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  • I didn't punctuate any of my "likes" in those sentences. LOL frustration!

    Overall, DH is a great guy, and in particular since his health as improved immensely. But sometimes he's just a bit annoying. Yesterday he got snapped at because he's avoiding work that he doesn't like to do because, in the end, he'll know that I'll do it because I want to avoid a specific catastrophe in terms of our holiday (having my ILs staying in our little house). So he's been waiting and waiting and waiting and procrastinating, and then I said "you need to email them, send them the link to the YHA so that they can make their reservation." And then he's asking the bone-head questions, decisions already made: which YHAs are they staying at? which days?

    Usually, this tactic of "learned helplessness" just causes me to step in and take over. But because this is HIS PARENTS' holiday, I told him that I'm not planning any of it. I already did more than I wanted to -- I booked the bach for part of our holiday -- and I had already told him so. I'd also helped him define the dates of travel vs being in wellington -- so when we would be where (which is how I booked the bach).

    So, I told him that he had to take care of it himself. He then gets into a defensive position and says that he "wants to do it together." And I tell him, no, because this is about me doing what he doesn't want to do, and I'd already told him that these are HIS parents and so HE has to do the leg work AND that I have already helped him beyond what I'd agreed to do several months ago. (there's a big history here between me and his parents, btw.)

    He did agree that I was right -- he was trying to pawn off his work onto me just because it is A. unpleasant for him, and B. he doesn't want to make any errors because errors -- even the smallest, and heck, even when you don't make an error -- come under extreme criticism and shaming. So, I get it. Which is why *I* am not doing any of the planning -- and we'd agreed to that months ago when he's parents attacked me over nothing.

    Anyway, yeah. LOL Overall, my husband is great. Good dad, does a lot of great work for our business too, takes good care of me, and is overall a very chipper and happy guy. And, he's primal and IF and lean as and cute and still looks very young, so . . . i'm lucky.

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    • k 3 tsp of ghee and it would prob be better black. so... gonna meditate on re-including cream in my coffee. my focus had been more to see what having the bulk of my protein coming from seafoods was like. having a decent cup of coffee has never made me fat and also it stops me from eating way more other things with more calories instead.

      love sylvia plath but i have never met a man who was into her.

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      • Lol yes Seaweed - coffee isn't the devil so stick to it! It think you'd be more likely to cake on the lard by adding ghee to ya cuppa! Well the idea of that makes me think that lol And yes coffee is a distraction from eating ! lol
        I know god that wheat this morning was bad - damn me ! Oh well I had a salad, yoghurt and fruit for lunch! I know fruit is hight in sugar - but its natural sugar so I don't think it counts!

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        • I don't do whole 30s any more - because of my gut issues I can't do dairy, wine, nuts or more than a tiny bit of fruit . So taking away dark chocolate and caffeine just seems mean!! I'll cheer you on, but I agree with Zoebird that it's probably more useful to choose one thing at a time. Otherwise you'll never know exactly what caused your new boost of energy/weight loss/lack of zits!

          I was making kombucha for a while, and loved it. I'm a fizzy-drink addict, constantly working on giving it up, but relapsing periodically *whispers* but yet again my stupid gut issues got in the way - I can't handle any probiotics or fermented foods. As soon as I get to the next stage in my healing, I'll be reintroducing it for sure! I made it with a mixture of black tea and rooibos - yummy!
          Started Feb 18 2011

          Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

          Journalling here

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          • OMG you have all been very busy chatting this morning ! I missed most of it - sorry. I have been up to my elbows, lambing this poor little ewe. Managed to find a front leg and head in utero, so was able to get them out, then DH had to try and bring shoulder through the canal. Very hard. Anyway she wouldn't have managed to lamb on her own, so I have at least saved the ewe. The lamb is breathing, but has a huge head, so am hoping that he isn't brain damaged.
            Anyway am now off to mow the lawns. It usually takes about 6 hours on the ride on, but we have sprayed out the clover (ewwwwww), so am doing first mow on really high. Hopefully I will whip round them as quick as !!!!!!!
            Be good
            "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

            ...small steps....

