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  • Originally posted by NZ primal Gwamma View Post
    I have asked him why he is being so nasty to me, and he reckons that then it will be easier for me to move on when he is dead.....WTF????????? He is sooooooo jumping the gun, but it is really horrid seeing him getting so down.
    If it was me I'd reply with 'Buck up your ideas matey or I'll move on before you're dead.' But then I'm not known for my patience and compassion. Sending happy thoughts, deep breaths and counting to ten your way. xxx
    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

    Comment


    • Horrendously horrendous day ........ DH is so concerned that they will find cancer in the CT scan this afternoon that surgery wont do him any good.
      I have asked him why he is being so nasty to me, and he reckons that then it will be easier for me to move on when he is dead.....WTF?????????
      ugh. that is prob some wierd manipulation for you to say how you wont be able to go on without him or something like that. do they offer any form of councelling? just keep repeating to yourself how you do not deserve anyone being nasty to you regardless of their excuse. if anything he should be nicer and be making the most of the time he has left if he really believes he is a goner as he is incredibly lucky to have you!!!!

      It's a tough job but someone has to do it. Good on you Seas for stepping up.
      i really truly had to reschedule my hair appointment to go LOL i cant wait. bit of a bummer i have to pay attention and look after children. Not to mention normal children are nowhere near as feral and self reliant at these things as mine are so i am gonna need to pay alot of attention to make sure i dont lose any! i've been working on teaching the dog to run with me up the beach without running under me and tripping me up and without deciding he needs to body slam me at high speed like he does his best doggy friend when they play. we have almost got it so plan A is i will have to run the dog up the beach literally at 6am to wear him out. then leap in the truck and go jet boating and white water rafting for the day. then leap in the truck and hoon to the airport to get my middle child who will have been in wellington since the sunday and is coming home. i will most likely still be in my wet suit, be dripping water and have twigs in my hair and smudged makeup LOL

      Comment


      • Oh, G, he's scared and since men aren't really trained to cry and freak out the way we do, they become belligerent butt holes.

        As always, *hugs* to help you get through it.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • Wow, Gwamma, hubby has really done a mind job on himself. If this were my hubby, I would send his mommy (my MIL is actually very cool in situations like this), our reverend, the counselor at the hospital, his best friend (who is actually an oncologist), and his beer buddy his way, pretty much all at the same time, just to give me a break. Serious. Is there anyone who can run a little interference for you and deflect some of the verbal abuse?? Here is to a really positive outcome on the scan!
          I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

          Comment


          • Whoever said that women are the weaker sex obviously did not mean mentally. Men definitely take the cake at that. Can he get some sort of anxiety medication? If anyone needs it, he does. My bother is absolutely worthless under stress and we were dealing with my dad being sick, we used to joke about getting tranquilizer darts for him. Ok, we weren't joking but you should check on something for your husband.

            Big warm hugs and positive thoughts!

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            • Yeah, sounds like he's done a real job on himself!! And he's got plenty left over for you. Hope the CT scan comes out nice and clean, and you get a break. Kia kaha, Gwamma.
              Started Feb 18 2011

              Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

              Journalling here

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              • But then I'm not known for my patience and compassion
                me too!
                Oh, G, he's scared and since men aren't really trained to cry and freak out the way we do, they become belligerent butt holes
                people are people. i have known women and heard of women who have reacted in the same way. it is not a male/female based behaviour at all. good luck this avo G. I will check when i get home for good news!!!

                Comment


                • Sorry everything is so crappy at the moment Gwama. I was trying to find something silly to lighten things up, but in the meantime:



                  Or maybe this
                  Last edited by Misabi; 11-17-2013, 11:25 PM.
                  If you're interested in my (very) occasional updates on how I'm working out and what I'm eating click here.

                  Originally posted by tfarny
                  If you are new to the PB - please ignore ALL of this stuff, until you've read the book, or at least http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Misabi View Post
                    Or maybe this
                    Oi, Crabbcakes! Check out *these* jolly hockey sticks! *fans face*
                    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by NZ primal Gwamma View Post
                      We would surely have a honker of a thanks giving J - poor bloody bird...........
                      Saes if you let your hair down while boating up the river is gonna get sooooooooo tangled and then some............

                      Horrendously horrendous day ........ DH is so concerned that they will find cancer in the CT scan this afternoon that surgery wont do him any good.
                      I have asked him why he is being so nasty to me, and he reckons that then it will be easier for me to move on when he is dead.....WTF????????? He is sooooooo jumping the gun, but it is really horrid seeing him getting so down.
                      I will report back later. please dont think bad thoughts if i dont get back to you tonight, but only 3 hours sleep last night and i am rinsed.
                      Happy thoughts.....happy thoughts.....happy thoughts
                      G x
                      Thats a pretty normal response..... I know that before every long deployment I ever made the wife and I got into a huge argument. It to created some "distance" between us, and made leaving a little less painfull. I never claimed that it was a GOOD defense strategy, but it was effective.... It happened to alot of the guys I knew. Sorry it's such a rough
                      spot for ya..

