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The Feminization of Males

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  • so you get the hookers on the side, what's the problem

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    • Originally posted by magnolia1973 View Post
      Yeah- the funny thing is that a lot of very fat women don't care, while the one's saying "Oh, I'm so fat" are women that no man would think are fat, except for a fashion designer.

      I mean, here is what the media considers to be a fat woman:

      Well thank goodness she's a singer, using her vocal chords to earn her living, and not something like, oh, I dunno, her physique. (/sarcasm)

      I think we're missing the point. So what if she's fat or overweight or whateveryouwanttocallit? She makes her living from her voice, mostly. Does she have to be beautiful AND thin too? Being talented, gifted, really good at what you do isn't enough? So she isn't attractive to some men. Big deal. There are plenty of men who would tap that, as I'm sure she's aware. She's successful at what she does - sing.

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      • Originally posted by Rosegin View Post
        The first mistake a person can make is to trust their spouse/significant other completely. You can't even trust yourself completely. Put in the right situation ANYONE would cheat. The smart thing to do is keep yourself out of risky situations.
        I don't agree with never trusting your mate completely - I think it's necessary for true intimacy. BUT, I do agree that none of us can expect to know what another person will or won't do in any given situation. We just don't know a person as well as they know themselves, and cannot account for every variable. Does everyone do it? No. Is everyone tempted? No. Is everyone capable? Yes.

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        • Originally posted by Clabbergirl View Post
          I don't agree with never trusting your mate completely - I think it's necessary for true intimacy. BUT, I do agree that none of us can expect to know what another person will or won't do in any given situation. We just don't know a person as well as they know themselves, and cannot account for every variable. Does everyone do it? No. Is everyone tempted? No. Is everyone capable? Yes.
          this reminds me of a song from many years ago:



          if you see past the ugly presentation you will see it addresses many of the topics brought in this thread

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          • Originally posted by Clabbergirl View Post
            A relationship that gets to this point has deeper problems than sex, but I cringe when I hear women excusing infidelity on the pretense than men just can't do without sex. That only feeds into the myth that men are simple-minded, incompetent creatures driven solely by their urges with no self-control. Do men want to do without sex? Not many, I'd reckon, but can they? Sure they can. A woman withholding sex is a couple in the midst of a power struggle and poor intimacy, but is she asking for an affair? Hardly.
            Yes, she is. One way of showing a husband your appreciation is to fulfill his sexual needs. If you consistently, day in and day out, refuse to acknowledge this need and desire of your husband's, then you are negating your marriage contract. What would we think of a man who refused to go to work because he "didn't feel like it"? What would we think of a man who emotionally withheld love and affection from his wife? What would we think of a man who told his wife that "her feelings didn't matter" and "he didn't care what she wanted from their marriage"? We'd call that guy an ass and wouldn't be surprised when his wife found herself a better man.

            The same goes for women. It's expressed differently, but it's the same principle.

            Sex just once or twice a year is emotional cruel treatment, whether it's the man withholding it or the woman, assuming both partners are healthy.
            Last edited by banananutmuffin; 01-26-2012, 09:55 AM.
            Female, 40 yrs old, 5', 120 lbs (post-pregnancy)
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            • Originally posted by banananutmuffin View Post
              Yes, she is. One way of showing a husband your appreciation is to fulfill his sexual needs. If you consistently, day in and day out, refuse to acknowledge this need and desire of your husband's, then you are negating your marriage contract. What would we think of a man who refused to go to work because he "didn't feel like it"? What would we think of a man who emotionally withheld love and affection from his wife? What would we think of a man who told his wife that "her feelings didn't matter" and "he didn't care what she wanted from their marriage"? We'd call that guy an ass and wouldn't be surprised when his wife found herself a better man.

              The same goes for women. It's expressed differently, but it's the same principle.

              Sex just once or twice a year is emotional cruel treatment, whether it's the man withholding it or the woman, assuming both partners are healthy.
              But the answer isn't to have an affair. It's to confront the issue, make sure it isn't a mental/health problem, go for counseling to see what the deeper issue is or get a divorce. But that would be the grown-up thing to do and people who behave like this are childish. Sorry, can't make excuses for people behaving badly.
              Buy house, Demolish house, Build house.

