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I'm embarrassed by how much I eat compared to my boyfriend

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  • I'm embarrassed by how much I eat compared to my boyfriend

    My boyfriend is 6 inches taller than me and about 10-15lbs heavier than me. He has a small bone structure. I have a fairly large one. His arms and legs are normal but he's got a bit of abdominal fat. His exercise is walking and hiking. Mine is hiking, biking, calisthenics and sprinting. I'm in a normal weight range, but you can't call me skinny. He's not on the paleo or primal diet. He believes in CW low-fat as the one true path to health. That doesn't bother me too much since we can make it work.

    Sometimes I think he is annoyed or astonished by the quantity of food I eat. And I'm embarrassed that I need so much compared him, and embarrassed because he notices. Is anyone else in the same position?
    Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

  • #2
    YES. I eat as much as my boyfriend when we have meals together, and I actually eat even more when he's not around. We probably clock in around the same amount of calories every day when we're both cutting, and he's over 6 feet and almost 200lbs with almost single digit body fat, whereas I'm 5'4" and 150lbs with about 25% bf.

    Granted, he does lose fat faster than I do, but his eating habits kind of suck because he can't last longer than 6 hours without eating.
    My chocolatey Primal journey

    Unusual food recipes (plus chocolate) blog

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    • #3
      It's much easier as a male to turn how much you eat into a contest or a bragging right, so no, can't say I've ever really felt that way.
      Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

      My Primal Journal

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      • #4
        I don't eat more than my husband, but I find that it is far too easy to be beset by negative thoughts when you are eating. Too much, too little, wrong smell, not to specs, wrong color, wrong time, why do I need another bite, is it Okay to eat different food than everyone else... one and on.

        So, I am trying to let go of any judgmental emotions connected to what I eat. My in-laws are staying right now, and I felt really bad with my mother in law endlessly repeating how they do not eat much meat any more (right between her husband reaching for the third helping of meatzza and her complaining how she is always cold) but then I decided that if I feel like pulling a slab of liver from the fridge and eating it for supper instead of soup, I f'ing will. Raw if I feel like it.

        Sorry, I am kindda feeling like I am in the middle of the death by one thousand silken threads right now, and cranky!
        Last edited by Leida; 07-05-2012, 09:33 AM.
        My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
        When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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        • #5
          Come eat a meal with me. You won't feel so badly anymore. I consider being able to eat lots of real food a badge of honor. What turns me off are the women that eat 2 cups of salad and 4oz of meat, or yogurt and a tiny sandwich. Ooo, cottage cheese and crackers again? Tasty, I'm so jealous of your lunch *eye roll* How anyone can survive off that is mindboggling. I eat my lunch out of a 13 cup storage container. My co-workers call it my "trough." It's consistently overfilled. I have to press down with my bodyweight to snap the lid on.
          Last edited by ChocoTaco369; 07-05-2012, 09:49 AM.
          Don't put your trust in anyone on this forum, including me. You are the key to your own success.

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          • #6
            i don't have time for people that get 'embarrassed'

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            • #7
              Yeah, I can't stand it when people pick at their food, I want to see some happy eating.

              Next time your boyfriend comments, tell him to shut up and hand his plate over, you ain't done yet. It's all about the confidence.

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              • #8
                He's actually made some comments a couple times. I tried to explain to him that because I don't have a big base of rice or pasta under my food I have to eat more meat and vegetables.

                He asked me how come I don't eat rice (maybe he was reading up on "safe starches" or something). I told him I usually take a little bit, but I don't do the huge heaping piles of rice anymore because it just gives me a stuffed feeling. Whereas when I have a huge heaping pile of real food without rice or on top of lettuce or cauliflower, I might feel full but I don't feel stuffed. I also told him I like the weight loss I got eating this way and I don't want to blow it.

                I guess it's okay to stuff yourself with filler but not with actual food. I feel embarrassed because the food and the quantity that I eat is not dainty. There's nothing about me that's dainty.
                Female, 5'3", 50, Max squat: 202.5lbs. Max deadlift: 225 x 3.

