism. It just comes out "You still suck."

                Man, I'm seriously glad I'm hetero. I really could not be a lesbian and deal with chicks all the time.
                Durp.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by RitaRose View Post
                  Agreeing with both of these.

                  I tend to think like a guy too, but I've had to deal with generic women enough that I kind of understand them now. She was trying to show you she had fixed the problem (pat on the head, please) and suggesting something else made her feel like what she did was not enough to fix the problem (kick in the nuts). Most women I know really do have a problem, like Knifegill said, with separating praise from constructive criticism. It just comes out "You still suck."

                  Man, I'm seriously glad I'm hetero. I really could not be a lesbian and deal with chicks all the time.
                  LOL. Plus on the double-upside, NOT being hypersensitive to perceived criticism gives you a leg up on most women when it comes to getting along well with most men.
                  Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

                  My Primal Journal

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                  • #39
                    okay i have to ask, what female given advice was horrible?
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                      okay i have to ask, what female given advice was horrible?
                      Any that said to do anything but stop texting
                      Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                      Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                      Current Weight: 235 pounds
                      Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        1) Stop listening to women about women, most of them give horrible advice despite their intentions

                        2) You type too much when you text. Be shorter so you don't fall in these traps.

                        3) Think before you type, 2x if needed

                        4) Don't over analyze stuff, you will always be second guessing yourself.

                        5) Don't take her baits

                        6) Don't do long distance relationships

                        7) Don't admit to messing up and if you do, don't ask how to fix it unless you're in person with her, sometimes a mere holding of her will save you so much stress from the bs of her thinking she has to hand hold you.

                        8) Keep non in person communication to a minimum, you a male you are not suited for it

                        That is all


                        Originally posted by TheFastCat View Post
                        I responded with

                        "I should have responded to what a drool-worthy cook you are instead of providing unsolicited "help". I realize why I hurt your feelings now. I am sorry I did."

                        It's hard to text with razor sharp claws.
                        Dude, if you need to apologize for something like this, you're going down a bad road of being a sub, if you're a sub that's good but if you're not it will eat at you.
                        Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                        Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                        Current Weight: 235 pounds
                        Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          Originally posted by kenn View Post
                          Any that said to do anything but stop texting
                          you have a point *brofist*

                          Originally posted by kenn View Post
                          Dude, if you need to apologize for something like this, you're going down a bad road of being a sub, if you're a sub that's good but if you're not it will eat at you.
                          not necessarily, she's stressed and pmsing and that can make the best of women sensitive anger balls. if he were to stop texting or say 'okay you're angry i'll talk to you when you've had time to calm down' that would be like tossing gas on an emotional fire

                          i hate to break it to you, but sometimes you just gotta hug your woman and cave in to her terroristic emotional demands
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                            not necessarily, she's stressed and pmsing and that can make the best of women sensitive anger balls. if he were to stop texting or say 'okay you're angry i'll talk to you when you've had time to calm down' that would be like tossing gas on an emotional fire
                            There's a way to do that right and what was suggested was not the right way

                            i hate to break it to you, but sometimes you just gotta hug your woman and cave in to her terroristic emotional demands
                            More or less what I was getting in #7, hugging releases oxytocin and helps much more than words generally will at first. Obviously I'm being literal here.
                            Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                            Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                            Current Weight: 235 pounds
                            Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              who's a big ole teddy bear?
                              beautiful
                              yeah you are

                              Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                              lol

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                                who's a big ole teddy bear?
                                Watch your mouth!
                                Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                                Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                                Current Weight: 235 pounds
                                Goal Weight: 195 pounds

                                Comment

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