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              • sex is the ultimate expression of intimacy. witholding it for any reason is not only cruel treatment and manipulation, but petty bullshit. if a wife is witholding sex from her husband, then that woman has deeper issues that need to be addressed. i hear women in my office talk about "holding out until their husband cleans the garage" or only doing oral on birthdays etc. give me a f'ing break. you know what i call women like that? SINGLE. sex is not a tool or a weapon. and when it gets to that point for a relationship, that relationship is over. now if a husband is witholding sex from his wife, then he has a woman (or man) on the side and his wife is an idiot

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                • Originally posted by Blackcatbone View Post
                  But the answer isn't to have an affair. It's to confront the issue, make sure it isn't a mental/health problem, go for counseling to see what the deeper issue is or get a divorce. But that would be the grown-up thing to do and people who behave like this are childish. Sorry, can't make excuses for people behaving badly.
                  Childish behavior is generally reacted by more childish behavior
                  Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                  Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                  Current Weight: 235 pounds
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                  • Originally posted by kenn View Post
                    So whats up with all the late 20s and early 30s women banging young boys lately? Why aren't they demonized for being being pedophiles?
                    Are teachers who sleep with boys getting off? - Slate Magazine
                    Buy house, Demolish house, Build house.

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                    • Heather Lasseigne Chiasson: Louisiana English teacher, 29, 'had sex with student, 17' | Mail Online


                      Starting Date: Dec 18, 2010
                      Starting Weight: 294 pounds
                      Current Weight: 235 pounds
                      Goal Weight: 195 pounds

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                      • Originally posted by kenn View Post
                        Childish behavior is generally reacted by more childish behavior
                        I didn't say it wasn't. What I was saying is that reacting to childish behavior with more childish behavior is shitty all around. But someone has to be the adult and stop the cycle of bad behavior. When I said "people who behave like this are childish" I meant both parties.
                        Buy house, Demolish house, Build house.

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                        • Yes? And? It's being investigated.
                          Buy house, Demolish house, Build house.

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                          • Originally posted by banananutmuffin View Post
                            Yes, she is. One way of showing a husband your appreciation is to fulfill his sexual needs. If you consistently, day in and day out, refuse to acknowledge this need and desire of your husband's, then you are negating your marriage contract. What would we think of a man who refused to go to work because he "didn't feel like it"? What would we think of a man who emotionally withheld love and affection from his wife? What would we think of a man who told his wife that "her feelings didn't matter" and "he didn't care what she wanted from their marriage"? We'd call that guy an ass and wouldn't be surprised when his wife found herself a better man.

                            The same goes for women. It's expressed differently, but it's the same principle.

                            Sex just once or twice a year is emotional cruel treatment, whether it's the man withholding it or the woman, assuming both partners are healthy.
                            I'll still have to disagree with you on the notion that the woman (or man) that's cheated on is responsible for the actions of the cheater. If that logic is carried over into other areas of the relationship, does that mean a woman who gains weight (whether on purpose, with decrease in activity, or old age) and becomes unattractive to her mate is inadvertently giving him the green flag to have an affair? He needs and desires a thin, hot, sexy wife, and well, she's not meeting that need anymore. What did she expect him to do? Love her for better or worse? The same thing goes on the flip side - a man gets moobs and loses his job. Is he a lazy asshole? Maybe. Or maybe he's a guy who's like so many other uninformed about diet and life and so on. But regardless of his shortcomings, should he expect his wife to start nailing the pool boy while he's at the unemployment office? Or more like a woman, expect her to run off with the first financially stable and physically fit guy she meets? I don't think so. Do these things happen? Sure they do, but they are more about the traits of the cheater, not the one who was cheated on. Do they play a part in the relationship getting to the point where a person cheats? Of course they do, and they contribute to the distance that develops between two people in order for their to be infidelity in the first place - but they are not responsible.

                            What about the woman who is laying her husband 5x week or more, 3 ways on special occasions, and he still cheats. I exaggerate a bit, but there are plenty of those. Men just aren't as simple as sex = fidelity.

                            I believe we are all responsible for our own behavior. If I cheat on my spouse, I did it, not him, and vice versa. Now in the example, a man cheating in this kind of relationship is certainly understandable - people cheat for far less. But does it make it the norm? Does it become expected? I disagree. But YMMV.
                            Last edited by Clabbergirl; 01-26-2012, 10:17 AM.

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                            • Originally posted by RitaRose View Post
                              For me, a real man doesn't speak when he doesn't know.

                              Because no one knows everything, and a good leader understands that.
                              so to you man = leader?
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                              • Originally posted by not on the rug View Post
                                ...i hear women in my office talk about "holding out until their husband cleans the garage" or only doing oral on birthdays etc. give me a f'ing break. you know what i call women like that? SINGLE. sex is not a tool or a weapon...
                                LOL. I agree with you - it's not a weapon/tool, but it's been used for centuries as such, which is a real shame. Sex is the one universal currency women have had throughout history that has sustained its value.

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