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  • Are you paranoid you'll get cancer?

    I am. I've lost so many family members and friends to cancer. I feel it's inevitable for me and my husband. We try to remind ourselves daily of how precious our time here is. We are so thankful to have each other, and we try to make sure we spend quality time with our loved ones, some who are currently dying. We focus on laughter, on art, on creative acts. How do you keep hopeful and light in the midst of death?

  • #2
    Many close ones have suffered through or passed away from cancer (family and friends), but no, I don't fear death. It's the inevitable end result of life. You are born and you die, these are two certainties. I would prefer a quick and painless death though instead of one filled with suffering.

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    • #3
      Better to live strong and die young than to be weak and live a long miserable life.
      Integrity is what we do when nobody's watching.

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      • #4
        It sounds to me like you already are making a conscientious effort to live with hope and light. Recognizing every day what's most important really helps. I sometimes worry about getting cancer since my husband died of it at 46. (Honestly I don't know if I could or would fight as hard as he did -- but you don't know til you're there.) But it doesn't occupy my mind the way it once did.

        Other than the plain fact of losing him, when he died we had no regrets and nothing unsaid to each other. He used to joke that there's nothing like being terminally ill to make you live in the moment! The experience grew me up a lot - I am a kinder, more patient person and I try to extend that to myself too.

        Be good to yourself. Be good to others. And recognize that just because things might not work out the way you wanted, you didn't fail. We'll all die someday, that's inevitable. But live the way you mean to while you're here.
        My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57034.html

        "...since our orthodox theories have not saved us we may have to readjust them to bring them into harmony with Nature's laws. Nature must be obeyed, not orthodoxy." Weston A. Price

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        • #5
          The probability of cancer being nourished in my body is pretty slim. Almost everything I do and eat is said to be cancer preventing. But I guess we'll see. My Grandpa died of cancer, and my Mom has stomach ulcer issues, so who knows?
          Crohn's, doing SCD

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Wrenwood View Post
            It sounds to me like you already are making a conscientious effort to live with hope and light. Recognizing every day what's most important really helps. I sometimes worry about getting cancer since my husband died of it at 46. (Honestly I don't know if I could or would fight as hard as he did -- but you don't know til you're there.) But it doesn't occupy my mind the way it once did.

            Other than the plain fact of losing him, when he died we had no regrets and nothing unsaid to each other. He used to joke that there's nothing like being terminally ill to make you live in the moment! The experience grew me up a lot - I am a kinder, more patient person and I try to extend that to myself too.

            Be good to yourself. Be good to others. And recognize that just because things might not work out the way you wanted, you didn't fail. We'll all die someday, that's inevitable. But live the way you mean to while you're here.
            Thank you. My husband lost his father to cancer a year before we were married, and now my stepfather has cancer. My grandfather, who raised me, has lived with cancer for over a decade, but the emphysema will take him soon. my husband and I love each other, SO MUCH. It is unbearable for either of us to lose the other. He's said if I die, so does he. I feel the same- I mean it. It makes our time together so desperately important, we've been together ten years, but there's never enough time.

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            • #7
              I had breast cancer five years ago. There is nothing like a close brush with death to get you off your ass and making some permanent changes. The oncologist said the best thing I could do to prevent a recurrence was to lose some weight. I went from 210 size 16 to 145 size 6 (at 5'10"). Survival is a much stronger motivator than vanity could ever be. Some people around here have said I am a bit of a hard ass about no cheating and being strict with tracking and counting. I have good reason to be.

              A couple of weeks ago I got my five years post cancer check up including mammogram, bone density scan, blood work. Five years is the point where, statistically speaking, the rate of recurrence drops off very steeply. All the scans and tests came back all clear. I am ridiculously healthy (especially for 50) and plan to stay that way until I drop dead one day about 75 years from now.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Paleobird View Post
                I had breast cancer five years ago. There is nothing like a close brush with death to get you off your ass and making some permanent changes. The oncologist said the best thing I could do to prevent a recurrence was to lose some weight. I went from 210 size 16 to 145 size 6 (at 5'10"). Survival is a much stronger motivator than vanity could ever be. Some people around here have said I am a bit of a hard ass about no cheating and being strict with tracking and counting. I have good reason to be.

                A couple of weeks ago I got my five years post cancer check up including mammogram, bone density scan, blood work. Five years is the point where, statistically speaking, the rate of recurrence drops off very steeply. All the scans and tests came back all clear. I am ridiculously healthy (especially for 50) and plan to stay that way until I drop dead one day about 75 years from now.
                That's awesome! I've had two cancer scares, one breast, one skin cancer.Both seem to be benign, but I have to have regular screenings. My stepdad has malignant melanoma, which has spread to his lymph nodes, some lymph nodes he's had removed. He isn't doing well, though. My husband still smokes, even though his dad died 11 years ago, from lung cancer. I don't want him to die, I absolutely love him. I am a recovering alcoholic, and several close family members were dying from liver cancer, and one died from cancer , my granddad,the other had massive organ failure and killed himself, my uncle. My other uncle is also dying and tried to kill himself, a few months ago. I do not want to suffer and die, I'm afraid my choices will make that inevitable. I want to live, and I want my family to recover.

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                • #9
                  Very sobering thought. You're only 31! You do seem to already be living life to the fullest, as usual it's a balance thing to achieve being aware and being happy and not stressing

                  I'm young and my relatives are old, but still alive. My parents are both in reasonable health, but overweight. Only recently did one of my grandparents pass away at 80. My other grandparents are 65-85 and in alright health, but two of them have had cancer and have beaten it, for now. My great grandparents all lived to very high ages, some in the 90s.

