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  • How do you stay motivated when you are the only one...

    Staying motivated to live the PB when everyone around you lives otherwise?

    My husband is very athletic and health conscious, but holds a different philosophy. My friends are at varying levels of health, and my extended family already considers me a bit whacky (I've been an alternative medicine chick in a traditional medicine family for years now). My friends at the gym all want to be healthy, too, but we all do it differently. They also tend to be a lot younger than me (I'm 47), so they still seem to tolerate the SAD way of living without obvious ramifications.

    Today I am excited and happy and anticipating better things to come. I wish I had someone local to share with, and I know at some level the Internet community just can't replace face to face sharing. I went through this with my son's Autism interventions (I'm into biomedical treatments and not meds), and to have yet another interest isolated from others just doesn't sound fun.

    I suppose I just eat what I want, exercise how I want, and enjoy my friends and family, no? At some point it will be simply how I live and not something I need or want to talk about?

    Insights?
    sigpic
    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

  • #2
    I feel you. I'm lucky that my BFF is my confidante and we both follow this way of living. How about finding a meetup group near you on meetup.com or putting one together yourself? You might check with your local health food store and ask about others that eat the way you do -- would they be willing to do something to help you connect? Maybe challenge your SO to do this with you for a month, and see how he feels. I know it's tough when you are a lone light, but you CAN do it. I know it. Hang in there.
    The Sedition of Sisyphus: Go Find Another Rock

    Griff's Cholesterol Primer

    Comment


    • #3
      i don't know anybody who eats like i do in r/l. only on the interwebs. my friends thought it was weird enough when i gave up grains -- "impossible!!" they all crowed. yeah well, 3 years later and i still haven't been sick once. previously i would have thought THAT was impossible. my health has improved so dramatically, even with some hormonal issues this last year, that i know without doubt i can never go back to the SAD. and i tolerated a grain-heavy, high-carb, low-fat woe of eating for years. i never had a weight problem til my early 40s when all that crap just finally broke me.

      just do what you think is right for yourself and stay off the soapbox. like a mouthy reformed smoker, nutritional zealots can be a raging bore.
      As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

      Ernest Hemingway

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by ciavyn View Post
        Maybe challenge your SO to do this with you for a month, and see how he feels.
        even after witnessing these years of my improved health, my b/f will not give up his cheerios or white bread. or ghetto cheese and hfcs syrup-laden sausage from the supermarket. just. will. not.

        he eats all the good stuff i make, and is very happy to do so, but there are certain absolutes in his life, lol.
        As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

        Ernest Hemingway

        Comment


        • #5
          You might be less isolated than you think. I just came back from vacation. I went hiking with some friends. Three out of five of us just happened to be on some version of this diet. One lady was about 10 years older than me (I'm 47, also) and she knew all about paleo and the science and said she didn't eat sugar or flour mostly because other things taste better. She ate grains, but she also had coconut oil and olive oil and other paleo things in her backpack. The other man also wasn't eating any flour or sugar, but he did eat grains. His wife, who wasn't with us, got him started through something called FA, one of those anonymous 12-step things. We had a great time talking about all the health changes we've experienced. Turns out that while my friends were hiking in New Mexico they went into a bakery and the owner said HE was on the diet, too! He was thinking about changing his bakery into a healthier restaurant because of all the amazing health changes he'd experienced. I think this way of eating is spreading like wildfire and that if you look around, you may find others. But for now, you might have to just get your fix with us internet people. That's how I deal with it since I don't know any real life people in my own home town on this diet and my partner is cranky and upset about this diet (even though minus the farty oat bran and margarine, it's basically EXACTLY what his stupid cholesterol diet book wants him to eat. It sucks sometimes to live with a man who'd rather win an argument than actually stop and think for a minute.)
          Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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          • #6
            My motivation is I feel good. When I first started and people questioned me, I just said I was trying something new and being a human experiment. Now they don't bug me, but even ask I I want something different. As long as everyone is supportive of each other, I don't think we clash, except in method. For example. My hubby eats plenty of stuff, but always asks if "this" is good for me. We may not covert each other, but we are respectful.
            Julia
            Starting Weight 235 - Dec 1, 2010
            Started Primal Mid January 2011
            Current Weight 183
            Goal 160