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            • one thing that freaked me out with kombucha is it starts growing anywhere where there is water and sugar. you can grow a mushroom from just the drink. you dont need the mother mushroom. i know someone who got it in all her home made pickles. plus, as i said, i am a caffeine addict so fizzy drinks hold zero appeal so i dont really want to drink it anyways. gonna concentrate on my own nefarious habits without adding anymore lol
              i think with the coffee and cream, if you give up something like that, along with everything else. you end up overeating as it is a dont weigh/eat what you want from this list type of food plan. i can have a cup of coffee and cream mid morning and a salad for lunch and be fine till dinner. i dont feel deprived, i dont feel hungry. but if i cant have coffee that i like, i end up snacking on nuts or something else potentially worse caloriewise.

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              • Wow, you guys are busy on here

                For anyone who's interested (and assuming that all stores have the same items on sale at the same time) Green & Blacks organic 85% chocolate was on sale in countdown yesterday, $2.99 per bar. Stocked up my treat cupboard, good and propper
                If you're interested in my (very) occasional updates on how I'm working out and what I'm eating click here.

                Originally posted by tfarny
                If you are new to the PB - please ignore ALL of this stuff, until you've read the book, or at least http://www.marksdailyapple.com/primal-blueprint-101/

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                • Originally posted by zoebird View Post
                  he doesn't want to make any errors because errors -- even the smallest, and heck, even when you don't make an error -- come under extreme criticism and shaming. So, I get it. Which is why *I* am not doing any of the planning -- and we'd agreed to that months ago when he's parents attacked me over nothing.
                  When this happens, it should TOTALLY be the blood relative making the call. Because parents will overlook issues with their kids that they will remember for a long time if it's the 'other' that has annoyed them.

                  The lamb is breathing, but has a huge head, so am hoping that he isn't brain damaged.
                  With sheep, how can you tell?

                  Just joking, hope the little fella is all right. Or even better, turns out to be a girl.
                  Disclaimer: I eat 'meat and vegetables' ala Primal, although I don't agree with the carb curve. I like Perfect Health Diet and WAPF Lactofermentation a lot.

                  Griff's cholesterol primer
                  5,000 Cal Fat <> 5,000 Cal Carbs
                  Winterbike: What I eat every day is what other people eat to treat themselves.
                  TQP: I find for me that nutrition is much more important than what I do in the gym.
                  bloodorchid is always right

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                  • Magicmerl, Little fella is doing really great. He is on his feet and suckling his Mum, and his head has reduced in size already !!!! So a really fantastic outcome !
                    Lawns are done - yay for another week. We are getting ready for a wedding in middle nov, so everything has to be perfect !!!!
                    Still an absolute heap to do thou !
                    I will certainly be into Countdown tomorrow Misabi. Thank you for that - and not for me....for my DH. At least he is eating quality chocolate !!!!
                    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                    ...small steps....

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                    • Green & Blacks organic 85% chocolate was on sale in countdown yesterday, $2.99 per bar. Stocked up my treat cupboard, good and propper
                      i have just started to whole 30 and you tell me this!!! i will check it out tomorrow if i am not stalking around the boonies with a large gun. actual countdown is open real late so i can go on the way home lol have just been to get cockles on an incoming tide that was a bit more incomed than i was expecting. i only got small ones and prob about 30. my youngest ate them all so i am not having seafood for breakfast tomorrow unless i defrost some whitebait or some paua.

                      How's your lamb doing now Gwamma? me and the dog had to assist with herding some sheep yesterday. you do have to wonder about the logic sometimes as i am always trying to make sure he is stock proof then the farmer himself asks us to herd sheep lol thankfully he wasnt interested and just stood by me looking decorative impersonating a furry barricade which was all he needed to do.