                  I guess it does cross my mind though... I'm just forever hopeful I'm healthy enough in general, and will be in the long run, that even if it is cancer that gets me in the end, I'll have lived a long quality life.
                  Current weight lost: 82.9lb (37.6kg)

                  Current PRs:
                  Bench: 45kg/99lb
                  Squat: 100kg/220lb
                  Deadlift: 120kg/265lb

                  My blog
                  My journal

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Rasputina View Post
                    I am. I've lost so many family members and friends to cancer. I feel it's inevitable for me and my husband. We try to remind ourselves daily of how precious our time here is. We are so thankful to have each other, and we try to make sure we spend quality time with our loved ones, some who are currently dying. We focus on laughter, on art, on creative acts. How do you keep hopeful and light in the midst of death?

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                    • #11
                      No. There's a much greater chance I'll die of a vascular event. Although I do intend being at paleobird's 120th birthday party
                      Four years Primal with influences from Jaminet & Shanahan and a focus on being anti-inflammatory. Using Primal to treat CVD and prevent stents from blocking free of drugs.

                      Eat creatures nose-to-tail (animal, fowl, fish, crustacea, molluscs), a large variety of vegetables (raw, cooked and fermented, including safe starches), dairy (cheese & yoghurt), occasional fruit, cocoa, turmeric & red wine

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by peril View Post
                        No. There's a much greater chance I'll die of a vascular event. Although I do intend being at paleobird's 120th birthday party
                        No heart attacks in my hot tub though.

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                        • #13
                          First of all, cancer is a disease of civilization as far as we know. Sure, pre-agriculture peoples didn't often live long enough to see cancer happen, but we still don't see any examples of it in their societies. We also now get cancer at younger and younger ages, which would definitely overlap even a 30-year average life expectancy of a hunter-gatherer. Living as a hunter-gatherer by eating, sleeping, exercising, not having long-term stress, getting sunlight, etc are all things that should all but eliminate one's chances of cancer. If you blame cancer on a pollutive effect of our own technology, then you might have a point. I don't see how you could do much about it even if it were the case though. Maybe simply live in more pristine environments?

                          Secondly, I find this 'fear of death' very interesting. There's a couple things that seem to be true for me. One, you do not worry about the future when you are living a FULL life. If every aspect of your life is great, you will be living in the moment. Two, I don't feel like death is anything odd or awful at all. It's part of the circle of life. I eat dead things every single day for dinner, and it's only natural that I will return to the ground from which the life within me had sprung. I think the fear of death arises in people that are not living full lives and do not understand the world very well.
                          Last edited by wiltondeportes; 06-16-2012, 01:29 AM.

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                          • #14
                            While I don't have a fear of cancer specifically, or a particular fear of death at all... I do understand it.

                            Last year I had a sudden onset episode that landed me in the ER. I lost my ability to speak, move my arms and legs, think clearly, control my bodily functions, time became very warped... It was frightening. There were moments of clarity when it was upsetting because I was thinking "Wait! I'm not done yet..." I didn't want to be separated from my husband, from my son, etc. and I was feeling a sense of loss. But, in other moments, when my brain was really shutting down and I was losing consciousness it was very peaceful... and I thought that it wouldn't be so bad, that it might even feel really good, to just let go. The sternum rubs during the peaceful times were ANNOYING!

                            I didn't know it at the time but what I was experiencing was an elevated brain pressure event. My cerebrospinal fluid pressure had gotten so high that it was shutting down some of my bodily function. Not generally a cause of death, but comas do happen from it... and then treatment lowers pressure so that function returns.
                            As my pressure slowly lowered and I was more conscious I found a way to tell husband that I loved him with mutilated noises, squeezes of fingers, and a few tears instead of words... I'm not really afraid of death(and I came pretty close to facing it as far as I knew at the time), but I sure as hell am not ready to die. Husband also doesn't live in fear of my death although I'm at a higher risk than most people, but he's not ready to be done with me yet either.

                            Just because a person is living an extremely conscious, connected, happy, and FULL life doesn't mean that they don't want to stick around for some more of it. When you have a SO or children I think that this desire increases greatly... circle of life or not. There is simply an intense urge to continue those intimate relationships. This is probably part of the design of things. We really SHOULD want to stick around for those we care the most about IMO.
                            When a person has loved ones suffering and passing on all around them in their lives it's very different than a piece of animal flesh on a plate, or the notion of a human you've never met dying. It's pain and mortality made suddenly all too real for many people; death isn't as abstract a concept anymore, it feels tangible and more meaningful. Fear of death is fear of loss... not the loss of LIFE necessarily, but the loss of love and connection to people important to you. Fear of death, especially where difficult diseases such as cancer are concerned, is also a fear of suffering and helplessness. It's not just about being dead.
                            I have watched a couple of extended family members die the slow agonizing death of cancer... it is a fearful thing to behold. It cannot easily be managed with dignity or pride in this country.
                            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

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                            • #15
                              I have no fear of death and little fear of how I'll die (don't want to burn or drown if I had my druthers). I have a greater fear of not living, of spending my days worrying about a disease and focusing my life around eating/doing things to try and avoid every disease. I'm adopted and have no clue about my biological family so I don't know if a heart attack at 60 may be waiting for me or cancer at 65 based on family history. I worked as a paramedic for almost 20 years and I have a much greater fear of living my final years in a nursing home, put there by a family that doesn't want to take care of me.

                              Like the t-shirt says, "Live long, drop dead". That is my plan and I'll be damned if I'll live everyday fearing that day.
                              Randal
                              AKA: Texas Grok

                              Originally posted by texas.grok
                              Facebook is to intelligence what a black hole is to light
                              http://hardcoremind.com/

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