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  • #61
    Originally posted by Silky View Post
    Wow that would serious upset me. I gained a fair bit of weight due to medication and my H has been nothing but supportive about it and tells me every day how pretty I am. I can see he is pleased that I am now losing, but there Is no pressure to do so. I'm not saying thee hasn't been gentle teasing ("there's just more of you to love", type of thing) but no pressure to change how I look.

    He wants you to lose on your this. Wow, what are you supposed to do? Cut it off with a knife?
    i don't know. I've always looked about how i do now (except when we met i was 118 lbs and now i'm 130ish, but i look slightly leaner now). i don't know how much fat is possible to lose off of my thighs while remaining healthy. If i get to the level of leanness that i prefer, and it's still not lean enough for him, that's just tough. i do wish that he was less opinionated about my body. lots of women would love to look the way i do after 3 kids. he's has dropped hints and given his opinion (usually after i asked, but still quite readily) many times over the years, so i've started to do the same. he could definitely gain a little muscle.

    sbhikes- i think you have lovely legs. the picture is a little misleading because your knees are darker than the rest of your skin (i'm the same way), and that gives the appearance of more curve. not that's there's anything wrong with more curve, just apparently it's not what your goal is.
    Last edited by Saoirse; 08-16-2012, 05:44 PM.
    my primal journal:
    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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    • #62
      Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
      i don't know. I've always looked about how i do now (except when we met i was 118 lbs and now i'm 130ish, but i look slightly leaner now). i don't know how much fat is possible to lose off of my thighs while remaining healthy. If i get to the level of leanness that i prefer, and it's still not lean enough for him, that's just tough. i do wish that he was less opinionated about my body. lots of women would love to look the way i do after 3 kids. he's has dropped hints and given his opinion (usually after i asked, but still quite readily) many times over the years, so i've started to do the same. he could definitely gain a little muscle.
      Your mistake is that you asked. His mistake is that he answered honestly. I think you're hot!

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      • #63
        Sorry about typos. Autocorrect hates me!

        130 and had 3 kids! Wow! I should be taking lessons from you on how you have done it.
        You look great in your profile pic. Hope you get to where you want to get to.
        My photo diary of my primal diet on wordpress

        My primal journal on MDA.

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        • #64
          lol, right on both accounts! thank you. it's honestly a good lesson for me, to learn how to disregard the opinions of others. *I* would like to look a little leaner, and have a little more muscle mass. he's not into muscles quite so much. *shrug* i'm finally getting into a place emotionally where i can define my own goals and hold firm instead of having an internal battle over whether or not i should acquiesce to his preferences.

          thanks silky. i'm also short- 5'4" so 130 isn't as little as it is on others. in my head, 115 is still where i think i *should* be, but honestly i think i'd have to sacrifice muscle to get to that point, so i need to give up that arbitrary number.
          my primal journal:
          http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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          • #65
            Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
            i'm finally getting into a place emotionally where i can define my own goals and hold firm instead of having an internal battle over whether or not i should acquiesce to his preferences.
            High five!
            My photo diary of my primal diet on wordpress

            My primal journal on MDA.

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            • #66
              Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
              lol, right on both accounts! thank you. it's honestly a good lesson for me, to learn how to disregard the opinions of others. *I* would like to look a little leaner, and have a little more muscle mass. he's not into muscles quite so much. *shrug* i'm finally getting into a place emotionally where i can define my own goals and hold firm instead of having an internal battle over whether or not i should acquiesce to his preferences.

              thanks silky. i'm also short- 5'4" so 130 isn't as little as it is on others. in my head, 115 is still where i think i *should* be, but honestly i think i'd have to sacrifice muscle to get to that point, so i need to give up that arbitrary number.
              You are beautiful! I can see from your profile pic that you are delicate, with an hourglass figure. I'm 5'3, 120- trust me-- plenty of men dig that shape, even if your hubby doesn't! Mine sure does!!

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              • #67
                Originally posted by SentWest View Post
                Just because someone has different asthetic ideals than you doesn't mean they have a mental problem.

                I personally prefer *very* thin men (I'm a female), that fall outside the ideal for most women, I also tend to think lithe looks better than muscular. Just me, doesn't mean I have unrealistic ideas about my own body.
                It's one thing to having different aesthetic ideals, I certainly have plenty. However, the quoted content made mass generalizations in regards to women with larger thighs, which was primarily a reflection of how the poster views herself and the limitations her self image seems to place upon her (can't sit a certain way, what?).

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                • #68
                  Originally posted by Rasputina View Post
                  You are beautiful! I can see from your profile pic that you are delicate, with an hourglass figure. I'm 5'3, 120- trust me-- plenty of men dig that shape, even if your hubby doesn't! Mine sure does!!
                  thanks Rasputina and Silky. I get my share of sideways glances and unabashed staring. I'm not sure what hubby's deal is. just different strokes i suppose.
                  my primal journal:
                  http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                  • #69
                    It's only a mistake to ask if you're not ready to face answers you might dislike
                    If he wants you thinner, that's ok. You don't have to indulge to every one of his wills
                    However I think you should use it to you advantage. You want him more muscular? Condition some weight loss for his work outs!
                    Everything is bad for something - How do you feel today?

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                    • #70
                      I want to be healthy, and live a looooong life (and not one where I deteriorate greatly in old age). Hell, I wanna be independent and looking after myself at 100!

