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  • #16
    My wife supports me in that I am the cook and grocery shopper. She has no choice.
    She doesnt support my new active lifestyle at all and seems to be jealous of my now fit body.
    On the 4th after I rode in a horse back riding lesson, I went mountain biking then swimming. Me and one of my buds were fucking around teasing each other and my wife says "don't even think of doing an Ironwoman" WTF!

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    • #17
      Always look for the most simple eay to solve problems. For this particular problem...
      - Eat a bigger breakfast and lunch, so you don't have to eat dinner with her.
      - As for desserts, if you have trouble saying no, suggest a paleo dessert like whipped cream and fresh stawberries (slice strawberries then shake them in a tuppware with a pinch of sugar, which makes a stawberry sauce). It only takes 5 minutes to make and its healthy. She can eat that on top of a moist brownie if she likes... you can also make coconut banana cream pie... lots of healthy paleo desserts out there that won't stall your progress, and that will make your wife's sweet tooth happy.
      Last edited by abstractpersona; 07-09-2012, 10:42 AM.
      My smartphone makes me about $100 per month
      Updating my journal again after a 2 year break.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by RitaRose View Post
        I think there needs to be a line drawn between participating and interfering. I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years, and the last year was Primal. Though he doesn't eat that way himself, he doesn't bitch about dinner not having any biscuits or pasta or anything. On the other hand, if he wanted some, I don't really care.

        You don't usually have to make completely separate dinners unless she insists on fettucine alfredo every night, and then she can make it herself. We eat things like burger patties (he has it with a bun, I don't) or broccoli beef (sauces on the side, no rice for me), steak (which just is what it is) or chicken breasts with some different seasonings and veggies on the side (no biscuit or anything for me). It's not all that hard.

        It's really easy to say you're eating crap because your partner is. I've done it myself. But it's really your own damn fault.
        Well spoken, well said!
        Free your mind, and your Grok will follow!

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        • #19
          Dinner is the only meal that hubby and I eat together. I'm primal, he's a carb-o-holic. (We might eat lunch together, but we each prepare what we want.)

          Dinner is almost always grilled meat or fish, which hubby makes. While he's grilling, I make salad and/or veg; occasionally I'll bake sweet potatoes. If he wants anything extra, he helps himself (although he usually doesn't). Then a little later in the evening he's getting his carbs with ice cream, chips, etc.

          He is slowly coming around to primal. We were in a situation the other day where the least offensive place to eat was Subway. I got my sub, ate the innards, and threw away the bread. He ate only half of the bread. He's the knd of guy that I can't nag; he's stubborn and will dig in his heels. I just tell him why I eat like I do (with references to the research that backs it up), and let him make his own choices.

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          • #20
            I have a very similar problem with my husband. He works out of town 20 days a month so is only home for 10. I make sure his food (ramen noodles, frozen pizza and popcorn) are in the house when he is home but keep the house clean of those things when he is gone. It is quit hard when he is here to stick to the diet because if I make Ribs he wants ramen (this actually happend last valentines day). I couldn't imagine having to do this every day. I would suggest making more of the meals.

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            • #21
              I'm still stuck on the part where the OP said he felt obligated to eat desert with his spouse?! What? Nobody is obligated to eat anything for any reason!! Ever!!!

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              • #22
                It's not hard.. It's hard if you think it's hard. My husband eats 'normally' but eats everything that I cook. Therefore, he is eating Primal at every meal. The difference is that he eats cereal for breakfast and I do not. He is not terribly supportive but doesn't interfere. He eats bread at meals and I don't. It's no big deal if you don't make 'everything about you.'. Just cook Paleo, and add some bread/dessert for him. We don't snack so that's no big deal. My husband likes pie so I but it for him, but don't eat it myself. Don't make this complicated....there's room in the plan for everyone.
                ----------------------------------------
                F, 48, 5'10"
                Start Date: 25-06-12 @ 161lbs
                Goal Reached: 30-09-12 @ 143lb. Now bouncing between 145lb - 149lb. I'd like less bounce and more consistency :-)