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                      • Originally posted by seaweed View Post
                        i think with the coffee and cream, if you give up something like that, along with everything else. you end up overeating as it is a dont weigh/eat what you want from this list type of food plan. i can have a cup of coffee and cream mid morning and a salad for lunch and be fine till dinner. i dont feel deprived, i dont feel hungry. but if i cant have coffee that i like, i end up snacking on nuts or something else potentially worse caloriewise.
                        I agree with you so much Seaweed, so maybe we don't give up the coffee, maybe....just maybe we go 30 days without playing "hide the sausage" ????
                        Nah couldn't do that - sos !!!!LOL
                        "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                        ...small steps....

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                        • lmao you are on form already and it's not even after dinner! what you really mean is 30 days without having sex with our pants on now dont you?! i am feeling quite stuffed with all that creamed coconut and am still thinking of food. bizarre. maybe we have some kind of part of our brain which needs to feel satisifed foodwise and coffee with cream does that for me.

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                          • Not too sure about the pants my girl ????
                            I tried to do the coconut cream thing for a wee while, but just couldn't go there. Nothing tastes as good as cream, however i am so not losing any more weight - so I am gonna have to knock this wine thing on the head - just for a wee bit....... so its 6.30 and I havn't even felt the urge
                            lets see how the rest of the night goes
                            "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                            ...small steps....

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                            • glad the lamb is ok. my friend is in vet school, so she's chuffed that she finished her obstetrics stuff, and she was psyched to help with lambs and cows.

                              ---

                              typically, we do handle our own families in terms of different things, and in terms of this, i opted to opt out.

                              The reality is that I really care about entertaining people. I work really hard to make sure that they'll be happy -- from intensive menu planning to finding the right housing to discovering special events that I know that they would love (in particular). I try to keep it to a strict budget, so that I can tell them exactly how much they need to set aside for holidays -- a sort of per diem.

                              I have done this in the past for them -- for holidays that I didn't even take -- and they either didn't follow those plans and then spent more money than they wanted, or they did follow the plans but had 10,000 complaints about those plans (it was too much walking, there wasn't enough walking, we don't really care for coffee shops, whatever).

                              I used to spend a lot of time and effort doing these things, only for it to be pitched. And then this year, there was some complaint (family drama) about something that I said on FB (it was completely innocent/neutral), and they were very aggressive about it all. And I had just barely started planning the holiday, and I was like "you know what? that's it. DH can plan this holiday.'

                              And I told him why, where I was coming from, etc, and a lot of people agreed with me that it was the right thing to do (including my aunt, who is a psychologist). DH agreed, then, and said he would take care of it. I told him he needed to take care of it by end of SEpt -- or we wouldn't fidn housing. I made sure we got the bach by then (because he was procrastinating), and finally put my foot down and told him he had to act NOW and get his parents sorted by FRiday. He took care of it today, we had our fuss on Tuesday over it.

                              There are things that I want to do, so we've been talking about what we want to do so that we can put those into the plans, and then from there he'll fill in the rest. I also organized it so that I could work through a whole week of their stay, which means I"ll see them less and have some peace. And DH's like "I want you to spend time with them!" well, you know what? feeling isn't mutual, and I don't think it needs to be. So, Itold him, he'll have time on his own with his parents without me.

                              he also asked me to 'entertain" one so that he could spend time with the other, but i told him NO. It is not happening that i'm hanging with his mother and my son by ourselves. It is NOT happening. PERIOD. END OF STORY. So, he has to suck it up.

                              end of the day, you just gotta make your boundaries.

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                              • 2 funny. the whole 30 peeps refer to all those paleo pizzas and paleo junk food as sex with your pants on. coconut cream yeah. it has its place but not in my coffee. maybe once a day first thing as the first cup always tastes the best and it can get away almost with being mediocre but then goes down hill very rapidly. school holidays are stressful so this prob isnt the time to give all my habits up. maybe try the wine and mineral water thing? i know lol you could drink coffee and cream instead!

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