Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Just dumping a general question on you all and would love some advice

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Just dumping a general question on you all and would love some advice

    I'll keep it brief.
    Me and my dad who I live with have brought in another guy to fill out the spared bedroom in the house on an extremely cheap weekly price. It started off ok, but the guy seems to be getting more and more nuttier by the day. I could leave a coffee mug out for 5 minutes while I take a shower and he will blow up and start cursing about how he shouldn't have to clean up after everything. He's a total obsessive OCD neat freak who completely wrecks the whole easygoing laid back vibe of the house.

    I feel like I'm walking on eggshells just living with him. The next time he goes nuts I think I'm just going to flip out or something and kick all of his belongings into the front gutter so he really gets the message that it's time to leave. We've tried talking civilly to him but nothing seems to be getting through.

    How do you get someone out of your house as peacefully as possible?

  • #2
    I'd just say that you don't think it's working out and ask him to find somewhere else to live. If you really want to avoid confrontation, just make something up.. say a long lost aunt just lost her house and will be moving in. Something like that, then there's nothing to fight about.

    Comment


    • #3
      Did he sign a lease? If not, it makes it easier. Since he pays by the week, give him enough notice to find a place. Check tenancy legislation for your country. It can change from place to place. You may need to give 15 days notice of eviction, or could be less or more.

      If you think that this is going to create a confrontation and you're trying to avoid this, then maybe the above.....
      Last edited by Metric; 06-28-2012, 09:43 AM.

      Comment


      • #4
        Yeah, I'm with PBD, totally lie.

        Get theeself to a far away post office with a card. Fill it out from Aunt or Cousin Nelly, saying
        they have no place else to go, by a certain date, and could they please come stay with you
        until they find another place to live.

        Mail the card and then read it (and gasp for effect) in front of your shitty roommate. Then look
        to him forlornly and say "dude, man, I'm sorry, but it's family, you have 15 days to find another place".

        OR SOMETHING

        Make it look like it's SO not your doing or fault at ALL.

        I'd generally do what Metric says, but this dude sounds like a fruitcake and might go batshit crazy.


        Julie

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by palebluedots View Post
          I'd just say that you don't think it's working out and ask him to find somewhere else to live. If you really want to avoid confrontation, just make something up.. say a long lost aunt just lost her house and will be moving in. Something like that, then there's nothing to fight about.
          We have, but he just keeps apologising and saying he won't do it again and then lays the guilt trip on us about how he is so unwell an needs medication or something. He is so damn intent on staying and we are atleast trying to keep somewhat of a cordial relationship with him. But then he acts like he's our best friends and it makes things so damn arwkard. lol

          Comment


          • #6
            I had a similar-ish problem about a year and a half ago. Well... it wasn't similar, but I did have someone crashing in my living room who I thought was normal but turned out to be batshit crazy. This girl was so convinced that she and I and my roommate would be *BFFSFOREVERRROMG* yet it turns out a horribly abusive childhood produced a really, really f*cked up adult. Ugh. While I totally understand and empathize with the need to lie, I'm a fan of honesty. It is harder but it takes more character. I've been guilty of the easy way out so there is NO judgement about that advice or if you choose to take that advice... but consider also how big your cojones will feel when you've stood up for yourself and what you believe in.

            At the end of the day - it's your house. (Well, yours and your dad's but you know what I mean). And it sucks to play the bad cop and YES you will feel guilty... but the relief you feel after the last bags are out of your door and that person is out of your life is incomparable.

            I'd say the next time an "incident" occurs - and it sounds like that is inevitable - just put your foot down. You may feel like an ass for a week or two or however long he is in your house while he finds a new place but is that really worse than having a stressful living situation? The world is stressful as hell. Your house is your home and should be your sanctuary. There is enough negativity in the world without there being such negativity in your home, too.

            Or just let him stay and you be the one to get over it. Or get a friend to call as your dear cousin John or send a postcard. Regardless - do something because you don't need the angst, homie!