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                        Oh, G, he's scared and since men aren't really trained to cry and freak out the way we do, they become belligerent butt holes.

                        As always, *hugs* to help you get through it.
                        heeeeey.... My butt hole is only beligerent when I'm constipated.....

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                          If it was me I'd reply with 'Buck up your ideas matey or I'll move on before you're dead.' But then I'm not known for my patience and compassion. Sending happy thoughts, deep breaths and counting to ten your way. xxx
                          Yous got more patience than me after making that quilt....

                          Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                          heeeeey.... My butt hole is only beligerent when I'm constipated.....
                          That's what Indian food was invented for....

                          Best wishes and hopes and stuff G, and hope the hubbers calmed down! And on a tangent thought your rugby boys were a bit jammy against us on Saturday, err....

                          Comment


                          • Holey guacamoly!!!!!! Gwamma has her own little cheer leading squad!!!!!! Thanx guys...... I especially loved the boyz Misabi...... I have always enjoyed seeing a nekid boy...... I mean man!!!!!!
                            On the meds front, DH has been on high anti- anxiety and high- antidepressants since before i knew him, as in 35 odd years. I don't think that it can get any higher, however i am gonna find out later this week.
                            I have had another sleep less, night, and i took a sleeping tablet, so i am concerned with my driving this morning. I am having a wee sugary coffee as i type. Had an earthquake also during the night which helped to elevate my cortisol or whatever it is that is causing me to gain weight not lose!!!!!
                            The CT scan went, well it just went. DH was in tears all the way home. Gwamma can now drive an automatic while holding her hubbys hand ...... ALL the way home, thats city, outskirts, country....... Shit i have some skills worth documenting !!!!!! Hahahahahahaha
                            So plan for today, is we head into thie nuclear medicine department at Chch hospital where DH is injected with radioactive dye, around the site of the melanoma on his chin. Over the following hour they check the tracking of the dye to nearby lymph nodes. I think its with a series of xrays?????? Then two hours later he has another series of xrays.
                            He is nil by mouth from 12 midday, then its back to another private hospital by 5 pm, to be operated on at 8 pm. I believe the op will take 1.5 hours, give or take.
                            I am also hoping that someone will tell us a wee bit about yesterdays CT scan. I think that iodine that was injected into the blood stream makes icky bits in the body stand out ??????? Not sure, but heres hoping that nothing significant was found. And if it was, we will deal with each scenario as it comes.
                            I am the fall guy, i will accept that for now, am not happy about it, but will allow it for a couple more days. Then its off to the GP so i can get some help. I think in an earlier thread i stated that i didn't sign up for this. However i am in the thick, and i really need some help.
                            Thank you all and as always xx
                            G
                            "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                            ...small steps....

                            Comment


                            • coffee with sugar fixes everything G xx dont accept being the fall guy or it will just get worse which ever way it goes. put your foot down while you have the upper hand. you may also feel better if you get some control which will help disappate the cortisol. if you feel hopelessly put upon and generally abused, it is not going to be good at all. bear in mind it took me 14 years to finally put down my foot so it is much easier to say after the event! if you can get away at all, see if you can go for a massage in the meantime. or go to the women's gym in town and pretend you want to join. they should give you a week's free membership and go pump iron, try out all the cardio machines, lay in the sauna and hang out in the massaging showers. drop by and get a facial on the way out at the beauty therapist there. and turn your cell phone off!!! good luck today xx

                              Comment


                              • Don't know if anyone else has mentioned this, or what DH's appetite for it would be, but I think he needs someone impartial to talk to, be it a counsellor, therapist, psychiatrist, priest etc.

                                Believe it or not but I'm not some airy fairy hippy, I've only ever been to one yoga class for instance , but I think there really is something to meditation for calming the mind and de-stressing. Nevermind the spiritual enlightenment stuff, if all it does is give him (and just as importantly you) a few moments of peace, it's worth a try. All the stress won't be helping his immune system either.

                                That being said, both could also be good for you to.
                                Last edited by Misabi; 11-18-2013, 02:31 PM.
                                If you're interested in my (very) occasional updates on how I'm working out and what I'm eating click here.

                                Originally posted by tfarny
                                If you are new to the PB - please ignore ALL of this stuff, until you've read the book, or at least http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/

                                Comment

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