            Get Outside Already!

            http://moderndayfitandfood.wordpress.com/
            http://moderndaydesigns.wordpress.com/

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            • #7
              Thanks, everyone. My husband is definitely respectful of my choices, and won't look down at what I do. For that I am grateful. He eats the meals I make and really does enjoy them. I think, like sbhikes points out, I am probably not isolated at all. There are ways to reach out there and discover groups or individuals to connect with on a level I won't with my current group. We have several health food stores/co-ops and I always have my fitness center ("boot camp")...

              I so appreciate the advice about not jumping on my soapbox (unless asked; I just can't resist sometimes!).

              I'd really love to start a monthly dinner group. I guess that is where my question originally came from as I got all whiney about not having a ready-made group of friends for my project.

              Thanks so much. I enjoy my internet fix with y'all. I feel less cranky about that whole thing.
              sigpic
              Age 48
              Start date: 7-5-12
              5'3"
              121lbs
              GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


              "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
              Henri Frederic Amiel

              Comment


              • #8
                You can totally do it! Love thyself. Your dietary choices should have just as much merit and importance as those around you

                Comment


                • #9
                  I've always wondered why the term *doctors orders* validated any dietary plan (no matter how unsupported), but *intolerant* wasn't justification enough to reject problem foods. The phrase 'No, thank you' should be explanation enough.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Hi there, it can be very isolating when something that is so huge in your life is so different to those around you. My husband is very supportive and we are in a very strange transition at the moment. I was vegetarian for 7 years and my husband for 18 years! I am eating meat every day now and no grains. He started eating lamb about 9 months ago and will have that for dinner a couple of times a week. He is nowhere near at the stage I am. Meal time is difficult! I do not crave what he is eating anymore which is a major relief. I believe that if I can show him how much stronger and healthier I am living/eating this way then hw will gradually come over to Primal with me. I also believe that this will be at least another 12 months away. While he is very supportive I only really have one other friend who is into alternative lifestyle and every time I see her she can't believe how fantastic I am looking and the changes she seeing in me.

                    Have you read GAPS for your child?
                    "You can either spend your time & money on being sick, or you can spend your time & money on being healthy"

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ethereal, if your 18 yr vegetarian husband now eats lamb, I think he's going to join you 'primally' eventually.

                      I have read about GAPS, but have never tried it. My son has been gluten/casein free, and is now gluten free about 80/20. I need to get all 3 of my kids away from the SAD. He has made tons of progress over the years, but unfortunately for me that means I have diminished ability to control his eating when he is away from home (he's 11). Amazing what power crappy food has over us! He is a sneaky little bugger.

                      One of the biggest benefits to feeling better is that I have the energy to tackle Autism again. We have about 12 more months with chelation (heavy metal detox) and I will work on the gut with him during that time. What a marathon this has been! He went from a nonverbal toddler to a fully mainstreamed middle schooler but it hasn't been easy. I'm a proud mama.

                      Thanks for the recommendation. I need to take another look at GAPS.
                      sigpic
                      Age 48
                      Start date: 7-5-12
                      5'3"
                      121lbs
                      GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


                      "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                      Henri Frederic Amiel