                Started Cross Fit 20.12.12 ---- Can't wait to submit my success story on the 1st anniversary of starting primal.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by Louisa655 View Post
                  It's not hard.. It's hard if you think it's hard. My husband eats 'normally' but eats everything that I cook. Therefore, he is eating Primal at every meal. The difference is that he eats cereal for breakfast and I do not. He is not terribly supportive but doesn't interfere. He eats bread at meals and I don't. It's no big deal if you don't make 'everything about you.'. Just cook Paleo, and add some bread/dessert for him. We don't snack so that's no big deal. My husband likes pie so I but it for him, but don't eat it myself. Don't make this complicated....there's room in the plan for everyone.
                  That's pretty much how we do it. I work an early shift, so I make the vast majority of dinners while he does the vast majority (okay, all) of the cleaning. He eats whatever I make, but still sticks to a sandwich for lunch. He has recently started eating eggs for breakfast because he said he stays full longer than when he eats cereal. Baby steps, I guess.

                  But either way, it's not like we're eating weird food or anything, and the side dishes are usually things like rice, pasta and rolls that cook up really fast. You can even get a bag full of individual frozen bicuits and just cook up a couple at a time for them.

                  The more they see how simple this is (and effective), the more likely they'll be to jump on the bandwagon. If it looks like a pain in the ass, it's never going to happen.
                  Durp.

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                  • #24
                    I appreciate all the responses. I'm going to keep trying to find the right balance. Today was a good day. I just need to plan out the week a little better I think.

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                    • #25
                      My husband isn't supportive at all. He thinks it is very unhealthy. His breakfast consisted of 3 slices of toast, honey smacks cereal with extra sugar on top and 2 peppermint patties. It is quite maddening to watch. Especially since he had a heart attack last year at the age of 45.

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                      • #26
                        What everyone's saying about it being pretty simple if you're the one who's cooking is true.
                        For when she was the fettucini alfredo (someone used that as an example), I don't really think it's fair to say that you're the one whose eating habits have changed and therefore you need to feel guilty about asking her to make something separate for you. Sometimes people just aren't in the mood for the same type of food for dinner. Generally, people compromise. If she wants pasta and homemade meatballs, ask her to forgo the breadcrumbs in the meatballs and make sure the sauce is ok. If she wants fettucini alfredo ask her to eat it for lunch.

                        I also don't think it's fair to assume she'll cook all your meals for you. I know it's a traditional thing to do and I don't mind cooking for my boyfriend, and he hasn't noticed/complained that dinner hasn't included breads (he only complains when I refuse to buy something at the grocery store because I'll want it and won't be able to eat it), but not only will it be easier for you, it'll also be nice to her if you volunteer to do some of the cooking - you can be sure it'll meet your standards and you won't have to bug her to constantly comply. As someone mentioned, crock pot dishes that you can freeze are easy and have the added benefit of covering more than one meal.

                        I have a kind-of-mean trick for grocery shopping and assuring your dinners will comply without so much nagging. I don't know if this works for everyone, but this is how I shop, so it would at least work on me: start in the meat section. Get your pricy meat. Then go to veggies. While picking out your veggies, explain you want to make a stew this week, or something else that will last several meals. Be excited about dinner being set for a few days. By this point you've spent a good chunk of what you intended to spend on groceries. If she likes drinks, go there next. That'll lower the budget more. Do the things that are least compliant with your diet last - she'll be doing the math in her head and decide that you've spent enough money and gotten enough food, and that alfredo sauce is delicious but it's also kinda unhealthy so she'll figure she'll just skip it. Maybe she'll get sandwich bread but she'll skip the par-baked dinner roles and starchy sides (I assume you've already picked up sweet potatoes... she'll probably figure that covers your requisite side-starch).

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