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  • Need encouragement

    This small member of the Paleo community needs some encouragement and help.
    I have a little bit of a different story. I'm a high performing athlete (triathlon) and have been trying for almost a year now to follow Paleo/Primal guidelines. Here's the problem. I'm still in Highschool, living under my parents roof. So thats why I've been only trying to go Paleo, becuase I haven't got very far. It doesn't help when Mom buys cookies, icecream, etc. By the time I get done with school and workout, I have zero willpower left. It's like I have a willpower quota, and at that point in the day it just wears out. It's also so ingrained to me that I eat what I'm served, and unfortunately last night that was pizza, a meal that occurs at least every other week. We have pasta often as well. I ask her to not buy those things, and print out recepies of things I'd like to try--and even cook sometimes. But then Dad complains about there being "no food in the house" and "am I on a diet or something?!" (as an aside, their both fairly healthy. Healthy weight range, exercise semi regularyly, and generally happy) But becuase of my parents food choices, my stomach hurts all the time. All. The. Time. I don't want to be blaming them. I mean, they work everyday so that I can eat, be clothed, go to school... I'm grateful for them. But I don't know how to change them so I can change me.
    So, yes, I'm digging for encouragement and help. But this is a community, and this member is falling.

  • #2
    When I was in high school my mom offered me a can of Coke and a snickers bar everyday after school She still does this with my kids when she sees them.

    It is one of the toughest things to change a habit and almost impossible to change people. That is the biggest lesson I have learned so far. Will power is up to you.

    Maybe you are 80% paleo through your high school years which is probably better than probably 80% of the world?

    Good luck!


    • #3
      If it is making you sick, have you told them that yet? I would imagine if you said "I'm not on a diet, but trying to figure out why I have a stomachache all the time", your dad might respond better. Also, do you have a job where you could buy some of your own food?


      • #4
        Yes, I agree -- have a talk with whichever parent is in charge of food prep and shopping in your home about your stomach problems, and that you are giving paleo/primal a try. You could even say that you want to do this for a specified time -- 2 weeks to 30 days, and then evaluate the results and you need their help. Don't criticize your parent's food choices -- just ask for help with your own food choices. And, speaking as a mom & wife who gets awfully tired of cooking every meal, if you would volunteer to cook a meal once a week or more, what mom would say no to that! When my kids were at home, if they wanted to make me boxed mac & cheese, I was thrilled! How much more impressed I would have been if they had seriously tried to cook something healthy! Good luck!

        See my journal, The Balancing Act: Integrating Primal into My Life, for menu plans, musings, and more.


        • #5
          Having very recently returned from a week with my parents, and all the bad food choices they had available, I can literally feel your pain. The food very literally made me sick by the end of the week.

          I would recommend offering to cook those recipies you want to try. If it is food that is not normally purchased by your parents, offer to exchange extra chores or something to help alleviate the cost.

          Just keep trying! It's SOOO worth it to feel better! Do the best you can with what is at hand.


          • #6
            Schedule a check up (or "well-child") visit with your primary care doctor, or better yet with an nurse practitioner if the doctor has one on staff. Discuss with your doctor/NP your concerns about your stomach aches. It might be that you get a sympathetic doctor who knows somthing about gluten intolerance. Maybe not...but it is worth a shot.

            Also, could you ask your parents to include more rice dishes instead of pasta. Or if your parents have pasta, ask if you can make a small dish of rice to eat your sauce with instead? If your parents have pizza, just eat the toppings and not the crust.

            If you have trouble with willpower when you get home, remember that you are a teenager and and are starving when you get home. Plan primal snacks you can eat before you get home or have them ready to go at home and just go right to them. Nuts are not much trouble to add to the grocery list and you can keep them in your backpack and eat on the way home. Apples would be fine for you after a workout. Try not to be starving when you get home.

            Good Luck!
            It's just another day in paradise
            As you stumble to your bed
            You'd give anything to silence
            Those voices ringing in your head
            You thought you could find happiness
            Just over that green hill
            You thought you would be satisfied
            But you never will-
            Learn to be still
            -The Eagles


            • #7
              You are so young I honestly don't think it's going to hurt you to eat pizza and pasta and ice cream. You'll be old enough to be on your own soon enough. Meanwhile, why don't you tell her you would like some bananas and almond butter, nuts and dried fruit or even some salad fixings for snacks or something like that? Or you could quit the high school sports and get a job. You could run to your job. I used to work with a guy who ran to his job. He not only ran to and from, but he also ran to do his rounds visiting the client's apartments around town.
              Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.


              • #8
                Originally posted by <archer> View Post
                ... my stomach hurts all the time. All. The. Time.
                This can probably do without my putting my oar in, too.

                However, as you say what you say in the first sentence quoted there, and then emphasize it again, it makes me uneasy and I'm going to.

                If you are being literal here, then, yes, that's not good.

                There's cause to think there may be something. I don't know that wheat is always and everywhere bad, but there seems reason to believe that breeding changes over the last 30 years or so -- yes, that recent! -- aimed at reducing the length of the stem of the plant and increasing the yield have had other less desirable effects.