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I understand. I only have one friend who is primal and she isn't very dedicated to it, that and she lives far away, so I rarely see her. I have made one friend on here who I email with, but like you said it is not the same as having someone I your day to day life that feels the way you do. I also believe in a more preventative holistic approach to medicine which is VERY hard to come by where I live. I just do what I feel is right and if anyone asks me about it I tell them, otherwise I keep it to myself. Live and let live is my philosophy. They are sure their way is right, as am I. None of us are infallible, so what's the point in arguing. Just go with what you think is right!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                          That's how I deal with it since I don't know any real life people in my own home town on this diet and my partner is cranky and upset about this diet (even though minus the farty oat bran and margarine, it's basically EXACTLY what his stupid cholesterol diet book wants him to eat. It sucks sometimes to live with a man who'd rather win an argument than actually stop and think for a minute.)
                          Hey sbhikes - how is it that you and Paleobird aren't occasionally hiking and eating together?? Aren't both of you from Santa Barbara??
                          I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by PHaselow View Post
                            I have read about GAPS, but have never tried it. My son has been gluten/casein free, and is now gluten free about 80/20. I need to get all 3 of my kids away from the SAD. He has made tons of progress over the years, but unfortunately for me that means I have diminished ability to control his eating when he is away from home (he's 11). Amazing what power crappy food has over us! He is a sneaky little bugger.

                            One of the biggest benefits to feeling better is that I have the energy to tackle Autism again. We have about 12 more months with chelation (heavy metal detox) and I will work on the gut with him during that time. What a marathon this has been! He went from a nonverbal toddler to a fully mainstreamed middle schooler but it hasn't been easy. I'm a proud mama.

                            Thanks for the recommendation. I need to take another look at GAPS.
                            Hello PHaselow! YOU SHOULD BE A PROUD MAMA - CONGRATULATIONS!!

                            I have a special-needs daughter (not autism, tho) who has been on the SCD for 6 years now. (The Specific Carbohydrate Diet) I plan on investigating GAPS soon, but I think you should also get the info/book for the SCD as well, as the GAPS builds on the SCD.

                            I jumped into Primal, then found Paleo / Weston Price / etc. info, and the info on all of them is invaluable, as I am one of those information junkies who just likes to have the global picture - I think it will be of benefit to you to know both the SCD and the GAPS to be able to make the most informed specific diet decisions concerning your son.

                            I hear you on the energy thing - Third (my third daughter, the special-needs one) is eleven as well, and I was running out of steam after 9 years of nothing but read-read-read, therapy-therapy-therapy, doc-doc-doc, manage home life-manage home life-manage home life, go-go-go... you know how it is. The more Primal I get, the better I get. I am looking forward to running circles around the kids very, very soon!

                            One very, very specific improvement with Third: as I have been Primal, and I am the chief cook and bottle washer in this house, the troops eat what I cook. (It also helps that I have an SCD kid, as the SCD is ridiculously close to Primal, so that is two of us. And I have Second, who is a meat-lovin', heavy-eatin' celiac with a dairy allergy - therefore also very amenable to Primal, and that makes three of us.) Anyway - when I changed the fatty acid profile of my kitchen and threw out the seed oils, you wouldn't believe the jump in verbal ability of Third!! I sometimes supplement her with high doses of Carlson's Super DHA because I am trying the recommendations in "The LCP Solution" (which work for Third, BTW), and I was starting to despair that she would need expensive supplementation for the rest of her life, but that a simple dietary change would do essentially the same - stunning.

                            Keep on writing us... it is how I get my crazies out, and don't feel as lonely, as well. If you are in eastern OH/western PA/ northern WV, maybe we could meet someday!
                            I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Oh, Crabcakes... I so wish you lived in WI!

                              I am a huge fan of Nordic Naturals EFAs. My 11 yr old was a super responder to Omega 3s when he was about 4. Literally jumped started his language. Can't explain it to anyone, but I witnessed it. I use EPA to keep off of anti-depressants.

                              That leads me to another thread I need to explore: cholesterol and depression. My cholesterol was always super low (total): 103 at its lowest. Now, at about 150 mg/dL, I am off of meds. I did it mainly with high dose EPAs and determination. I feel better off meds than I ever felt on them.
                              sigpic
                              Age 48
                              Start date: 7-5-12
                              5'3"
                              121lbs
                              GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


                              "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                              Henri Frederic Amiel

                              Comment

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