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                • #9
                  Well, next time you can pick the fork with two fingers and set your pinkie aside when you are eating your steak and serve it on the finest China (he can wash it).... If you don't own China, lol, I wish I could lend you some of mine, my mother brought the whole cupboard full, it is on the perpetual display in the living room now.
                  My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
                  When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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                  • #10
                    I know the feeling- my MIL counts every bite I take and then tells the family about it later- the funny way, haha.

                    When I was very thin and pretty (yep, back then) I got plenty of compliments, but I got even more shit- like everybody was trying to find something to bring me down from what they assumed was my high horse. Read that article in Glamour on prejudices on thin people? That's all true and then some. So maybe your bf has an issue with the weight you lost and feels left behind or something.

                    But honestly, I think men typically aren't that complex (present company excluded)- they happily talk about how much we eat without meaning anything else but that we eat a lot. The rest we come up with ourselves. Your choices are to tell him that bothers you because it plays into your body image issues, or to give him high five and have another drumstick.

                    Anyways, hugs to you, sister. Now get over it, you bloody well don't have to be dainty (sheesh) and you look good in your avatar.

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                    • #11
                      I know the feeling- my MIL counts every bite I take and then tells the family about it later- the funny way, haha.
                      (Hugs)

                      I wish I was my husband. When MIL noted in her usual way: You eat skin (we had a roasted chicken), he looked straight at her and said: Yeah, I am eating Primal, losing weight on it. (I wanted to hug him!)
                      My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
                      When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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                      • #12
                        No I'm not embarrassed. Because its not a competition. Hubby and I are the same height, and probably close to the same weight. But I'm an above average size woman, and he's a below average size man. Our meals are probably on par, but he snacks on crap and I don't. On occasion our 9 or 12 year old will eat both of us under the table. As long as we're talking chicken thighs and not pizza slices, what's the big deal.

                        You look better than ever, and he's criticising your food choices? Bastard.

                        Gawd, I used to hate it when I would lunch with a certain coworker. She would wait to order last to make sure she ordered something smaller than eveyrone else, or order the same thing but be sure to eat less than you. Why do women have to turn a meal into a pissing contest?
                        Sandra
                        *My obligatory intro

                        There are no cheat days. There are days when you eat primal and days you don't. As soon as you label a day a cheat day, you're on a diet. Don't be on a diet. ~~ Fernaldo

                        DAINTY CAN KISS MY PRIMAL BACKSIDE. ~~ Crabcakes

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                        • #13
                          Well, I'm not in the exact same position but I feel you. When my dad didn't see me eating breakfast he thinks i'm starving myself. And when I eat 2 lbs of meat he says I'm eating too much meat and says how much he finds meat gross. Sometimes I think "can't you die already from your vegetable oil fried fake meats?" ok he's my dad I love him actually.
                          But seriously
                          well then

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                          • #14
                            Well, I totaled in at 6400 calories yesterday; my wife doesn't eat as much as I do. Different people eat different amounts of food. If you were 450 pounds and suckin' down 12 footlong meatball subs for lunch, yes, I would be embarrassed. Eating a bunch of meat and veggies? That's pretty sexy actually. A chick that can take down a big steak is cool in my book.
                            "The problem with quoting someone on the Internet is, you never know if it's legit" - Abraham Lincoln

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by sbhikes View Post
                              And I'm embarrassed that I need so much compared him, and embarrassed because he notices. Is anyone else in the same position?
                              Psh, you look awesome. Like you said, he's filling up on...well, fillers! Of course you would need more 'real food' if that's the case. Nothing to be embarrassed about there

                              We're conditioned to have this need to feel dainty, light as a feather, etc. It can be overwhelming at times.
                              I just keep in mind that if I'm going to work hard, play hard, have a personality, etc. then I need to eat real food. And enough of it!
                              "Imagine all the people, living life in peace..."

                              "Nothing will work unless you do."

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