            GOOD LUCK! Those situations.... gah they suck.
            Live Clean, Love Hard. Or vice versa.


            Female! Height: 5'10.5" HW: 161 SW: 135 CW: 124 GW: Whatever number my body wants to be when I'm eating and moving well - trying to get that muscle mass up.

            Comment


            • #7
              Oh, or don't wait for an "incident" and simply go with the whole... "you're not a bad person but your presence is making me feel like I have to walk on eggshells in my own house. I know you say that it won't happen again but the negativity isn't worth it. Sorry. You have X days. Good luck."
              Live Clean, Love Hard. Or vice versa.


              Female! Height: 5'10.5" HW: 161 SW: 135 CW: 124 GW: Whatever number my body wants to be when I'm eating and moving well - trying to get that muscle mass up.

              Comment


              • #8
                honesty is usually the best policy but this guy is a nutjob who explodes in curses about a 5 minute coffee mug

                so i'm really digging the post card from aunt pearl
                beautiful
                yeah you are

                Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                lol

                Comment


                • #9
                  Dude, you and your dad need to grow a pair. It's your house, he is a tenant, not a friend, and it's not working. Tell him you are terminating the arrangement because it's not working out well for you, and that he needs to find another living arrangement within 30 days or whatever. There is no need to be unnecessarily nice and doormat-like for someone who is not a good friend or family member.
                  Today I will: Eat food, not poison. Plan for success, not settle for failure. Live my real life, not a virtual one. Move and grow, not sit and die.

                  My Primal Journal

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Follow your instincts and show him to the door. You don't need this crap.
                    F 5 ft 3. HW: 196 lbs. Primal SW (May 2011): 182 lbs (42% BF)... W June '12: 160 lbs (29% BF) (UK size 12, US size 8). GW: ~24% BF - have ditched the scales til I fit into a pair of UK size 10 bootcut jeans. Currently aligning towards 'The Perfect Health Diet' having swapped some fat for potatoes.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by InSearchOfAbs View Post
                      Yeah, I'm with PBD, totally lie.

                      Get theeself to a far away post office with a card. Fill it out from Aunt or Cousin Nelly, saying
                      they have no place else to go, by a certain date, and could they please come stay with you
                      until they find another place to live.
                      If you decide to take this option, get a female friend to write the card instead of it being in your hand. Girl handwriting tends to be recognizably different from guy handwriting. Seriously crazy people look very closely at the damndest things...
                      I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I gotta tell you...people don't write about such things usually. A fake phone call from a female voice while Mr. BSC is around would work better. Keep it very simple. Respond with, "OK. Lets have lunch together tomorrow and see how we can help." Just set the stage and then tell them the next day. I believe in honesty too, but you are dealing with potential postal behavior here ... so protecting yourself is wise.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          ^ even better, and it doesn't take a whole lot of acting skills to sound/look concerned

                          i live near crazy people, i was involved with crazy people, take the path of least crazy-provoking
                          beautiful
                          yeah you are

                          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                          lol

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Awesome news. Things came to a point yesterday and it all blew up. The end result is he's moving out. Hopefully soon.
                            Thanks for the good advice. I would of been comfortable kicking him out myself but I don't own the house so it wasn't ultimately my decision in the end.

                            The best thing about this is that I can actually start properly cooking meals again. My eating was getting pretty bad because I would ended up eating out so much because it was uncomfortable cooking at home with him around because I wasn't sure if he would complain about things like leaving the slow cooker out. lol.
                            I really hope he finds a new place ASAP.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              First, you'll need to know the eviction laws where you live.

                              You might need to give him a certain amount of notice, and that's that. Usually it's 30 days.

                              You just approach him and say "sorry, this living arrangement isn't working out. As such, you have 30 days to find new digs. Oh, and here's a notorized letter to that effect." And then that's that.

                              Do you have a lease, any sort of written document from/with him? You might want to talk with a lawyer who deals in these things.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X