                      BUT I also wanna LGN in the meantime. I don't think I have EVER had a great body. It wasn't too bad when I was younger, but it wasn't the body that appealed to ME. Yes, I have my own aesthetic preferences, and I really don't care about those of others (in other words, someone might think I look better with a little extra padding, but *I* don't, and it's how *I* feel that counts).

                      My aesthetic ideal for both men and women is lean and athletic looking. Obviously I like to see a few more muscles on men than women, but I prefer toned/athletic women with nice musculature than ones without. I also don't like flabby bits. At all. (At the moment I have some fine muscle hidden under LOTS of flabby bits).

                      I actually know my husband would prefer me to stay a bit "curvier" (not that I have a really curvy build anyway lol) because he seems to find bigger legs and tummy more attractive. I don't. I want flat abs and lean legs (no, they'll never be the skinny type with a gap between my thighs as I seem genetically programmed to have meaty, muscly thighs, dammit... but at the very least, I can pare down the FAT!).

                      Ultimately, I just want to look in the mirror and think I look great! And that's a fine goal. I don't want to do it by eating unhealthily, or starving or anything stupid. Obviously my health is my #1 priority in that regard. But I don't see why I can't have both the health and the great bod . I look forward to a summer where I can wear a bikini and not feel ashamed!

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                      • #71
                        Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                        How about my legs? I've got some pretty big ones.

                        What I'd like is a slimmer waist and smaller arms. But I don't believe for a second I'm going to get that.

                        I'm not that into weight loss anymore. I'm into eating strange animal bits. I'd rather eat delicious things that make other people squirm than have skinny legs. The only other way I'm gonna make people squirm I suppose is to crush their heads with my massive thighs.
                        That's what I also don't get, smaller arms? A lot of girls I know have these small forearms and when I touch them I feel like I could break them any second. I think those look great.
                        But about the waist. I personally like it when the sides "are pushed in" a little. Hard to explain. Not saying yours are ugly of course. And maybe it isn't even possible for females over 25 or something, but I don't know about those things.
                        well then

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                        • #72
                          Originally posted by Gilleh View Post
                          It's only a mistake to ask if you're not ready to face answers you might dislike
                          If he wants you thinner, that's ok. You don't have to indulge to every one of his wills
                          However I think you should use it to you advantage. You want him more muscular? Condition some weight loss for his work outs!
                          oh i've tried that. he does a few pushups and then quickly forgets about it. he's a busy guy, i don't blame him. in the end, i'm going to do what i want with my body and if weight lifting isn't his thing, i'm not going to push it on him.
                          Originally posted by Gadsie View Post
                          But about the waist. I personally like it when the sides "are pushed in" a little. Hard to explain. Not saying yours are ugly of course. And maybe it isn't even possible for females over 25 or something, but I don't know about those things.
                          i've been thinking about this; not specifically about your comment, but about small waists in general. there's a post on Nerd Fitness Rebellion about a woman who gained a bit of weight/strength and you can see her waist is a little bigger after the strength gain. some people say abs are made in the kitchen, and i can see their point wrt losing enough fat to actually see the abs, but i think you can increase your abs a little through working them out (maybe dead lifts and weighted squats), which would probably result in less of an hourglass figure. i don't know, it's just a thought that occurred to me.
                          my primal journal:
                          http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by SentWest View Post
                            My priorities are as follows:
                            1. Look hot
                            2. Be hard to kill
                            3. Not be frail when I'm 80
                            I like this philosophy.
                            I wish I liked to eat liver.

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                            • #74
                              Originally posted by Gadsie View Post
                              I personally like it when the sides "are pushed in" a little. Hard to explain. Not saying yours are ugly of course. And maybe it isn't even possible for females over 25 or something, but I don't know about those things.
                              I have the pushed in sides, but it comes at the cost of triplet-bearing hips and an odd jumpy transition between hips and thighs. I actually envy you, SB, your compact smoothness of curve/line between leg, hip and waist. Just goes to show - it's horses for courses and the grass is always greener. That said, husband has the same disproportionately large pelvis issue and on him it looks like he's got a coathanger hiding in his trousers. That sounded ruder than I intended...
                              It is hard when the person we love doesn't exactly match our physical attractiveness guidelines, but we're adults we should be able to overlook/forgive and forget those minor aesthetic quibbles (or have made the decision not to long before the getting hitched stage). Also, with men, the ageing process can lead to some unanticipated changes - men never warn you about the chances of thinning hair - just as often as with women (my stomach will never be the same now I've had a child).
                              There does have to be a certain degree of compassion in any long-term relationship, I think.
                              Last edited by badgergirl; 08-17-2012, 12:40 AM. Reason: suck at spelling
                              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                              • #75
                                Originally posted by Gadsie View Post
                                That's what I also don't get, smaller arms? A lot of girls I know have these small forearms and when I touch them I feel like I could break them any second. I think those look great.
                                But about the waist. I personally like it when the sides "are pushed in" a little. Hard to explain. Not saying yours are ugly of course. And maybe it isn't even possible for females over 25 or something, but I don't know about those things.
                                I think it's mostly genetic... some women just have more of a waist than others, some are much straighter up and down. There may be SOMETHING you can do (errm corsets anyone?? lol) and perhaps some exercise, but I think if you're more straight up and down that's the way you stay.

                                I'd like more of a waist myself, but I'm unlikely to get one so I just focus on the things I CAN change about myself!

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