                There's a lady right now on the "Meet and Greet" board who says that since going primal one of her legs, which was twice the size of the other, has gone down. That's not nothing. And Dr. William Davis has collected a large number of similar stories:

                Wheat Belly Blog | Lose the Wheat Lose the Weight

                The other thing is that many people's gut health these days may not be as good as it has been in the past, owing to several factors, the most important of which is probably antibiotic overuse. That might mean that foods that weren't necessarily a problem in past are increasingly becoming so.

                I don't honestly know how you tackle this. If only all doctors would test for wheat-intolerance on request -- and not just celiac, but a wider spectrum of tests. In a few years maybe.

                I think perhaps you just have to say to your parents that your stomach hurts when you eat such and such. You maybe have to go one step at a time and not mix it up with paleo/primal.

                I think there are solid reasons to go low-carb, although that's still controversial, and primal is a bit oriented that way (although not necessarily) too. But don't mix it up with that either. If it hurts when you eat wheat-based products then say so. As post #7 suggests if bananas give you no GI distress, then say you're happy to eat those. Say you're happy with corn tortillas, if those seem OK when you eat them.


                • #9
                  Right on cue. Today's post by Mark:

                  How Common is Gluten Sensitivity? | Mark&#039;s Daily Apple

                  Frankly, it's not surprising his is the most visited paleo site on the web and that he was voted the most trusted online source of information by low-carb people recently. He hits the nail on the head every time.


                  • #10
                    Yeah if your tummy is hurting a lot you need to tell your parents. Let them know that it is a direct symptom after the consumption of certain foods.

                    I disagree that eating such things in high school isn't damaging or that big a deal. Your teen years are where you develop habits for life. Don't become like so many of us (myself included) who grow into adulthood thinking that daily stomach pain after eating is normal and acceptable.

                    Tell your mom you love her cooking but you'd like to try her sauces over vegetables or rice. Tell her pizza makes your stomach ache. Tell her you want to eat rice or fruit.


                    • #11
                      You need to tell your parents you have persistent stomach aches! Why wouldn't you??


                      • #12
                        I really appreciate the suggestions. Communities are so important.
                        I agree that I need to tell my parents that my stomach hurts, but I don't want to sound like I'm whining and complaining. But, it will be brought up more seriously. Mom at least notices that I don't eat much becuase my stomach hurts. She gripes at me for eating nothing for breakfast or barely swallowing one egg. I'm sure there is some Gluten issues going on.
                        I cook sometimes, but not as often as I'd like. And I do have a job, I teach swim lessons, so I could be buying food. Good idea!


                        • #13
                          Here's the way to approach this:

                          At a non-meal time, sit down with your mom and tell her that you have noticed how your stomach feels after you eat certain foods. You might print out a copy of Mark's article and assert that you think it might be a gluten sensitivity, and as such, you'd like to try going gluten free for 30 days.

                          Assert that you are willing to purchase and cook your own foods, and that you'll keep track of it. Acknowledge that they work hard to provide for you -- food, cooking, education, clothing, etc -- and you don't want them to think that this means that they don't get to eat these things, just that you are not going to for a bit to see if it makes a difference.

                          usually, if you approach them in an adult-like way, they'll give you a shot at it.


                          • #14
                            Archer my situation is very similar and I too am grateful to my parents, which sometimes makes me feel bad for asking them to get certain stuff. Over time however, I've tried explained Primal to them and the easiest thing I get them to do is buy more fruits and vegetables and less packaged CW foods. They still buy their Doritos, ice cream, etc. and I don't eat beef everyday, but what I usually do at meals where we are together like dinner is this: Say we are having fried chicken (I'm from the south) I usually ask my mom not to bread my chicken, and stuff like rolls, corn on the cob I will not eat. I will occasionally eat some legumes however. But if the majority of or all of the sides to a meal are not Primal suitable, I will break out the carrot sticks or saute' some peppers and onions in some Primal fats (just one example.) One thing is encourage your parents to mostly do meals like this with a main item (usually some animal for protein) and whatever sides instead of casseroles where it's all thrown together. I think part of being Primal is adapting to the environment and making the best from what you have. Ask them to buy more potatoes, bananas, etc. for primal carbs. Eat eggs for breakfast (there's so many ways to eat them that it should be a while before they get old. For quick breakfasts I like to put eggs in blender with fruit. Offer to cook a meal every now and then. (just take it easy to start so they aren't completely thrown aback by something really fatty.) It is encouraging to me to hear of someone else who is Primal and in their teens like me. You are the first so far (though I've just joined the forums recently however) Btw what I usually do to make sure I have enough protein especially on workout days is buy whey protein powder. But still try to get the majority of protein from animals. and I'm not saying I never have to eat pizza and stuff, but keep a positive outlook and make the best of your situation. Please don't give it up!


                            • #15
                              And archer if its wheat/gluten intolerance, at the very least you could ask them to buy rice or something.