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How do you deal with enablers?

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  • How do you deal with enablers?

    Ever since I became pregnant, I have zero willpower around my mother and husband. If I was secluded all day, then I'd be fine. But unfortunately I work with my mother, and of course, hubby is home in the evening. During the weekdays, hubby and I do fine at night, but the weekend is a field day. And vice versa for 2 out of 5 weekdays when I'm at work with my mother. I know it's not good for me or the baby, but I keep telling myself I've only gained 13lbs, so what's a little sugar? It's mostly sugar. I occasionally eat grains in fried foods but not all out bread, pasta, etc. What's a gal to do?

  • #2
    I don't know anything about pregnancy, I'm a 20 year old guy. But this is my opinion...

    First you need to explain these concerns to both your husband and mother. Ask them to help you and explain that it's important to the health of you and your child. There's no reason you should be working against them to stay healthy. If you have this discussion with them and they continue to "enable", you should be angry. Anger is a very powerful motivator.

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    • #3
      I understand your point of view, but I also feel like I need more self control. It's unfair of me to put the burden on them just cause I succumb to peer pressure so easily isn't it? They both know my goals already, but life happens I guess.

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      • #4
        hey, you're not avoiding natural sugar or starch during your pregnancy are you? or actually trying to lose weight? hope not!

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        • #5
          Over the years I have learned that it generally doesn't work to expect others to help you reach your goals (especially with eating). Really, I think the best thing you can do would be to politely decline the food you don't want to eat. Even if you need to make something up to get them off your back, do it! You could tell them that sugar is suddenly making your tummy hurt or something like that. Then, there's really no arguing about it, you just say "oh, i'd love to, and wish I could, but I don't want to feel sick". Or you could say that you really want to make sure your baby is healthy (although that will likely make them feel guilty for urging you to eat crap food, which could result in them acting out even more). But yeah, really, it boils down to you and how much you want to do this.

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          • #6
            Good luck. My mother is the worst enabler. She brings the kids doritos, candy, popcorn and ice cream sandwiches everytime she sees them. I try to explain to her how I want us all to eat healthier. She responds in a typical fashion that the kids need a snack every now and then.....uhg. I can't stop her. The best I can do is throw the food out when I see it and for me that means driving to throw it away. I have very little will power.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by palebluedots View Post
              Over the years I have learned that it generally doesn't work to expect others to help you reach your goals (especially with eating). Really, I think the best thing you can do would be to politely decline the food you don't want to eat. Even if you need to make something up to get them off your back, do it! You could tell them that sugar is suddenly making your tummy hurt or something like that. Then, there's really no arguing about it, you just say "oh, i'd love to, and wish I could, but I don't want to feel sick". Or you could say that you really want to make sure your baby is healthy (although that will likely make them feel guilty for urging you to eat crap food, which could result in them acting out even more). But yeah, really, it boils down to you and how much you want to do this.
              +1
              The Sedition of Sisyphus: Go Find Another Rock

              Griff's Cholesterol Primer

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              • #8
                No, I'm not avoiding natural sugar and starches although I generally don't want the starches. I eat a lot of fruit in my opinion, which is probably triggering the extra sugar attacks. I also don't have cravings for meat much anymore. It just doesn't taste as good as it did before I became preggers. I know it would help if it satisfied me like it used to.

                I think I just need to try harder and ignore their cries for junk food lol. Between getting exhausted with cooking during the weekdays, though, and needing a "pick me up" after lunches....I feel like I'm doomed!

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                • #9
                  Maybe you should check out some sites for women -- like Paleo for Women (google it) -- for advice while pregnant. My initial response is that you need more fat in your diet, and eat less fruit. But I'm not pregnant and don't ever intend to be. I would visit some other women's blogs who could give you some pointers -- you can do this, I've no doubt.
                  The Sedition of Sisyphus: Go Find Another Rock

                  Griff's Cholesterol Primer

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                  • #10
                    If my partner turned to me and said why don't you stop me, I'd have to ask him if that's what he really wants me to do, and if so I'd probably say okay then stop, and if he didn't stop I'd just laugh and say I guess you really don't want to stop, do you? If he really truly wanted to stop then he'd probably just stop and it wouldn't have much of anything to do with me and what I do.
                    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                    • #11
                      Yeah, it does sound like enabling may not be what's really going on here... from what you've said it sounds a lot more like lack of motivation. I agree with ciavyn that you might want to look for some sites that can offer specific support to preggers women who do primal. That might give you the motivation.

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                      • #12
                        This might help...graphically. This is the affect of high insulin on a fetus

                        Would I be putting a grain-feed cow on a fad diet if I took it out of the feedlot and put it on pasture eating the grass nature intended?

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                        • #13
                          I just can't understand eating something because of someone else. Nobody can put it in your mouth but you. When it comes to your health and well being you absolutely cannot rely on anyone but yourself. It takes discipline and a real desire to not be like everyone else. Most people simply do not have this. To be truly healthy in this world requires extraordinary resolve at first then it becomes your life. Most will fail. Will you??

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Goldensparrow View Post
                            It's unfair of me to put the burden on them just cause I succumb to peer pressure so easily isn't it?
                            It's unfair of you to put the burden on them just cause you succumb to peer pressure so easily.
                            Female, age 51, 5' 9"
                            SW - 183 (Jan 22, 2012), CW - 159, GW - healthy.

                            Met my 2012 goals by losing 24 pounds.
                            2013 goals are to get fit and strong!

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                            • #15
                              Avoid people who tempt you. If you were an alcoholic, no one would encourage you to hang out with people who drank or offered you wine or beer. There are trigger foods for some people even though they don't get the respect that alcohol addiction does. Sounds like your husband is on board and supportive which is wonderful.

                              Ask yourself why anyone would want to tempt a pregnant woman with unhealthy food. It's disgusting.
                              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                              B*tch-lite

                              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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